Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Consider this your monthly reminder…

...to go read Betty Cracker:

90-year-old Grandma Cracker lost her hearing several years ago, which freed my sprig of the family tree to swear like drunken sailors. But it made non-swearing communications difficult. Hearing aids didn’t make much of a difference. Even less so after my dog swallowed one of them after Grandma deposited them on the nightstand while dog-sitting. Damn. So I taught her to use the emails. And she promptly made me regret it.

Posted by Kevin K. on 06/11/08 at 07:38 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaElection '08NuttersPoliblogsPolisnark

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Doucheland

Via break the terror:

Posted by Kevin K. on 06/10/08 at 02:54 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '08St. McSameSkull HampersTelevisionYouTubidity

Monday, June 09, 2008

Politically Unsavvy Mendacious Asshats

Two PUMA (Party Unity My Ass) pity party poopers, Thuc Nguyen and Harriet Christian’s BFF Will Bower, recently made an appearance on Fox with Neil Cavuto to explain why they will not, will not, WILL NOT vote for Barack Obama in November.  This exchange had me rolling on the floor:

NEIL CAVUTO: How many do you think share your views?  I know there are eighteen million—

THUC NGUYEN: Right now?

CAVUTO:—Hillary Clinton supporters, mug’s game though it might be.  How many do you think will jump to John McCain?

NGUYEN: Well, over this weekend we had a big conference call with a bunch of groups and formed a coalition. It’s justsaynodeal.com.  And right now we have millions and millions.  They’re all coming together.

CAVUTO: Wait a minute, how many? Millions and millions couldn’t have been on the conference call, so Will, how many do you think—

NGUYEN: No, but there were about fifty.

CAVUTO: But fifty. Alright. Eighteen million. Fifty. Alright.

And this quote from Cavuto was pretty funny, too:

CAVUTO: Wow, you guys are very angry, aren’t you?

BOWER: I don’t think “angry” is a fair word.  I think I’m approaching this calmly and coolly. It’s not anger.  It’s indignation, but not anger.

CAVUTO: When you put “ass” in, like, your logo, you’re angry.

Watch it:

MORE: Behold the “millions.” Hmmm, what does this remind me of? This, too. I’m obviously not a fan of Cavuto, but I applaud his attempt to call them on their “millions” claim. CNN’s Veronica De La Cruz just took the owner of the laughably awful and amateur hcsfjm.com site at his word.

Posted by Kevin K. on 06/09/08 at 07:09 PM
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Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsNuttersSkull HampersTelevisionYouTubidity

“Wow, totally together!”

A real commercial that aired in ‘77 on Chicago’s WFLD. Thunderbird and grapefruit juice ... shake ‘em up.

Posted by Kevin K. on 06/09/08 at 07:49 AM
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Categories: FoodKnee SlappersTelevisionYouTubidity

New Yorkers, don’t forget…

Today is the last day to RSVP for this free and sure-to-be-fun event on Wednesday.

Posted by Kevin K. on 06/09/08 at 07:40 AM
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Categories: Knee SlappersNew York CityManhattanPolitics

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Finally something everyone can agree on ...

When I was interviewed last month by a writer for the The New Republic, I noted with amazement that the commenters at allegedly Democratic blogs like No Quarter were far more vicious in their attacks on Barack Obama than the denizens of rightwing blogs like Little Green Footballs.  And now, via Instaputz, comes this post at LGF:

The ‘noquarter’ blog run by Larry Johnson has been added to the blacklist for spinoff links; I won’t allow any more links to that site because it’s been proven many times over to be dishonest and untrustworthy. Unfortunately there are quite a few people who apparently have not gotten the message (I just had to delete 13 links to that pit), so it’s being automatically blocked now.

I’m not going to let LGF be used to disseminate dirty tricks and misinformation, for either side of this misbegotten election.

Not only does Charles Johnson (yes, that Charles Johnson) have more integrity than Larry Johnson, but I think he may have just outclassed Peter Daou, too.

p.s. I was kinda joking about Daou, but it always crawled up my ass that he allowed frequent links to No Quarter on HillaryHub long after NQ had devolved into a straight-up, ratfucking hate site.

Posted by Kevin K. on 06/08/08 at 02:18 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaBedwettersElection '08NuttersPoliblogsSkull Hampers

Twizzlers Is The Taste

I love Trale Lewous…

read the whole post »

Posted by Kevin K. on 06/08/08 at 06:14 AM
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Categories: FoodKnee SlappersYouTubidity

Saturday, June 07, 2008

A great and historical speech

We needed Hillary to deliver and she did in a very big way.  That was a magnificent speech. Any Obama supporter who found fault with it or feels the need to nitpick the details really needs to get as much perspective as they’ve been demanding of her supporters. She has my deep respect and unwavering gratitude. That was an extremely difficult speech to deliver and she knocked it out of the park.  Bravo.

