Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Romney’s Campaign Theme Song Could Well Sound Like “Bomb, Bomb, Bomb; Bomb Iran!”

For all those out there who think Obummer is just a sell-out, corporatist shill, balancing on the side of his foot as he leans farther to the right than Shrub, failing us over and over and NEVER giving us those ponies HE PROMISED he would, I maybe have some food for thought.

Oh, I know, we should spare you guys the S.C. canard, as a pureasthedrivensnow commenter huffed over at TBogg’s (who is now mocking the purists on his front page, no less.  Snicker.)  After all, Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan were just sleight of hand tricks to keep the rubes sweet, right?  So I will spare you guys the S.C. canard (though others might not be willing to do that - a great many of them persons with lady parts whose freedom to control those lady parts is in severe jeopardy these days.)  No, let’s just talk about something else that Willard (or if not Willard himself, his top foreign policy advisors) have in mind.  Declaring war on Iran.

And, oh sure, it’s just Billy Neverbeenrightinhislife Kristol and Jamie Fly, executive director of YetanotherneoconForeignPolicyInitiative arguing in Kristol’s sad rag that America must attack Iran and do it now.  And if the president doesn’t have the cojones to do it then Congress, by gum, should do it for him!  Now, Kristol has been calling for war with Iran for years and was a staunch supporter of the Iraqi war and even credulously appears to believe that WE WON!!  Because THE SURGE!!  So arguably this is laughable more than anything else.  Where it becomes worrisome is that 3 of the 4 board members of the Foreign Policy Initiative, or FPI, are senior advisors to Willard in developing his foreign policy, uh, positions.

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Posted by marindenver on 06/20/12 at 03:45 PM

Categories: PoliticsElection '12Mittens

RIP to one of the good guys

1 month and 2 days ago my husband lost his fiercely fought battle with pancreatic cancer that had metastasized to his liver.  We were married for 35 years, lived together for 6 years before that.  We were each other’s chief supporter and best friend.  And we raised 4 great children together.  He was a loving husband, wonderful dad, great friend to many and a good citizen.  And he made me laugh more than anyone I’ve ever known.  We miss him terribly and always will.  RIP Rich Delanoy.

Your loving wife Marion Delanoy
aka marindenver

But there’s a war on out there.  So I’m climbing back in the saddle.

Posted by marindenver on 06/20/12 at 03:01 PM

Categories: Rumproast Related

Scott Milk?


When Romney campaigns in Florida, there is one person who is notably absent: hard-right Republican Governor Rick Scott. It’s not hard to understand why; Scott’s approval rating in the state slightly trails that of the clap.

Still, the explanations of why the governor and the GOP nominee keeping coincidentally “missing” each other on the campaign trail are getting kind of strained. And Scott has apparently been told to make like a prairie dog and disappear down a hidey-hole during the GOP convention: Where he once bragged about a prime-time speaking slot at the event, now he says this:

“I’ve never done a convention before,” Scott said. “My goal is just to be helpful in whatever they ask me to do.”

The Republicans think it might be helpful for Scott to schedule a trade mission to Australia in late August. Or maybe visit a leper colony.

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/20/12 at 07:44 AM

Categories: PoliticsElection '10Election '12MittensNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Call a Wawambulance*

The major excitement of the current news cycle among the righty blogs is that MSNBC aired an edited verson of Mitt Romney’s remarks at a Pennsylvania rally during his current bustourpalooza about the “amazing” ultra-high-tech procedure for ordering hoagies he’d personally discovered at a Wawa fast food outlet, but omitted Mitt’s Big Point: Private sector good, public bad. Politico is on the case:

Discussing how the public sector suffers from a lack of competition, Romney told the audience about an optometrist who wanted to change his address and subsequently received 33 pages of paperwork from the federal government, which begat a months-long bureaucratic nightmare during which the optometrist in question wasn’t receiving his checks. “That’s how government works,” Romney said.

Then, to illustrate the advantages of competition in the private sector, Romney shared an anecdote from his visit to the local WaWa chain store. “I was at WaWas, I went in to order a sandwich. You press a little touchtone keypad—you touch this, touch this, go pay the cashier—there’s your sandwich. It’s amazing. People in the private sector have learned how to compete. It’s time to bring some competition to the federal government.”

The “story” was broken by new kid on the wingnut block, the somewhat excitable SOOPERMEXICAN:

Another Ridiculous Lie From Liberal Media – Distorting Romney’s “WAWAs” Hoagie Speech

Another example of how ridiculous the media is in their uncompromising struggle to distort the truth in order to make sure Obama wins and Conservatives lose.

Today it’s being widely reported that Romney had a moment were he was amazed at the existence of WAWAs, a convenience/gas store, and the electronic touchtone ordering of sandwiches. They have spun this to make it seem like he’s out of touch – BUT THE VIDEO IS EDITED DECEPTIVELY.

Yup, it’s that mean old liberal MSM again, always in the tank for Obama and ensuring that Mittens can never get a break when he obfuscates, misspeaks or routinely just plain makes shit up, as in this case.

