Sunday, February 23, 2014
Jesus Loves Me?
Well, Brothers and Sisters, it’s Sunday in this Exceptionally Christian Nation, so what better time to talk a little about what the Lord has in store for us these days?
First up, this guy, God’s right hand in Texas, the one and only Tom DeLay—
wants to remind us all that, on the fifth or sixth day [not sure which], God wrote the US Constitution. That collection of bewigged displaced plutocrats, Masons, Free-Thinkers and Humanists, aka the Founding Fathers, were merely channeling God [King James Version] and his ambitious plans for a “shining city on a hill” to rule his creation, Earth, forever and ever, Amen!
In a recent radio meet-up with Pastor Hagee, the Younger, The Hammer patiently explained why America the Beautiful is such a hot mess, lately.
It’s because we:
stopped realizing that God created this nation, that He wrote the Constitution, that it’s based on Biblical principles…
In retrospect, Brother DeLay believes that the religious right blew it when they:
. . . allowed those that don’t believe in those things to keep pushing us and pushing us and pushing us away from the government instead of standing up and being unashamedly a follower of Jesus Christ and fighting for our values in our society.
But, fear not, “oh ye of little faith:”
I really feel now, Pastor Matt, that the Lord has heard us, and I see the Holy Spirit moving, and I pray every day for an awakening in this country, and I think it’s coming, and people have been praying for many, many years, seeking the face of God, and it’s coming.
As Juanita Jean, astutely points out, it is highly likely that Brother Tom is “hitting the sauce” again . . .
read the whole post »
Posted by Bette Noir on 02/23/14 at 12:22 PM
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
C’mon Truth, Get Your Damn Shoes On!
“A lie can travel halfway round the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”
This quote has been attributed to Mark Twain, but it has never been verified as originating with Twain. This quote may have originated with Charles Haddon Spurgeon (1834-92) who attributed it to an old proverb in a sermon delivered on Sunday morning, April 1, 1855. Spurgeon was a celebrated English fundamentalist Baptist preacher. His words were: “A lie will go round the world while truth is pulling its boots on.”
Brace yourselves, Roasters, it’s starting early this time around. You know what I mean, right? that goofy quadrennial American reality show called The Making of The President, in which a gang of nattering political nabobs join in a rousing cacophonous chorus of Me! ME!! Look at meeeee!
One of the talking points that seems to be developing legs, on the Right, is the Lawless Obama meme. Rallying round that notion, I expect the pundits of the courtier press to be donning their little amateur constitutionalist thinking caps, any minute now, and letting us in on what their “gut” tells them is unconstitutional. And we the people will commence quivering with fear because . . . ASSAULT ON LIBERTY!!!
read the whole post »
Posted by Bette Noir on 02/18/14 at 10:57 AM
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Send in the Clowns: Breitbart Plans World Domination
Ambling around the Web this evening, I stumbled upon this headline:
Delingpole quits Telegraph ahead of UK launch of Breitbart.com
Two things immediately jumped out at me.
Delingpole—who, if you’ve never had the pleasure, is one James “I’m right about everything” Delingpole, in his own words “a member of probably the most discriminated-against subsection in the whole of British society—the white, middle-aged, public-school-and-Oxbridge educated middle-class male” who a few years ago earned this very blog’s coveted accolade of Dickhead of the Day, along with the timeless lede “Cretinous British twit,” which is far from the unkindest thing that’s ever been said about him (and I’d like a few props for resisting the obvious Photoshop here ... gnnnn).
Why, he’s even described himself as “James Delingpole — the man so barking even Ukip [the UK Independence Party] wouldn’t have him.”
How to sum up Sucky Jim otherwise? Google is, as ever, your helpful friend:
He’s a self-described rightwing libertarian, an ideologue who in 2010 called for a British Tea Party movement, kind of missing the point of the original Tea Party.
He also fancies himself a satirist, a poor man’s Jeremy Clarkson if you will, failing to see why some might take exception to a passage like this:
... Barack Seamus O’Toole Flaherty Joyce O’Bama is the most Irish US president that ever set foot on the Emerald Oisle, so he is, so he is.
