Rumper Room

An endless open thread for registered members of Rumproast.  Newest comments appear at the top (150 per page), so read from the bottom if you need to catch up.

Strange, he stole that from Chrissie Hynde.

*looks up from the gutter*

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. [Wilde]

*looks up from the gutter*

I’m always happy to bring down the curve.

Yeah, really.

Thanks for raising the fucking bar, Zipperupus. Nothing I enjoy more than having to work harder to make myself seem smart in here.

I don’t know who this Zipper person is with their hitting a home run on the first fucking pitch they see in the bigs or returning the opening kickoff for a TD in their first goddamn game in the NFL but they had better fucking cut it out.

That is all.

And happy fucking labor day you union-loving nation-destroying condescending elitist fucknozzles.

Strange: That was winful.

Lambchop=Goldberg.

W00t! I made a rumpmeme.

Dear Zipperupus:

You have no fucking idea what I’m going through, or how unfair it is that a lot of mostly interchangeable science professionals like me are being predictably axed by bottom-line-driven Big Pharma companies who manufacture all their drugs in Puerto Rico to exploit cheap overhead and avoid paying taxes, and probably can’t distinguish me from a Chinese Graduate Student or an automated gas chromatograph in the dark. 

It doesn’t matter that this is an inevitable consequence of globalization, exacerbated by a Worldwide Economic Correction that Obama didn’t cause, and which is largely indifferent to small-bore national policy tweaks such as tax credit incentives, timely or otherwise.

What you also don’t get is that this is MY LIFE, which has historically been more aggressively victimized and dramatically impacted by God, Chance, Politics, Historical Forces and The Patriarchy than ANY OTHER HUMAN BEING’S LIFE EVER, including yours…and at least a couple of the selfish, dimwitted cretins who comment on my site.     

By challenging Me and the Quality of My Suffering, you just reveal your ignorance, and it’s not pretty. You will have to live with the consequences. Enjoy!

Oh, and good luck making Saran Wrap out of horse turds, you chemically-illiterate fuck.

Regards,

Riverchucky

I also wanted to welcome zipperupus. The Rumper Room is one of the coolest hangs on the inter tubes. Just be warned that the competition to say the wittiest thing thus far on a given day is fierce. The prize is in the effort.

Also. Lambchop=Goldberg.

Welcome to the Rumper Room, Zipperupus!

RD is an interesting example of Homo Narcissusmus En Flagrante. A rare species that can thrive for many years wallowing in its own manure. RD is exceptional for it’s peculiar keening yet monotonous wail that appears to serve two functions. First, the bursts of white noise contain an intricate variation of self-identifying communication reflexive in nature. For example, by resting a newspaper or magazine in front of RD, it will repeat back details of the story while inserting the words “I, me, and mine” along with personal anecdotes placed at random intervals. RD appears unable to exercise restraint in this behavior, thus it is likely instinctive or passed on behaviorally during the larval stage.

Second, the frequency and pitch of its wail kill off competing species and ideas and attracting an homogenous community of lesser fauna. Any competitive frequencies that manage to infiltrate it’s wall of self-oriented noise causes a feedback loop of defensive shrieking that is often fatal to its development. Therefore, if confronted by this species on your property, it is recommended that you apply a fresh layer of novelty and critical thinking to your landscape and RD will quickly turn on itself and expire.

I was trying to find the thread where RD jumps on a woman for suggesting that stay-at-home Moms deserve a little celebration too: how dare she suggest that working mothers are inferior, you know what, RD always found the stay-at-home moms in her neighborhood had nothing interesting to say, and other proudly demented projections (likely thought balloon for those local moms: “oh lord, it’s her again~~I’m just going to talk baby poop until she goes away”).

Couldn’t come up with it, but what a wealth of snippy superiority mingled with clueless overprivilege overall. It’s an impressive body of work.

What, the woman who ripped Michelle Obama for wearing expensive sneakers but won’t give up her Nikes despite their being manufactured in a sweatshop?

