Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Oval Office Makeover Transforms Campy Neocon Kitsch Museum into Sleek, Sexy Power-Space

Finally, Obam-Ra can stretch his world-bestriding legs in an office that doesn’t look like he won it in a shooting gallery at the Iowa State Fair.

Long-time WH staffers will miss the plastic bowl of Saddam Hussein commemorative PEZ dispensers and Dick Cheney’s quarter-operated blood-pressure-cuff chair, but they’ll doubtlessly appreciate the novelty of navigating through a room with identifiable surfaces in several colors and textures, and furniture that isn’t desert-camo’ed to match the walls.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/31/10 at 04:33 PM
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Categories: ImagesNewsPoliticsBarack Obama

Beck Staffs Truth-Seeking News Portal with Aspiring Wingnut Hacks

Because there’s just not enough Truth in the Public Discourse, Glenn Beck has launched his own high-minded, self-policing, politics-neutral beacon of journalistic integrity, The Blaze:

The image of flame is a powerful [No noun in original text, Ed.]. It has long stood for a burning truth. A truth that is not consumed. The Blaze will pursue truth. Of course we will make mistakes. Honest mistakes. And we’ll be quick with corrections. We intend to earn your trust and keep it day in and day out with hard work and a lot of transparency.

Needless to say, the Truth is in no danger of being “consumed” or even casually bumped by a passer-by on Beck’s clunky, eye-hating billboard for Goldline and Tea-Party-Hijacker Dick Armey. Nor is it likely to be invited to a Midtown lunch-meet by Beck’s All-Star Editorial Farm Team of would-be Conservative media party-crashers who never got let past the Velvet Rope:

Scott Baker, Managing Editor:  Former Breitbart VP of Business Development and co-founder of Breitbart.tv. Also, an erstwhile Pittsburgh news anchor who self-produces a Conservative vanity video project called The B-Cast...which aptly describes both the program and the talent.

Pam Key, Associate Editor/Video Producer:  Former video contributor to the proudly racist, pathologically Obama-hating Naked Emperor News.

Jonathon M. Seidl, Assistant Editor:  Occasional writer/contributor for relentless truth-pumps WORLD Magazine and The American Spectator.

Meredith Jessup, Assistant Editor:  Former associate editor for the eminently non-agendized Townhall.com and contributing editor for Townhall Magazine.

No doubt, The Blaze will fill America’s aching void of Must-Read, Small-Bore, Lib-Loathing Flackery in the Age of Restoring Honor.

SEMI-RELATED BONUS: Chris Hitchens calls Beck’s 8/28 rally “the Waterworld of white self-pity.”

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/31/10 at 10:15 AM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryOur Stupid MediaPoliblogsPolisnark

Monday, August 30, 2010

America by Fart

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I’ve seen a number of critiques of the Beck-Palin phenomenon lately that attribute The Rise of the Silver Slurpers to a simple longing for leadership in these tumultuous times. There was this NYT op-ed over the weekend by Anna Holmes and Rebecca Traister, lefty feminists pining for “A Palin of Our Own.”

Since the 2008 election, progressive leaders have done little to address the obvious national appetite for female leadership. And despite (or because of) their continuing obsession with Ms. Palin, they have done nothing to stop an anti-choice, pro-abstinence, socialist-bashing Tea Party enthusiast from becoming the 21st century symbol of American women in politics.

The left’s failure to nurture and celebrate female politicians has had a significant effect on its policies. In recent years, Democratic majorities and progressive legislation seem to have been built on steady trade-offs of reproductive rights, culminating this year when the first female speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, was forced to push through health care reform with a compromise on abortion financing.

An older generation of female Democrats, including Mrs. Clinton and Ms. Pelosi, are about as eager to mount a Palin-style girl-powered campaign as they are to wear a miniskirt on the House floor. For them, proudly or aggressively touting one’s feminist credentials (if you’re actually a feminist, that is) is taboo. It’s considered too, well, female.

