Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Christian Taliban Pressures Smithsonian into Removing Surrealist AIDS Video

Long story short: The Smithonian’s National Portait Gallery is hosting a privately-funded exhibition of icky LGBT “art” and “media.” The installations included an edited, four-minute version of the late David Wojnarowicz’ video, “A Fire in My Belly,” an enormously disturbing image collage that includes glimpses of male masturbation, fake blood, Mexican mummies and A CRUCIFIX WITH ANTS ON IT.

Fast forward: The Catholic League freaks. Boehner and Cantor threaten the Smithsonian’s public financing. The Smithsonian caves, and Christendom is spared the sight of ants on Jesus (who, in real life, endured much worse than ants)...although visitors can still see Naked Brothers Kissing and Ellen DeGeneres grabbing her breasts, which are also offensive to Christians but don’t impugn the Catholic worship of graven images, which offends only God.

Thanks to everyone who sat out the midterms, hoping that Republican victories would chasten the wayward Dems!

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 11/30/10 at 08:41 PM
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Conservatives Rally to Block Unemployment Extension; Urge Jobless to Consumer-Test Brownies for Cash

Illinois Senator Mark Kirk to soon-to-be-hopeless Americans: “We eat the pig, and then together we burn.”

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 11/30/10 at 05:40 PM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsNuttersTeabaggery

PreSpun History

View the CSPAN broadcast of the report on DADT.

Speakers: Secretary of Defense Robert Gates Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Adm. Michael Mullin Defense Department General Counsel Jeh C. Johnson co-chair Comprehensive Review Working Group Gen. Carter Ham, commander U.S. Army Europe co-chair Comprehensive Review Working Group.

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Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 11/30/10 at 02:00 PM
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Categories: LGBT

Palin & Kristol Agree: “Whack” Julian Assange

Sure, it’s obscene when Obama invokes Executive Authority to assassinate American Muslim Terrorists hiding abroad or when ICE shuts down overseas Copyright Pirates...but, what the hell, this WikiLeaks guy is a right royal pain in the ass.

Following Palin’s link to Kristol:

Why can’t we act forcefully against WikiLeaks? Why can’t we use our various assets to harass, snatch or neutralize Julian Assange and his collaborators, wherever they are? Why can’t we disrupt and destroy WikiLeaks in both cyberspace and physical space, to the extent possible?

Thank God we have Unelected Conservatives with the Moral Authority of the Constitution to decide who gets extra-judicially erased, or I’d never have a peaceful night’s sleep. 

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 11/30/10 at 01:43 PM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsNuttersSarah Palin

Senate Passes Food Safety Bill, Rejects Earmarks Ban: Liberalism One Step Closer to Total Domination

We control the Banks. Health Care and the Automotive Industry. Now, let’s see how feisty the Tea Partiers feel after we choke off their food supply. Special thanks to RINO traitors Alexander (R-TN), Brown (R-MA), Burr (R-NC), Collins (R-ME), Enzi (R-WY), Grassley (R-IA), Gregg (R-NH), Johanns (R-NE), Kirk (R-IL), LeMieux (R-FL), Lugar (R-IN), Murkowski (R-AK), Snowe (R-ME), Vitter (R-LA) and Voinovich (R-OH)

This still has to get through the House, but with luck we’ll be able to bribe and bully the foot-draggers into making Glenn Beck’s Worst Nightmare come true.

Bwa-ha-ha, etc.

[UPDATE]: House votes to release $4.6 billion court-ordered award in discrimination case brought by Black and Indian farmers against the USDA. Contrary to reports on HillBuzz (and statements by nutso Iowa Congressional Rep Steve King), this does not mean that every black person in America will receive $57,000 in Obama Claus “stealth reparations” this Christmas. It’s a fucking lawsuit, OK?

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 11/30/10 at 12:25 PM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsNutters

He Hate Thee

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This weekend, Buffalo Bills receiver Steve Johnson dropped a pass that would have resulted in a game-winning touchdown in overtime against the Steelers. He blamed God:

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That’s kind of refreshing since athletes like to credit Jesus for wins; shouldn’t He get the blame for losses too? However, after getting raked over the coals all over Twitter, Johnson issued a clarification:

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As a young fellow, Johnson can be forgiven for not knowing this, but he really should be blaming an even Higher Power:

The truth is out there, Stevie…

Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/30/10 at 11:00 AM
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Categories: RelijunSportsYouTubidity

Survey says…

Overwhelming majority of U.S. Servicemembers think homophobes are full of shit [via AssPress]:

Officials familiar with the 10-month study’s results have said a clear majority of respondents don’t care if gays serve openly, with 70 percent predicting that lifting the ban would have positive, mixed or no results. The officials spoke on condition of anonymity because the findings hadn’t been released.

