I can hardly wait for the next video where Gravel shoots a bottle rocket out of his ass right before running naked down the street punching random people in the face while yelling, “Fuck you, Chris Dodd!”
Yesterday’s “Count Every Sour Grape!” rally in DC: If you squint, it looks like 10,000 people.
[Please note: If you’re unfamiliar with what went down in DC yesterday, you may want to start here.]
I guess one thing I should make clear is that when I make fun of “rabid anti-Obama Hillshills,” I’m not referring to a vast majority of reasonable, well-intentioned Clinton supporters or folks who voted for her in the primaries just because they thought she was the better candidate. I’ll admit most of my friends are Obama supporters but one of my best pals from college and my younger brother are both backing Hillary and that’s perfectly fine with me. I’m referring to an exceedingly small percentage of Hillary supporters (or as this pro-Hillary Daily Kos diarist refers to them, “supporters”) who have been gorging 24/7 on a way-too-steady diet of wingnut-like-and/or-sourced, anti-Obama posts on blogs like HillaryIs44, No Quarter, MyDD and Taylor Marsh and then angrily ricocheting around the relatively minute “Krazy Klinton Korner” of the blogosphere cross-commenting (sometimes using different aliases) at such a feverish pace that they make the mostly-extinct relentless Ron Paul Revolution howler monkeys, who you couldn’t escape anywhere before the Paul blimp pulled a Hindenburgh, look like Quaalude-quaffing church mouses.
If the media did their job, they would have accurately reported that the poorly-attended rally yesterday was a clear indication of how small the “Hillary or Die” screecher subset really is instead of writing articles with wildly inaccurate titles like “Democrats Come Together To Tear Their Party in Half.” A more truthful headline would be have been “A Ridiculously Tiny Group of Delusional, Dumb-As-Dirt Dead-Enders Make Utter Fools of Themselves.” What we witnessed yesterday in DC wasn’t some massive, well-coordinated movement destined to take down the Democratic party, it was a pathetic and unpopulated cry-for-hell from an oddball smattering of attention-starved, politically-unsophisticated, teeth-gnashing lunatics. The rally was a phenomenal failure and their behavior during the meeting was embarrassing and self-defeating. The “children” in the gallery who supported Obama were on their best behavior while the “adults” who were backing Clinton sputtered, booed, yelled uncontrollably and even hissed. Here’s an example of what went down yesterday:
After months of uncertainty, the morass of the Florida Democratic primary has been resolved.
The Rules and Bylaws Committee approved a measure unanimously that would seat every delegate—pledged and superdelegates—from the Sunshine State but grant them only half a vote at the party’s national convention.
Both Alice Huffman and Harold Ickes, backers of Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (N.Y.) on the RBC, spoke in favor of the motion before it was voted on.
Huffman insisted that the vote would leave the party more united than it was when the meeting started, an assertion that was greeted by one attendee as “lipstick on a pig”.
That boorish and disrespectful “lipstick on a pig” yelp, delivered while Hillary-backer Alice Hoffman, a kind woman who was obviously and painfully digging deep within herself to graciously call for a compromise on Florida after her motion for a full seating had just been defeated, didn’t come from one of the alleged “millions” of anonymous outraged Clinton voters we’ve been hearing about for weeks, but from a member of the miniature teed-off party of over-amplified, anyone-but-Obama banshees a few of us have been shining a spotlight on for months. This poorly-placed dick-spasm came from a Hillshill who uses the alias “Mawm” and was covering the RBC meeting for the post-Kos-strike, take-ball-go-home refuge The Confluence. Here he is yesterday in all of his, ahem, “glory”:
“I keep trying to put lipstick on it, but it won’t stop jabbering.”
I’m sure if anyone had bothered to poll participants in yesterday’s “Count Every Vote or I’m Really Gonna Act Like an Asshole” rally and the ill-mannered pro-Clinton douchenozzles who gained entrance to the meeting, they would have been able to adhere a Hillshill-associated internet alias to a lot of those in attendance and found that a vast majority of yesterday’s temper-tantrummers were frequent visitors to the diminutive number of faux-Democratic, anti-Obama blogs where the shameful and scorn-worthy behavior they exhibited in public yesterday had previously only been on display in some of the most spittle-flecked and fucktarded comment threads ever to unravel in the history of the blogosphere.