I call bullshit on this. First of all, let’s look at the examples they cited:  Clinton, Pelosi and Palin. Hillary Clinton is arguably the most powerful woman on the planet, busily running the foreign policy apparatus of the world’s only super power. Nancy Pelosi is the only female Speaker of the House—ever—and a highly effective legislator in that role by any objective measure. And Sarah Palin is…an occasional Fox News contributor, a former second-fiddle on a losing presidential ticket and a half-term governor who quit every important job she ever held.

Sorry, ladies, but I’ll match our record up with the GOP’s on women’s leadership any day of the week. Sure, Palin has a creepily devoted fan base and scads of Facebook friends. So does Lady Gaga. And Lady Gaga has more progressive policy chops.

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/30/10 at 07:09 PM
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Glenn Beck, Beastmaster

It was a sunny day in DC in August, and there were geese over the only large body of water. Miracles, I tells ya.

I can’t wait till these people discover entrails and pyromancy.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/30/10 at 03:05 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryRelijun

RR Report: PICKLED! Live From The Burlington Coat Mosque

August 28th was a day like any other, filled with those events that alter and illuminate our lives—as long as you weren’t at some tentless chafing-dishless revival in Washington DC!

For instance,  there I was that afternoon, checking out my friendly neighborhood Burlington Coat Mosque, and could it be? Were my eyes lying? No, there IT was: PICKLE! 

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 08/30/10 at 07:12 AM
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Categories: New York CityPoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryRelijun

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Beck WHO?!

Silly media reports“maybe thousands”@Beck’s “irrelevant” event;insinuating MSM sheeple mustn’t believe their own eyes&ears re: event’s truth
about 4 hours ago  via Twitter for BlackBerry®
Retweeted by 100+ people

SarahPalinUSA

Snooki should have stopped typing after “Silly me.”

read the whole post »

Posted by YAFB on 08/29/10 at 03:44 PM
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Categories: MusicMusic VideosPoliticsNuttersSarah PalinSkull Hampers

Beck to Wallace: Obama is Only a Racist in God’s Eyes, Or Something

This was fun to watch live. Please note that even though Beck has stopped gel-spiking his hair, he’s still no closer to morphing into Phil Donahue.

ThinkProgress and MediaMatters are all over this, but it can’t be viewed enough. Beck squirms like a slug-in-salt any time he’s compelled to retrofit an intellectual framework to a worldview that is largely informed by a bubbling stew of unexamined guilt, fear and insecurity. The sad thing is, his self-satisfied confusion seems to be contagious. If you were ever in AA, you’ve seen plenty of Becks:

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/29/10 at 03:20 PM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsBarack ObamaNuttersYouTubidity

Where’s the Beef Jerky, Mr. President?: “Spicy Town” is a Poster Child for America’s Moral Decline

My God, what a hellhole—a gutted, trash-strewn Abattoir of Dreams where Socialism’s failed human Petri cultures scrounge for rods of dry, salted cow-flesh and enlist in steel-cage matches with Mexican luchadores, evil ninjas, obese Social Security Disability sponges and scary robots because government-subsidized Liberal education has damned them to a life of Hopeless Parasitism and nihilistic thrill-seeking. Only when these opportunity-deprived zombies are gnawing on processed tube-meat and being kicked shitless by a mechanical man in a diving helmet do they feel truly alive

You can tour this Bailed-Out, Demand-Side Obamaville of Depradation here...or view a couple of quick snapshots below the fold.

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Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/29/10 at 01:30 PM
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Categories: Knee SlappersMessylaneous

An Open Letter to Cuban Tree Frogs

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Dear Cuban Tree Frogs:

First of all, you’re an invasive fucking species. You have no business being in the United States. You hitched a ride on cargo ships from the Caribbean, and now you’ve infested the entire Florida peninsula and even infiltrated parts of Georgia, Texas and South Carolina.