[snip]

The survey is based on responses by some 115,000 troops and 44,200 military spouses to more than a half million questionnaires distributed last summer. The study group, led by Pentagon General Counsel Jeh Johnson and Army Gen. Carter Ham, also visited various military bases and held town hall-style meetings with service members.

Senate hearings should start soon, C-SPAN will air the report on the survey at 2.

I need a big bottle of Pepto. But only because drinking heavily at work is frowned on by my employers.

Prediction: At least one fReichtard accuses the U.S. military of hating America.

 

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 11/30/10 at 08:30 AM
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Categories: LGBTPolitics

Monday, November 29, 2010

Shorter HillBuzz

Shorter HillBuzz:

The TSA (Team Soros/Alinsky) is intentionally ruining the sperms of white, successful, straight patriots with DEADLY BALL RADIATION so that liberals, Islam and homosexuals can take over America.

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Posted by Kevin K. on 11/29/10 at 09:59 PM
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Categories: LGBTPoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryPUMAsSkull Hampers

Sarah Palin Signs Book for Fan Who Can Lick His Own Eyebrows


(AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 11/29/10 at 04:17 PM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsNuttersSarah Palin

Inexplicable! (I do not think that word means what you think it means…)

Palin adds her homespun wisdom to the topic o’ the day:

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Actually, Palin didn’t stop the leaks—excerpts from her dumb book were published and laughed at all over the internet, including here. But she did waste a court’s time to make a blogger take down a post for a week, so it’s exactly the same thing.

In that spirit, I offer these additional Sarah-gisms to point out what a clueless fool Big Gubmint is compared to a plucky mom from Wasilla:

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I guess she told them!

Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/29/10 at 02:54 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryOur Stupid Media

The most Randian Thanksgiving essay ever

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NRO provided a megaphone to a variety of wingnut thunkers and politicians over the long weekend to express the items for which they’re grateful on Thanksgiving Day. Featured essayists included Boehner, Palin, Victor Davis Octavius Aurelius Hanson, et al.

Most went for the low-hanging fruit, giving thanks for Jeebus, soldiers, the US Constitution, American Exceptionalism, etc. But the Manhattan Institute’s Heather Mac Donald had an interesting take:

I am grateful for businessmen, those busy strivers who, in order to bring a product or service into existence, have the guts to risk humiliating rejection by consumers or crushing failure in the intricate world of supply chains.

Behind every screw, filament, and fiber that composes the dizzying luxury of the modern world lies some unknown entrepreneur who actually managed to persuade potentially fractious, lazy employees to work together for a common goal. Profit is the least that businessmen deserve; they deserve gratitude — and not preening contempt from grandstanding politicians and establishment bohemians.

Mac Donald bills herself as a “non-practicing lawyer” and “political commentator.” Odds are she’s never had a real job and is blissfully unaware that most screws, filaments and fibers these days are made by Chinese communists.

PS: Ms. Mac Donald admonishes you feckless, hungover drones who are reading this blog at work to get back to making widgets or whatever instead of taking heartless advantage of your boss’s internet access and good will. (Those of you who can still find work in the Masters of the Universe-wrecked economy, that is.)

Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/29/10 at 09:58 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersTeabaggeryOur Stupid Media

Sad Hillary Clinton sent abroad to mop up WikiLeaks mess

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Naturally the clean-up job falls to the woman. Another stellar photo selection courtesy of Fox News!

Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/29/10 at 07:19 AM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsOur Stupid Media

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Leslie Nielsen 1926-2010

First the WikiLeaks core dump, now this. The world is getting scads less funny by the minute.

[UPDATE]: Might as well include the “Hospital Scene,” just for the added pleasure of John Houseman…and watching OJ get smacked around in the ICU. It’s below the fold:

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Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 11/28/10 at 10:10 PM
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Categories: MoviesMovie News

Satan tried to make me post a Creed video

But after an epic battle of Good Not So Horrible, Considering vs. Evil, he settled for this.

You’re welcome.

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 11/28/10 at 07:41 PM
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Saturday, November 27, 2010

My Reality’s Better! A Peaceful Delusion For The Season

            I All Better! I Stop Now.

Kim Jong-il, having gotten all the negative attention the dictator of a tenth-rate nuclear power could wish for, agrees to cease trading insults and ICBMs with the South, and accepts the Obama Administration’s offer of fruit baskets for everybody, and an invitation to show Pulgasari, his home-made-with-the-help-of-the famous-director-and-his-wife-whom-he-kidnapped, monster movie at the WH.

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Posted by Mrs. Polly on 11/27/10 at 07:34 PM
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Categories: ImagesMessylaneousMoviesNewsPoliticsNuttersSkull Hampers

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