Except, when he’s in Africa, of course, when he disappears into the dry ice and re-emerges with a grass skirt and a bone through his nose and declares himself to be Mandingo, Prince of the Bloodline of the Bonga People, Drinker of Cattle Urine, Father of A Thousand Warrior Sons, Keeper of King Solomon’s Mines, Barehanded Slayer of Lions, Undaunted Victim of the Evil Colonial British Empire.
You could also with some justification call him a minor toff (daddy owned a factory, so he’d never make the major leagues short of marrying a Royal filly, which he hasn’t so far), the minorness no doubt being the impetus for his incessant clamor for attention and Pooteresque trumpeting of his mediocrity.
A polemical left-baiting anthropomorphic climate change denier, his Daily Telegraph blurb reads:
James Delingpole is a writer, journalist and broadcaster who is right about everything. He is the author of numerous fantastically entertaining books, including his most recent work Watermelons: How the Environmentalists are Killing the Planet, Destroying the Economy and Stealing Your Children’s Future, also available in the US, and in Australia as Killing the Earth to Save It. His website is www.jamesdelingpole.com.
His acumen can be gauged if you click on that link to “his” eponymous website.*
read the whole post »
Posted by YAFB on 02/16/14 at 11:42 PM
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Tom Perkins Makes Some Interesting Points
I have the feeling that Tom Perkins and I don’t have considerable overlap in our personal views or experiences regarding money. It’s okay, and I judge, but, like, I don’t judge, man. He’s made a living knowing things about money, while for me, economics is a neat hobby, but I read poetry in college because my folks wanted me to be a useful citizen and iambs kept me off the pipe and the pole. Kind of. So I am taking his pronouncements with a grain of salt and a spoonful of sugar.
It’s hard to not look at a claim that people should earn votes based on their tax dollars as a form of elitism where wealthy people have more value in a system based on their proportionate capacity to pay more in tax dollars because they have those dollars to pay. I could envision a system where, by virtue of greed and the complicity of the hoi polloi, the wealthy could become disenfranchised by a tax law exempting the 1%-ers from all taxation. Followed by a brief and satisfying reign of terror in the exact year they lose all the votes. But I have long dipped my toes in speculative fiction where justice often follows narrative ends.
I do not suggest that such a future is practical nor probable. But I do note that our popular elections are so run that money does have sway in the ability of candidates, or whole movements, such as the Tea Party, to gain offices. The ability to create issues, generate turn-out, attract donations (by that old black magic called “It takes money to make money”), run ads that popularize a candidate’s name and visage, and so on, are greatly aided by money.
Why, let me introduce you to the Koch Brothers, if you haven’t been introduced! They’ve got a system. They are two guys who can fund a remarkable number of think tanks (thought tanks, I think, because the thinks were already pre-thunk, no?), action groups, and whatever you might call them. This is several different ways to funnel money to campaigns, really. Many ways to soften up voter minds or harden positions for the gullible faithful inclined to seeing things their way. Billionaires can even buy or build whole news networks. They are even owning whole states, in their unpleasant way. With the Citizen’s United decision, dollars pretty well convert to votes. Perkins’ dream is about here.
I think this is why folks of limited resources need to take advantage of voting while we can, because it is regularly being screwed with. (Nope, even today.) And let’s make sure our votes don’t get bought out from under us.
(X-Posted at Strangely Blogged.)
Posted by Vixen Strangely on 02/15/14 at 12:46 AM
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Countdown to World-Class Tantrum: Toldya So Edition
Just call me Nostradamus.
Staking out Donald Trump’s Twitter feed in wait for the almighty head explosion after the rejection of his objection to an experimental windfarm within bellowing distance of his Aberdeenshire golf development has so far proven an exercise in futility and frustration. But never fear—he found other outlets for his fury:
DONALD Trump sparked renewed outrage yesterday when he compared the development of wind farms in Scotland to the Lockerbie disaster.
