Friday, January 21, 2011

Friday Night Synthetic Clown Replacement Therapy


The Juggalo News Network - Watch more Funny Videos

TRIGGER ALERT: Rough language, sub-culture stereotypes and casual sexism played for gratuitous shock value. But it’s clowns, so it’s OK. And it’s Friday.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 01/21/11 at 08:34 PM
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Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsOur Stupid Media

Things that make you go “Hmmm” No. 324

The Associated Press
Friday, January 21, 2011; 7:55 AM

Austrian authorities are searching for a bank robber who uses an unusual disguise: He wears a Barack Obama mask during his holdups.

Police say the man, nicknamed the “Obama Robber” by local media, is wanted for six heists since 2008. The most recent took place Thursday in the hamlet of Handenberg, where the Obama-resembling suspect made off with an undisclosed amount of money after threatening bank employees with a gun.

Uh-huh. From the scant evidence, how do they know this is a mask? After all, the guy has form and the modus operandi sounds familiar:

A hapless bank robber fled empty-handed when he turned up at the branch - on early closing day.

Baffled staff - taking part in a training session - watched in amusement as he hammered on the door with his gun demanding to be let in, say police in Kirchheim, Austria.

The would-be crook - wearing a Barack Obama mask - eventually fled to his getaway car without gaining a cent on Wednesday.

I’m going to have to wait for Jim Hoft and the Gateway Pundit investigation team to research the evidence before I form an opinion one way or the other.

Posted by YAFB on 01/21/11 at 10:23 AM
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Categories: NewsSkull Hampers

With an “asset” like this, who needs impediments?

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Politics Daily correspondent Suzi Parker wrote a piece last week entitled: “Sarah Palin’s Secret Asset: Cyber-Messenger Rebecca Mansour.” Mansour (codename: RAM) is the Conservatives4Palin.com founder-turned-paid-Palin-aide who incurred widespread ridicule last week for claiming the gun sights on Palin’s now infamous “Take Back the 20” map were “surveyor’s symbols.”

Parker’s piece contained some interesting insights into Mansour’s thinking—provided you consider a crushing, black hole-like absence of self-awareness interesting.

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 01/21/11 at 09:58 AM
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Thursday, January 20, 2011

FLOTUS Literally Wants To Throw Hard Working Americans Under The Bus

via [holds nose] Drudge Report.

As if it’s not bad enough that MO is trying to snatch cookies out of the mouths of school children, now she wants us to walk to work so we can all be smooshed to death by cars!!11!!!1

Well, to be fair, some pedestrian deaths can’t be laid directly at the feet of FLOTUS:

Other factors include distracted drivers, distracted pedestrians and what Adkins calls “aggressive pedestrians.”

“People who are not crossing where they are supposed to.  They’re running in front of cars.  We’ve even had examples of pedestrians getting out on the interstate,” said Adkins.

Alcohol is also factor in increased pedestrian deaths.

You think?  So maybe Michelle’s real error is in treating the American public like grown ups and not saying “Now don’t walk to work drunk or on the Interstate.  And be sure to look both ways before you cross the street!”

Think I’m classing this silly kerfluffle in the annals of “can they get ANY stupider?”.  I think we need a new tag.

Posted by marindenver on 01/20/11 at 03:31 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersElection '08Our Stupid Media

An Open Letter to Minnesota’s 6th Congressional District

Dear Minnesota’s 6th Congressional District:

I don’t want to be telling you about your business or anything, but seriously, what the fuck?

Like most Americans (and a good percentage of yourselves, I’ll wager), I was blissfully unaware of Congresswoman Bachmann’s existence until Obama was elected president, which apparently caused her to turn the crazy up to 11 and rip off the knob.

Shit happens, Minnesota’s 6th Congressional District, and we could have let bygones be bygones. But then you went and returned this braying nincompoop to Congress—after she’d demonstrated repeatedly on TV that she’s one Red Scare away from taking up residence in a Minneapolis dumpster and leaping out at passing schoolchildren to scream about Alger Hiss.

Why, Minnesota’s 6th Congressional District, WHY? You can say it’s none of my business since I don’t live in Minnesota, but I’m sorry, you made it my business when you sent this barking loon back to the US Congress.

Do you think Bachmann gives a shit about getting federal aid for snow removal, badger remediation or shit like that? Hell no, Minnesota’s 6th Congressional District; she’s just using you to get face time on Hannity. And bringing shame and dishonor on the Land o’ Ten Thousand Lakes.

So thanks, Minnesota’s 6th Congressional District, for extending the Michele Bachmann Cirque du Stoopid for another two-year run. Fuckers!

[Please note this rant does not apply to Minnesota’s 6th Congressional District voters who voted for the opponent of Congresswoman Michele Bachmann.]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 01/20/11 at 12:27 PM
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El Flushbowl on Hu’s speech

Did you know that, in the land of China, they speak a strange and inscrutable language? It’s this whole other country:

Tip o’ the chapeau (and a combat pay donation) to Media Matters for sifting through that quivering, gelatinous ball of hate’s verbal excretions on a daily basis. Bless their hearts.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 01/20/11 at 06:58 AM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsBedwettersNuttersOur Stupid MediaPolisnarkYouTubidity

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Et Tu, Priebus?

via TPM

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Never underestimate Michael Steele’s ability to foster delusions of grandeur.  Reince Priebus is (was?) a friend of his.  Reince Priebus ran against him for chair of the RNC and won.  Therefore Michael Steele = Caesar and Reince Priebus = Brutus.

