Thursday, June 30, 2011

Repub$ to Obama:  Leave the Jet Set Alooooone!!!!

OMG, the Rethugs are livid, livid  I tell you! that our dick of a President has proposed eliminating tax preferences on hard working, job creating owners of private jets!!11!1

And that mean Kent Jones person on the Rachel Maddow blog is making FUN of this as though there was something so very WRONG about owning your very own corporate jet.  I mean who would want to want to fly commercial if they didn’t absolutely have to, right?

Anyway, according to Senator Mike Crapo (whoever that is) this is nothing but “code” for massive tax increases!  Marco Rubio (who I have heard of) pointed out, oh so rightly!, that Obummer is just trying to stick it to the rich again and heeere we go with CLASS WARFARE! 

Everyone is just so bent out of shape.  I mean Rick Santorum even used the words “ugly”, “divisive” and “sanctimonious” and concluded that:

Obama’s targeting of corporate jet owners defies the candidate’s pledge to bring Americans together.

YES, because if uber-rich and icky poor Americans can’t march hand in hand reveling in the right to rapid write-offs on our (well, their) corporate jets then what kind of America do we really have?  I mean, RILLY!

Posted by marindenver on 06/30/11 at 06:24 PM

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaNuttersTeabaggeryPolisnark

Palin Conspicuously Not Quoted in Interview with “Quotable Rogue” Author

Lost in this morning’s “dick” frenzy was Scarborough’s interview with the fellow who cobbled together this remainder-ready collection of rare, grammatically-correct bursts of static from Planet Refudiate.

Lewis insists that Sarah has emitted a lot of memorable words — he just couldn’t remember any of them, even though he, like, “wrote” this “book.”

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/30/11 at 02:28 PM

Categories: PoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryOur Stupid Media

Too Many Dicks Spoil The Froth

Did somebody mention Dickishness? Why yes!

Mark Halperin’s propensity for phallic phoolishness is hardly news to Rumproasters, but after Time’s Beltway insider casually called President Obama “a dick” this morning, the rest of the world caught up. Now Halperin is eating his words, and has been suspended indefinitely.

While our silly culture often seems rife with pearl-clutching and forced apologies, Halperin is on the record that little stray remarks like “if jobs are lost so be it” aren’t really important in the Giant Scheme and all, because, you know, both sides and so on!  So it is indeed with sadness that we see his unique voice stilled, and look forward to the end of his suspension,  so that he can get back to defending the defenseless as only he can do.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 06/30/11 at 09:51 AM

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaOur Stupid MediaTelevision

Glenn Beck Leaves Fox to Spend More Time with His Tragic Career Arc

First, he was an obnoxious asshole who once called a critic’s wife on the phone to mock her recent miscarriage on-air. Then he turned into Howard Beale with Asperger’s. Today he exits Fox’s 5PM slot to launch a subscriber-only “Jonestown on the Internet” where he can careen down the corridors of madness unimpeded by corporate management or crippling sponsor boycotts.

I’m liking Kiefer Sutherland to star in the biopic of Beck’s long, sad slide into paranoid isolation and his inevitable attempt to kidnap a sitting President. Anyone have a better casting call?

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/30/11 at 09:47 AM

Categories: PoliticsNuttersOur Stupid Media

This is what happens when Sean Hannity tries to suck up…

Well, Bristol does sorta come off as a towering intellect in comparison:

Sadly, not even Jeebus could cure Hannity of The Dumb.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/30/11 at 06:27 AM

Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersSarah PalinOur Stupid MediaYouTubidity

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Mall Girls

Twice the books, none of the tomatoes.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/29/11 at 11:28 PM

Categories: PoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Who’s a Whinier Little Conspiracy Bitch — Glenn Beck Or Eros from “Plan 9”

Tough call, this one.

As always, you should play them both at the same time to experience the full effect.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/29/11 at 06:27 PM

Categories: PoliticsNuttersOur Stupid Media

Only Liberals Mindlessly Follow Transparently Bullshit Political Messiahs

Found this in the Sargasso Sea of Sad Devotion. Name changed to protect the idiot.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/29/11 at 03:09 PM

Categories: PoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Tab for US Wars Since 9/11: $3.7 Trillion

That’s a scochey bit more than the $50-60 billion Paul Wolfowitz told us the invasion of Iraq would run, and roughly the cost of 1,000 replacement World Trade Centers, at 2001 prices.