It should be evident by now that RD is the living embodiment in microcosm of American Exceptionalism™.

Amazing the number of people who stop talking to RD because of her lowly labratitude.

Equally amazing: The number of assholes who think people don’t like them due to some other factor besides the fact that they’re assholes.

Riverchucky easily is one of the top 10 creepiest people I’ve ever read on-line

What, the woman who ripped Michelle Obama for wearing expensive sneakers but won’t give up her Nikes despite their being manufactured in a sweatshop?

alphaBeach, on January 10, 2010 at 4:36 pm Said:
I don’t mean to prolong this tangent, but…..as an IT contractor who worked at Nike, I can tell you they are the worst re: the cruel corporate environment HK’s post described. Permanent staff belittle contractors in all sorts of subtle and blatant ways, making every day a mindf*ck if you’re not in the “in” crowd of the uber-cool staff. And, middle management gets a big kick out of out; it’s entertainment to them.

riverdaughter, on January 10, 2010 at 7:28 pm Said:
Soooo, I should let my knees get ruined?

Because Nikes have magical qualities not possessed by any other shoe on earth. They are the Hillary Clinton of running shoes.

I’m worried that, without research chemists, there will never be any more “new” products.

I don’t even want to imagine a future where every time I buy something, it will be just like the one I already have.

I’m a little foggy on this one. Wasn’t Executive Coach one of the regulars on Executive Cheers?

I’ve been hanging out in various segments of the blogosphere since the build-up to the Iraq Invasion, 2002 or so. Riverchucky easily is one of the top 10 creepiest people I’ve ever read on-line. I read the confluence for the same reason I liked to watch the Addams Family when I was a kid. Relative to RD life seems rational.

I’m just suggesting that it may not have been the lab rat thing that turned off Executive Coach.

BTW, met an executive coach at dinner last night. After she found out I was just a labrat, she stopped talking to me over her beet salad with blue cheese and candied pecans.

Amazing the number of people who stop talking to RD because of her lowly labratitude.

We had a research scientist at the Census. Oddly, people don’t back away from her, but then, she’s never flecked anybody’s candied walnuts with rantspew.

research chemist

Yeah, I believe that one. Same way I believe my favorite barkeep really is a “doctor of mixology.”

No one understands how hard it is to be Riverdaughter, and how disrespected and undervalued research chemists are.

God damn that Obama for taking a second run at extending the Research Tax Credit! It’s too little, too late…and anyone who disagrees with RD is a dumb dooty-head who can go DIAF.

Happy birthday, John Cage!

Had to stop by here for a dose of sanity and owls.

Blair shooed out of Dublin.

About 200 demonstrators chanted that Blair had “blood on his hands” as the former prime minister arrived at a Dublin bookstore. Shoes, eggs and other projectiles were thrown toward Blair as he emerged from a car, but did not hit him. A flip-flop could be seen lying on the roof of a BMW in Blair’s motorcade.

Then it’s official: Owls rock!

Hehehe… Speaking of owls, I have this as my desktop background at work.

Oblomova - This is awesome. And many of the little fellas provide handy autoresponses to PUMoid crap.

F’rinstance.

Shorter basement angel:

Yes, Lambchop you are so right that the more offensive part of Obama’s “bitter and clinging” remarks was the cling part because it denied the bitter clingers their moral agency.  Now let me tell you how the Obots cling to their delusions.

Doy.

I don’t know about all y’all, but I could use a giggle, and this provided it.

Owls rock.

Shorter Correnteweiner: How do we convince these stupid stuck up fraidy-cat libtards that we know everything and they should do what we tell them?

“Why do you have so little faith in the ability of the masses of American people to sniff out crazy flim flam bullshit?”

The fact that Correntewhiner’s corner of the internons isn’t covered in cobwebs is a big fucking hint.

Shorter CW: “Obama is Teh Boosh!”

