Friday, January 18, 2008

The entire Tom Cruise Scientology award footage

I’m sure by now most of you have seen the video of Tom Cruise’s mindfuckerrific ode to Scientology that’s leaked onto the web (part 2 of 6 in the YouTube player below), but there’s a lot more footage from the award ceremony and accompanying crazy available.  It’s the longest blowjob Tom Cruise ever got in his life and it all ends with lusty “hip hip hoorays” directed at an oversized portrait of L. Ron Hubbard.  Watch it all before the litigious Scientologists get it yanked off of YouTube.

UPDATE: Oh well, that didn’t last long.  All of the videos but the well known one have been pulled and this message has been added to the censored pages: “This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Church of Scientology International.” See below the fold for options on downloading AVI files of the full awards ceremony.

PROBLEM CORRECTED: All six pieces available for viewing again below.

read the whole post »

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/18/08 at 01:36 PM
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Categories: Knee SlappersRelijunYouTubidity

Departmentstore Santas—“At the Medieval Castle Nineteen 100-Year Lifetimes Since”

Departmentstore Santas -- At the Medieval Castle Nineteen 100-year Lifetimes Since

If you’ve ever enjoyed the DIY sounds of early Beck, Sebadoh, the Microphones or pretty much anything on the K records label, you really need to hear the Departmentstore Santas’ first and only record At the Medieval Castle Nineteen 100-year Lifetimes Since. Only 500 vinyl copies were pressed in 1984 and the leader of the group, Joseph D’angelo has steadfastly refused to allow anyone to rerelease it as a CD, causing it to fetch ridiculous prices on eBay and through dealers.  I was first introduced to the record when the music director at our college station—I was assistant music director at the time—scored it in an impulse buy at Cutler’s Records in New Haven, CT. It quickly became a station favorite.  Unfortunately, by the time I made it down to Cutler’s it was long gone and so for many, many years all I had in my possession was a badly worn cassette of the record, which inexplicably (and cruelly) excluded a few of the tracks.  A few years ago my pal Tom from the Major Stars, who’s as obsessed with this record as I am, hooked me up with a vinyl rip CD of Medieval and I listened to it repeatedly for weeks on end, falling in love with it all over again.  It’s moody, charming, eerie, sloppy, joyous, haunting, funny and everything in between.  There are certain albums like Exile on Main St. and The Basement Tapes that exude an overall aural aura that elevates them well past the strength of their individual songs and Medieval Castle is one of those albums. You can sample one of the tracks (“Photo Album of Baby”) here and read about how Camper Van Beethoven loved the Santas, but I highly encourage you to download the whole album (an excellent rip in MP3 format) courtesy of the fine folks at Mutant Sounds before the RapidShare download expires.  It’s the last of the four download options that work now, so I’d run if I were you.

MORE: Review at Siltblog.

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/18/08 at 10:10 AM
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Categories: MusicMP3/Music DownloadsMusic Reviews

Snopes told me the Iraq War Resolution was a lie

Here’s a doozy from our new go-to gal for TEH KR@ZEES!!?!, Dr. Sanitary:

Don’t tie the next President’s hands, because, you know, there’s a good chance (s)he’s gonna be Democrat. At least that’s the NY Times thinks. I wonder why they don’t seem to believe its [sic] a good idea—when they and the Democrats have been doing exactly that for the last 7 years?

Exactly what country has she been living in for the past seven years? I am speechless. I am without speech.

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/18/08 at 08:43 AM
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Categories: PoliticsPoliblogsPolisnark

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Ho hum

I’m suffering from blogger’s blog and can’t find anything current I’m interested in to blog about. The primary season has already taken its toll on me and we’re only three states into it (four if you count Wyoming, but let’s not). Every word uttered by the candidates or their subordinates is getting over-parsed by the media and the blogosneer is echo-chambering all of it to death. Today I decided to catch up on the woefully unheralded Sundance documentary series Nimrod Nation instead of hunting and pecking and sighing through Google News to find something worthy of you fine folks. It was a wise choice.

I’ll be back tomorrow with all sorts of shrillity for your enjoyment, but until then please enjoy the vocal stylings of Bill O’Loofah:

BONUS DISCUSSION POINT: Should I go see Cloverfield this weekend at the bargain matinĂ©e since my wife is away and she’d rather be dragged through Fred Thompson’s unwashed ass crack than watch it or should I just assume it’s a festering load of MTVapidness and spend my time finally seeing if the freeze-dried hard drive voodoo works?

