Saturday, October 04, 2008
Rich Lowry’s Little Starbursts Stain Remover
Coming soon to a store near you…
Coming soon to a store near you…
Not falling for it.
Rich Lowry was so cockteased by Sarah Palin last night that it’s not even funny:
A very wise TV executive once told me that the key to TV is projecting through the screen. It’s one of the keys to the success of, say, a Bill O’Reilly, who comes through the screen and grabs you by the throat. Palin too projects through the screen like crazy. I’m sure I’m not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, “Hey, I think she just winked at me.” And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America. This is a quality that can’t be learned; it’s either something you have or you don’t, and man, she’s got it.
Okay, who am I kidding? It’s really fucking funny.
UPDATE: Coming soon to a store near you ... Rich Lowry’s Little Starbursts Stain Remover.
From The Ann Arbor News:
Supporters campaign in Ann Arbor, despite news that McCain is giving up on Michigan
RELATED: McCain giving up on Michigan
As they sat inside a conference room in downtown Ann Arbor Thursday afternoon, a handful of John McCain supporters were oblivious to the news swirling outside that McCain was all but conceding Michigan to rival Barack Obama.
Instead, those supporters - all Democrats who now back McCain - remained focused on how to convince voters that McCain would make the best president.
Without clicking through, guess who one of those McCain supporters was. (Answer below the fold)
Not since Cadet James Tiberius Kirk pwned his Starfleet instructors by gaming the simulated “no-win scenario” in his favor has a seemingly doomed participant avoided a humiliating exposure of incompetence as cleverly as Governor Palin did last night.
It truly was a no-win situation for Palin: As she’s amply demonstrated over the past several weeks, she doesn’t know jackshit about national affairs, foreign policy or McCain’s position on key issues. She also can’t respond coherently to basic questions. So how could she avoid a train wreck? By ignoring the questions and delivering talking points and attacks instead. And she pretty much pulled it off.
Damn, I wish such a strategy had occurred to me back when I was in college. Instead of studying for exams in dreary subjects like algebra, I could have just ignored the test questions and submitted an essay on the use of allegories as a foreshadowing device in Wuthering Heights instead. That would have showed those pointy-headed, elitist mathematics professors and their boring old numbers.
Except I would have flunked out. Luckily for Palin, debates aren’t scored objectively, and apparently, responding to the actual questions isn’t a requirement. Folksiness counts. So she did okay.
According to the snap polls I’ve seen, most viewers thought Biden won the debate. But the consensus is that Palin didn’t screw up. My sense at this point is that Palin avoided disaster but didn’t change the trajectory of the race. She made the wingnuts happy again and failed to move the center.
And it looks like the McCain campaign plans to call that good enough—Palin’s line about the mainstream media indicates to me that she’s going to finish out the remnants of the race by sticking to wingnut informercials like the Hannity and Hewitt “interviews.”
I don’t see how Palin’s preaching to the choir helps McCain pick up the independents he has to have to win the presidency. But apparently avoiding a Palin implosion is good enough for McCain. And that has to be considered a win for Obama-Biden.
*1,000 nerd points to all who knew what this was without clicking the link.
[Cross-posted at Betty Cracker]
As some of you may know, I’m a big-time bluegrass fan, dating back to my high school years when one of my best friend’s older brothers introduced me to the music of the late, great John Hartford. It warms the cockles of my heart (whatever in the hell those are) to report that bluegrass legend Dr. Ralph Stanley, who many of you may know from the O Brother, Where Art Thou? soundtrack, is starring in an absolutely charming pro-Obama radio ad that’s running in Virginia
(and maybe elsewhere). You can listen to it at TPM. I just may have to wear my big dopey straw hat with Ralph’s signature on it on November 4th for good luck. Yee haw! [hat tip to my bluegrass festival buddy Iceberg Wedge]
Our pal Robert Lanham has a new piece up about Sarah Palin at Radar. Go check it out:
Anyone who remembers the movie Bob Roberts will be familiar with Palin’s type; the pseudo populist who subverts a progressive movement and co-opts it to fit his/her own image. Yup, that’s Sarah. But the frustrating thing about the Bob Roberts and Sarah Palins of the world is this: they’re typically most successful when the institutions they’re co-opting are stagnating. And let’s face facts: feminism has been suffering an identity crisis for years, and it’s only gotten worse during the 2008 election cycle.
Also, Steve M. makes a very good point:
What I find most striking about Sarah Palin’s inability to name a Supreme Court decision other than Roe v. Wade that she disagrees with is that this would be a ridiculously easy question for a wide range of righties—not just political pros but online wingnut amateurs. Um, the banning of public-school prayer? That still gets ordinary right-wingers’ juices flowing. How about the recent eminent-domain case Kelo v. New London? That one infuriated the Freepers. Or what about the decisions that have tried to constrain the White House’s detention policies—Boumediene v. Bush, for instance? That one also had Freeper knickers in a twist. So Palin isn’t just less informed than the average VP candidate—she’s less informed than thousands of random message-board and blog devotees on the far right.