I have nothing but contempt for these people.  Obama’s certainly no leftie (by the standards I’m used to, he’s a moderate Tory) but he’s sure as shit better for America and the world than any of the lunatics on the modern American right.  And the most annoying thing, really, is that HRC is basically Obama in whiteface and a pantsuit, and yet her spectre still haunts CW as the Platonic ideal for the Presidency.

Fuck them, they are all idiots, especially Goldchop/Lambberg.  Their only talent, as a group, is to provide one with the perfect means of describing a waste of oxygen through the medium of pissing and moaning and keyboard “activism”.  In fact, fuck them sideways, with a rusty rake and no lube.

Loved the Pomplamoose!

Hate the CW :-(

Though, I had an off-hand thought about Whine de Corrente. It’s probably true that acceptance by an on-line gang of ne’er do wells probably is better than believing that you’re just hopelessly wrong.  I mean, I don’t think anyone can deal with the notion of being hopelessly wrong.  Even if that’s the truth.

“Why do you have so little faith in the ability of the masses of American people to sniff out crazy flim flam bullshit?”

Like the flim-flam bullshit that the CorrenteWhiners were single-payer activists long before the Dusky-Hued One became president?

The author or the CW post though this would be a helpful rejoinder: “Why do you have so little faith in the ability of the masses of American people to sniff out crazy flim flam bullshit?”

Um, the entire history of the USA? The entire history of the human race?

Kevin’s posted Pomplamoose videos here before, here’s their new-ish collaboration with Ben Folds & Nick Hornby.

Correnteans: Threatening to hold their breath until they turn blue since 2008. (And probably long before.)

Correnteans are noodling tactful ways to convince Creative Class Libs why they should stop defending Obama and admit that Correnteans aren’t totally full of shit.

I think we should encourage this outreach by pretending to believe them. Then, once we have their confidence, we can tear up their gardens and steal their stuff.

Today’s PUMA Wisdom: The Democratic Party is dead, and penises are to blame.

Clinton’s Oval Office decor looked like the waiting room in an Arkansas brothel.

There’s a lot of defensive coloration there.  It screams, “I do NOT hate America! Look, I’ve wrapped the furniture in flags!”

PUMAs, still focused like a laser on the shit that matters:

Zee 09.01.10 at 6:50 pm

  BCL, the only thing I noticed in the rerun clip was how sick-looking Zero’s purple zombie lips were compared to the gorgeous pink lips of the AA newscaster on CNN. What the hell is wrong with him? Something circulatory?

Stay safe, AltHippo.

We’re being advised to “shelter in-place.” List of demands here.

My office is diagonally across from the main entrance. Snipers have been in place for the last hour.

AltHippo—Christ, I just saw the news. Catching up now. Don’t be a hero.

For those who are following, the shooting/hostage situation at the Discovery building is happening right outside of my window. All of downtown Silver Spring center is closed.  Except for the hot dog vendor.

For anyone who hasn’t yet discovered the Guardian‘s deliciously snarky US ex-pat columnist Hadley Freeman—who achieved the previously considered impossible and made me a regular reader about fashion with her hilariously irreverent take on the industry, not to mention her übercatty fashion Q & As, but who regularly veers into current affairs—I commend today’s offering, “How great is the automated lacing system?”

Between her and Charlie Brooker—still on good form—I might just make it through the week.

Great article on Caribou Barbie here.

Other Thought for Today: Clinton’s Oval Office decor looked like the waiting room in an Arkansas brothel.

Today’s Thought: Hillary Clinton still not President, nor ever likely to be.

I think she should run in 2012, trounce Obama, if he even bothers running, then quit halfway through her term before taking to Twitter and Facebook to carp constantly and ineffectually about her erstwhile VP, now POTUS, President Sarah Palin.

That’ll show ‘em.

Today’s Thought: Hillary Clinton still not President, nor ever likely to be.

PUMAs knew all along that Obama was going to be a terrible President.

That is all. As you were.

Lambchop=Goldberg.  Yes, of course that makes sense.  It could even work on a t-shirt.

