Thursday, November 26, 2009

This Thanksgiving, Don’t Forget to Ask for Extra Halperins

We can make the funny Photoshopz, too! Just like Mark Halperin! And they will be drenched in festive holiday semen! (slightly NSFW):

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Posted by Kevin K. on 11/26/09 at 09:12 AM
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Categories: FoodImagesKnee SlappersPoliticsOur Stupid Media

This is not an endorsement of meat-eating, hi-top fades, or late-period Robin Williams

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 11/26/09 at 08:47 AM
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Categories: FoodKnee SlappersYouTubidity

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

What’s Cooking for Thanksgiving?

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Tomorrow is the big day!  If you’re cooking I’m sure you’ve probably already started.  Hampered though I am by a broken ankle, I nevertheless put together a cranberry relish and a little later, with my daughter’s help, will be making our must-have roasted butternut squash soup.  Luckily my kids are good cooks so they will be doing the bulk of the heavy cooking this year.  We’re going with a relatively simple meal of familiar family favorites which will also include herb seasoned turkey roasted on the big covered grill out back (temp. for tomorrow predicted at 60 degrees!), classic bread stuffing, garlic mashed potatoes, Waldorf salad and green bean casserole made with homemade mushroom cream sauce (no canned soup recipes in my house!).  For dessert my son is whipping up his to-die-for pumpkin cheesecake to be topped with dollops of sour cream sweetened with a little brown sugar.  Yum, yum!

Tell us what you’re doing.  Are you cooking?  Going out?  Headed to relatives?  Looking forward to it?  Or dreading it?  (Admittedly the fact that certain relatives stopped speaking to us some time ago and therefore we feel no incentive to invite them has made our holiday that much brighter. ;-) )

Regardless I’m sure your holiday couldn’t be bleaker than this family’s.  I’m thinking now she might have been envisioning Levi being fed into those cones.

And here’s a little holiday music to cook by.

Happy Turkey Day, everyone!

Posted by marindenver on 11/25/09 at 04:20 PM
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Categories: FoodMessylaneousPoliticsNuttersSarah Palin

Pat Robertson on “Salah Parin”—“This is One Gorgeous Cover”

OK, this 700 Club David Brody interview with Sarah Palin is run-for-your-life scary right out of the gate. Significantly, though, it morphs into unintentional humor at precisely 7:00, when Pat Robertson lamely praises Going Rogue‘s cover (rather than its content or author), and co-host Terry Meeuwsen echoes the thoughts of one-handed FreeRepublic posters everywhere with the observation that it’s time to “get past the junk to the stuff that matters.”

Bonus points to Pat for mangling Sarah’s name at the end. My guess is he’s a Pawlenty man.

*UPDATE* “Salah Parin” has her own Facebook page, apparently targeting similarly-Spoonerized fans.

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Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 11/25/09 at 03:04 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah PalinOur Stupid MediaYouTubidity

No Palin/Beck 2012 ticket: Glenn Beck will not “take back seat to a chick.”

Well, there goes major-league teabagger *fwap* material. I’m guessing all of those wingnuts who uttered the word “sexism” for the first time in their lives this week after seeing the Newsweek cover will be all over Beck for this comment, right? Right!?! [hat tip commenter LTMidnight]

UPDATE: Sarah Palin was asked about a Palin/Beck ticket this morning on FOX & Freepers and she was far less dismissive of the idea (occurs at about the 2:00 mark):

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Posted by Kevin K. on 11/25/09 at 08:35 AM
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By popular demand, a pupdate

Pre-Thanksgiving begging:

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Mug shots:

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Trampling the shrubbery (watch for the propeller tail demonstration at the end):

That is all.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/25/09 at 03:43 AM
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Categories: CrittersYouTubidity

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Yes She Can (*Snort*)

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Over at the Washington Post Matthew Dowd is speculating (and SERIOUSLY, srsly!) that our Sarah, Caribou Barbie, breather in of autumn bouquets that combine everything small-town America with rugged splashes of the Last Frontier, has a real, actual, true, honest-to-goodness, did I say “actual”?, Shot at the Presidency.

