Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Rep. Issa Calls Government Signage Political “Propaganda”

Personally, I always thought it was kind of unifying and uplifting.

Oh, wait. Issa only has a problem with obviously partisan signs that make America feel better in tough times…or mid-term election cycles. Or, say, signage that promotes a really swell thing that he famously voted against.

Someone should tell Issa that signmakers have jobs, too. Asshole.

Also, someone should ask him how this jives with his earlier criticism that the Stimulus Package didn’t include enough money for infrastructure projects. Now, apparently, he thinks there was too much.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/25/10 at 10:15 AM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsNutters

Scary Mooslin Supports Mosque Protestors’ Rights

Eat Pray Swim: Jabir heard about Park 51, or the Mosque, or the Cordoba Center, or Jihadi’s Playhouse, from the news stories about it, and he’s looking forward to the cooking school.

Another in a series of interviews I did at the rally against the (non) Ground Zero (not really) Mosque, in patented PollyWobbleVision®, although the camera doesn’t shake nearly as much as when I was interviewing those two biker guys. Odd, that.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 08/25/10 at 09:24 AM
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Categories: New York CityManhattanPoliticsRelijun

Old man in dress finally goes too far?

image

No birth control. No straight divorce. No gay marriage. No justice for abused children. And now no vuvuzelas. Will this be the arbitrary rule that finally brings down the papacy?

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/25/10 at 07:44 AM
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Categories: PoliticsOur Stupid MediaRelijun

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Cloud of (Editorial) Unknowing

Friendly note to Time Magazine:

Those whom heaven helps we call the sons of heaven. They do not learn this by learning. They do not work it by working. They do not reason it by using reason. To let understanding stop at what cannot be understood is a high attainment. Those who cannot do it will be broken on the lathe of heaven.

Chuang Tzu

Friendly note to Phyllis Chesler:

I’ll bet you were something before electricity.

Al Czervik

NOTE: This was originally going to be a meta-post on the “Journalism of the Imponderable.” Then I found Chesler’s article and realized the word I was looking for was “Insufferable.” Also, I want Congress to pass legislation outlawing provocative interrogatory headlines, just because.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/24/10 at 07:24 PM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsNuttersOur Stupid MediaWar In Error

They Can Do Their Freedom Of Religion Anywhere They Want—Just Not Here

Another interview from the rally against the Not The Ground Zero Mosque.

When asked about Salman Hamdani, the Muslim police cadet/ EMT who died at Ground Zero trying to save lives, and whether his mother deserved a place near Ground Zero to pray for her son, the answer to the guy on the left is plain: NO!

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 08/24/10 at 04:45 PM
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Categories: New York CityManhattanPoliticsRelijunSkull Hampers

Palin Tweets Last-Minute Support for Her AK, AZ and FL Primary Picks

Or maybe not. But whatever it is that’s keeping her away from her Blackberry today, I’m sure she hopes that all good Americans will go to the polls and vote for the Teabagger/RINO/Sociopath of Sarah’s choice.

John McCain, Joe Miller, Paul Gosar, Allen West and Pam Bondi (Did I miss anyone?) are all in play today. I’ll be monitoring the AK returns, since I have to be up all night anyway.

For sheer krazy-on-krazy action, Quayle vs. Gorman is worth watching, even though Sarah—surprisingly—doesn’t have a horse in that nutjob-rich race. 

Should be a fun night.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/24/10 at 04:41 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

The Biblical Foundations of America, Such As They Are

I get tired of hearing that the Declaration of Independence and the US Constitution are rooted in Judeo-Christian law, and Betty’s post on Erick al-Amriki convinced me to finally publish my Quick-Scan Bible-America Concordance:

1 And God spoke all these words:

2 “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

3 “You shall have no other gods before [a] me.

4 “You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments.

7 “You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.

8 “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. 11 For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

13 “You shall not murder.

14 “You shall not commit adultery.

15 “You shall not steal.

16 “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

Yep, that’s it—America and God share prohibitions against Murder, Theft and Perjury, and all the rest is a) safety tips for stress-free nomadic living and b) God demanding Evian water, BLUE-ONLY M&Ms and 10% of T-shirt sales.

Suck it, Sarah. America isn’t based on Biblical Law; Biblical Law is based on cave paintings. Anyway, Hammurabi did it better—and way ahead of the Jews.

Thanks, Babylon. America is ever in your debt.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/24/10 at 12:20 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryWar In Error

“Kowabunga” Creator Dead at 85

Although most of them don’t realize it, fans of Buffalo Bob, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Bart Simpson and ‘60s beach movies are mourning the death of Ed Kean, the original writer for The Howdy Doody Show.

The coining of “Kowabunga” is generally misattributed by generations of Americans too young to qualify for regular colonoscopies. However, a contributor to the online Urban Dictionary has it right:

This was a term used by Chief Thunderthud on the Howdy Doody show in the fifties. It was picked up by surfers in southern California in the late fifties, then skateboarders. Not Swahili, not Hawaiian, not Mutant Ninja Turtles - Howdy Doody.

Kean scripted the seminal TV kiddie show from 1947 to 1954, and is credited with writing its beloved but earwig-like theme song, “It’s Howdy Doody Time.”

RIP Ed. Thanks for the cultural continuity, and praise God you weren’t Bozo.