You secrete toxic mucus on your heads, which is not only gross but can trigger allergic reactions. And you pose a threat to biodiversity by eating native frogs, lizards and even snakes. Because you’re big-ass tree frogs—way bigger than the native species.

But you know what, Cuban Tree Frogs? All of this I could forgive. I’m a live-and-let-live liberal. I support the rights of undocumented, human Americans-by-choice—advocating the type of liberal amnesty policies that earned the senior US Senator from Arizona the nickname “Juan McCain” before he had to morph into Sheriff Joe Arpaio to get reelected. And my infinite tolerance extends to the animal kingdom as well. Or, I should say, it used to.

This brings me to the purpose of my letter, Tree Frogs. Thanks to your unrelenting personal attacks and ceaseless campaign of humiliation, I am now staunchly opposed to your presence within our borders.

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Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/29/10 at 09:31 AM
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Categories: Critters

Sunday Morning Music: Ronnie from Botswana’s “Ba koba bana”

Once again I’m coming out of semi-retirement (ha ha! liar! STAY AWAY!!!) to post a music video because Ronnie is just ... plain ... amazing. More videos of him on this highly recommended YouTube channel. Enjoy.

Posted by Kevin K. on 08/29/10 at 06:05 AM
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Categories: MusicMusic VideosYouTubidity

Saturday, August 28, 2010

A question about Beck’s Rube-A-Paloser

Is it me, or did the focus of today’s shindig seem ... to not exist?

Off the top of my head, here’s a list of things Beck crammed into his lengthy and very public wank session*:

1. The Troops.
2. Honor
3. God & Son, Inc.
4. Teabaggin’.
5. Abraham Lincoln.
6. The Sarah Palin Starburst Experience.

read the whole post »

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 08/28/10 at 08:30 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersTeabaggery

The United $tate$ of GlennBecki$tan - A photojournal

Hopefully the mouseovers are intact.

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 08/28/10 at 02:39 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

It’s Morning Zoo in America: Glenn Beck Transforms a Nation from the Foot of Al Capone’s Vault

I don’t know about the poor attendees who paid money they don’t have to travel to DC and listen to Glenn’s manic-depressive radio shtick live, but I feel personally cheated when some guy talks me to sleep for three hours and I still crave cigarettes when I wake up. 

At least Geraldo had the decency to perform a Tap Dance of Shame when he finally opened the vault and discovered it was the place where Al Capone stored his fill dirt.

I’ll be posting links to other media reactions as I find them. Me, I’m calling it the Million-Man Fart-in-a-Bathtub.

BBC has a slidehow here, with Special Guest Appearance by popular flag-drag Transpatriotite Cap’n Crunch.

CBS says 87,000 attended. Not surprisingly, Palin claims it was more than 100,000, ABC says “hundreds of thousands,” NBC says “closer to 300,000” and Carl Sagan says “100 billion.”

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/28/10 at 12:51 PM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsNuttersOur Stupid MediaRelijun

Apart From That, Mr. Lincoln, How Did You Like The Play?

lincoln says thumbs down!
The Kwittin’ Image swooped in for a cameo, the Weeping Hamster thrilled to his own voice while conferring Wingnut Decorations upon some Rotary Club presidents, and there were more black entertainment acts than the Stax 50th anniversary concert. The Special Ops Warriors Foundation gets a boatload of money in exchange for providing cover for the Cuddly Savonarola, and everybody’s happy! Isn’t that what counts?

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 08/28/10 at 12:27 PM
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Categories: MessylaneousPoliticsBedwettersNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Glenn Beck’s Restoring Honor Slumber Party: Pickles & Patroits [sic] UPDATE: This is an open thread.

This is how they got to Glenn Beck’s giant patriotic slumber party!

Pickles...

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...and patroits!

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read the whole post »

Posted by Kevin K. on 08/28/10 at 07:06 AM
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Categories: ImagesPoliticsNuttersSarah PalinSkull Hampers

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