Friday, May 30, 2008

“Nuttier than a squirrel turd”

The title of this post is how Betty Cracker described HuffPo contributor Dr. Sylvia Welsh and after you read some of Welsh’s gibberish that Betty has excerpted, you’ll realize that description is much too kind. Aside from Tom Watson, Lance Mannion and James Wolcott, are there any pro-Hillary bloggers left who haven’t gone stark raving mad? I will never understand how the candidacy of a tepid, pandering and ineffective politician like Hillary Clinton has spawned the level of deranged, cult-like, nonsensical devotion I’ve been witnessing from some of my fellow Democrats over the last few months. For Hillary Clinton? Seriously, what the fuck?

Posted by Kevin K. on 05/30/08 at 08:35 AM

Nicolas Cage Loves Pachinko!

First, I’ll apologize to you, my lovely readers, if you’ve seen these great Japanese Nic Cage commercials before.  Somehow they managed to elude me until yesterday.  And more importantly, I’d like to apologize in advance to my lovely wife Chris who will undoubtedly have to deal with me yelling “I love pachinko!!!” throughout the weekend and probably clean through the next one.

read the whole post »

Posted by Kevin K. on 05/30/08 at 06:20 AM

Categories: FoodKnee SlappersSkull HampersTelevisionYouTubidity

Thursday, May 29, 2008

I’m stumped

Is this a spot-on, over-the-top parody of the original “Hillary in the House” video or a bile-inducing, semi-over-produced tribute to it?  I honestly don’t know.  If it’s the former, job well done.  It it’s the latter, please kill me now.  I don’t want to be human anymore.

“Hillary in the House” Music Video 2008

UPDATE: They removed the original video I had posted last night and uploaded a poorer-quality version. Not sure why.  In addition, they also uploaded an extended version which you can now view embedded above (warning: have knitting needles handy to jab out your eyes and eardrums). After watching the extended version, I’m pretty convinced this is not a parody. The “star” of this video seems to be that same cheesy fucktard (aka Corky St. Clinton) who led the original cloying “Hillary in the House” cringe-along. Good christ, I think Duncan Hunter had cooler supporters than Hillary does. What an embarrassment.

p.s. I didn’t notice last night that they focused on the little black kid while Corky is singing “We don’t need no bling.”  Hillshills, putting the “ass” back in “classless.”

Posted by Kevin K. on 05/29/08 at 12:16 AM

Monday, May 26, 2008

Wheelchair Werewolf

Posted by Kevin K. on 05/26/08 at 04:14 PM

Categories: Knee SlappersMoviesYouTubidity

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Thanks, John Cole…

...for writing this post so I don’t have to. I had bookmarked a few articles earlier shining a spotlight on yet another case of Hillary-fueled manufactured outrage/hypocrisy and was going to write it up when I got back from hanging out in the park, but John has it pretty well covered. Plus I didn’t know about this:

The Clinton campaign handed out “I’m not bitter” stickers in North Carolina…

As John wrote:

And if there are any Balloon Juice readers in Montana, South Dakota, or Puerto Rico, I sure would love one of those “I AM NOT AN ASSASSIN” bumperstickers or buttons the Obama campaign no doubt is handing out right now.

Yeah, just like those “Welcome to Tuzla ... Duck!” t-shirts David Alexrod was personally silkscreening and handing out en masse in the lead up to the Pennsylvania primary.

Posted by Kevin K. on 05/25/08 at 04:20 PM

“Fall Back” by Idle Warship

Posted by Kevin K. on 05/25/08 at 09:39 AM

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Hil’s on first?

Last night at Flowbee’s Fortress of Fucknuttery, the resident mental defectives were howling and harrumphing like they always do regarding Hillary’s assassination gaffe (“If they could kill HER they would.”), but a few of them took a detour and engaged in a little Abbott & Costello routine about testicles:

Comment by jes | 2008-05-23 17:00:01

The Obamatrons, MSM and DNC have their panties in a twist while Hillary is the one with the cajones.

Wasn’t it James Carville who said that if Hillary gave Obama one of hers, then he would have two? ;-)

Comment by alibe4-Hillary | 2008-05-23 17:17:16

Or was it? If she gave him one, they each would have one.

Comment by Nicole | 2008-05-23 17:21:27

No, it was: If she gave him one, they each would have two.

Comment by yttik | 2008-05-23 18:06:15

If she gave him one, they’d both have two.

Comment by Margaret | 2008-05-23 19:43:26

Nope, it was, if she gave him one, she would still have two

Comment by jes | 2008-05-23 21:33:23

One thing we know. Hillary has three and Obama only has one.

That’s why these Obamatrons worship him as the Chosen One. He one of their kind.

Glad we cleared that up.

Remember, these guys are the adults in the Democratic party.  The “Obamatrons” are the children.

Posted by Kevin K. on 05/24/08 at 03:36 PM

You know that phrase “I threw up in my mouth a little”?

Well, after reading the title of this MyHRC rec-listed diary…

As Long As That Pantsuit is On and Working, We Are Too

...I threw up in my mouth a lot.

And I’m not even sure what it means.  How does a pantsuit work?

Please. Make. It. Stop.



