Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Mistah Kurtz—He Bagged: McChrystal Resigns

...according to Joe Klein on CNN. No details yet.

...or maybe not. Joe Klein tweets that McChrystal has “offered” his resignation. Josh Marshall urges wait-and-see.

More unattributed speculation from the UK.

Interesting backgrounder from Juan Cole.

And here’s a rather downbeat assessment of on-the-ground consequences from Wired’s Danger Room.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/22/10 at 03:59 PM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsWar In Error

Elvis Needs Oil Rigs, But Federal Judge Thwarts His Sinister Nefariousness

All-powerful Nazi-collaborating Jew Commie Pedophile George Soros owns a chunk of stock amounting to less than 1% of the asset valuation of Brazilian oil and gas major Petrobras. Recently the US Export-Import bank used Stimulus monies to guarantee $2 billion in third-party loans so that Petrobras could purchase American-made equipment for its drilling operations, because that’s what the Ex-Im bank does. Almost immediately following Obama’s announcement of a six-month moratorium on deepwater oil drilling, Petrobras put out feelers to acquire as many of the idled floating rigs as it could lease, as—I suspect—did every other oil company on the planet that sees the profit-potential in controlling a fleet of “available now” rigs in a market that’s back-ordered years ahead on semi-submersible drilling platforms. 

But today, Federal District Judge Martin L. C. Feldman blocked the moratorium order, which means that Obama will now have to reward his Shadowy Ubiquitous Puppet-Master with 1,000 Christian Virgins or perpetual sandstone mining rights to the Grand Canyon. 

Soros may be down, but he’s not out. And, this immediate setback notwithstanding, he’s everywhere.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/22/10 at 03:04 PM
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Categories: MusicMusic VideosNewsPoliticsBarack Obama

How the Crist Stole Grinchmas

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Every Grinch
Down in Teabagville
Liked Rubio a lot…

But the Crist,
Who lived just to the left of Teabagville,
The Crist, he did NOT!

The Crist hated Rubio and the whole Grinchmas season!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be he realized the GOP had lost its way.
It could be, perhaps, that the Crist was too gay.

But I think that the most likely reason of all
Is the Crist realized teabagger brains were two sizes too small.
(Or perhaps he just still wanted a job in the fall.)

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/22/10 at 11:45 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersTeabaggeryOur Stupid Media

From the Department of What WAS He Thinking?

Rolling Stone has a controversial article out detailing General Stanley McChrystal’s apparent dissatisfaction with the new administration.  When the title of the article is “The Runaway General” and it leads off with “Stanley McChrystal, Obama’s top commander in Afghanistan, has seized control of the war by never taking his eye off the real enemy: The wimps in the White House” you know sparks are getting ready to fly.

Marc Ambinder has compiled some of the “juiciest bits” if you’re interested.

And reportedly McChrystal, helmet in hand, is flying home to do the mea culpa.  Amongst cries for his resignation for insubordination by the likes of Morning Joe and, no doubt, cheers of victory by the nutter types.

I don’t know that much about McChrystal as a person so I’m at a loss about what to think.  Maybe the guy’s just been in the battlefield too long.  He certainly seems to have known what he was doing.  The editors of Rolling Stone said that they informed him about the quotes that would be used in the article prior to its publication and that the general and his staff did not object.

Asked if McChrystal pushed back on the story, Bates responded: “No, absolutely not.”

“We ran everything by them in the fact-checking process as we always do,” the Rolling Stone editor said. “They had a sense of what was coming and it was all on the record and they spent a lot of time with our reporter, so I think they knew that they had said it.”

So what are your thoughts on this and where does Obama go with it?

Posted by marindenver on 06/22/10 at 11:16 AM
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“Such is Life”: The Next-to-the-Last Words of Ned Kelly

Kevin’s too busy to post an incomprehensible music video this morning, but that’s no reason not to have one.

Ned Kelly was a notorious Australian bushranger of the mid-1800s who spectacularly ended his career in a gunfight with Colonial authorities at Glenrowan, Victoria, wearing an incredibly scary suit of homemade, steampunk-style Iron Man armor.

In 1880, Kelly was hanged for the murder of a constable, and subsequently became a national folk hero who was famously portrayed on film by Mick Jagger and, somewhat less famously, by Heath Ledger. Many songs have been written about the exploits of Kelly and his gang, all of them infinitely better than this one.

Tradition has it that Kelly’s exit line on the scaffold was “Such is life,” although at least one chronicler records a last-second admonition to posterity: “I’ve earned the noose, but God save me from Fanboy videos.”

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/22/10 at 09:19 AM
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Categories: MoviesMusicMusic Videos

Worst Metaphor of the Week

It’s only Tuesday, but I think we’re done here with the following sentence that concludes this Taylor Marsh post:

It makes my realist vein throb.