(Video below the fold.)

read the whole post »

Posted by Kevin K. on 06/07/08 at 12:32 PM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsElection '08

Funny on so many different levels

From Secret Agent Flowbee’s Fortress of Fucknuttery (no linky for the stinky):

SusanUnPC’s foreword: I asked you to send in rants. I am publishing them now. If you don’t see your rant published, please yank my chain at susanunpc at gmail dot com (it probably got overlooked in my 968+ entries in my Inbox). I want to publish all of your rants.

Yeah, because lord knows there’s been a shortage of rants at No Quarter lately. Seriously, when was the last time they didn’t publish something you could classify as a rant? It’s just been one, long horrible Ralph Steadman illustration over there for months now.

OH WHAT THE HELL: I was just looking through some old posts that never got published and figured this line was too good (and, admittedly, tasteless) to keep hidden away…

If Secret Agent Flowbee is considered to be one of the best and brightest counterterrorism experts in the country, it’s pretty fucking amazing Al Qaeda wasn’t able to crash the USS Cole into the World Trade Center.

Thanks, you’ve been a great audience.

Posted by Kevin K. on 06/07/08 at 08:37 AM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersPoliblogsPolisnarkSkull Hampers

Friday, June 06, 2008

Three reasons, among many, why I’ll have a hard time “letting go”

Assuming Hillary handles tomorrow well, I’ll do my best to pull back, but reprehensible crap like this isn’t going to make it easy for me:

A Democratic superdelegate from New Jersey said this week he is worried that unifying the party behind Barack Obama may be difficult because the Clinton camp “has engaged in some very divisive tactics and rhetoric it should not have.”

U.S. Rep. Rob Andrews, who supported Hillary Clinton throughout the primary season, disclosed he received a phone call shortly before the April 22 Pennsylvania primary from a top member of Clinton’s organization and that the caller explicitly discussed a strategy of winning over Jewish voters by exploiting tensions between Jews and African-Americans.

“There have been signals coming out of the Clinton campaign that have racial overtones that indeed disturb me,” Andrews said at his campaign headquarters in Cherry Hill Tuesday night after he lost his bid for the Democratic U.S. Senate nomination.

“Frankly, I had a private conversation with a high-ranking person in the campaign ... that used a racial line of argument that I found very disconcerting. It was extremely disconcerting given the rank of this person. It was very disturbing.”

Andrews said the phone call came after he angered the Clinton camp by making some positive comments about Obama. He would not disclose the caller’s name because of the private nature of the conversation.

The Obama camp declined to comment. Clinton’s campaign issued an angry response to Andrews, who once was charged with lobbying other members of Congress to support her.

“Comments like these, coming so soon after Congressman Andrews’ crushing defeat, are sad and divisive,” said Clinton’s chief national spokesman, Phil Singer.

Andrews stood by his statements and said: “I would hope that all Democrats can put this divisiveness behind them. I’m glad the Clinton campaign is finally about to change its tone.” He said he made his comments only after his primary loss to Sen. Frank Lautenberg because “I didn’t want people to think I was trying to win over Obama supporters in the primary.”

And then there’s this story about James Clyburn that flew under the radar Wednesday:

read the whole post »

Posted by Kevin K. on 06/06/08 at 10:20 AM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsBarack ObamaElection '08Hillary ClintonSkull Hampers

Yes…

...I flinched several times.

Posted by Kevin K. on 06/06/08 at 08:12 AM
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The New Yorker Presents “Politickled”

There’s a great free event (with “cocktails” ... yaaaaaay!) coming up in NYC next Wednesday that I figured a few of you folks may want to attend (I’ll be there).  Our pal Robert Lanham (author of The Hipster HandbookThe Sinner’s Guide to the Evangelical Right and the vastly underrated, funnier-than-hell Food Court Druids…) will be sharing a panel with perhaps the greatest editorial cartoonist ever, David Rees of “Get Your War On” fame, and Scott Dikkers, founder and editor-in-chief of The Onion. Some guy named Andy Borowitz, who I think killed a bunch of people in the 70’s because his neighbor’s dog told him to, will be the moderator. You can get all of the details here. Get on it (and let me know if you’re going).

RELATED: Has there ever been a better and/or more prescient editorial cartoon than this one (from April 2003)? No, that’s right. There hasn’t been.

TONIGHT!!!: Rob just reminded me that Matt Taibbi will be at the Barnes & Noble on Warren St. in NYC tonight (7PM).

Posted by Kevin K. on 06/06/08 at 07:47 AM
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Categories: Knee SlappersNew York CityManhattan

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Live from Sen. Veruca Rodham Salt’s “I Want I Want I Want” Non-Concession Rally in NYC

Last night I attended Hillary Rodham Clinton’s rally-to-nowhere at Baruch College in New York City with the charming ts of Instaputz.  This is a photo essay of one of the strangest (and funniest) nights of my life. Enjoy.

image
While we were waiting in line speaking in hushed tones so that Hillary’s fans around us wouldn’t beat us to death with their big pink boxing gloves and poke out our eyes with their over-sized “REAL MEN vote Hillary” buttons, who should walk along but the slap-happy star of those cloying “Hillary in the House” videos. He was handing out invites for the “NYC premiere” of “Hillary in the White House,” which I think is the same video linked previously, but it could just be a new video of Hillary pounding on the front door of the White House yelling, “Let me in!”  The invite had his name on it, Paul Edward Blaise McClure, which is really funny because his name is as long, overwrought, fey and annoying as his latest music video.

