Thursday, September 30, 2010

Pam Geller Totally Misses Actual Subliminal Danger Signs in Final Park 51 Design

Pam Geller triggered ripples of knee-jerk indignation today when she discerned “crushed” and “tumbling” Stars of David in the newly-released final design for the Park 51 Community Center, the facade of which merges organic and geometric shapes into a randomly cellular grid.

Of course, because Pam sees Coded Jihadi Messages in her corn flakes, she was blind to the genuine cyphered warning of Quarter-Operated Death From Beyond the Stars.

Full image of the final building design is below the fold, so that you can fully experience its diabolically deconstructivist Rorschachiness.

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Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/30/10 at 08:16 PM

Grayson Discovers Palin’s Secret Twitter Vulnerability

Anyone can use Twitter. And there’s no law that says you have to take her pipsqueak bullshit lying down.

Not that he’s been a tactical genius in this campaign, but it’s nice to see an elected Dem who’s willing to call her out as a weightless brain-case. Hopefully, it’s not just the liberating effect of thinking he’s probably going to lose anyway.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/30/10 at 04:54 PM

Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsElection '10NuttersSarah Palin

The part of The Devil will now be played by…


White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel (aka “The Devil,” “Satan,” “Old Scratch,” etc.) will be replaced by Pete Rouse tomorrow. Mr. Rouse will henceforth play the part formerly played by Emanuel in the daily Two Minutes’ Hate. Please make note of this adjustment.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/30/10 at 04:11 PM

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaManic Progressives

Chicken on the KFC crew


At National Review Online, Mark Krikorian urges faster completion of the fence to keep the dang Messicans out before they go all pre-Columbian on our asses:

The third mayor in one week has been killed in Mexico, this one in Michoacan, one of the main sources of immigration to the U.S. He was stoned to death.

Maybe his killers borrowed the method of execution from the misunderstanders of the Religion of Peace, just like with Mexican beheadings. If the Mexicans are going to get all medieval, will they eventually start borrowing from their own barbarous ancestors?

Note to fence-builders: faster, please.

NRO colleague Kathryn Jean Lopez gently remonstrates:

I want America to protect her borders as much as the next guy, but I don’t think Mark needs to bring the Aztecs into the immigration debate

Of course, Krikorian isn’t the only NRO hack to bring Aztecs into the immigration debate—it’s kind of an NRO tradition.

I wonder if the white doods at NRO avoid K-Lo in the break room for fear she’ll reach into their chest cavities and rip out their still-beating hearts…

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/30/10 at 06:48 AM

Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersOur Stupid Media

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Castle Throws O’Donnell An Anchor in Delaware Senate Race

Mike Castle decides against write-in campaign. Now, it’s just Abby Normal and the Bearded Marxist.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/29/10 at 10:33 PM

Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersTeabaggery

QuasiBigHo seeks sexy boat sanctuary!


Details are emerging of yet another bungled exploit by fake ACORN pimp James O’Keefe. O’Keefe attempted a preemptive strike at CNN reporter Abbie Boudreau, who was doing a piece on young conservatives. Suspecting that he would be trashed in the piece (since everybody knows conservatives are the most uniquely persecuted group on the planet), O’Keefe hatched a truly bizzare plot to turn the tables on the MSM.

A conservative activist known for making undercover videos plotted to embarrass a CNN correspondent by recording a meeting on hidden cameras aboard a floating “palace of pleasure” and making sexually suggestive comments, e-mails and a planning document show.


According to the document, O’Keefe was to record a video of the following script before Boudreau arrived: “My name is James. I work in video activism and journalism. I’ve been approached by CNN for an interview where I know what their angle is: they want to portray me and my friends as crazies, as non-journalists, as unprofessional and likely as homophobes, racists or bigots of some sort….

“Instead, I’ve decided to have a little fun. Instead of giving her a serious interview, I’m going to punk CNN. Abbie has been trying to seduce me to use me, in order to spin a lie about me. So, I’m going to seduce her, on camera, to use her for a video. This bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who comes on at five will get a taste of her own medicine, she’ll get seduced on camera and you’ll get to see the awkwardness and the aftermath.

“Please sit back and enjoy the show.”

Alas, Boudreau declined to play Esmeralda to O’Keefe’s Quasimodo. It blew up in O’Keefe’s face rather spectacularly because the Executive Director of the conservative group funding O’Keefe’s hit pieces (Project Veritas) suddenly developed a conscience and warned the CNN reporter:

CNN later obtained a copy of a 13-page document titled “CNN Caper,” which appears to describe O’Keefe’s detailed plans for that day.

“The plans appeared so outlandish and so juvenile in tone, I questioned whether it was part of a second attempted punk,” Boudreau said.

But in a phone conversation, [Project Veritas Executive Director] Santa confirmed the document was authentic. Listed under “equipment needed,” is “hidden cams on the boat,” and a “tripod and overt recorder near the bed, an obvious sex tape machine.”

So it seems the phony, thoroughly discredited ACORN mash-up was the pinnacle of O’Keefe’s career. Good lord, what a pathetic douchenozzle.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/29/10 at 12:08 PM

Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersOur Stupid Media

Wednesday Morning Music

And a reminder of yet another reason to despise every US president—Democrat and Republican—since John F. Kennedy: the pointless blockade against Cuba.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/29/10 at 08:00 AM

Categories: MusicMusic VideosYouTubidity

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Power Tool flunks Jeebus 101

John Hindrocket over at PowerLine observes the convergence of two facts today:

1) A Pew poll shows that, although Americans are super-religious, heathens are far more educated on the god shtick than the pious.