On Tuesday, the billionaire tycoon announced that the Trump Organisation would be turning its back on Scotland and concentrating on developing a new course on the Republic of Ireland’s Atlantic coast.
But yesterday, Trump sparked an angry backlash after renewing his attack on green energy schemes in Scotland in an interview with the Irish Times.
He told the newspaper: “Wind farms are a disaster for Scotland, like Pan Am 103. They make people sick with the continuous noise.
I’ll pause there a moment to allow time for your brain to supply the obvious riposte. Done? OK.
They’re an abomination and are only sustained with government subsidy. Scotland is in the middle of a revolution against wind farms. People don’t want them near their homes, ruining property values.”
All 259 passengers and crew on board Pan Am Flight 103 and 11 residents of Lockerbie were killed when the Boeing 747 plunged from the skies over Dumfries and Galloway on 21 December, 1988, when the plane was destroyed by a terrorist bomb.
It can only be a matter of time before some scurrilous hyperbolic blogger somewhere compares whateverthehell that thing on Trump’s head is to 9/11, and I doubt you’ll read about it here first when it happens.
In Scotland, as well as among some of the relatives of the Lockerbie victims, this newest low low among Trumpbursts has gone down about as well as you’d expect. People might be more incensed, but it’s not the first time Trump’s invoked a comparison between the Lockerbie disaster and the Scottish government’s renewable energy strategy. Back in December 2012 Trump International Golf Links placed this advert in two Scottish newspapers.
This prompted 21 complaints to the UK Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), not least from the Scottish Green Party, which Trump greeted in his usual diplomatic manner:
The Trump Organisation responded by labelling the Green Party “a complete joke” and insisting that it had wanted the advert, which has been approved by the Committee of Advertising Practice to be much stronger.
The Trump Organisation’s executive vice-president and counsel George A. Sorial added: “The Green Party’s policies should be challenged on every front because they have done nothing to protect the deliberate mutilation of their own environment, coastline and countryside. Members of “green” groups must be embarrassed.
“Those who lost a family member or a friend in the Lockerbie tragedy must be incredibly incensed with Alex Salmond for releasing a murderous criminal.”
read the whole post »
Posted by YAFB on 02/13/14 at 09:35 AM
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Sister Boogie Woman Rising
Republicans are quite vexed, in this pre-election period, that they have been smeared with the dastardly War on Women rep. And who could blame them? Without getting into the nits and gnats of the history of misogyny and sexism, they certainly didn’t invent such a thing [although they did invite the Church People into their tent and, I think it’s fair to say, the Church People did have a hand in inventing it].
Be that as it may, Republicans certainly never have gone out of their way to actually help or encourage or empower women, either. And now, before the GOP has had a couple of decades to recover from the first Black president, they are being forced to mobilize against the spectral notion of a first female president.
The Republican Party is scared to death of Hillary Clinton because Hillary Clinton has “Boogie.”
Let’s let Lily Tomlin, her own self, remind us why that’s so frightening . . .
So. Let the hilarity ensue because it’s awfully hard to fight against something you can’t fathom.
read the whole post »
Posted by Bette Noir on 02/12/14 at 10:44 AM
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Countdown to World-Class Tantrum: Windbag Trump in Windfarm Fail
Hello again, Rumproasters, after what seems like a long, long period of impromptu sabbatical to allow the trauma and RSI from 2012’s electoral shenanigans to subside to a dull ache.
What brings me scrambling back to the keyboard? Why, another Donald Trump Grand Debacle, as reported by the BBC!
A legal challenge to a planned offshore wind farm which could be seen from Donald Trump’s golf resort in Aberdeenshire has been rejected.
US businessman Mr Trump claims the £230m European Offshore Wind Deployment Centre (EOWDC) would spoil the view from his golf course at Menie.
He wanted the decision by Scottish ministers to approve the project overturned.
However, the legal bid has been rejected by Lord Doherty.
Lord Doherty said he was not persuaded that it could be fairly concluded there was a real possibility of any bias in the decision-making process, or that the decision not to hold an inquiry had been unreasonable or unlawful.
