Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Ye Olde Fox & Hound

Champion sour-grape sucker Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild takes liberties with Fox & Friends peasant Steve Doocy:

You can watch the entire episode here (not recommended). In it, her ladyship expounds upon the theory proffered in her gently received “I Told You So” column at The Daily Beast.

To wit, socialist monster Barack Obama used the Trojan Horse of centrism to get elected. Only Lady Lynn and other prominent peers of the realm had the wit to perceive it because you Obot peasants are all what Rush Limbaugh might satirically call “retards.”

Moreover, Obama is a big fat liar with all this bipartisanship stuff because while he pretends to extend the PATRIOT Act, incorporate GOP ideas into a corporate-friendly health care bill and not raise taxes, he’s really dismantling the very foundations of liberty in a mad bid to transform America into France. Or maybe Greece. At any rate, some socialist country with BIG GOVERNMENT and teeny coffee cups.

Anyway, Lady Lynn told you so, you ignorant bumpkins, but you wouldn’t listen, and now America is doomed. The end.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 03/02/10 at 06:19 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaBedwettersNuttersOur Stupid MediaPUMAsTelevisionYouTubidity

Glenn Beck: “Only Angry Dalek Hats Can Stop Progressives from Stabbing You in the Eyes”

This is “old” news from the CPAC confab, and Dave Sirota has covered it elsewhere. But it was largely overlooked at the time…and it deserves a stronger shot of daylight.

Let’s face it: Glenn Beck is a damaged human being—not so much a “personality” as a collection of symptoms and tics, a buggy OS with too much broken code, a bunting-draped Golem with a 4th-of-July sparkler jammed up its ass and a rolled-up scroll of Jack Chick tracts stuffed in its mouth. His radio program—which used to open with a snappy rock anthem—now spins up on a wailing dirge straight out of the ‘80s Arena Band Gulag. What follows is three hours of alternating manic-depressive smash-cuts, synced to a mashup of soundtracks from Why We Fight and Ernest Goes to Armageddon: He cries. His callers cry. Suicidal ideation cross-fades seamlessly into commercial spots for Food Insurance and Gold-on-Paper as the Preferred Currrency of the Brain-Eating Zombie End-Times. Anger and desperation alchemically transmute into giggly, often cruel and puerile humor. Then comes the double-clutch downshift into cracked-voice, verklempt warnings of the “Nameless” Destroyer Whose Name Is “Obama”...or “Marxism,” or “Democracy,” or “the Death of American Exceptionalism,” or “Government” or ‘Creeping Incrementalism” or “Knickers That Buckle ABOVE the Knee.” 

Beck blames the show’s whipsaw emotionalism on untreated “ADHD.” As I listen, the phrase “untethered space-walk” comes to mind. I understand his Fox show is pretty much the same shtick, but with visiting freaks, balloon animals and camera-friendly “Tammy Faye” mascara-tears. Kind of a 3D House of Wacks. 

In short, Beck is a Nimitz-class head-case—an earnest, creepy paranoid with a steamer-trunk-sized load of unresolved guilt that can only be redeemed by convincing everyone within the sound of his voice that Crazy is Normal…and Righteous. 

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Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 03/02/10 at 05:33 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersTeabaggery

Orrin Hatch:  Use of Reconciliation on Health Care Bill to end Democracy as We Know It

Writing in the Washington Post today, Senator Orrin Hatch, R-UT, assures us that using reconciliation procedures in the Senate to pass a sidecar bill adjusting the previously passed Senate bill to make it more palatable to House Dems would be (and I’m quoting here) “an assault to the Democratic process!”  (Okay, that was the headline and he may not have actually written that part himself but it’s pretty much the gist of the whole piece.)

He starts out by noting that while the American Founders intended the House to be designed for Action, the Senate is designed for obstruction deliberation.  And therefore it is un-American to pass anything by a simple majority to get around the minority party’s desire to obstruct deliberate the process.  Oh, of course reconciliation has been used in a few isolated instances in recent years, all of which were eventually passed by large bipartisan majorities.  So to even consider using reconciliation to complete the passage of health care reform legislation would deal a crushing blow to our democracy:

This use of reconciliation to jam through this legislation, against the will of the American people, would be unprecedented in scope. And the havoc wrought would threaten our system of checks and balances, corrode the legislative process, degrade our system of government and damage the prospects of bipartisanship.

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Posted by marindenver on 03/02/10 at 04:02 PM
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One Zuckerman and a Baby

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Teresa Kopec is right ... this is weird:

The Daily News in 2008 ran an announcement congratulating [potential NY senatorial candidate Mort] Zuckerman on the birth of a daughter but made no mention of the child’s mother, prompting head-scratching in New York media circles. Recent visitors to his apartment said a baby is often present but that it’s considered impolite to inquire about the baby’s provenance.

I don’t have much else to say except “NO! Don’t even think about it.”

DAY=RUINED

Posted by Kevin K. on 03/02/10 at 09:55 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10

Out with a whimper

Despite the thuggish tactics of insider bullies like violent, hulking menace Kirsten Gillibrand, Harold Ford Jr. wants you to know that he immeasurably improved the tone of New York politics merely by waggling his toe in that tepid pool. Alas, he won’t be diving in.

