Wednesday, August 31, 2011

OK, so New British Superman has no pants and a shield that that looks like it’s made out of Fruit Roll-Ups. I guess it won’t matter since we’ll all be too busy staring at his mighty Kryptonian cod.

(More images here, with better detail on his fish scales and Captain Marvel-style sleeve guards. Lovely.)

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/31/11 at 08:05 PM
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Bummer. I was just working on a post about how squirrelly the whole “Tea Party of America” operation appears to be, especially after yesterday’s kerfuffle where they invited, uninvited and then reinvited Conservative punchline Christine O’Donnell.

Now, the WSJ’s Washington Wire reports that Palin is bagging on the event, allegedly over “continual lying” on the part of the event organizers.  (Whoopsie — updated article says Palin is “no longer confirmed.” A subtle distinction.)

Scott Conroy of Real Clear Politics — who follows Palin closely and usually has the inside scoop on these things — confirms that her appearance at the Iowa rally is “on hold,” although Palin still plans to be in Iowa on Saturday. Meanwhile, Shushannah Walshe — Conroy’s co-author on the book Sarah from Alaska — tweets that Tea Party of America organizers have spoken with Palin’s handlers, the event is “go” and they just have to “take care of a couple things.”

C4Pers are predictably in a tizzy, since some had intended to drive or fly cross-country to attend what they hoped would be Palin’s long-teased announcement of a Presidential run, or at least the Gettysburg Address of the 21st Century.

For their sake, I hope the WSJ reporting is correct, since at least the trip wouldn’t be a total wash:

The former governor will now appear at a Friday event in Des Moines sponsored by the group Conservatives4Palin. It is currently scheduled for 8 p.m. at The Machine Shed Restaurant

[UPDATE:]  OK, now we know even less.

[UPDATE:]  For once, Dan Riehl is right.

[UPDATE:]  Looks like Snooki was too proud to share the stage with the Witch of Delaware. It is now safe to say “DIVA!”

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/31/11 at 11:04 AM
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Palin was so ON for this this weekend’s Tea Party of America event. Then Christine O’Donnell was invited. Then uninvited. Now re-invited. And Palin may be out. Or in. No one knows.

But make no mistake about it: The GOP is now the Grand O’Donnell Party. Even though Mittens crawled on bended knee to kiss Jim DeMint’s ass, Washington DC-fixture Dick Armey’s “grassroots” teabagger group is staging anti-Mittens protests in New Hampshire.

Scam of Newt
And pizza of Cain
Blimp of Paul
Over Romney reign

Froth of Santorum
Undies of Huntsman
Guitar of McCotter
Dash of the kill-Medicare plan

Screech of Bachmann
Ass cyst of Rush
A bag of tea
And a mouth of mush

For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

This will be the best GOP primary EVER. Hahahahaha!

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/31/11 at 10:39 AM
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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

He’s multiply-defeated office-seeker Cody Robert Judy...and he’s everything we knew he would be.

Full story here.

Note the velvet lion and the soundtrack from Rocky IV.

And remember — just because you can’t get elected doesn’t mean you can’t govern. But it helps if you know how to dig and fill a post-hole.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/30/11 at 11:56 PM
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It’s like she can’t help herself.

Two days after addressing the weirdly Brigadoon-like Tea Party of America’s “Restoring America” event in Iowa, Sarah will attend a Tea Party Express “Reclaiming America” rally in Manchester, New Hampshire…just in time to steal the spotlight from Mitt’s highly-publicized Tea Party debut on Sunday in Concord.

I know the C4Pers think this is just another wicked-cool tactic in Sarah’s “stealth campaign” for President. But, seriously, she’s just one boiled bunny away from being Alex Forrest.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/30/11 at 10:03 PM
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From the recently and tragically defunct Family Circus of Values comes this wee bit o’ perfect titled The Impossible:

read the whole post »

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 08/30/11 at 09:09 PM
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Former Vice President Cheney to Matt Lauer this morning:

“I don’t think that it [the Iraq war] damaged our reputation around the world. I just don’t believe that. I think the critics at home want to argue that. In fact, I think it was sound policy that dealt with a very serious problem and eliminated Saddam Hussein from the kind of problem he presented before.”

Head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk.

Here on Planet Earth, the other nations that collectively bestow our “reputation” watched our Iraq war murder-suicide-faceplant in the horrified fascination with which a passerby might attend a loud, belligerent drunk’s demonstration of his puppy-and-Hattori-Hanzō-sword-juggling act. Cheney could look it up.

