Friday, March 27, 2009

Sotto Crapo

I know there’s tons of competition, but this just may be the dumbest thing ever aired on Fox News…

Just so you know, when Franzese’s saying “dem” he means “them,” not “Democrat.” And when he says Timothy “Timmy Two Times” Geitner is the underboss (please, stop giggling, this is serious), he clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about because everyone knows the sotto capo is Joe “Joey Baloney” Biden. And how could they not talk about Rahm “Five Foot Fury” Emmanuel, the obvious consigliere? That’s just bullshit. [via Wonkette]

UPDATE: Okay, maybe this is dumbest thing ever aired on Fox News.  I give up.

MORE: An offer you can’t refuse ... assign mafia names to other Obama administration officials (and whatever other politicians you feel like) in the comments.

Posted by Kevin K. on 03/27/09 at 05:20 AM

Thursday, March 26, 2009

A Special Request

Would every dipshit who is chastising Barack Obama for using teleprompters please stop using computers of any kind and also revert to only listening to music on eight-track tapes, calling people on rotary telephones, and withdrawing cash from banks during business hours from actual human beings.  Do that for a solid two months.  No cheating.  And then when you’re through, do us all a favor and hurl yourself in front of an oncoming bus.

Thank you.

Posted by Kevin K. on 03/26/09 at 03:23 PM

Categories: MessylaneousPoliticsBarack ObamaElection '08Skull Hampers

“It’s All Strategic”

Michael Steele doesn’t rule out a run at the presidency.  FirstRead at MSNBC reports that he’s waiting for that knowing wink from God that the time is right.  In the meantime all of his actions are strategically planned to test the waters.

Umm, including having a dust-up with Rush Limbaugh resulting in your performing the Republican version of the bow and scrape mea culpa?  Yes even that.

Steele also told CNN that his dust-up with (and later apology to) Rush Limbaugh was planned and “strategic.” Said Steele: “So if I do something, there’s a reason for it… It may look like a mistake, a gaffe. There is a rationale, there is a logic behind it.” More: “It helps me understand my position on the chess board. It helps me understand, where, you know, the enemy camp is and where those who are inside the tent are… It’s all strategic.”

Michael Steele.  Bringing self delusion to dizzying new heights.  (Oh, and God, when you nudge that door open for Sarah don’t forget to give Michael his little winkie too.  We Democrats gotta stick together.)

Posted by marindenver on 03/26/09 at 09:05 AM

Categories: PoliticsNuttersPolisnark

“The Taj Mahal of consciousness reforming political mathematics”

Somewhere along the way I missed this horrendous mindfuck…

It features images of a hair metal band, a Campbell soup can, Will Bower, and, near the end, a planet with a nipple. It’s good (bad?) enough as a standalone, but the main reason I’m posting it is to highlight a hilarious comment recently left on the video’s page that broke two golden rules in one fell swoop:

  1. Comments on YouTube are uniformly terrible and should be avoided like the plague.
  2. Any comment that includes some derivative of the fake word “bwahahahahaha” is not worth reading ... ever.

The commenter (irksomekitty) transcribed some of the text from the video…

“The PUMA movement was thought of as a bunch of disgruntled voters when in reality, it was the Taj Mahal of consciousness reforming political mathematics.”

...and then wrote the following:

Bwah hahahaha! Do these asshats realize the Taj Mahal is a TOMB?!?

I’m going to be laughing about that one for days.  irksomekitty, wherever you are, I salute you.

Posted by Kevin K. on 03/26/09 at 08:19 AM

Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsPUMAsSkull HampersYouTubidity

Things Overheard in Our Apartment #4832

“Hey, you know the good thing about not going to the gym this morning?”

“No, what’s that?”

“The fact that we didn’t go to the gym this morning.”

read the whole post »

Posted by Kevin K. on 03/26/09 at 08:15 AM

Categories: ImagesMessylaneous

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Quote of the Day: TS

From Instaputz:

In fact, I’m willing to entertain the possibility that Hell does exist, if for no other reason than that Rod [Dreher] will need a place to go when he dies and I don’t want him in Brooklyn.

Go forth and read.

Posted by Kevin K. on 03/25/09 at 12:52 PM

Categories: PoliticsEditorialsNuttersPolisnarkRelijun

A demonstration of the importance of a stiff upper lip

On the one hand I can almost sorta kinda understand why Mr. DeSantis in a Knot is pissed. And in the grand scheme of things, giving his entire bonus to some as yet unnamed cause is a nice gesture (unless the donation “directly to organizations that are helping people who are suffering from the global downturn” means a series of shell companies he’s running from some of the guest rooms in his house).