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/17/08 at 05:54 PM
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Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsElection '08PoliblogsYouTubidity

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Reason #534 why I don’t want to have kids

(via Missing the Moon)

OF COURSE: There’s already a blog dedicated to him. And it looks like they were filming kiddy porn at the party, too.

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/16/08 at 08:50 AM
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Categories: Knee SlappersTelevisionYouTubidity

Stuck on terrified

Roger L. Magoo boils it all down:

While watching the endless pundit blather on TV tonight after the Republican Michigan Primary and Democratic Nevada Debate and reading the various opinion meisters commentaries online, I had one of those rare zen moments of simplicity. It all comes down to a simple question:

Who would you like to be in the White House if Pakistan fell to al Qaeda and the Islamists gained control of its nuclear arsenal?

Answer that question and you will know your candidate. All the rest, as they say, is commentary.

Maybe I’ve been missing something, but hasn’t Roger’s whole political viewpoint been limited to variances of this “rare” zen moment of simplicity since 9/11? I’m not quite sure why he felt the need to share.

SOMEWHAT RELATED: Another one-issue blogger (TEH TERRAH!!!) proves why she should stick to one issue:

What has the Republican Party come to? With all the socialism-lite being bandied about here in Michigan; all the empty promises glibly being made—how are these guys any different from the feckless Democrats who got us into this economic mess to begin with?

I blame Jimmy Carter.

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/16/08 at 05:37 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersElection '08PoliblogsPolisnark

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Operation Change for the Better

(hat tip Johnny the Rod)

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/15/08 at 11:21 AM
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Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsPolisnarkWar In ErrorYouTubidity

Keen political observation of the day

John McCain says “my friend(s)” way too much.

That concludes today’s keen political observation.

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/15/08 at 09:24 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '08

Monday, January 14, 2008

Can I ask a stupid question?

With all of the consultants, advisers, strategists, etc. working for the Democrats right now, can’t one of them come up with a way to take this “the surge is working and the Dems don’t want to admit it!” meme away from the Republicans? It’s about all they have right now and they’re fitfully hanging off of it like deranged squirrel monkeys and the media is lapping it up.  I know it’ll piss off some of the more rabid elements of the anti-war movement, but can’t Dems think of a strategically sound way of pointing out that if it wasn’t for their electoral wins in ‘06 chances are pretty good we’d still be burdened with Donald “Dunderhead” Rumsfeld, who pretty much everyone, except for the most rabid dead-enders, has admitted was a colossal failure? There would be no Robert Gates.  There would be no General Petraeus.  There would be no reduction in our military fatalities.  There would be no surge.  And if they want to see continued “success” (or what’s interpreted as success) in Iraq and an eventual withdrawal from this War in Error, they have to elect a Democratic president and vastly increase the number of Dems in Congress.

It seems fairly simple to me.  Or am I missing something?

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/14/08 at 10:00 AM
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Categories: PoliticsEditorialsElection '08War In Error

Sunday, January 13, 2008

It’s official: Jessica Simspon is now the most hated person in Dallas*

Congrats to the New York Giants, whose secondary was held together by duct tape, for beating Dallas tonight to advance to the NFC championships against Green Bay.  As a newly-flipped New York Jets fan (I finally decided to bail on the Cardinals—long story), it’s been impossible for me to sit through an entire NFL game this season, but I watched this entire game and it reminded me why I used to be a huge football fan.  A really great, nail-biting struggle, plus now I’ll definitely have someone to root for over the Patriots in the Super Bowl (yes, I’m already writing the Chargers off). Dagnabit, that was fun.

* Yes, she wasn’t at the game, but that doesn’t mean their fans still won’t find a way to blame her.  It had nothing to do with Romo becoming completely fucktarded when he was forced out of the pocket or that his receivers dropped several easy (and potentially lethal) passes.

