To Serve Womankind
Yes, the Ambassador would like us to know she means to preserve as many of us as she can~~but the sacred bio-essence passing through these portals must be preserved! A number of us may have to be sacrificed, but the bio-essence must be maintained! Come to Pink, children. Want Pink. Don’t turn from Pink. You… need…Pink.
Update: did I say Kitchen-Aid Mixer? Pah! Komen be Barnhardtin’! *
Trump and Mitt All Fired, Er, Up!
“There are some things that you just can’t imagine happening in your life. This is one of them.”—Willard Mitt Romney
Here’s something Mitt may wish he left in Vegas: the clammy handshake and smoked-brass endorsement of a Quality Birtherloon Fiberglass Fun Figure who’s famous for the phrase “YOU’RE FIRED.”
The S.S. Grandiose, having sprung a leak too soon this morning, had little to say about the desertion of this particular rat.
UPDATE: The DNC press release about the Trump endorsement was simply the original Romney email, which, the DNC felt, spoke volumes just by itself.
But I thought it needed just one little detail adjusted:
A Mighty Fortress Is Our Jan
Hard are the privations suffered by those in the fight to stem the Brown Tide threatening to overflow this great land of ours. Here we see Governor Jan “Bulwark” Brewer, putting the funds she raised to fight illegal immigration to good use, investigating appalling rumors of theivery and beheadings at the Waldorf-Astoria in Orlando, Florida.
Before her recent triumphal tour as an advocate for chutzpah-awareness, Governor Brewer’s JAN-PAC had amassed a grand 22K, three quarters of which is still safely banked. The rest went for the above fact-finding, um, night—$625, and the remainder, (pardon the expression, Governor) to buying the Governor’s own book, Breakfast For Scorpions, sorry, Scorpions For Breakfast.
Yes, Mittens really is an awful, awful politician
The reaction to the Marquis de Mitten’s* line about the very poor provides interesting insights into the difference in how Republicans and Democrats process information:
“I’m not concerned with the very poor. We have a safety net there,” Romney told CNN. “If it needs repair, I’ll fix it. I’m not concerned about the very rich, they’re doing just fine. I’m concerned about the very heart of the America, the 90 percent, 95 percent of Americans who right now are struggling.”
Zandar (and many others) said that this makes Romney sound out of touch with the suffering of millions of Americans and noted that Romney’s alleged indifference to the fate of his fellow plutocrats is unconvincing. I agree.
But that quote was received very differently on the right, who accused Mittens of wanting to patch the hammock containing shiftless, t-bone-buying young bucks and Cadillac-driving welfare queens. Charles Krauthammer:
The idea that somehow we can sign [consign, stupid Daily Caller!—ed.] the poor to the safety net and we patch it and dependency is a liberal idea. Romney is a guy who came late to his new ideology and still can’t speak it very well.”
Even the wingnuttiest of Mittens’ detractors noted that the “I’m not concerned about the very poor” line made Mittens sound like a clueless fat cat. It’s obvious that Mittens was trying to appeal to “Real Americans” with that argument. He just really, really sucks at it.
[X-POSTED at Balloon Juice]
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
A Fuck-Ton of Clucked Tongue
The Washington Post
blows strikes a blow for equality. I mean hey, they’re publishing garbage like this about men now, that’s progress, right?
For most of us, I suspect, the answer would have been different than Santorum’s from the start. If we had a child with a typically fatal genetic disorder, we would forgo the 99 Iowa counties’ worth of Pizza Ranches and the incessant blur of town-hall meetings, and stay home.
Ruth Marcus’s place is in the kitchen. Not because she’s a woman, because that’s the room which affords the most opportunities for her laptop to get shorted out before she can hit “save.”
Your mission, should you choose to accept it: humorously analogize something that itself sounds like a humorous analogy. Sure, it’s easy to say “Newt Gingrich talking about family values is like Abe Foxman writing about the Muslim Brotherhood,” but what do you do when Abe Foxman writes about the Muslim Brotherhood? Well, hotshot? What. Do. You. Do.
Entries will be judged by, uh, criteria. Winner gets to be the target of a boycott over something anodyne they said about the financial sector.
It’s Gotta be the Underpants
Go ahead and do a little victory dance, ROMNI, you’ve earned it.
Three things I learned from YouTube this morning:
1) The more elaborate a dancer’s robot costume, the less impressive their poppin’ and/or lockin’ skills
2) The closer a dancer physically resembles Mitt Romney, the more likely it is that their video’s had embedding disabled
3) There was a third Step Up movie and it was in 3D and I didn’t see it—HOW DID THIS HAPPEN