The left definitely needs their version of Sarah Palin. But, first, can we have our own Jonah Goldberg?

I thought that was Lambchop; I mean, he does claim to be the über-Leftist, arbiter of all things wot are progressive.

Here’s the Gervais clip from last night. It still makes me laugh very, very hard.

Seriously, Ricky Gervais should host every awards show, ever. Hell, get him signed up now for the 2012 presidential debates. God knows he’ll be better than Luke Russert. (You just KNOW Baby Boy Coattails will have a slot for those.) And Gervais would loosen everybody up by handing out beer.

Bucky Gunts!

I don’t know if any of you watched the Emmys (don’t judge me!), but Ricky Gervais got off maybe the best one-liner in awards show history. He was giving a few jabs to celebrities who had been caught behaving badly this year, and of course got around to Mel Gibson. So he said something like “Oh, I’ll leave Mel alone. He’s been through a rough time. [pause] Not as rough as the Jews.”

The left definitely needs their version of Sarah Palin. But, first, can we have our own Jonah Goldberg?  (Minds boggles pondering what that would be like.)

Better though, if the right could get their own version of Rachel Maddow. Or, for that matter, Bob Somerby.

Everything would be different if Hillary were President.

I read on some of the PUMA blogs that if she tries hard enough, some people think Hillary could one day be the Left’s Sarah Palin.

Everything would be different if Hillary were President.

Thanks for asking.

Are you going?

Probably not. My current plans are to try to avoid the TP people for the weekend.  The DC4Democracy folks are participating in the MLK march, which I admire, but not enough to get off my ass.

Urgh. I haz a sick.  Nobody read this, you might catch it.

Alt, I was going to email you to see if you were going to the “event,” but work/life got in the way. Are you going?

We’re being invaded (Metro alert):

ID 73186) Disruption at All Stations. Delays due to crowding at Shady Grove, Glenmont, Vienna, New Carrollton, Largo, Franconia, Branch Ave, Greenbelt & Huntington.

Note that Glenmont is on the “wrong side” of the Red line. Other than that, they seem to be following instructions.

Eeeeeek!

Still, I see the emerging strategy is to blog their way into power.

It’s worked so well for Taylor Marsh!

Speaking of cheese - feminism FAIL from mad-amab.  They just can’t shake off that Puma smell, can they?

Wow. That’s my first sighting of Fuzzybeargville since around election day. I haven’t missed him.

Did anyone ever manage to come up with convincing evidence that he’s actually a Taggles sockpuppet? If he is, I guess madmadamab isn’t in on the joke.

Still, I see the emerging strategy is to blog their way into power. Have they looked at the Alexa or Quantcast stats for the PUMA blogs recently?!

@Mike—Two years later, and they’re still trying to figure out whether to vote Green Party or mount a protest write-in campaign for Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Wow.

Here’s an open letter to awesome Balkan club music ... and babies!

Speaking of cheese - feminism FAIL from mad-amab.  They just can’t shake off that Puma smell, can they?

Cheesecake

And cupcakes. Don’t forget the cupcakes.

Probaly not, but she gets lots of cookies, and maybe a few free t-shirts.

So does Mimi get to keep the rest of the $18 million? I mean, I assume each of the “18 million strong” sent her a buck, just as they did to erase Hillary’s campaign debt.

Thanks, Betty. I totally forgot to check on that race.

PUMA is 0-for-2 so far this cycle.

In case anyone was wondering, PUMAPAC’s candidate for Miami-Dade County Commission, Mimi Planas, got utterly crushed in the primary.

The way things are going with the anti-Muslim sentiment these days I would think any enterprising copy editor might want to get a jump on the gun and translate Krystallnacht into Arabic.

Strange, I think DWP will end up in the Guinness Book of World Records  under the category of “slowest death by fit of apoplexy.”

