Thursday, September 02, 2010

Impacted Wisdom: With Great Teeth Comes Great Responsibility

Chicago dentist William DeJean thinks four years is too long to wait between Routine Electoral Check-Ups, so he’s launching a one-man campaign to draft Hillary Clinton to run for President in 2012.

While many people have questioned his timing, his case for replacing Obama at the top of the Dem ticket is by far the most compelling one I’ve heard to date:

I’m a dentist and I don’t think this country is headed in the right direction.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/02/10 at 05:06 PM
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I don’t want to pity Jan Brewer

But holy fuck, she makes Palin sound like Cicero. If you can watch this short clip without cringing in vicarious shame for a flailing fellow human being—even if she is a crooked, divisive cow—you’re made of sterner stuff than I am:

[H/T: Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/02/10 at 12:08 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersElection '10NuttersTeabaggeryYouTubidity

Joe Miller’s Shamanic Vision: God, Magical Nationalism, the Invisible Hand and Three Magic Beans

Move over, Don Juan Matus. Joe Miller is about to explain the nagual and tonal of the Tea Party’s “Yankee Way of Knowledge.”

He’s well-spoken, went to Yale and wears a suit. Otherwise, he’s a standard-issue Bircher from 1967, pitching 1930s-style nationalist chauvinism, Robber-Barron Rules of prosperity and a denial of the necessity of Global Engagement that became untenable with the invention of radio, the rise of cheap international shipping, the proliferation of computers throughout the developing nations and the discovery that China has a monopoly on the world’s supply of the Rare Earth elements that make all of our gizmos work.

I know it’s only a :90 clip—but, Christ: Does this yokel have any policy positions that don’t boil down to all the Freedom-Good-Obama-Bad power-stones he can fit in his Feathered Bag of Exceptionalism?

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/02/10 at 10:23 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Slurp, slurp

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A newly designated protected class, “T-Party Americans,” got a Snowflake Snooki shout-out for being praised by a wingnut radio talk show host. Truly it is a remarkable thing when an objective, disinterested, nonpartisan figure like Levin recognizes the contributions of a patriotic, grassroots, nonpartisan group like “T-Party Americans.”

Kinda puts that whole “Nobel Peace Prize” thing into perspective, huh?

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/02/10 at 08:36 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

This is NOT a cat!

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This dog weighs nearly 50 pounds, but she likes to perch atop the sofa like a cat. What a disgrace to her noble species.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/01/10 at 08:34 PM
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Categories: Critters

Hostage Situation: Discovery Channel Building, Silver Spring, MD

Asian man with gun and explosives has taken at least one hostage. Building has been evacuated. Police are communicating with the perp.

This could be his list of demands (confirmed).

This may be his Web site (confirmed).

Click here for live stream of local news coverage from WUSA9 TV.

UPDATE: WUSA9 is showing a head-shot for “James Lee” that’s identical to the “mrfifteen” Gravatar from the Save the Planet Protest site. We may have a match.

UPDATE 2: Well, I guess that’s him. He seems to have a problem with Humans, Civilization, War and Greed, and a soft spot for fuzzy animals. The good news is that nobody can hang the “Liberal” label on a guy who writes stuff like this:

5. Immigration: Programs must be developed to find solutions to stopping ALL immigration pollution and the anchor baby filth that follows that. Find solutions to stopping it. Call for people in the world to develop solutions to stop it completely and permanently. Find solutions FOR these countries so they stop sending their breeding populations to the US and the world to seek jobs and therefore breed more unwanted pollution babies. FIND SOLUTIONS FOR THEM TO STOP THEIR HUMAN GROWTH AND THE EXPORTATION OF THAT DISGUSTING FILTH! (The first world is feeding the population growth of the Third World and those human families are going to where the food is! They must stop procreating new humans looking for nonexistant jobs!)

He’s strictly a Buchannanite on that score.

UPDATE 3: Lee has a MySpace page.

UPDATE 4: Police report that Mr. Lee is no longer upset about anything. All hostages safe.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/01/10 at 02:17 PM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsNutters

Important analysis of the Murkowski concession speech

Murkowski lost because of YOU, Hat Lady.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/01/10 at 12:33 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersTeabaggeryYouTubidity

Kurt Weill Responds to Betty Cracker’s Post on Rachel Maddow

...by way of Wall of Voodoo’s inestimable Stan Ridgway.

There’s always a good reason for war. Or, conversely—Who needed a reason in The New American Century?

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/01/10 at 11:23 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersBushCoNuttersWar In Error

Credit default

During his speech last night, your preznit showed insufficient gratitude to Bush for his role in our Excellent Iraqi Adventure. Sensing that this would be the case even before the speech was delivered, prominent wingnuts preemptively dialed the Butt-Hurt Advisory Level up to Red.

However, the color-coded warning system reached unprecedented Throbbing Purple status once the last frame of the speech was viewed and the bunch who spent eight years polishing Bush’s knob realized that the Kenyan really, really, really wasn’t going admit the Sun Tzu of Crawford was Right About The Surge.

But fear not, wingnuts: Last night, Rachel Maddow gave Bush and his enablers the full measure of credit they deserve:

I’m left wondering how on earth Republicans haul their ginormous stones around without the assistance of extra-large wheelbarrows.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/01/10 at 10:38 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaBedwettersBushCoNuttersWar In Error

Beck’s 40-Day/40-Night Challenge: Eat Whatever You Want and STILL Lose 50 IQ Points, Effortlessly

This isn’t nearly as funny as Betty’s video...but, man, is it fucked-up.

I’m still not sure what you win at the end of the 40 days…but I get the impression that if you don’t do what Glenn says, God will kill you.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/01/10 at 09:56 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersTeabaggeryRelijun

The stupid…it doesn’t burn…

It lolls around on folding chairs and gibbers incoherently about scary Muslins and uppity black men:

The stupid have always been with us, of course. But such a concentrated mass isn’t often seen. A well-timed asteroid strike could have raised the average IQ in the US by at least 10 points. Thanks for nothing, God!

[H/T: Tbogg]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/01/10 at 09:04 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersTeabaggery

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