The Trump Organisation said it would review the Court of Session decision.
A statement said: “Today’s decision has not altered our unwavering commitment to protect our investment in Scotland.
“We are reviewing Lord Doherty’s decision and will pursue the legal options available to us as recommended by our counsel.
“Communities world-wide continue to challenge the destructive proliferation of wind turbines and we will remain a fierce opponent at the forefront of this battle.
Over the years I’ve documented in a number of Rumproast posts Trump and his henchmen’s antics in Scotland, where his strongarming of the local authorities and attempts to celebrate his proud Scots heritage by re-enacting the Highland Clearances to build a “World-Class”
Clusterfuck Golf Course at the Menie Estate near Aberdeen have excited much ire and ridicule.
Trump began the development in 2007, there were rumors as early as December 2008 that Trump’s overambitious plans would have to be scaled back because he was feeling the same economic pinch as everyone else. Then all of a sudden in early 2012, Trump pivoted to blaming the offshore wind turbine project for the decision not to go ahead with the full development, suddenly becoming a rabidly vociferous opponent of Scotland’s extensive efforts to develop renewable energy as a resource and offering funding to windfarm opposition groups which soon all too predictably came to regret their involvement with the World-Class BeTribbled Buffoon.
As I’ve pointed out numerous times in the past, this is all a load of World-Class Self-Serving Bollocks. Never technically bankrupt himself but having left in his wake a trail of failed and bankrupt shell companies and developments, along with tearful financially distraught
mugs investors, Trump’s claims that the blight of the offshore turbine development is behind his decision are completely bogus.
None of the media seem to have joined the dots in recent times, and the Menie development’s earlier setbacks seem to have been forgotten, so I’ll risk taxing your patience and repeat myself again to draw attention to the fact that (excuse all caps) TRUMP WAS NOT GOING TO GO AHEAD WITH THE FULL MENIE DEVELOPMENT ANYWAY, EVEN WITHOUT THE EOWDC.
Here’s the Guardian back in June 2011, before he decided that he was going to exploit the situation to save face and stir up trouble in his ancestral home by blaming offshore wind turbines rather than his own overweening vanity for the project’s pruning:
Donald Trump has been forced to postpone his plan to create the “world’s greatest” golf resort in Scotland, complete with five-star hotel and luxury villas, because of the global financial crisis.
The billionaire property developer flew into Aberdeen on Monday on his latest luxury jet, a Boeing 757-200 fitted out with a master bedroom and five kitchens, to announce that his championship standard 18-hole golf course overlooking the North Sea would open for play in July next year.
... the tycoon said that the full scheme, a £750m complex featuring a luxury hotel, Trump Boulevard, a golf academy, a second course and timeshare apartments, had been bunkered by the recession.
Trump said “the world has crashed” since he first bought the Menie estate and dunes in 2005, provoking a long-running battle with local residents, councillors and environmental groups about his proposals, which has involved heavily altering the legally protected rare dunes.
read the whole post »
Posted by YAFB on 02/11/14 at 09:55 AM
Monday, February 10, 2014
Via Tengrain, here’s a great insight into the mind of the conspiracy theorist- a bunch of nutters believe that the government blanketed the South with fake snow. My favorite theory is that the faux snow, or snaux, is made up of nanobots. Here is a hilarious video from a conspiracy maven:
My favorite part of the video is when he exhorts his slack-jawed sidekick to smell the blackened snowball- the butane from the lighter is a commonly abused (“huffed”) substance.
Meanwhile, in the reality-based community, it is known that snow that is exposed to flame doesn’t melt, it sublimates- the ice transitions immediately from a solid to a gas. In the case of these videos, the snow sublimates and is blackened by carbon from the butane lighters.
Conspiracy theorists have long had serious problems understanding the water cycle. One of the longest-standing conspiracy theories posits that the condensation trails left in the wake of an airplane’s engines are a global conspiracy to achieve a nebulous, nefarious goal. Funny how simply conflating “contrails” with the made up word “chemtrails” has achieved such longevity. My go-to authority on aviation is Major Kong, a man I have had the pleasure of meeting in real life. As a former USAF and current commercial pilot, this was his terse take on chemtrails:
Yeah, like we’re going to give up valuable cargo space so we can spray chemicals.