But don’t cry for him, New Yorkers: Ford promises to remain a force in politics both on the state and national level. Expect to receive frequent doses of Democratic and Republican talking points, generously mashed up to produce unique fusions such as “common-sense civil unions,” and dispensed by Ford on outlets like MSNBC. Huzzah!

Posted by Betty Cracker on 03/02/10 at 07:55 AM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsElection '10Our Stupid Media

Tuesday Morning Music: The Heavy’s “How You Like Me Now?”

After hearing this song by the Heavy, used in a recent Kia commercial, several times in the background as Chris was watching TV on Sunday, it has become a quite pleasurable earwig.  Now it’s your turn…

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Posted by Kevin K. on 03/02/10 at 07:50 AM
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Categories: MusicMusic VideosYouTubidity

Monday, March 01, 2010

American Thinker: Barack Obama Is Just Like A Killer Whale In So Many Ways!

    'Cos They're Cousins, Idiological Cousins All The Way



It was so obvious, it was just staring the country in the face, but it took the intermittently firing neurons of Jeannie deAngelis at American Thinker to formulate and give vent to just what everyone’s been thinking: 
         

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Posted by Mrs. Polly on 03/01/10 at 10:53 PM
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Categories: CrittersImagesPoliticsBarack ObamaNuttersSkull Hampers

Idle Hands Are the Devil’s Etch-A-Sketch

Sarah Palin meme-theft destroys another life: Donn Janes, unelectable Tea Party candidate for the Congressional seat of retiring Tennessee Blue Dog Dem John Tanner, runs on the Stoopid Stigmata platform.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 03/01/10 at 09:44 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryYouTubidity

Hello, I Must Be Going: Sen. Bunning Explains the Meaning of “Obstructionist Prick” to ABC News Team

Sen. “Tough Shit for Unemployed Americans” boards his escape pod. Story here.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 03/01/10 at 05:54 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersTelevisionYouTubidity

Nancy “the Knife” Pelosi just cold-ass whacks people

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One of Politico’s famous unnamed sources rips the mask off Madam Speaker Nancy Patricia D’Alesandro Pelosi. In a stunning exposé, we learn that the San Francisco liberal and nana of seven is really a stone-cold killer just itching to whack people—even political allies—execution-style:

Pelosi “will put a bullet in the head of anyone she needs to,” said a Democratic insider. “Rangel, any incumbent that looks like he’s going to lose. She’ll do anything it takes to keep her majority, anything.”

Nancy the Knife joins noted thug Darcy “DBurn” Burner (who made her bones by personally busting a cap in the ass of single payer advocates) in setting the new standard for gansta in the Obama era.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 03/01/10 at 04:58 PM
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Categories: PoliticsOur Stupid MediaPolisnark

“Cookin’ in your head”

When is Our Stupid Media going to figure out that teabaggers are nothing more than run-of-the-mill, dull-witted wingnuts with way too much disposable income in their pockets and time on their hands?

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Posted by Kevin K. on 03/01/10 at 11:31 AM
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Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild has written something!

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Loopy Lady Lynn Forester de Laughingstock is bellowing “I TOLD YOU SO!” over at the horrible, horrible The Daily Beast (really, this full-grown lady person actually is). Sometimes snark just plain isn’t required. This is one of those times:

Obama’s shortcomings were eminently foreseeable, says one of McCain’s most prominent Democratic backers. Lynn Forester de Rothschild on how the president’s fake bipartisanship could never hide his true leftist agenda. [...]

Perhaps the biggest fabrication of the Obama candidacy was his claim of being a centrist. Sure, he made promises during the campaign that pleased moderates. He promised “the elimination of capital gains taxes for small business,” a $3,000 refundable tax credit to existing businesses for every additional employee hired through 2010, removal of penalties for early withdrawal of 401(k) savings during the recession, and no administration jobs for lobbyists. Perhaps the best of all was the promise he made in the Mississippi presidential debate when he said, “We need earmark reform. And when I’m president, I will go line by line to make sure that we are not spending money unwisely.” They were specific, sensible promises—ones that enabled him to mislead the electorate about his real plans for America. [...]

So if he wasn’t going to be a centrist Democrat in the tradition of Bill Clinton, what did Barack Obama want from his presidency, should he be elected? He told us from the beginning. It was a stunning agenda, but it seemed innocuous, even inspiring, during the campaign. Standing on the steps of the old Illinois State Capitol, announcing his candidacy for president, Obama declared he was running “not just to hold an office, but to gather with you to transform a nation.” Suddenly now everyone is worried he is trying to transform America. He had said so all along. His is an effort to make a bigger, more intrusive and more costly government. His hope is, and has always been, to turn the country into a nation that looks more like a European social democracy. He ignores that the roots of our strength have always been small government and a dynamic private sector, fostered by both Democrats and Republicans. His cynical use of centrist language as a tool to get elected does not change the fact of his true objectives for America.

OBAMAMG! THE ELITIST, SWARTHY PRESIDENT WITH THE UN-AMERICAN NAME HAS PLANS AND OBJECTIVES! HE MUST BE STOPPED!*

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Posted by Kevin K. on 03/01/10 at 10:19 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaNuttersSarah PalinPUMAsSkull Hampers

Nonpartisan! Grassroots! That dingbat from SNL!

Posted by Kevin K. on 03/01/10 at 09:10 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggerySkull HampersYouTubidity

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