These sore losers’ numbers are few, their influence is vastly overrated, their politcal acumen is virtually nonexistent, their common decency has become uncommon, and their cringe-inducing and destructive self-importance is as inexplicable as it is abhorrent. They’re this year’s “9/11 Republicans” and going forward they should be treated with the same disdain my fellow lefty bloggers used to reserve for the likes of Charles Johnson and Roger L. Simon. Some of the rabid anti-Obama online Hillshills are now waving around their way-less-than-considerable leverage and claiming that Barack supporters now have to “kiss their asses” in the interest of party unity. Let me be the first to say, without a hint of regret and a great deal of unadulterated joy, “No, motherfucker, kiss mine.”
MORE: Ummmm, “GO HARRIET”? Really? Ummmm, it’s like the Holocaust? Really? Seriously, could someone tell me why I would ever want to talk folks who are this delusional and vapid out of campaigning for McCain? Hell, give me their addresses and I’ll personally send them meticulously hand-crafted “McCain ‘08” placards for them to hit the streets with.
MORE: I guess I can just send this guy’s McCain placard c/o the Cartoon Network…
Teresa Scicconi of New York shouts her support for US Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton (D-NY) outside the Democratic National Committee Rules and Bylaws Committee meeting in Washington May 31, 2008.
As I predicted, turnout for the “Count Every Sour Grape!” protest, promised to consist of “10,000 marchers,” looks pretty low, even though the mass media folks are doing their best to make it look well-attended with low camera angles and carefully-cropped shots. I’ll post more on this debacle throughout the day.
The media is totally buying into the bullshit that the “Count Every Sour Grape!” rally in DC tomorrow is going to be a well-attended and cataclysmic political event worthy of excessive coverage. Political neophyte and professional drool cup model Cristi “Fatloss Forever” Adkins claims in the interview above that “10,000 marchers” are expected to turn out tomorrow to stomp their feet and demand that Hillary be anointed the nominee “JUST BECAUSE!!!!” Cristi also wrote a press release for the event, but unfortunately free-press-release.com converted the text to HTML so that you can’t see how many different crayon colors she used while writing it:
On August 26, 1920 Women Ended Their Suffrage & Won the Right to Vote…some of those women born before given the right to vote still live. They live in Florida; they live in Michigan; they live to have their voices heard before they no longer live…
“We march for those who cannot march for themselves. We march for those who have been… Punched when their [sic] down, told to go home and voices suppressed, betrayed by their peers, bullied out of their life’s work, fighting for the weaker who have no voice, For those whose voices need to be heard, WE MARCH.” [...]
This march is sure to generate buzz as the organizers intend to send Bologna sandwiches to the DNC rules committee to let them know that not seating Michigan and Florida is Bologna. The marchers will also send Lemon-Aid to demonstrate the sour taste left in their mouths because of the injustice in Florida and Michigan. And, their [sic] are hints of parading a live donkey as a display of the A__ __ the DNC will be should they not seat those two states.
Oh my. Thanks to Cristi I just coined a new term. That’s not a press release, that’s a mess release. What a disaster.
The title of this post is how Betty Cracker described HuffPo contributor Dr. Sylvia Welsh and after you read some of Welsh’s gibberish that Betty has excerpted, you’ll realize that description is much too kind. Aside from Tom Watson, Lance Mannion and James Wolcott, are there any pro-Hillary bloggers left who haven’t gone stark raving mad? I will never understand how the candidacy of a tepid, pandering and ineffective politician like Hillary Clinton has spawned the level of deranged, cult-like, nonsensical devotion I’ve been witnessing from some of my fellow Democrats over the last few months. For Hillary Clinton? Seriously, what the fuck?
First, I’ll apologize to you, my lovely readers, if you’ve seen these great Japanese Nic Cage commercials before. Somehow they managed to elude me until yesterday. And more importantly, I’d like to apologize in advance to my lovely wife Chris who will undoubtedly have to deal with me yelling “I love pachinko!!!” throughout the weekend and probably clean through the next one.
Is this a spot-on, over-the-top parody of the original “Hillary in the House” video or a bile-inducing, semi-over-produced tribute to it? I honestly don’t know. If it’s the former, job well done. It it’s the latter, please kill me now. I don’t want to be human anymore.