And Wonkette has rolled out a new pic of Sarah Palin as the Ice Princess that is just plain adorable.
p.s. We’ll be rolling out another one of our open threads at 8 PM ET for tonight’s VP debate, so make sure you come on by and join in the hilarity.
My hope is that Sarah Palin fails so miserably and so completely that John McCain has to stand before the nation and declare “we are all ‘Joe Six Pack’ now.”
Boogie Man will tear at your American (and allegedly forgiving) soul in ways that no other documentary has done before. As much as the tragic end of scumbag Republican strategist Lee Atwater’s life is compelling in the most push-out-the-piss kinda way, as the credits roll you’re left with a horrific and crisp vision of just how despicable and rotten Washington gamers can really be. Boogie Man also very deftly (and sometimes quietly) lays bare how unjustifiably rewarded and adulated flagrantly reckless and mean-spirited spinheads like Atwater have been by the members of our complicit, junk-hungry media.
Atwater, as some of you may know, was Karl Rove’s mentor (you know what a smoldering pile of offal he is—no need to go there). And Rove begat Steve Schmidt, the oddly-skewed baldheaded mule spawn who’s been recently seen burping up detritus in support of his paid-to-love-him guy John McCain. That’s why this doc is an important arrival now. As much as you may be relishing the recent apparent flaming destruction of the McCain-Palin campaign, after viewing this documentary, you should be concerned that Schmidt could still pull some wild, ill-conceived Atwater-style bottom-dwellerism outta his keester that will, inexplicably, click with a majority of voters and pull the gate down, once again, on what seemed like the Obvious Choice.
So, the wingnuts are going all bonkers about Gwen Ifill, the moderator of tonight’s VP debate. As it turns out, not only is Ifill affiliated with commie organization PBS and therefore predestined to be hostile to spunky, screechy-voiced, conservative moose-hunters, she’s (sotto voce) B-L-A-C-K and the author of an upcoming tome about the next generation of African American leaders, including – wait for it! – Barack Obama! She’ll make gajillions if Obama is elected.
When they’re not busy plotting how to bring down American capitalism and redistribute wingnut wealth to welfare queens, PBS types are always conspiring to rig elections for fun and profit. So Greater Wingnuttia has a pre-bate excuse to invoke in case Palin flames out in some spectacular manner.
Speaking of which, what do y’all think will happen during tonight’s debate? Will Palin reprise one of her many “moose-in-the-headlights” moments and cause all of us to spew beer and bar snacks before making mocking comments to our fellow viewers? Will she hold her own by not making a complete ass of herself? Will she score points and be declared the debate “winner”?
As my granddaddy used to say, “Damifino.” Unfortunately for me, I did not receive his equanimity via DNA, inheriting instead this soul-destroying combination of pessimism and cynicism from my maternal line, which I am passing on to my own daughter like some poisonous heirloom. For that reason, I can’t enjoy moments like this and must instead fret like a church lady at an ecstasy-fueled tweener rave party.
So until Palin opens her pie hole and disgorges an incomprehensible stew of inanity and dumb-fuck, I will worry that she’ll somehow haul McCain’s sad ole bacon out of the fire rather than revealing her vast ignorance and compelling even the drooling morons who haven’t yet made up their minds about the candidates to vote for Obama or stay the fuck home and let the folks who pay attention make the decision. What say you?
[Cross-posted at Betty Cracker]
What a contemptuous bastard. He really is losing it.
UPDATE: Compare and contrast ... watch smokin’ Joe Biden field the same question:
This morning, we noted the steady stream of independent Democratic groups hitting the Republican ticket with hefty – and sometimes pretty tough – TV ad buys.
Here’s another, this one from the National Nurses Organizing Committee/California Nurses Association. The ad goes after Palin hard for everything from Troopergate, to the rape kit controversy, to her alleged plan to ban books during her days as Wasilla mayor. Complete with a cheesy faux love song soundtrack, the spot emphasizes that the seventy-two year old McCain’s vice presidential nominee is “one heartbeat away” from the presidency. It airs this week in battleground states Ohio, Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota, Colorado, and Missouri.
Great ad and they hit on a lot of ugly (and damaging) stuff about Palin that the Obama camp has been avoiding, but is it just me or does the text run through a little too quickly? It’s fine for a replay on YouTube, but will it just wash over everyone on the BoobTube?
SOMEWHAT RELATED: I agree with Wonk about McCain’s interview with The Des Moines Register ... “What an asshole.” From the dripping-with-contempt “Really?” in the first video to the whole insipid, mean-spirited yuckiness of the last one, the Maverick came off like a full-blown dickhead.
Below you’ll find a parody of this John McCain & Sarah Palin interview transcript page at CBS News’ web site. Enjoy.