“I know exactly how Caesar felt,” Steele says, without a hint of irony. “It is what it is.” He claims that Priebus had been planning to defect for six, seven, eight months before announcing a bid for the chairmanship. Steele was blindsided. “I trust my friends. Well, I guess the adage is right. In Washington, you should get a dog…We put a lot of resources in Wisconsin over the last two years…that’s what you do for [the] team.”

Mr. Steele I served with Julius Caesar, I knew Julius Caesar, Julius Caesar was a friend of mine.  Mr. Steele, you’re no Julius Caesar!*

However we will still have Michael Steele to kick around - he apparently intends to stay in politics.

*OK I didn’t.  But I did watch Rome on HBO.

Posted by marindenver on 01/19/11 at 03:30 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNutters

Hillary Praises Obama’s Economic and Foreign Policy Leadership, Says He “Rescued” Global Economy

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Plus she tells Dick Cheney to go smoke the sizzling meat log. PUMA OUCHA!

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 01/19/11 at 01:18 PM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsBarack ObamaHillary Clinton

Wednesday Morning Music: Perfume Genius’ “Lookout, Lookout”

Not that anyone asked (bastards!), but my favorite album of 2010 was Perfume Genius’ grossly underrated debut Learning, one of the best (and rawest) musical depictions of the tortured soul since Neil Young’s epic Tonight’s the Night.

read the whole post »

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/19/11 at 07:35 AM
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Categories: MusicMusic VideosYouTubidity

Trent Franks Sweats Bullets!

It’s a simple enough question that Lawrence O’ Donnell had for Arizona Congressman Trent Franks:

“Don’t you wish Jared Loughner’s gun held fewer bullets?”

But what should fall under the category of questions that answer themselves is not so simple when the interviewee is NRA beneficiary and addled Birther Trent Franks.  The congressman’s agonized contortions on the pin in O’ Donnell’s specimen tray (“Family Moranidae Genus Teabagii Evasivus Evasivus “) make for terrific horror-show viewing:

read the whole post »

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/19/11 at 03:50 AM
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Categories: NewsPoliticsNuttersTeabaggerySkull Hampers

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Bomb planted along MLK Day Parade Route [Updated]

Please send your condolences to the real intended victims [h/t Balloon Juice]:

The Spokane office of the FBI confirmed late Tuesday morning that a suspicious package found along the route of the Unity Parade on Monday morning was a credible threat that had the potential to cause “multiple casualties.”

I call on America to deplore this senseless attempted attack on various fRightWing fistulas.

read the whole post »

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 01/18/11 at 09:16 PM
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We won’t have Joe Lieberman to kick around anymore

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According to an “insider” report, Droopy Dawg is packing it in; he will not stand for reelection in 2012. He’s scheduled a press conference to announce his future plans tomorrow. This raises a couple of troubling questions:

1) Who will dust John McCain’s wattles and fluff Lindsey Graham’s Bette Davis commemorative needlepoint throw pillows?

2) Will the WrestleMania lady run again?

Lieberman redeemed himself somewhat with his efforts on the DADT repeal, but I’ll never forget what a colossal douchebag he was during the 2008 election or what a gigantic, throbbing hemorrhoid he was during the health care thingie.

If this rumor proves true, good riddance to the sanctimonious, mewling windbag.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 01/18/11 at 05:40 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '08St. McSameElection '12Health CareNuttersPolisnarkRelijun

Feisty Presidential Palin vs. Unjustly-Maligned Private Citizen Palin: How to Tell the Difference

No, this isn’t a gratuitous Snooki slam. As a marketing guy, I just couldn’t help noticing the subtle shifts in staging between Sarah’s defiant “blood libel” video and her subsequent coddled interview with Sean Hannity

In any event, you have to admit it’s one hell of a versatile fireplace that can project both ferocious leadership and petulant victimhood, with only a modest change of set dressings.

President Palin—No earrings, resolute expression, “Oval Office” prop flag.

Private Citizen Palin—Earrings, Cat Ballou “you’ll-never-make-me-cry” face, no flag.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 01/18/11 at 02:36 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah Palin

Tea bubble?

So, it looks like the Koch Industries-sponsored “movement” featuring serpent flag-waving rebranded white evangelical Christians in tri-cornered hats and led mainly by 90s movement-conservative politicians may lack staying power:

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Hmmm. According to the media narrative, these folks singlehandedly overturned the House and would be a political force for decades to come. Maybe their meteoric rise was stalled by the weight of the hard-right crazies who glommed onto the movement right out of the chute?

Anyway, hopefully Michele Bachmann didn’t go for the big discount and order thousands of boxes of official Tea Party Caucus stationery. It’s looking less like something to steep in a kettle and more like a flash in the pan.

[H/T: Sully—poll PDF here]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 01/18/11 at 12:44 PM
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Tuesday Morning Music: Tiny Tim’s “The Other Side”

I don’t know what he was smoking, but I’m kinda glad I didn’t have any.

(h/t to lacp in the earlier thread for provoking me to post this.)

read the whole post »

Posted by YAFB on 01/18/11 at 09:06 AM
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