 

image
After getting in, we proceeded down to the bunker and were happy to see that they were selling beer and wine because we needed to wash the pain away of being forced to wear big Hillary stickers by a semi-large, overly-enthusiastic young man WHO LOVED HILLARY THIIIIIIIISSSSS MUCH (he really, really, really, really does). We nabbed a few seats in the bleachers behind the podium and watched as a woman walked around the stage endlessly by herself not doing much of anything.  At first we thought she might have been secret service, but later we learned she was there to do sign language.  I guess all that time she was concentrating on how to convey “petulance” while signing, because that’s really hard to do with your hands. Also take notice in the photo of the great job Harriet Christian did duct-taping the back of the stage front.  It’s amazing the level of craftsmanship you can get from a second-class citizen in exchange for a bottle of cooking sherry and a bag of throat lozenges.

 

image
This is ts drinking beer.  I cloaked his identity because he’s not very careful about “sheathing the seed,” if ya know what I mean.  I think the crowd was chanting “Denver! Denver! Denver!” at this point, but there were so many of them emoting that our “Chappaqua! Chappaqua! Chappaqua!” chant went virtually unnoticed.  I think the woman in front of us, who kept telling her daughter to smile all night, may have heard us, though. I’d like to apologize to her for ruining her evening and for the fact that her daughter very obviously didn’t give a shit about Hillary’s grit or her determination.  That must’ve really sucked for her. Children are complicated, especially when their mothers are wiccans.

 

image
At one point a whole bunch of photographers ran over to take a picture of this woman because someone told them it was Erykah Badu, but they all got bummed out when they got closer and found out it was just Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-FL) who accidentally had a dinner napkin adhered to her head because, once again, Debbers got a little carried away with the hair spray. Oopsie! Nothing ever turns out well for Floridians.  :(

 

image
This man, who I will refer to as Gay Out-of-Towner With An Unfortunate Haircut, got really angry with a guy sitting near us, who I found out later wasn’t supporting anybody, and at one point his boyfriend had to hold him back as he yelped, “People like you are the reason I’m voting for John McCain!” I thought that was pretty funny for a whole bunch of reasons he probably wouldn’t understand and then I whisked myself away to an imaginary land where spiteful people with unfortunate haircuts didn’t have the right to vote or get within ten city blocks of me. Then I went to buy more beer.

read the whole post »

Posted by Kevin K. on 06/04/08 at 04:36 PM
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Categories: ImagesKnee SlappersPoliticsElection '08Hillary ClintonPolisnark

I got really fucking bunkered last night

While I was attending Hillary’s “I Want I Want I Want” rally last night in NYC, this didn’t even occur to me:

How fitting that, on the night Barack Obama finally claimed the Democratic nomination, Hillary Clinton delivered her non-concession speech from a concrete bunker. To reach the Baruch College gymnasium where Hillary spoke with such surprising defiance her supporters had to descend two flights below street level. The thick subterranean walls blocked out cell phone and BlackBerry signals, and no televisions were provided in the main event hall, thereby insulating Hillary’s cheering supporters (intentionally, some theorized) from the dispiriting events unfolding at the Xcel Center in Minneapolis.

[link from Maha’s “Pathologically Selfish” post which is worth reading, like, now.]

Posted by Kevin K. on 06/04/08 at 11:37 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '08Hillary ClintonPoliblogsPolisnarkTelevision

The awakening (?)

From the HillarysVoice mailing list:

Any “conservative” blogs you guys recommend?

Most are too far right for me. Redstate? Looks like it doesn’t get
many hits. I want a place I can complain about Obama and praise McCain
without getting censored.

These poor bastards really haven’t thought this through. Here’s more evidence:

Why I left the party

It’s not just the Obamanation that has made me leave my party of 25 odd years.

It’s Nancy Pelosi saying immediately on being named Speaker that Impeachment was off the table. Who cares about the constitution?

It’s about the Democrats not having the guts to stand up to Bush on war funding

It’s about Nancy Pelosi picking Hoyer over Murtha

It’s about the Democrats caving on the Patriot Act

It’s about the Democrats caving on the NSA spying on us

It’s about the Democrats not filibustering Alito (Thanks Senator Obama!)

Monday the same person wrote:

Call me a sore loser. Guess what? I am. I am not only sore, I’m angry, I’m frosted like a cake, I’m disgusted. Telling me I want to take my ball and go home because I can’t have my way. You betcha. My ball (vote) isn’t just going home with me it will be going to the polls in November and pulling the lever for Senator McCain.

Because, ya know ... oh, fuck it.  I give up.

Posted by Kevin K. on 06/04/08 at 10:49 AM
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