The Virginia House recently passed legislation introducing a new alternative license plate design that will enable drivers in all 50 states to quickly identify vehicles operated by possibly unbalanced individuals in the possession of concealed firearms and an unread pocket copy of the Constitution.
The runner-up plate design, which featured the slogan “If You’re Close Enough to Read This, You’re a Gawddamn Commie Kenyan Muslophile,” was rejected by a narrow vote as “a safety hazard for slow readers and the near-vision impaired.”
Tough morning for Chris Wallace, when Sarah Palin defended Alaska Senate candidate Joe Miller, whose bodyguards recently handcuffed and detained a local journalist for asking uncomfortable questions about alleged past election ethics violations, which Miller was subsequently forced to confess. Palin also claimed to possess an audio recording of employees of a local CBS affiliate—whom she condemned as “corrupt bastards”—conspiring to discredit Miller with muckraking news coverage. Finally, she expressed her outrage at the temporary removal of Alaskan conservative talk-show host Dan Fagan, after he urged his listeners to file fake registrations as write-in candidates for US Senate, in order to confuse voters who are planning to cast a write-in ballot for Lisa Murkowski.
To his credit, Wallace seemed uncomfortable from the get-go with having to interview Palin, and at several points had the same facial expression Johnny Carson used to make when Jim Fowler handed him a urinating coati mundi. Even watching the unedited exchange, however, it was hard to tell whether Chris was more shocked by Palin’s use of the word “bastards,” or the fact that she had the audacity to call someone else “corrupt.”
UPDATE: “Corrupt Bastards” is the new “Death Panels.” Check out Snooki’s tweet below the fold.
Sarah Palin hates Joe Miller’s rotten guts. (I suspect it is she who is spiking his beard-mousse with Nair.) And who can blame her? She plucks him out of obscurity to serve as the instrument of her revenge against Lisa Murkowski, and how does he repay her?
By refusing to say she’s qualified to be president, that’s how. Todd was PISSED. But Snowflake Snooki’s gotta dance with the boy whut she brung. It would be pretty embarrassing if her hand-picked protégé blew up and delivered a Senate seat to McAdams or Murkowski, revealing the Grisly Mama as toothless on the tunda.
So she’s gotta keep tryin’. But the dam of self-interest is having a tough time keeping the reservoir of resentment contained, hence the following:
Translation: You fucking loser.
Miller gamely replied:
Translation: Just wait until this fucking election is over!
That’s a dangerous road to go down, so Palin went full-metal Heathers on Murkowski instead, accusing her of wanting to shutdown her (Palin’s) Facebook page (really) and stamp out free speech nationwide. An excerpt:
Individuals like Dan Fagan have a fundamental right to speak their minds without threats from the incumbent Senator from Alaska. It is hard to find a constitutional right Americans cherish more than the right to free speech. This was a right Joe Miller, as a decorated combat veteran – a tank commander tested in battle, was willing to die to defend. Dan Fagan has not always agreed with me, but I will gladly defend his right to speak freely on his radio show, which he has often used to criticize me. In fact, Fagan has actually used his radio show to attack and insult me, my husband, my children, and my family in just about every way possible. He was especially insulting to my son, who left for a war zone to defend Fagan’s right to attack our family.
The suggestion that Miller and Palin’s son were defending free speech rather than Halliburton’s right to profit from Iraqi oil is one of the milder lies in the post. I’m hoping the increasing level of hissiness on Palin’s Facebook page and Twitter feed has an inverse relationship to Miller’s electoral fortunes.
This is a sticky open thread for all things related to the Rally That Will Halt the Republican Wave and Roll It Back Out to the Sargasso Sea of Processed American Cultural Cheese That Spawned It.
We have ‘Roasters en route and on the ground already. I’ll be adding news links and updates as they hit the wire. Let’s all join together to pre-emptively re-take America from the babbling yahoos who are trying to take it back from us!
Interesting discussion over at BooMan’s joint about Bill Clinton’s attempts to persuade Democrat Kendrick Meek to bow out of the Florida senate race and endorse Republican-turned independent Charlie Crist.
Some speculate that Clinton got pissed when Meek backed out of the deal (if indeed one was ever struck) and leaked the story in a fit of pique. Could be.
I don’t think so, though. I think Clinton genuinely believes word of his attempt to swing the election to Crist (which is the top story down here) will be enough to persuade fence-sitters to vote for Crist and keep Rubio out.
Sometimes—even with Bill Clinton—a cigar is just a cigar.
On Sunday every wingnut blog will be filled up with pictures of garbage strewn about the National Mall. The end.
p.s. If you want to say hello at the Wonkette party or elsewhere in DC (TBD), email me at rumproastblog—at—gmail.com. Please include your Rumproast alias. Also, check out our Twitter feed and (maybe) this blog for pictures and updates from the rally.
Fox News personalities know race-baiting. They have much to share with us about the practice.
But the wellspring of their vast knowledge on the topic may surprise you: It’s not that they’re employed by an outfit that is on pace to shatter the combined career race-baiting records of Jesse Helms and George Wallace in a single election season.
Rather, it is rooted in their experience as pasty Republicans in the fists of an uppity black dude:
See, if you drive a car into a ditch and then don’t help put it back on the road, you’re still entitled to drive or ride shotgun. And everyone knows “middle-class” is code for “blackity black,” so Barack Obama was basically saying The New Black Panthers get to ride in the front seat while he drives and Dana Parino, Sean Hannity, Brian Kilmeade, Steve Doocy and the Terrorist Fist Bump Lady all have to sit in the “White-Colored Only” section of the car-bus.
It’s an outrage. But they shall overcome. Someday.
On Sunday, a Kentuckian named Tim Profitt did a dumb, unfortunate thing, stepping or stomping on Lauren Valle’s shoulder or head, thus interrupting her satire
Yes, bad luck for poor Profitt! How unfortunate that his foot should have contacted the person of Lauren Valle in some unpleasant manner! “Unfortunate” is getting quite a work-out as a Paul-approved vanilla stand-in for more upsetting descriptions that might imply some kind of agency or ascribe malicious intent to the agent. No, Mr. Profitt was not roused by hatred to curb-stomp a petite young woman; his action was just misprised as a strategy and the goddess Fortuna did not smile upon him regarding the placement of his pedal extremity in his zeal to restrain the possible assassin wielding her weapon, an 14 X 17” piece of oaktag.