Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Cookin’ with Coolio

I’m about to teach yo’ ass how to cook.” (careful@work)

I wish that someone at the Food Network would push Guy Fieri (aka “The Most Annoying Sunglass-Tanned Shithead on Television”) down an elevator shaft and let Coolio take over Diners, Drive-ins and Dives.

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/13/08 at 05:25 AM
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Categories: FoodKnee SlappersMusicTelevisionYouTubidity

Jeff Gordon: NASCAR’s Hillary Clinton

Geepers, if Hillshills think the MSM is tough on Hillary, let her try spending a day in Jeff Gordon’s, errrrrrr,  jumpsuit.  Look at the questions from “fans” that TIME recently hurled at him:

    How does it feel to go from the kid to the old man on the tour? What’s it like to hear people booing you? Will having Dale Earnhardt Jr. as a teammate cut down on the number of bottles and cans thrown at you when you win at Talladega this year? If Dale Earnhardt Jr. is in the lead for another win at Daytona, would you bump him and take out your team member? Why is it that some parts of the country support you and others don’t? Your wife is taller than you. Has that ever made you self-conscious?

 

 

 

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/13/08 at 04:53 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '08Hillary ClintonSports

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Sweet Virginia

I had a terrible and annoying and endless day at work (which still isn’t over and I have to be on a 7:15am train tomorrow), so this made me very happy ... GObama!

From Howard “So Fucking” Fineman:

Looking closely at the NBC exit polls from Virginia, I see numbers that will make delightful reading for the Barack Obama campaign—and a cause for deep concern in John McCain’s camp. Obama, the figures show, is expanding the demographic reach of his surging Democratic candidacy, while McCain is hemmed in by his increasingly glaring failure to win over conservatives and evangelical Christians.

With a large turnout among Democrats and independents (anyone can vote in any primary in Virginia), Obama scored smashing victories over Hillary Clinton among groups with whom he needed to show strength. Everybody knows he has the African-American vote locked up tight, as well as young people, single men and affluent, well-educated voters. But the other winning percentages in Virginia are the news Tuesday night, and they are pretty powerful. According to the NBC exit polls, Obama carried:

—women: 58 percent
—white men: 55 percent
—latino: 55 percent
—60 years old and older: 52 percent
—those with incomes under $30,000: 68 percent
—independents: 67 percent
—Roman Catholics: 52 percent

More here.

Mushy need some huggums? She no like the giddy.

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/12/08 at 09:23 PM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsBarack ObamaElection '08

Monday, February 11, 2008

The “Gonna Be Wars” Music Video

I swear to St. Maverick, I came up with this idea the minute I saw the “Yes We Can” music video, but unfortunately I have no musical talent, no video skills and no funny hats…

(via Fables of the Reconstruction)

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/11/08 at 01:01 PM
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The Podhoretz Method

Powerline Book of the Year award
“And the Powerline ‘Book of the Year’ award goes to…”

Earlier we cited how Jeffrey Goldberg poked fun at Norman “Please Bomb Iran So I Can Get Blood Flowing to My Loins Again” Podhoretz in his recent (and excellent) article in The Atlantic. Well, now The New York Sun has come to the defense of that doddering old tool by drooling out what has to be the dumbest political cockup unveiled so far this year .... The Podhoretz Method:

Norman Podhoretz, the neoconservative sage, will be honored tonight at a dinner in Manhattan, where his “World War IV: The Long Struggle Against Islamofascism,” will be given the “Book of the Year” award by Powerline.

[...]