2) Obama speaks about his Christian faith and says he was attracted to it because he likes the idea of being his brothers’ and sisters’ keeper. In a word: socialism!


“So I came to my Christian faith later in life, and it was because the precepts of Jesus Christ spoke to me in terms of the kind of life that I would want to lead—being my brothers’ and sisters’ keeper, treating others as they would treat me.”


I have no interest in questioning Obama’s religious faith, which I believe to be sincere. It is only fair to note, too, that some of what he said was right on the money. But Obama’s answer causes one to suspect that he would be among those who, as in the Pew poll that is also in the news today, would have trouble answering basic questions about his own religion. The Golden Rule is a fine idea, but it is not a principle of Christianity. Nor did Jesus ever say that we should be our brothers’ and sisters’ keepers; Obama apparently referred to the story of Cain and Abel.

This is the point I want to make: Biblical precepts are often twisted by liberals to support socialism. Jesus was not a socialist. On the contrary, he explicitly disclaimed any political agenda.

Oh really? I happen to have Jesus right here:

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/28/10 at 11:01 PM

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaRelijun

Newt Gingrich Not Totally Certain Libs Can Defeat Themselves in November

Won’t he feel like an ass when he realizes we’re not sitting out the midterms to elect his damn Tea Party? We’re doing it to send a message, you stupid douche.

I can’t wait to see the look on his face.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/28/10 at 09:57 PM

Categories: PoliticsElection '10Manic ProgressivesNuttersTeabaggery

Deader Horses, Bigger Sticks: Why I’m Joining the Suicidal Left

What—you wanted a post with that?

Nah. That would totally fuck with my multidimensional meta-meme.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/28/10 at 02:44 PM

Categories: PoliticsBedwettersManic Progressives

Hippie Punch Drunk Love

Some DFHPs complained about the last song. Fine.

[Editor’s note I: A failure to appreciate Love indicates you’ve been the victim of soul snatchers.]

[Editor’s note II: Anyone who says “Oh, it’s that song by The Damned,” gets a completely apolitical punch in the junk for making me feel old. Be warned.]

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 09/28/10 at 02:00 PM

First they came for the hippies…

Today I caught my middle-schooler burning the Obama t-shirt she begged me to buy for her during the 2008 election season. Holy Christ, I thought—can it all be true?

Are a handful of liberal bloggers destroying the Obama presidency so effectively that even 7th graders can’t stand the sight of him anymore?

Or maybe Biden’s latest haymaker to the hippie snotlocker was so cruel that it permanently alienated even the children and grandchildren of hippies?

Turns out there was a simpler explanation…

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/28/10 at 07:33 AM

Monday, September 27, 2010

Music hath charms to soothe the savage hippie puncher

To soften progressives, or bend a knotted firebagger.

[Editor’s note: If you did not have trouble keeping your ass in the chair after 2:27 you’re probably ... How shall I put this? Vitally Challenged. Where shall we send flowers?]

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 09/27/10 at 09:30 PM

Greta haz questions!

Was Greta Van Susteren always as dumb as a bag of toenail clippings or has she picked up a contact-dumb from working at Fox News? I have a vague recollection of her covering the OJ trial and not seeming notably stupider than the other network jackals.

But that was a very long time ago. Perhaps memory fails.

Van Susteren’s blog typically reads as if it were authored by a 14-year-old girl. Until the topic turns to Sarah Palin or The First Dood, and then she writes like an 11-year-old covering a Justin Bieber concert on a three-day sugar binge.

Greta is hosting a Harmonic Douchebag Convergence on her show tonight—both Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh will appear. She solicits reader opinions:


My questions didn’t make it past the moderator. (Limbaugh: Do you know where I can score some Oxycontin? Palin: Do you have a set cash goal, or will you just continue to milk the rubes to the last nickel?)

What would you ask Fake Queen Esther and Mean Uncle Fester if you had the chance?

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/27/10 at 04:37 PM

Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryOur Stupid Media

The Partnership of Parental Propagandists

So this happened over the weekend:


Yes, there really is an organization that calls itself—without a hint of irony, mind you!—“The Sisterhood of Mommy Patriots” (wiping away snot and socialism with the Hankie of Holiness since 2009!).

Its founding mombies were inspired by Glenn Beck to push aside the tuna sandwiches and juice boxes on their kitchen counters and launch a cyber-mombie resistance cell to beat back the Kenyan Kommies:

Just like the Minute Men of the Revolutionary War, these Minute Mommies are poised to act as a rapid strike force whenever the boot of tyranny presses against their children’s necks. For example, the network allows them to deploy at a moment’s notice to pester school officials to exempt young Snotleigh from being forced to view the Kenyan Usurper’s back-to-school message, lest the anti-colonial commie slip in subliminal messages about the NEW WORLD ORDER between admonitions to “work hard in school,” etc.

I actually infiltrated this organization quite some time ago. I wanted to see what the teatards were up to without having to actually, you know, come into close physical proximity to them. There’s a fairly lengthy and intrusive application process, which ascertains the prospective member’s theological status, etc.

But it was too boring to keep up with for long—the discussion threads are mostly about stuff like how to make a flag cake with box mix, food coloring and marshmallows, and even topics like that quickly degenerate into howling denunciations of fellow mommy patriots for insufficient patriotism.

It was a fruitless endeavor whose only recompense was the conviction that eventually these people’s children will rebel and become lesbian puppeteers or something. But no one can say Palin doesn’t know how to kiss blogger ass, so there’s that.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/27/10 at 07:01 AM

Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryYouTubidity

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