Yes.  That one.  That presidency.  In 2012, no less.

Admittedly his *theory* relies on some not necessarily reliable assumptions about approval polls (at least according to Nate Silver.)

Even more to the point, his little idea also requires Sarah to make a sea change, so to speak, in the very fundamentals of her nature and the way in which she operates.

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Posted by marindenver on 11/24/09 at 04:39 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah PalinOur Stupid Media

A Contest Made for Roasters.  Are You Up to the Challenge?

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Slate has announced a contest obviously conceived and written with us in mind - Write Like Sarah Palin!  Slate explains:

What is the single worst sentence in Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue? According to Slate’s Going Rogue index, it comes on Page 102: “As the soles of my shoes hit the soft ground, I pushed past the tall cottonwood trees in a euphoric cadence, and meandered through willow branches that the moose munched on.” Michiko Kakutani of the New York Times didn’t have to read past the first paragraph for her nomination: “I breathed in an autumn bouquet that combined everything small-town America with rugged splashes of the Last Frontier.”

These sentences have the markings of what might be called the high Palin style (her writing, as opposed to her speeches): multiple references to local flora and fauna, heavy use of PSAT vocabulary, slightly defensive tone, difficult-to-parse meaning.

Do you think you can write like Sarah Palin? If so, we want to hear from you. The goal is to write a sentence that could be mistaken for one from her book. Keep it to a single sentence of fewer than 150 words and send your entry to writelikepalin@gmail.com by Wednesday. We’ll publish our favorites later in the week.

Go and do the needful* troops and report your results back here in comments.  Obviously, after this and the Weblog Awards, 2009 will be remembered as the year of the Rumproast.

*In honor of our hosting the Indian Prime Minister and his wife, I have shared a common Indian phrase used frequently by my co-workers in Bangalore.

Posted by gimmeabreak on 11/24/09 at 12:17 PM
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Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsNuttersSarah Palin

Quote of the (Yester)day

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From DaveNoon at Lawyers, Guns and Money:

It’s a good thing that Palin has her unintentional comedy career to fall back on.

Go read for context. Take the SADDEST. RIMSHOT. EVER. with you before you go.

Posted by Kevin K. on 11/24/09 at 09:32 AM
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Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsNuttersSarah PalinTelevision

UR DOIN IT RONG II

One of the really cool things about being a mole in The Sisterhood of Mommy Patriots™ is the exposure to fine art. The image below is WAY better than “GOP Presidents Jigsaw Puzzle.

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If you go to the site and mouse over each figure, there’s a pop-up explanation of its symbolic meaning.

Lord knows that’s necessary, because having a US Marine, Madonna and child figures, a preacher, a farmer, etc., on the right hand of blue-eyed Caucasian Jesus basking in His holy light while an activist Supreme Court Justice, a professor, a Hollywood porn dude, a liberal she-reporter, and, oh yeah, SATAN! languishing at His left hand with their backs turned is pretty subtle for us non-artsy-fartsy types.

The only mildly puzzling categorization is the placement of the pregnant woman with the ostentatiously demonic on the wrong side of Jeebus. I guess she’ll just have to stand in the Lake of Fire Express line until the artist is sure she won’t abort her snowflake baby! Tough luck for you, lady.

Ha ha, just kidding—in the pop-up attached to the preggers lady, the artist helpfully notes that the woman “represents hope” since she’s “pointing at the mother with the handicap [sic] child and is saying to herself, ‘I want to keep my baby.’”

In that case, the artist needs to paint a Nancy Pelosi figure over the pregnant lady and transfer the original figure to the good side. (Maybe I’ll run that idea up the MinuteMom flagpole and see who salutes.)