PS: Please use this thread to cast your nomination for the Teabagger or Wingnut politician most deserving of the appellation “Chief Thunderthud.”

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/24/10 at 11:22 AM
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Categories: Geek SpeakNewsTelevision

The sheep shall be separated from the goat-fuckers

Sweet foot-tappin’ Jeebus playing “I’ll Fly Away” on a banjo, check out CNN’s wingnut affirmative action hire, Erick Son of Erick, on the topic of Franklin Son of Billy:

Much has been made this week of Franklin Graham’s comments both about the Ground Zero Mosque and Barack Obama’s religion. It has been more than hilarious to watch all the news networks, newspapers, and pundits try to explain Graham’s comments.

All of those who have been talking about his comments have talked about them from a political point of view.

Franklin Graham could care less. I could care less. What Franklin Graham said is dead on.

Specifically, this week Graham noted that Barack Obama was born a muslim.

“I think the president’s problem is that he was born a Muslim, his father was a Muslim. The seed of Islam is passed through the father like the seed of Judaism is passed through the mother. He was born a Muslim, his father gave him an Islamic name,” Graham told CNN’s John King in a televised interview that aired Thursday night.

Firstly, it’s COULDN’T care less, you noxious twit. If you and Franklin COULD care less, that means you care a little, even if only a teensy bit. See how that works?

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/24/10 at 10:52 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaBedwettersNutters

Wee-kenduh!

Funny if you’ve been bombarded by obnoxious NYT commercials:

[H/T: Sully]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/24/10 at 10:34 AM
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Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsOur Stupid MediaYouTubidity

Constituent Relations FAIL: Part 7,946

See the whole unedited vid at CBS News here. According to CBS, the woman who stuck the paper in front of the camera is a Greta show operative.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/24/10 at 07:33 AM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah PalinOur Stupid MediaYouTubidity

Monday, August 23, 2010

Teabagger Fallback Election Strategery: Blackmail the Winner

This is rich. Palin’s hand-picked henchrube Clint Didier got blown out of the recent Washington State All-Party Top-Two Primary for US Senate candidates. The winners were sitting Dem Senator Patty Murray and GOP suit mannequin and two-time gubernatorial loser Dino Rossi. Footballer-turned-farmer Didier came in a distant third with 13% of the vote. 

In a genteel, We-the-People-Have-Spoken universe, Didier might have congratulated his fellow Republican and thrown his support behind Rossi’s uphill challenge to the Liberal incumbent. But, as Sarah herself has shown, defeat at the polls isn’t the end—it merely means you’re over the target and taking flack. Real winners know that crushing defeat is a back-handed compliment, and a smile is just a frown turned upside-down.

Instead, Didier called a press conference to announce that he would refuse to endorse Rossi unless Rossi capitulated to the following (insane) demands:

1) Introduce the “Sanctity of Life” Act that U.S. Rep. Ron Paul introduced in the House. The bill would allow local jurisdictions to pass anti-abortion laws without interference from federal courts.

2) Sign a pledge that he won’t support any additional taxes or increases in new taxes.

3) Pledge to vote no on any bill that increases federal spending.

read the whole post »

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/23/10 at 08:40 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Misused songs: No, nay, never!

Poor Bruce Springsteen. It must be bewildering for The Boss to hear his dystopian anthem, “Born in the USA,” so widely used by right-wing chuckleheads—most recently by the protesters at yesterday’s not-Ground Zero not-mosque hate-triot fest.

Or maybe Mr. Springsteen just laughs at the irony of it all. My guess is that’s Freddie Mercury’s reaction when he looks down from Rock-n-Roll Heaven and sees gangs of über-macho football hooligans belting out “We Are the Champions.”

Another musical malaprop is the use of Pearl Jam’s “Better Man,” which, like “Born in the USA,” is used by people who either don’t know the song’s lyrics or can’t comprehend their meaning. I heard it used at a campaign rally for a local wingnut who apparently did not know the song is about a woman settling for a loser. Or maybe the candidate was just uncommonly honest.

My favorite misappropriated song of all time is embedded above: “The Wild Rover,” a temperance ditty that is drunkenly sung at least once nightly in every Irish pub with live music in the US (and possibly in Ireland as well—I don’t know). Unlike the wingnuts, “The Wild Rover” singers know exactly what they’re doing.

Have you heard any other hideously inappropriate song placements?

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/23/10 at 04:41 PM
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Categories: MusicPoliticsYouTubidity

Satya Knows Because Fox News Told Him So

Manning the barricades at the (not)Ground Zero Rally, was an Indian gentleman wearing a Gandhi T-shirt. I found him arguing heatedly with a couple of young men, also from the great subcontinent, who, after this encounter, turned to me and said, “I hope you’re putting this up on YouTube.” Your servant, guys!

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 08/23/10 at 11:46 AM
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Categories: New York CityManhattanNewsPoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryRelijunYouTubidity

Sarah Palin Impersonates Elected Official in Campaign Robocall

Hi, this is Governor Sarah Palin

Yeah, and I’m David Caruso, star of NYPD Blue.

Sarah quits the gig, but flashes the title when she’s endorsing her pals or parking in the handicap space at Target. Nice deal.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/23/10 at 10:32 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

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