We could put a lot of chickens where those chemical tanks would have to go.
It’s one thing when the nutters claim that the government is using a weather-smurfing machine to create storms, but it’s an entirely different stratum of wrongness when they believe that countless nanobots were dumped across a wide swath of the U.S.
Of course, I could be in on the conspiracy…
Cross-posted at my eponymous blog.
Posted by Big Bad Bald Bastard on 02/10/14 at 02:17 AM
Sunday, February 09, 2014
Lazybones . . . How You ‘Spect To Get Your Day’s Work Done?
(Let this sucker play while you read, if you please)
Sen. Roy Blunt (R-Back-of-Beyond), like many of his colleagues, would like to punch Obamacare in the nose, kick it in the balls, stomp it into the Mizzou Mud then scrape it off his Thom McAn wingtips and call it a day. Because Obamacare is making y’all lazy. SLOTHFUL! yahear?
And that’s just unAmerican:
I think any law you pass that discourages people from working can’t be a good idea. “Why would we wanna do that? How does that allow people to prepare for the time when they don’t work?
Like when they get elected to Congress? and their work schedule looks like this?
read the whole post »
Posted by Bette Noir on 02/09/14 at 01:18 PM
Saturday, February 08, 2014
GOP Rebranding Update: Wolverine Edition
Well, it’s my time of the month to take a reading on how the Grand Old Party is doing with its rebranding efforts. They’ve been at it for a little over a year now so I don’t think it unreasonable to expect some quantifiable progress.
Last month we saw a Lady Republican, of all things, delivering the Republican response to the President’s annual State of the Union address. It was a very nice roundup of all the very nice plans that the GOP has to make America wonderful again, if we all vote for them. The Lady Republican didn’t go into detail [Libruls might steal their ideas] but asked us to take it on faith—vote first, find out later.
One big plus was that the Lady Republican turned out to be a natural at “controlling the message.” She didn’t say anything stupid, obnoxious or hateful the whole time she was on-air. She didn’t actually say anything smart, attractive or inclusive, either, but I still think the GOP gets to count the speech as a great leap forward given recent past performances. Now the Lady Republican can go concentrate on her ethics investigation just like one of the guys.
read the whole post »
Posted by Bette Noir on 02/08/14 at 11:47 AM
Thursday, February 06, 2014
Boehner, Mary and Joseph!
Here’s one for the ages:
Rep. Patrick Tiberi (R-OH), a longtime ally of Boehner, summed up the Speaker’s current predicament well to The Washington Post’s Robert Costa on Wednesday . . . :
“Right now, Jesus himself couldn’t be the speaker and get 218 Republicans behind something, so I think Speaker Boehner is trying his best to come up with a plan that can get close to that. Whatever we move, there will be critics everywhere, but at the end of the day we still have to govern.”
Well, Rep. Tiberi, “at the end of the day” you’re right. So, when exactly, can we expect this “governing” to commence?
Whatever . . . all we know is that if some heathen Liberal had offered up this analogy, there’d be holy hell to pay. Nevertheless, it’s an intriguing notion—“what would Jesus do” with this Congress?
I suspect that it might start out something like that time that he drove the moneychangers from the temple court. Cleaning the place out should be the first order of business then, with what’s left, perhaps a few relevant lessons, from the greatest hits, just to remind the clueless what they’re supposed to be doing . . .
read the whole post »
Posted by Bette Noir on 02/06/14 at 04:21 PM
Tuesday, February 04, 2014
The Last Sanctuary Of The Terminally Inept*
*I have always felt that violence was the last refuge of the incompetent and empty threats the last sanctuary of the terminally inept. Neil Gaiman
Evidently the Republican Party Retreat last week did little to cure the GOP of its compulsion to punch above its weight on increasing the debt limit. GOP “leadership” are planning to spend the week winnowing through their roster of hostages so that they “get something” out of this next round of negotiations. At least someone seems to have had the presence of mind to quietly increase the term of the debt ceiling hike from the GOP-preferred 3 months to one whole year! because . . . ELECTION YEAR.