“Hillary in the House” Music Video 2008
UPDATE: They removed the original video I had posted last night and uploaded a poorer-quality version. Not sure why. In addition, they also uploaded an extended version which you can now view embedded above (warning: have knitting needles handy to jab out your eyes and eardrums). After watching the extended version, I’m pretty convinced this is not a parody. The “star” of this video seems to be that same cheesy fucktard (aka Corky St. Clinton) who led the original cloying “Hillary in the House” cringe-along. Good christ, I think Duncan Hunter had cooler supporters than Hillary does. What an embarrassment.
p.s. I didn’t notice last night that they focused on the little black kid while Corky is singing “We don’t need no bling.” Hillshills, putting the “ass” back in “classless.”
...for writing this post so I don’t have to. I had bookmarked a few articles earlier shining a spotlight on yet another case of Hillary-fueled manufactured outrage/hypocrisy and was going to write it up when I got back from hanging out in the park, but John has it pretty well covered. Plus I didn’t know about this:
The Clinton campaign handed out “I’m not bitter” stickers in North Carolina…
And if there are any Balloon Juice readers in Montana, South Dakota, or Puerto Rico, I sure would love one of those “I AM NOT AN ASSASSIN” bumperstickers or buttons the Obama campaign no doubt is handing out right now.
Yeah, just like those “Welcome to Tuzla ... Duck!” t-shirts David Alexrod was personally silkscreening and handing out en masse in the lead up to the Pennsylvania primary.
Last night at Flowbee’s Fortress of Fucknuttery, the resident mental defectives were howling and harrumphing like they always do regarding Hillary’s assassination gaffe (“If they could kill HER they would.”), but a few of them took a detour and engaged in a little Abbott & Costello routine about testicles:
Comment by jes | 2008-05-23 17:00:01
The Obamatrons, MSM and DNC have their panties in a twist while Hillary is the one with the cajones.
Wasn’t it James Carville who said that if Hillary gave Obama one of hers, then he would have two? ;-)
Comment by alibe4-Hillary | 2008-05-23 17:17:16
Or was it? If she gave him one, they each would have one.
Comment by Nicole | 2008-05-23 17:21:27
No, it was: If she gave him one, they each would have two.
Comment by yttik | 2008-05-23 18:06:15
If she gave him one, they’d both have two.
Comment by Margaret | 2008-05-23 19:43:26
Nope, it was, if she gave him one, she would still have two
Comment by jes | 2008-05-23 21:33:23
One thing we know. Hillary has three and Obama only has one.
That’s why these Obamatrons worship him as the Chosen One. He one of their kind.
Glad we cleared that up.
Remember, these guys are the adults in the Democratic party. The “Obamatrons” are the children.
Not sure if this is true (except for Cardoza switching), but if it is ... oh my:
The endorsement by US Rep. Dennis Cardoza (D-California) of Obama today sends an extremely firm message to the Clinton campaign, and not only because he was, until today, a Clinton superdelegate.
The Field has learned that Cardoza is the first of a group of at least 40 Clinton delegates, many of them from California, that through talking among themselves came to a joint decision that all of them would vote for Obama at the convention. They have informed Senator Clinton that it’s time to unite around Obama, and that they will be coming out, one or two at a time, and announcing their switch between now and the convention if Senator Clinton doesn’t do the same.
Cardoza is one of the leaders of this effort (which includes not only superdelegates, but here’s something that should set off some paranoia in Camp Clinton: there are pledged Clinton delegates in “The Cardoza 40,” too). One Field Hand reports that during a recent Cardoza fundraising event in California the effort was discussed openly in front of other Democrats. Cardoza’s announcement, today, sent the message that the effort is serious and for real.
For the record, I think pledged delegates switching before their nominee drops out is absolute bullshit and unethical, so I’m not endorsing that move nor do I hope it’s true. Not that anyone would care.
I know Al Gore has stated emphatically that he doesn’t want to run for President, but am I the only person who’s surprised that, with all of the spittle-flecked rancor brewing over this primary, there isn’t any chatter, realistic or not, about drafting Gore to be the nominee and having him save the party from itself in Denver?
UPDATE: Well, the Draft Gore site from ‘04 is still up and has been updated for ‘08. Judging from the petition, it looks like a lot of people are stopping by.