Darragh, come back. Your blog needs you:

DancesWithPumas 08.26.10 at 1:28 pm

  Fuck Mohammed.
  Fuck Sharia Law.
  Fuck Patriarchal religions.

  Happy birthday to youuuuu…
  Happy birthday to youuuuu…
  Happy birthday everyone except Mahommed the Pervert,
  Happy birthday to youuuuu!

Tom, didn’t The Advocate mock Clay Aiken’s “Yes, I’m Gay” cover on People with “Yes, We Know”? Same thing with Mehlman.

The Cordoba Murderer? Spare me, Pam.

Oh—and fuck “Victory Mosque,” too. Park51 is more properly the “Peep-Show Row Prayer Center.”

Apprently the only person surprised by Mehlman’s announcement is Mehlman.

You know who’s the real victim of the cabbie slasher, right? Pogrom Pam over at Atlas Sharts:

Can you imagine if the would-be Cordoba murderer got away? They would be hanging us in the public square as we speak.

Mehlman is gay? GTFO! Next you’ll be telling me Ron Christie is gay.

Also, have the Freepers figured out that Michael Steele has a touch of melanin yet?

Strange, I dated a guy from the South Side whose mother was truly appalled when she found out the Village People were gay.

@Oblomova—I spit up my beer when I read that on FreeRepublic. On what planet is that news?

So who’s shocked, shocked to hear that Ken Mehlman is gay?

I think some of us self-employed types might be able to appreciate this.

Bah, and now my big camping/kayaking trip in September got cancelled because the state park was just closed.

Mood most foul today… Somebody bring me one of these anti-Muslim people to eviscerate.

I don’t check NAG Central, but I imagine Amy “Vote Va-Jay-Jay, Any Va-Jay-Jay” Siskind will still attempt to spin Sarah Palin’s vindictiveness toward Lisa Murkowski and her support for a virulently anti-choice male into a victory for Real Feminists Everywhere.

I just wish they could make Yoga for the teabaggers, those motherfuckers really need some help in relaxation techniques.

I would just like to interject this .... Ms. Nordegren, going through “hell” is not analagous to your billionaire husband cheating on you. You weren’t the victim of long-time abuse, you were publicly embarrassed because your former husband was a philanderer. If hell means falling back onto a coupla hundred mill to break the fall, well, let’s just say hell wasn’t all it was cracked up to be in the first place.

Len, the asshole who won the GOP gubernatorial race here in FL yesterday (Rick Scott) was running a commercial devoted entirely to denouncing the not-mosque. And it’s not like we don’t have big fucking problems in FL, what with the oil spill, 14% unemployment rate, collapsed real estate market, devastated tourism industry, etc.

But no, a community center on private property in a city 800 miles away from FL was a key issue in the race. These people are out of their goddamned minds.

And not more than an hour ago I saw a “no ground zero mosque” bumper sticker. In Washington for farks sake.

I’ve never seen naked hatred like this before.

It’s a really bizarre and horrifying story, Len. It looks like the cabbie will be okay, thank goodness.

I’m sure the crime won’t give a moment’s pause to the irresponsible asshole politicians who are making political hay of the not-mosque controversy. Damn them.

Sorry, Humboldt, just been really busy.

That stabbing has me in a black, black mood today.

I picked this up from Len, who is obviously too fucking cool to hang out in the clubhouse anymore. Fucking elitist.

Yeah, well, she’s got a long way to go to prove it to me.

This is how we know, Strange. (Sorry, dude, but you asked!)

How do we know that someone named “Taylor” is a woman?

Allan, I was just gonna point that out.

Sink will look like Mr. Moderate (and, yes, I know Ms. Sink is a woman, but I also call Meryl Streep an actor)

And MS. Streep calls you “Who?”
I call you “A PUMA Twatwaffle.”

@ Allan—gyad, what a ninny! There’s no shame in not knowing Alex Sink is a woman—unless you position yourself as an expert on the basis of no evidence whatsoever and hold forth on topics you clearly know nothing about. That’s what frosts my cookies about Marsh.