For reasons obvious to all, no more entries for “Worst Metaphor of the Week” honors will be accepted for June 20-27, 2010.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/22/10 at 05:29 AM
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Categories: PoliticsEditorialsWar In ErrorSkull Hampers

Monday, June 21, 2010

Obligatory Mystical Solstice Image

Because it’s the Solstice, and because shit like this really classes the blog up.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/21/10 at 08:02 PM
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Categories: Geek SpeakImages

You think YOUR job sucks…

I pity the fool who has to approve Sarah Palin’s Twitter drafts. Items rejected so far today with reviewer comments below each draft entry:

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[Might fire up enviros as turtles on endangered species list. Maybe change to “blackened fish”?]


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[Governor, “yuan” is the unit of Chinese currency—like our dollar, only in Chinese.]

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/21/10 at 02:31 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah Palin

Sharron Angle: Shame On Harry Reid for Running Substanceless Attack Ads Like Mine

Harry Reid: Too Much Truth, Not Enough Solutions.

Sharron Angle: Sound Ideas I’ll Tell You About Later, After I Get Through Slinging This Mud.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/21/10 at 09:43 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersTeabaggery

Question: Should the US Declare Independence from England AGAIN?

Just a thought. “Despoliation Without Representation” sounds like a workable Tea Party slogan. But what the hell can we throw overboard this time that isn’t already in the water?

Yeah, it’s early. Forget I brought it up. Pretend this is an obscure music video or something.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/21/10 at 07:23 AM
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Categories: Skull Hampers

Sunday, June 20, 2010

I Know U R, Sarah, But Wot M I?

Madam Vuvuzela issues a gnomic burst of outrage from her arctic Fortress of Smackitude:

OK, so maybe it was just these guys:

...and Bachmann, Price and Barbour. And Limbaugh. And Erick Erickson. And Bill Kristol. Yeah, and maybe Boehner and Cantor and some other Party Big Wheels aren’t so cool with the concept.

But, really, was it a “lie”...or just a bit of high-spirited over-inclusivity? And would it be acceptable if Rahm were to substitute “Crazy People” for “GOP”?

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/20/10 at 08:11 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaNuttersSarah Palin

Food prøn: Last measure of devotion edition

Okay, so my husband, Señor Cracker, is the greatest dad in the galaxy. (Truly, he is—cross Atticus Finch with the pilot dad in Mad Max and throw in a measure of Oscar Peterson for the piano skills. Pretty farkin’ impressive!) 

Anyhoo, such a paragon is King of the World on Father’s Day and is thus entitled to whatever meal his heart desires. Really—anything, as if the poor bastard were about to be executed.

The menu he chose: Shrimp Etouffee over rice with crusty bread and key lime pie for dessert. Well!

Homemade key lime pie is a bitch when our own local key limes are out of season! I had to juice an entire pound of absurdly small key limes from Mexico. Our Florida ones are juicy, but the damn Mexican ones from our particular grocery store yielded approximately 5 drops of juice apiece, and the pie requires 2/3rds of a cup. Here’s what a pound of juiced Mexican key limes looks like:

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Then, after the pie was baked and set to cool, I made the Etouffee, which starts with a roux. Y’all know a goddamn roux will break your heart, right?

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/20/10 at 07:13 PM
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Categories: Food

Hoist the Jolly Roger Ailes: Beck Suggests Turning Afghan War Over to Privateers

Like subcontracting military ops has been a such a swell winning strategy so far.

I didn’t have high hopes for Fox Business Channel’s new “Freedom Watch” package, but seeing Judge Napolitano and Glenn Beck reheat this Ron Paul Dog’s Dinner pretty much sealed it for me.

The legal and logistical insanity of replacing uniformed troops with legions of freelance warfighters is obvious. But the really creepy part of this clip is Beck’s unstated implication that our pussy-ass DOD can’t do the job because of its spineless aversion to rape, pillage and indiscriminate acts of terror. And who the fuck is he talking about—the Mafia? Telly Savalas and Charles Bronson? Lex Luthor? The inmates of the Federal Supermax prison at Florence, Colorado?

And, anyway, under the traditional rules of a Letter of Marque, wouldn’t we have to give them all the lithium?

[H/T to MediaMatters for red-flagging this nonsense.]

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/20/10 at 05:10 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersOur Stupid MediaWar In Error

Bedtime for Bobo

I’ve fallen asleep during a meeting or two in stuffy conference rooms, but I don’t think I’ve ever fallen asleep while I was talking to someone. Cypress Hill’s percussionist Eric Bobo did during a recent interview with FaceCulture...

Posted by Kevin K. on 06/20/10 at 07:37 AM
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Categories: Knee SlappersMusicYouTubidity

Happy Father’s Day

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That is all.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/20/10 at 04:28 AM
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Categories: Booze

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