One of the serious drawbacks to being an atheist is knowing that there is no hell in which smug, lying bastards like Cheney will eventually roast. Pity.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/30/11 at 09:03 AM
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Rumproast wasn’t the only blog to note that yesterday marked the anniversary of John McCain’s most damaging, cynical political act in a career notable for such degradations: Sarah Palin cult site Conservatives4Palin also noted that yesterday was the third anniversary of Snowflake Snooki’s debut speech in the blameless city of Dayton, Ohio.

One C4P operative even created the tag “Sarah Palin Day” to make a sort of official holiday of it, and the solemn event was marked there with several essays to sanctify the occasion. As an inveterate gawker at political silliness and a collector of mangled metaphors and stupefying similes, I was in hog heaven perusing the C4P offerings, which included an essay entitled “Why I’m Still Mad About 2008.” It contained this odd sentence:

Blaming Sarah Palin for blowing it in 2008, is like blaming your dog for not meowing loud enough.

Oookay then. Aside from a few grammatical quibbles, I’m not sure we can improve on that sentence, so let’s just let it stand in all its glory. The end.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/30/11 at 07:11 AM
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Monday, August 29, 2011

Cornell’s Creative Machines Lab‘s smartypants engineers developed Cleverbot - a chatbot that can understand speech and respond to it in real time. It must have been a slow day, as they wondered what would happen if they hooked up two Cleverbots and got them to interact.

Posted by YAFB on 08/29/11 at 09:08 PM
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On that date in Dayton, Ohio, John McCain became suddenly, painfully aware of the downside of making expedient choices and listening to people who urge you to “think outside the box” when they really mean “pander to the crazies.”

Relive those last innocent hours before “Seward’s Folly” became “Seward’s Revenge” here.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/29/11 at 01:34 PM
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DECIDEDLY NSFW!

Posted by YAFB on 08/29/11 at 11:39 AM
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The crook who was ousted from his crooked healthcare corporation for perpetrating massive fraud and then purchased the governorship of Florida for $73 million is now acting like a…wait for it…CROOK! Hoocoodanode?

Kindly feel free to rip Governor Voldemort a new one in comments or treat this as an open thread…

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/29/11 at 10:13 AM
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Sunday, August 28, 2011

A man’s got to know his limitations.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/28/11 at 06:21 PM
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Based on very recent personal experience (and a hazy knowledge of where various Roastapeeps are located), Irene will continue to give some North Roasters the Obama amongst the hippies treatment for a while longer.

But take heart. Even as some of us blink at the strange yellow light in the sky, mutter “fuck it” in re: the debris on and around the house and work up the nerve to peek in the basement, we are worried about the health and safety of the rest of our Roastpatriots. Check in when you get a chance.

(Brief PSA: A Tornado WARNING is your cue to sprint to the nearest point of safety. A Tornado WATCH means you can continue to peek at the sky nervously every five seconds. I lived in Indiana for several years and never DID get that straight. My rule was: If I hear what sounds like a freight train when there is no rail line nearby, or the curtains suck against the window so hard I think they’re going to squirt through the screen and stick there like they’re glued, it was time to run into the bathroom and curl up in the tub.)

read the whole post »

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 08/28/11 at 05:09 PM
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I was going to post a Message of Hope for the North Coast Roasties, but first I must present ...

Gibbertarians are Still Crazy Fucks [via TPM]:

Taking his anti-government ideology to its logical extreme, Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) told NBC News’ Jo Ling Kent today that there should be no national response to Hurricane Irene, and that government responses should revert back to how they were over 100 years ago. “We should be like 1900, we should be like 1940 1950 1960* ... I live on the gulf coast, we deal with hurricanes all the time**.”

UPDATE I: Commenter & auteur of Just Another Blog from L.A., M. Bouffant shares this stunner via Pensito Review:

But in the version of the interview that MSNBC released on its websites this weekend — see the video above — the network edited out the remark Ron Paul had presumably intended to be their lede. The statement MSNBC omitted was this:

  RON PAUL: The government’s not responsible for your safety, that’s why we have a Second Amendment.

Le Boggle.

UPDATE II: The Last Word gives Paul’s “In good ol’ days, folks didn’t have or need no federal gubbermint assistance,” blather the painful beating it deserves. Watch [via C&L]:

______________________________________________

*Off you go then. We’ll stay here. Don’t bother to write.

**Fine, next time the people who voted for your ass can deal with them sans federal assistance. Ayn will be so proud!

read the whole post »

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 08/28/11 at 12:19 PM
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