However, he’s an Olympic-caliber WATB and what I get from his tantrum resignation letter is the image of a cringing self-centered prick who squeals like a stuck pig whenever he feels he isn’t being treated with all the respect, care and love that is his by right.* So even if he is just a nice guy who pulled himself up by his bootstraps and wound up in the wrong place at the wrong time, I would still like to give him a smack. Not a hard smack, just a short, sharp, smack to stop the whining for five seconds already (via the New York Times):

I have the utmost respect for the civic duty that you are now performing at A.I.G. You are as blameless for these credit default swap losses as I am. You answered your country’s call and you are taking a tremendous beating for it.**

But you also are aware that most of the employees of your financial products unit*** had nothing to do with the large losses. And I am disappointed and frustrated over your lack of support for us. I and many others in the unit**** feel betrayed that you failed to stand up for us in the face of untrue and unfair accusations from certain members of Congress last Wednesday and from the press over our retention payments, and that you didn’t defend us against the baseless and reckless comments made by the attorneys general of New York and Connecticut.

There’s more, so much more. Just remember, he won’t feel it if you give your monitor a short hard jab.

read the whole post »

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 03/25/09 at 12:43 PM


My funny neighbors


Wed Mar 25, 2009 11:44 am EST    
I heard that there was a fire at the dry cleaners on 9th st and 8th ave this morning. Lots of fire trucks and ambulances. I know this is where they’re also setting up to film the Nicholas Cage movie tonight and tomorrow. I wonder if they film equipment or cables started the fire? Or how this will affect their filming. Anyone have more info on this?

Wed Mar 25, 2009 11:45 am EST
if it keeps nick cage from making another movie it could be seen as a blessing.

SIDE NOTE: Is my lovely wife Chris the only person who’s driven crazy by Cage’s lack of sideburns over the past several years?  I may have to go track down his trailer and plead with him to grow them back.

Posted by Kevin K. on 03/25/09 at 10:59 AM

Categories: Knee SlappersMoviesMovie NewsNew York CityBrooklyn

The Dirty Garage

“The most independent movie ever made.”

Posted by Kevin K. on 03/25/09 at 10:22 AM

Categories: Knee SlappersMoviesYouTubidity

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Gingi Edmonds: Ghoulish freakazoid

One of the great things about being an atheist is that you don’t have to kowtow to some mean-ass god who would smite innocent children to punish their grandparents. Of course, you don’t have to be an atheist to enjoy freedom from such an asshole of a deity: Millions of sane Christians and adherents of other religions are also capable of compassion and humility and attribute these traits to their higher power.

And then there are ghoulish freakazoids like Gingi Edmonds, people who imagine that they’re playing a starring role in some spiritual drama featuring a vengeful god who strikes down young families to teach the survivors a lesson.

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 03/24/09 at 11:34 PM

Categories: PoliticsNuttersRelijun

Orly Saves Humanity


Today, Dr. Orly Taitz, Esq; or as nicknamed by our volunteer Judith, our Lady of Liberty!, was in Washington DC with WorldNetDaily’s Joseph Farah.

While still airborne en route to D.C., Orly fended off another alien attack using her mesmeric electro-ray death stare alone. Now on to Washington!

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 03/24/09 at 10:41 PM

Mika Brzzzzzzzezzzzzzzinski

The women of The View discuss sending Morning Joe‘s Mika Brzezinski a vibrator, but I hope they realize she’s already got a butt plug...

p.s.: Yeah, that’s the best I got. Pathetic, right? Collect your refund at the door.

Posted by Kevin K. on 03/24/09 at 02:52 PM

Categories: PoliticsOur Stupid MediaTelevisionYouTubidity

Oh geez, I don’t know…

What in the hell should I write about?  Totally suffering blogger’s block. Suggestions appreciated in the comments.

Here’s a picture of Goofy gnawing on a small child’s head to tide you over.

Posted by Kevin K. on 03/24/09 at 11:28 AM

Categories: MessylaneousRumproast Related

Monday, March 23, 2009

Frank calls a tool a tool

Frank on equal marriage rights and the Supreme Court:

“I wouldn’t want it to go to the United States Supreme Court now because that homophobe Antonin Scalia has too many votes on this current court.”


You can view the interview here. Warning: Rat rapists and Scalias abound in the comments.


Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 03/23/09 at 08:52 PM


Michael Wolff Is a Terrible Bore

Before Vanity Fair‘s resident Dr. Evil wrote the following about Barack Obama...

The guy just doesn’t know what to say. He can’t connect. Emotions are here, he’s over there. He can’t get the words to match the situation.

This began, I’d argue, from the first moment. He punted on the inaugural. Everybody ran around like crazy trying to praise it because if Barack Obama couldn’t give a speech then what?

But now, at week 11, we’re face-to-face with the reality, the man can’t talk worth a damn. [...]

He’s cold; he’s prickly; he’s uncomfortable; he’s not funny; and he’s getting awfully tedious.

...he really should have watched a video of himself speaking before clicking the submit button.

Posted by Kevin K. on 03/23/09 at 01:49 PM

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