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/13/08 at 08:06 PM
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Categories: Sports

The Sunday Selector: January 13th, 2008

Negativland— The Greatest Taste Around

  • DON’T MAKE ME KILL THIS KITTEN: TS from Instaputz, who has been a good friend of Rumproast, is entering sponsoring a team entered in a local Scrabble tournament to benefit Dave Eggers’ wonderful 826NYC nonprofit org. I donated some scratch to the organization last year and now I’m doing it again to back up my pal TS. It’s a great cause, so if you have enjoyed Rumproast (and/or Instaputz), why don’t you do me a favor and throw some cash 826NYC’s way via TS.
  • JAMES BROWN—LIVE IN ZAIRE: I break out in a hot sweat just thinking about this boot. Recorded in ‘74 prior to the Ali vs. Foreman “Rumble in the Jungle,” Live in Zaire sounds amazing and captures the spirit of the moment like few other live recordings do. If you’ve got an ass, you need this.
  • THINGS DO LOOK AWFUL COLD: Digby takes a quick gander at the political leanings of the 18-25 year-old group in a resent Pew study and it’s good news for the Democrats.
  • FLY OCEANIC AIR:  ABC’s new online viral campaign to promote the 4th season of Lost is, well, pretty damn impressive.  If you’re a fan of the show (I’m a late-bloomer) and haven’t booked your flight yet, get on board.

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/13/08 at 02:25 PM
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Saturday, January 12, 2008

New Yorkers really like Hillary.  Rudy, not so much.

Since this is a New York blog, here are the latest state primary poll results for you:

Dems:
56% Hillary Clinton
29% Barack Obama
 8% John Edwards

Repubs:
32% Rudy Giuliani
29% John McCain
12% Mike Huckabee
 7% Mitt Romney
 6% Fred Thompson
 3% Ron Paul

Quick thoughts: Unless Hillary stumbles horribly, she is unstoppable here (but I guess we all knew that).  Obama’s only real play is to go for picking up as many delegates as he can.  McCain probably got a good bounce out of New Hampshire in this poll, but if Giuliani doesn’t perform well in Florida, don’t be surprised if McCain pulls off an upset in New York.  I’m kind of surprised Huckabee polled as well as he did and somewhat less surprised at how poorly Romney polled.  And, hey, we don’t have enough nutjobs in NY to boost Ron Paul’s numbers?  I figured he would have finished above Thompson at the very least.

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/12/08 at 10:27 AM
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Friday, January 11, 2008

Son of Chris Matthews is a loathsome douchebag

My Chris Matthews post is still getting a lot of traffic, so I just added some new evidence of Matthews’ douchebaggery that you’ve all got to see.

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/11/08 at 01:19 PM
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Flurries Accomplished

From Reuters:

Snow fell on Baghdad on Friday for the first time in memory, and delighted residents declared it an omen of peace.

“It is the first time we’ve seen snow in Baghdad,” said 60-year-old Hassan Zahar. “We’ve seen sleet before, but never snow. I looked at the faces of all the people, they were astonished,” he said.

“A few minutes ago, I was covered with snowflakes. In my hair, on my shoulders. I invite all the people to enjoy peace, because the snow means peace,” he said.

Traffic policeman Murtadha Fadhil, huddling under a balcony to keep dry, declared the snow “a new sign of the new Iraq.”

“It’s a sign of hope. We hope Iraqis will purify their hearts and politicians will work for the prosperity of all Iraqis.”

The streets of the capital were largely empty as big, thick, wet flakes fell on Friday morning, a weekend day in Iraq. The temperature hovered around freezing and the snow mostly melted into grey puddles when it hit the ground.

But it was still lovely, said Mohanned Rahim, a baker: “This snow will bring pleasure to the people of Iraq. It’s beautiful!”

Geez, if it’s that simple to achieve peace in Iraq, shouldn’t we start shoveling some of that cold hard cash that’s been going to Halliburton over to the fine folks at Snow Makers? Someone get Gates on the phone. Our new slogan should be: “As the Iraqis make snow angels, we will stand down.”

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/11/08 at 10:55 AM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsPolisnarkWar In Error

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis

Zach plants Michael Cera (Superbad, Juno, Arrested Development) between two ferns. Very funny (and just a tad creepy).

SOMEWHAT RELATED: The premise is a little cheesy but the animation “Juno & Iggy - The Mixtape,” promoted at the end of the above video, has its moments.

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/11/08 at 10:32 AM
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