There’s some room for juggling in there, but you get the idea. Plus, I understand some innocent people got hurt.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/29/11 at 02:30 PM

Categories: NewsPoliticsWar In Error

Beck: Do You Know What It’s Like to Fall in the Mud and Get Kicked, in the Head, with an Iron Boot?

“Of course you don’t, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that’s a dumb question…skip that.”

Glenn Beck closed his final radio hour today with a lot of talk about getting “kicked in the head” by Soros/ACORN/HAARP Project/Underpants Gnomes or whatever it is he was going on about. But mostly, he was touting the effectiveness of his research staff in exposing the global conspiracy of blanket-sitting Online Poets and Twitter-Haters who crashed through his phalanx of ex-Secret Service bodyguards and exploded their wine-filled bomb belts all over his family. 

Note to Lindsey Piscitell: However this came down, there is nothing on earth more vindictive than a wealthy, paranoid drunk with a radio show. Keep deleting. You’re the new Van Jones.

[UPDATE:] My bad — it’s GOD who’s kicking Glenn in the head. I guess Lex Luthor was busy today.

[UPDATE:] Waiting for announcement that Beck has carved a backward “B” on his face.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/29/11 at 11:21 AM

Categories: NewsPoliticsOur Stupid Media



Remember when I said Nancy Grace was Queen of the Ghouls? Um, never mind:

The new issue of Newsweek features a story called “Diana At 50: If She Were Here Now,” by none other than Tina Brown. The digital artwork on the cover reanimates Diana so that she is walking alongside daughter-in-law Kate Middleton, who is gazing adoringly at the People’s Princess and ignoring the fact that if this is really happening, Di is a zombie.

H/T to Rumproast fave Oblomova, who let us know that “Tina Brown is still re-animating and humping Diana’s corpse.”

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/29/11 at 09:52 AM

Categories: PoliticsOur Stupid Media

The Opera House Putsch

This is why I never go out to the movies anymore. Some loud asshole always talks overs the credits, yakking about how God gave us “land mass” and “work ethics” and good old Judeo-Christian Exceptionalism. You used to have to go to the Bus Station to hear that shit, but now they’re everywhere.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/29/11 at 08:36 AM

Categories: MoviesPoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Badgerilla destroys Heartland town


So, this happened yesterday. But even after the screening of Triumph of the Will The Undefeated, all the lamestream media can talk about today is Michele, Michele, Michele! Because of sexism!

[H/T: Commenter Janicket for letting slip the honey badgers of war]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/29/11 at 07:28 AM

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Not A Dry Seat In The House at Palin’s Pella Premiere

      Red Carpet Burn

Those attending the premiere of 1/2 Gov. Snowflake’s cinematic hagiography at the Corn Syrup Dispensary in Pella tonight could be forgiven for “spending a penny” or two, if not from desperation as the film reached the ninety minute mark with no sign of wrapping up, then from anticipation of The Malign Sarah’s after-film remarks: where better for her to make The Announcement!

They were not disappointed, either: although the Grisly Mama walked back her eldest daughter’s earlier indiscretion (running? me? not so much) like a pro, she did thank people for working for her! Game Set, QED!

Well folks, THAT was your clue. She is definitely running for the Presidency. You don’t tell your grassroots people to go pound shoeleather, thank them for helping Bannon put on a nice production and organize for the Iowa Caucuses, then turn around and say, “.....NAAAAAAAH, I’M HAVING MY PERIOD”.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 06/28/11 at 09:03 PM

Categories: ImagesKnee SlappersMoviesMovie NewsPoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Pella Watch: Tiny, Propeller-Driven Town Awaits Onslaught

Quiet — too quiet — so far. Expecting news reports to trickle in after 5:00 EST.

Let’s just hope they don’t corner the candidate in the Old Windmill, like last time.

[UPDATE:] Jeez Louise has arrived. Earlier today, she ate a large dog at Panera in Urbandale.

[UPDATE:] Hundreds of expectant hot-dog recipients join the scene.

[UPDATE:] Looking less and less epochal as time goes by.

[UPDATE:] Packed like sardines. The whole world must be there!

[UPDATE:] Like Woodstock, without the people!:

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/28/11 at 02:38 PM

Categories: MoviesPoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

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