[A} kerfuffle has been sputtering on the World Wide Web over a question Mr. Podhoretz asked in respect of the Kurds. Mr. Podhoretz asked the question five years ago at a banquet in New York honoring Robert L. Bartley of the Wall Street Journal, Bernard Lewis of Princeton, and Jeffrey Goldberg, then of the New Yorker. Mr. Goldberg, a marvelous reporter, was being saluted for a dispatch from Kurdistan that had helped light the way for American entry into the Battle of Iraq. Mr. Goldberg had just come in from Northern Iraq and spoke about Kurdistan. In a tour d’horizon of the Middle East in the January/February number of the Atlantic, Mr. Goldberg related that after the event, Mr. Podhoretz asked him, “What’s a Kurd, anyway?” Mr. Podhoretz, in Mr. Goldberg’s account, “seemed authentically bewildered.” As it happens, we were either in the same or a similar conversation with Mr. Podhoretz at the same banquet, and we took him not as being ignorant of the Kurdish question; after all, Commentary during his years as editor in chief contained plenty of references to Kurdistan. We took him to be curious as to how Mr. Goldberg would answer a question of ethnography that has never been resolved.

Basic questions are what one might call the Podhoretz Method, and we predict that generations from now, journalists will study his knack for — his insistence on — pressing the simplest seeming, most basic questions as if each were fresh and open to new implications. The Podhoretz Method is one for our moment, too, what with our country at a crossroads and in the midst of a presidential election that for the first time in decades appears it will involve neither a presidential nor vice presidential incumbent. It may well shape up as a contest between, on the one hand, the Republican who, in Senator McCain, has been most determined to stick with the fight and most outspoken in warning of the consequences of retreat and, on the other hand, a Democratic nominee, in Senators Clinton or Obama, who either regrets going into the Battle of Iraq or opposed it from the start. It is a time when, more than ever, we need sages like Norman Podhoretz to ask basic questions, and deliver basic answers, which no doubt explains why so many — including Secretary of State Kissinger and Mark Steyn — will be crowding into the Four Seasons as Mr. Podhoretz is honored this evening.

Generations from now journalists will appreciate Podhoretz’s ability to ask basic questions and deliver basic answers?  That’s really what they think? Could they possibly be that fucking dumb (or be cocky enough to think that we are)?

Let’s test the Podhoretz Method:

read the whole post »

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/11/08 at 11:14 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersEditorialsElection '08NuttersWar In ErrorSkull Hampers

RIP, Roy Scheider

Roy died yesterday at the age of seventy-five. I know everyone will remember him as Police Chief Martin Brody, but he’ll always be Buddy to me.

(Bonus car chase—and spoiler—below the fold)

read the whole post »

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/11/08 at 06:47 AM
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Categories: MoviesMovie NewsYouTubidity

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Hillary Clinton Light Bulb Joke

Q: How many Hillary Clinton supporters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Misogynist!
 

read the whole post »

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/10/08 at 06:28 PM
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Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsElection '08Hillary Clinton

The Sunday Selector: February 10th, 2008

Monks—“Boys Are Boys and Girls Are Choice” (live—1965)

  • NEXT UP FOR THE DEMOCRATS: CIVIL WAR: The NY Times’ Frank Rich takes the Clinton Machine to task over their “thick deck of race cards.”
  • TO MY GREAT CHAGRIN: The eagerly-awaited (in my house, at least) world premiere of the documentary To My Great Chagrin: The Unbelievable Story of Brother Theodore comes to MOMA this Wednesday, February 13th (also playing on March 1st). He was a complex, brilliant and vastly underrated performance artist and you can view some of his pitch-perfect and hysterical ravings in a video compilation we posted here back in September.
  • OBAMA MESSIAH COMPLEX? OR INTENTIONAL IGNORANCE?: Thudfactor takes on the increasingly irrational Hillshill Larry Johnson and he drops to the ground with a loud “thud.”
  • FUERZABRUTA: Friday I took my lovely wife Chris to see Fuerzabruta, the new spectacle from the creators of De La Guarda, for her birthday at the Daryl Roth Theatre and was totally blown away by it.  I enjoyed De La Guarda, but thought it was a little over-hyped and found myself wishing it would come to an end about 45-minutes into it.  Fuerzabruta, on the other hand, I never wanted to end, noticing at several points during the performance that my face was smeared with a thoroughly ridiculous shit-eating grin that only a child can accommodate without feeling like a complete tool. As an added bonus, I was selected by one of the Fuerzabruta “dancers” to join her on a metal platform and dance in front of hundreds of people before having an oversized, exploding paper cinderblock dropped on our heads. According to Chris the crowd was cheering me on (I inserted several of my death-defying robot maneuvers into my routine) and afterwards the dancer came over and gave me a big thumbs up when she found me back in the crowd. If you’re a New Yorker, I highly recommend checking this show out.  If the $72 price tag is too steep for you, they sell $25 rush tix at the box office two hours before each performance.