Posted by Kevin K. on 05/24/08 at 01:46 PM

Friday, May 23, 2008

Hillary Clinton: Putting the ass…

...back in assassination.

I’d write more but I promised myself I was going to decompress tonight.  Fill-in a lot of profanity, outrage and denunciations here:


Posted by Kevin K. on 05/23/08 at 05:51 PM

Categories: NewsPoliticsBarack ObamaElection '08Hillary ClintonSkull Hampers

Forty Clinton Delegates Switching to Obama?

Not sure if this is true (except for Cardoza switching), but if it is ... oh my:

The endorsement by US Rep. Dennis Cardoza (D-California) of Obama today sends an extremely firm message to the Clinton campaign, and not only because he was, until today, a Clinton superdelegate.

The Field has learned that Cardoza is the first of a group of at least 40 Clinton delegates, many of them from California, that through talking among themselves came to a joint decision that all of them would vote for Obama at the convention. They have informed Senator Clinton that it’s time to unite around Obama, and that they will be coming out, one or two at a time, and announcing their switch between now and the convention if Senator Clinton doesn’t do the same.

Cardoza is one of the leaders of this effort (which includes not only superdelegates, but here’s something that should set off some paranoia in Camp Clinton: there are pledged Clinton delegates in “The Cardoza 40,” too). One Field Hand reports that during a recent Cardoza fundraising event in California the effort was discussed openly in front of other Democrats. Cardoza’s announcement, today, sent the message that the effort is serious and for real.

For the record, I think pledged delegates switching before their nominee drops out is absolute bullshit and unethical, so I’m not endorsing that move nor do I hope it’s true.  Not that anyone would care.

Posted by Kevin K. on 05/23/08 at 03:18 PM

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaElection '08Hillary Clinton

Draft Gore?

I know Al Gore has stated emphatically that he doesn’t want to run for President, but am I the only person who’s surprised that, with all of the spittle-flecked rancor brewing over this primary, there isn’t any chatter, realistic or not, about drafting Gore to be the nominee and having him save the party from itself in Denver?


UPDATE: Well, the Draft Gore site from ‘04 is still up and has been updated for ‘08. Judging from the petition, it looks like a lot of people are stopping by.

Posted by Kevin K. on 05/23/08 at 01:24 PM

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaElection '08Hillary Clinton

Take-Ball-Go-Homers & Florida: The Truth About Cat Ladies and Frauds

Florida’s Senate Democratic Leader Steve Geller (left), profile in porridge

Now that the Hillshills will be elevating (good fucking luck with that)  the thoroughly disingenuous Steve “Better Get a Bucket” Geller to sainthood for filing a lawsuit against the DNC, this video needs to be embedded on every pro-Obama blog today:

More from the creators at The Jed Report.

UPDATE: Floridian Betty Cracker has a great post up about this debacle here.



Posted by Kevin K. on 05/23/08 at 09:16 AM

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Quote of the Day: TBogg

The one sentence that explains it all:

Hillary Clinton is like a mother standing on a bridge threatening to throw her baby in the river unless she is named Mother of the Year.

Posted by Kevin K. on 05/22/08 at 04:00 PM

The Onion: Better than a crystal ball

Apologies in advance if this has been passed around a lot already.  First time I’ve seen it. [via MyHRC]

Posted by Kevin K. on 05/22/08 at 03:24 PM

Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsElection '08Hillary ClintonPolisnark

NY Governor and Clinton SD David Paterson on Hillary: “We’re starting to see a little desperation.”

It looks like a Hillary supporter and super delegate is having second thoughts:

Gov. David Paterson, who is right now being interviewed by WAMC’s Alan Chartock and taking calls from listeners on “Vox Pop,” just disagreed sharply with his presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton, on her last-ditch efforts to seat the Florida and Michigan delegations. [...]

“I would say at this point we’re starting to see a little desperation on the part of the woman who I support and I’ll support until whatever time she makes a different determination,” Paterson said, adding: “I thought she was the best candidate and I thought she had the best chance of winning.”

Paterson, who is a DNC committee member and was present at the meeting when a vote was taken to penalize Florida and Michigan for moving their respective primaries ahead of the traditional starting contests in New Hampshire and Iowa, said he thought that decision was “a little unfair” and he “didn’t agree with it at the time.”

But he also noted “nobody was screaming” after that decision was made, although some people were unhappy with it, adding:

“There was a process. I thought at the time everybody agreed to it. I didn’t hear any objections from the candidates…So I would think the Democratic National Committee would leave it where it is.”

On Clinton’s claims regarding the popular vote and likening the fight to set the Florida and Michigan delegates to the civil rights movement, Paterson said:

“You have to rule out the undecideds in Michigan. You have to assume she won 100 percent to nothing in Michigan. I don’t think anybody in their right mind would do that, nor would they see it as a civil rights issue.”

And, yes, you’re right.  Only women can be desperate. Cue the “SEXISM!” shrieks and spittle-flecked anti-Paterson comments all over the Hillarysphere. Points in comments for finding the best of ‘em.  Bonus points for finding Hillshill comments that disparage Paterson for being black and blind.

Posted by Kevin K. on 05/22/08 at 03:02 PM

Categories: New York CityNewsPoliticsBarack ObamaElection '08Hillary Clinton

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