Sunday, July 03, 2011

Hollywood Hates Palin ’Cause She’s So Smokin’ Hot

Former Conservative Child Prodigy turned Evil Ventriloquist Dummy Ben Shapiro floats a theory as silly as it is superfluous in this Fox & Friends promo segment for his fraudulently researched new book, Primetime Propaganda: The True Hollywood Story of How the Left Took Over Your TV.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 07/03/11 at 05:42 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryOur Stupid Media

What America Means to Me

America is the land I woke up in, after 14 billion years of the Incomparable Bliss of not having a name, a billing address or a penis.

It is a nation of unlimited opportunities and wicked hot flag-porn.

It is a country where all people are equal, if dropped from an adequate height.

It is a magical place where Dreams become Reality, only with a lot more tentacles and some seemingly non sequitur images of Bishop Sheen at a chalkboard.

It is a place where Hard Work and Honesty are rewarded, like everything else, with Old Age and Death.

And more than a place, it is an Idea, a Vision and a Great Experiment which, no matter how many times it stumbles and falls short, still looks good enough on paper to qualify for continued corporate grant funding. America is the Cold Fusion of Post-Newtonian Self-Governance.

What does America mean to you?

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 07/03/11 at 12:06 PM
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Categories: Messylaneous

Saturday, July 02, 2011

Why We Fight: Platinum Dance Hits of the Liberal New World Order #2

Goth prophet Robert Smith foresaw a future where Firebaggers in blackface and adorable Furries like the New Progressive Alliance are trapped in a Phantom Zone of clichéd late ‘70s/early ‘80s dance moves and visual tropes, perpetually declaring their devotion to the Undeclared Obama Primary Challenger who most resembles their image of themselves…or the corpse of FDR, depending.

I’m not quite sure how the Humpty Dumpty Man fits into all this. But then again, how could he not?

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 07/02/11 at 01:04 PM
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Categories: MusicMusic VideosPoliticsElection '12Manic Progressives

On a sesame-seed bun…

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Remember this absurd Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild person? The fanciest schmanciest PUMA ever?

Well, she’s still sucking (peeled) sour grapes, and she likes the cut of this Huntsman fellow’s jib!

“He’s white the real deal,” Forester said of Huntsman in an interview. “He is a genuine fiscal conservative. He’s not doctrinaire. He sticks to what he believes in. He’s just a pragmatic, non-ideological, let’s-roll-up-our-sleeves-and-get-it-done kind of American. I really think he’s fabulously white.”

See, Lady Lynn is still pissed off about the 2008 primary thing:

Forester was once a prominent fundraiser for Hillary Clinton in 2008, but then drew attention when she later supported Senator John McCain against Obama.

She said she is still registered as a Democrat, but considers herself independent and won’t support the party as long as Obama is president.

“America needs a white president who understands the special sauce of what it is that makes this country great,” she said. [Hint: it’s Thousand Island dressing! And white people!—ed.] “The fact of his personal story of being half black and all that is a wonderful, inspiriting story. But it doesn’t qualify him to be president.”

Yeah, stupid, stupid America! Always electing some shiftless, unqualified half-black guy because of his “wonderful, inspiriting story.” We really ought to rethink that land owner requirement for voting so wise folks like Lady Lynn could run things.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 07/02/11 at 06:35 AM
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Friday, July 01, 2011

“This Isn’t About Me, It’s About America…”

Watch the movie about the premiere of the movie about the woman that movie was about…in America!

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 07/01/11 at 06:07 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

And Another One Rides the Bus!

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Awesomely named, geetar pickin’ Rep. Thaddeus McCotter (R-MI) has officially thrown his hat in the ring for the GOP presidential nomination.  In a recent interview he listed his priorities:

“The challenge of globalization, the war for freedom against terrorists, the rise of Communist China and whether moral relativism erodes a nation built on self-evident truth.”

Hokay, well at least eradicating teh homosexual agenda isn’t at the top of his list (although that last clause could pretty much mean anything, if you know what I mean, but not “jobs” as far as I can tell).

And he does play guitar.  In a band.  With four other Congressdudes.  And they’re called (knee slapper alert!) The Second Amendments!  HE CAN PLAY HIMSELF IN WHEN HE TROTS OUT ON STAGE WAVING AND BLOWING KISSES!!

Well, Palin is still playing “Will She or Won’t She” so the primary campaign could conceivably get crazier but it’s pretty much overflowing with crazy right now.

read the whole post »

Posted by marindenver on 07/01/11 at 02:29 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

(Mall of) America to Palins: “Meh. Piss off.”

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Like a gutter-snoozing drunk who regains consciousness mid-roll and prevents a thief from adding his pinky ring to the wallet-Rolex haul, America has finally shaken off its torpor and sent the grifty Palins packing:

The rules set up by Mall of America officials for Sarah and Bristol Palin’s book signing yesterday seemed to have been written in anticipation of an army of fans.

“‘Camping out’ is not allowed,” the rules read. “Beginning at 5 a.m., guests will be allowed to line up.”

But there was no teeming crowd of rabid Palinites at 5 a.m. And less than a half hour into the appearance of Bristol, Sarah, and Todd Palin, the crowd had dwindled to a trickle of latecomers.

[snip]

At the end of the event, the MOA estimated that about 700 books had been signed. Perhaps the Palins simply sign books at a lightning pace, but the rotunda was deserted at least a half hour early.

At what point did America finally decide to rise up and pick these leeches off its carcass? I mean, this has been a transparent grift for a long time, but at some point, a grifter pushes a mark just a little too far and blows the whole scam.

Was it when Palin quit halfway through the bus tour? The interminable will-she-or-won’t-she-run poll-dance? Was it the sheer effrontery of positioning a bubble-headed 20-something’s ghostwritten, score-settling “memoir” as some sort of heroic Bildungsroman?

It doesn’t matter what served as the alarm clock; the point is, the mark woke up. Still, two reality show gigs and three ghostwritten book deals ain’t a bad haul. It beats staging slip-and-fall scams.

[H/T: Wonkette]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 07/01/11 at 08:49 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersElection '08NuttersSarah Palin

Is Michele Bachmann’s husband as gay as a goose?—UPDATED

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Evan over at Truth Wins Out has been on this story for a year. I was clueless until I saw a clip (on Hardball) of Marcus Bachmann on some wingnut talk radio show yapping about the Homosexual Agenda:

PING!

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being gay, of course. Unless you run a taxpayer-subsidized “Christian counseling” clinic that purports to cure children of Teh Ghey. And unless you want to serve as First Lady to a bug-eyed loon who claims that teaching kids tolerance is “child abuse” and that being gay is “from Satan.” Then it becomes problematic.

UPDATE: Sully notices the “eery similarity” between the voices of Mr. Bachmann and Corky St. Clair. By jove, he’s right!

Posted by Betty Cracker on 07/01/11 at 05:49 AM
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Categories: LGBTPoliticsBedwettersElection '12NuttersTeabaggeryRelijunYouTubidity

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