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/10/08 at 10:09 AM
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Friday, February 08, 2008

Larry Johnson: Stepin Fuckhead

Larry Johnson
Step one: Place bowl on head.

Rabid anti-Obama Hillshill Larry Johnson, who fretted Wednesday about Barack’s Super Duper Black Force Field,  isn’t even trying to hide it anymore:

Oh, we loves us some Bama!

As someone wrote in the comments:

Who is writing this stuff? Don Imus?

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/08/08 at 06:06 AM
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Thursday, February 07, 2008

Unintentionally Funny Headline of the Day

From The Boston Globe:

Romney squandered a quality brand

Didn’t they mean “Romney’s a square and quantitatively bland”?

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/07/08 at 08:29 PM
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Categories: PoliticsEditorialsElection '08

This morning…

...I watched last night’s Project Runway instead of blogging.

Because that’s how I roll.

(Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/07/08 at 10:19 AM
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Categories: Television

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Conan, Stewart and Colbert: The Huckabrawl

Conan O’Brien, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert duke it out over who “made” Mike Huckabee.

If embed isn’t working, direct link here.

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/06/08 at 08:55 AM
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Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsElection '08TelevisionYouTubidity

GObama!

I went to bed hearing Obama was ahead in Tuesday’s delegate count and I woke up to the exact opposite. I’m grumpy and I’ve got a long, sure-to-be annoying day at work ahead of me. If Ricki Lieberman, who keeps spamming me (after two polite requests to be removed from her mailing list) with crazeeeee-colored, goo-laced pro-Hillary emails (”

Decision making

:

With thanks to Tina Turner - She’s the best, Simply Better than All the Rest…

”), sends me another “GO HILLARY!!!” email today I hope she really enjoys the stills from the “2 Girls 1 Cup” video she’s going to find clogging up her Gmail account.

On a more serious note, I think Obama’s still in it, but he’s got to have nearly everything go his way in the upcoming primaries and caucuses to overcome Hillary’s super delegate lead (and don’t forget her surefire shameless attempt to seat her Michigan and Florida delegates). If not, say hello to President McCain. I’ll post more info as I find it.

MORE: Good christ, do I loathe Hillshills.

JUST ON MSNBC: Chuck Todd just said that Hillary is currently up by 70 delegates, including committed super delegates.  That spells good news for Obama in the next couple of rounds of voting where he’s sure to substantially whittle away at her lead, but he’s got to pull off a March 4th win in Texas or Ohio if he doesn’t want Hillary to lock this up.

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/06/08 at 08:07 AM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsBarack ObamaElection '08Hillary Clinton

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

“Wiener poopie”

It’s Super Tuesday, so let’s focus on what’s important ... weiner poopie.

(Hat tip Jake M.)

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/05/08 at 06:29 PM
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Categories: Knee SlappersNewsYouTubidity

Goodbye, Bobby

In typically weird form, Bobby Knight, the winningest men’s coach in college basketball history, has resigned as coach of Texas Tech, effective immediately. Say what you want about the guy (and a lot of people have), but he sure was entertaining.  And Season on the Brink is still my favorite sports book (by far) of all-time. Highly recommended.

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/05/08 at 07:42 AM
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Categories: NewsSports

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