I think my favorite pop-up explanation was the one associated with the iconic, bespectacled school teacher figure next to the US Marine:

The value of qualified, trained and hard working teachers in teaching the youth of America cannot be underestimated.

What a moving tribute to the artist’s many fine English teachers, who possibly also count Amy Siskind among their pupils!

Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/24/09 at 07:38 AM
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Tuesday Morning Music: Califone’s “Funeral Singers”

Posted by Kevin K. on 11/24/09 at 06:16 AM
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Categories: MusicMusic VideosYouTubidity

Monday, November 23, 2009

And Microsoft will rename their search engine Bingnuts…

Looks like Microsoft may be trying to position Bing as the Conservapedia of search engines. Heard this on NPR’s Marketplace tonight:

Kai Ryssdal: If you have used the new search engine from Microsoft, Bing, you know it has something that Google doesn’t have: really pretty pictures on its home page. But Bing may soon have something else that Google doesn’t. Something a good deal more valuable, too—The Wall Street Journal, the New York Post and other content that’s owned by Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp.

There are reports today that Microsoft’s trying to do a deal with News Corp. Nothing merger or acquisition-like. But quite possibly bigger. Microsoft would pay News Corp to keep its content on Bing and off Google.

Next up for Microsoft will be exclusive deals with WorldNetDaily, Pajamas Media, TownHall.com, RedState, and National Review Online. If the Mac folks are smart, they’ll replace John Hodgman with Jonah Goldberg or Erick Erickson in their next round of commercials.

Bingnuts!

Posted by Kevin K. on 11/23/09 at 11:32 PM
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Categories: Geek SpeakPoliticsNuttersOur Stupid Media

Obama, ACORN Cause Eggo Waffle Shortage

This is clearly an affront to mothers everywhere, who have to explain to their daughters that the dusky-hued one and his ACORN minions have denied them their waffles.

Posted by Tom65 on 11/23/09 at 02:22 PM
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Categories: FoodPoliticsPolisnark

From the “Self-Awareness, Lack Thereof” file…

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Michele Bachmann is flummoxed by Democratic opposition:

In being forceful and fighting for the positions that I’m standing for, I obviously must pose a threat for liberals advancing their agenda. I say that because I grew up a Democrat in a Democrat family. My husband and I both worked on Jimmy Carter’s presidential campaign. The first time I ever came to Washington was to dance at Walter Mondale’s inaugural ball. It was a thrill for my husband and me, and we were both happy to work on behalf of Walter Mondale and Jimmy Carter. We really believed in them when we were in college. So in some ways I don’t understand why the Democratic Party would be opposed to me, because I stand for the same values that my parents stood for when we were Democrats.

Indeed, why on earth would any Democrat object to being labeled “un-American” and “socialists”? Who could hold Bachmann’s madcap, zany adventures—like exhorting a motley scrum of birfers and assorted teabag loons to invade congressional office buildings—against her? She voted for Jimmy! Carter!

[H/T: TPM]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/23/09 at 11:39 AM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsBedwettersNutters

Rogue Rage: Bees of the Queen and Bumble Varieties

Rogue Rage Week is drawing to a close. I think I can speak for us all when I say thanks be to merciful God for that.

We’ve seen Palin’s effect on the lumpenproletariat —an unwarrantedly intense loyalty that quickly turns to into over-the-top feelings of betrayed rage when the Frozen Cheesecake Goddess fails to live up to expectations.

And now for two views from the upper crust: In the clip below, domestic diva Martha Stewart weighs in first, stating in a succinct (if possibly boozy—Cristal with Fresh Berry Purée?) fashion why she views Palin as both a bore and a dangerous person.

Then Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild, who was an endless source of amusement during the primaries, unclenches her patrician lockjaw long enough to pass her verdict (LLFdR also appears somewhat impaired, only in her case, I suspect Xanax or Klonopin rather than Martha’s Cristal—watch how she alarms the poor Fox lady by putting a death-grip on her arm on at the .50 mark):

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Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/23/09 at 10:07 AM
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