Hostages at the top of the list, this time around, appear to be either Keystone XL pipeline approval or the temporary “risk corridor” function in Obamacare. There are good explanations of how the “risk corridor” works to keep insurance premiums stable during Obamacare implementation here and here and why eliminating it is an abysmal policy choice designed to cripple the program.
read the whole post »
Posted by Bette Noir on 02/04/14 at 10:30 AM
Friday, January 31, 2014
Want A Cookie Little Girl?
Well, the Flying Monkeys of the Righteous Right have turned their laser-like focus on that insidious incubator of the RADICAL FEMINIST AGENDA!! and AGENT OF LESBIANISM!1!! the Girl Scouts of America. The FMRR became aware, back in December, during the Merry Christmas season, that the GSA had tweeted out some suggestions for Girl Scouts to think about in advance of choosing their Woman of the Year for 2013.
That list just happened to include State Sen. Wendy Davis, whom the FMRR have lovingly dubbed Abortion Barbie, and Quelle horreur! Kathleen Sebelius, loyal Obamabot and Woman Who Refuses to Cry, Resign or Otherwise Submit to Congressional Committees.
The FMRR have mulled over their options and have decided that a fitting penance for such unladylike thoughts would be to hit the little beggars and their feminista handlers in the purse. Thus it is that COOKIECOTT 2014 was born . . .
I don’t know about the rest of you Roasters but I’m not doing without my thin mints or samoas . . . think I’ll order a case of each.
Posted by Bette Noir on 01/31/14 at 08:28 AM
Thursday, January 30, 2014
One Sh*t Sandwich - Hold The Bread. Coming Right Up!
Evidently, House Republicans were so inspired by President Obama’s SOTU speech that they stayed up all night dreaming up really cool, bipartisan ways to help him achieve the goals he outlined.
Republicans really hate it when people accuse them of being a do-nothing pack of congressional losers because they have binders—they can show ‘em to you—full of really great laws that would fix so many problems if Obama would just put down his veto pen and quit being such a dictator.
So, this morning, House Republican leaders delivered a letter, to the President, promising to pull four of their favorite 2013 bills out of the circular file and toss them across the aisle and give him one more chance to be a team player, because this is an election year and nobody likes a do-nothing Congress.
Without further ado here are their offerings:
read the whole post »
Posted by Bette Noir on 01/30/14 at 04:23 PM
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
GOP SOTU Response: Talking To Myself And Feeling Old
(h/t Ban T-shirts for their inspired design above)
Well, now, I’ll bet a whole lot of women feel much better this morning after Cathy McMorris-Rodgers invited the nation to join her at her well-appointed hearth to feel the love coming from the new outreachy GOP.
Actually she didn’t do too badly, given her mission, but I have to agree with Ann Coulter for once in my life, that Republicans should ditch the voice coaches . . . whatever.
McMorris-Rodgers did pretty much what I was expecting, stopping short of changing a diaper on camera, reading Green Eggs and Ham to her six-year-old or explaining why she votes against things like VAWA, the Lily Ledbetter Act or extending unemployment benefits when her district has some of the highest unemployment rates in the state.
I have to assume that the idea of putting Rep. McMorris-Rodgers forward was to prove that far from waging a War on Women, Republicans are anxious to welcome more women into the fold. I’m not sure who masterminds such strategies but it’s obviously someone who doesn’t realize that nice, white, traditional values, supermom evangelicals already pretty much vote Republican . . .
I suppose that the rest of American women - single career women, single mothers, college students, senior women, women of color, Native American women, Latinas, poor women, lesbians, disabled women—the bulk of women, in other words, are just not that attractive to the GOP. Or, maybe they realize that they just don’t have much to offer women like that and probably never will.
read the whole post »
Posted by Bette Noir on 01/29/14 at 04:36 PM