I’m not entirely certain of the campaign wisdom of highlighting this clip, which—as you’ll see if you watch the version above—in its entirety is a painfully awkward reminder that he’s a chip off the old block. Wikipedia observes about his father George:

Life magazine wrote that Romney “manages to turn self-expression into a positive ordeal” and that he was no different in private: “nobody can sound more like the public George Romney than the real George Romney let loose to ramble, inevitably away from the point and toward some distant moral precept.”


Governor Jim Rhodes of Ohio more memorably said, “Watching George Romney run for the presidency was like watching a duck try to make love to a football.”

Still, I’m sure the rightisphere knows what it’s doing, and this will apparently be the downfall of MSNBC and herald the Dawn of a New Age of Enrightenment. Oh well. Once Mitt discovers the wonders of ATMs, that’ll be the end of the US’s budget problems and he’ll coast to victory in November.

* Second-string title: Libby Spencer at The Impolitic had already nabbed “Get Yer WaWa’s Out.”

read the whole post »

Posted by YAFB on 06/19/12 at 06:45 AM

Monday, June 18, 2012

Broken Convention: The Paulmas Are Revolting

When Ron Paul effectively suspended his campaign the other week, presumptive GOP nominee Mitt Romney may have drawn a sigh of relief at signs of concession from his last remaining primary opponent. But as we’ve noted before, the parallels with the 2008 Democratic primaries continue, and it’s “Not so fast there, Mitt” from the Paulmas:

SANTA ANA, Calif. (CN) - In a revolt against Romney, at least 40 more national convention delegates asked to join 123 previous plaintiffs in a lawsuit against the Republican National Committee, and their attorney said hundreds more may soon follow suit.

The first 123 delegates, all from the 9th Circuit, sued the RNC, its Chairman Rince Priebus, and every state party chairman in the 9th Circuit in Federal Court on Monday, demanding the right to vote for the candidate of their choice on every ballot at the Republican National Convention, including the first.

The delegates claim the party violated federal law by forcing them to sign loyalty affidavits, under threat of perjury, to vote for Mitt Romney, though he is not yet the official nominee.

They also claimed that state party chairmen are fixing elections at state conventions and changing ballots so that all votes cast count for Romney.
Gilbert said that the public is unaware that the party is rigging elections and committing voting fraud. But he said he has more than 100 signed affidavits from delegates to support these allegations.
“In Arizona, the voting machines were rigged so that Ron Paul votes were counted as Mitt Romney votes. It was so intentional that a Romney delegate refused to certify the vote count, and for that he got thrown off the convention.”

The Party’s Rule 11 prevents changing rules within 30 days of a convention, but Gilbert said that chairmen and organizers often change rules the day before a convention - and sometimes in the middle of one - to deny a quorum or rig an outcome.

The delegates say in their complaint that the defendants threatened violence against those who don’t support Romney, and had men in dark clothing come to conventions and physically remove people who refuse to vote for him.

read the whole post »

Posted by YAFB on 06/18/12 at 11:04 AM

Categories: PoliticsElection '12MittensNuttersTeabaggerySkull Hampers

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Happy Father’s Day


A very happy Father’s Day to all you dads out there. Anything special on the agenda? My husband (an excellent dad) requested homemade pizza for supper, so homemade pizza it is.

My homemade pizza is locally famous. Here’s why: Before I roll out the dough, I roast a whole head of garlic in the oven (top cut to expose cloves, drizzled with olive oil, wrapped loosely in tinfoil and baked at 350 for an hour). Then, after I roll out the dough, I coat it lightly with olive oil and squish the roasted garlic on it and spread it out. Then I top the pizza and bake as usual. It infuses the entire pie with the sweet, nutty flavor of roasted garlic. Nom-nom-nom!

Other causes for celebration: the Romneys’ fancy dancing horse is going to the Olympics, you guys! But here’s what struck me about the article: The Romneys declared a loss of $77K on their 2010 income tax returns for expenses related to the horse, Rafalca.

WTF? The horse is obviously alive and well. The Romneys don’t even own the horse 100%—ownership is split three ways. So what expenses could they incur as part owners in a year that exceed by far what most American wage earners make in 12 months? Are they allowed to treat this pricey hobby as a business venture? Job creators! Also, Best. Dressage. Ever:

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/17/12 at 06:48 AM

Categories: CrittersNews

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Running Scared

If your weekend’s not panning out as well as you’d hoped, just be glad you’re not part of the press pack being shunted round in Mitt Romney’s wake as he continues his stealth campaign round the backroads of America to win the electorate’s hearts. The tedious hours on the road punctuated by yet another yawnworthy stop to address sparse crowds would be bad enough, but what if the candidate’s campaign decided out of the blue to downgrade you? Holly Bailey at the not inaptly named Yahoo! News reports:

Chasing Mitt Romney around the country is often a blur of random cities, with each stop requiring its own unique logistics for the reporters who regularly cover the Republican nominee.

In Pennsylvania, where Romney is in the midst of day two of a six-state bus tour of key battleground states, the Romney press corps was surprised to find they wouldn’t be traveling on a long tour bus usually rented by the campaign to trail Romney. Instead, the campaign had procured what can only be described as a party bus—a short white motor coach usually hired to ferry around drunk party-goers.

The air had barely cleared of the “short bus” jokes when reporters returned to their conveyance to discover Mitt had left them a little note:


Hahaha! Ann warned us what a card Mitt could be when he was unzipped. Still, the wisdom of making cracks about wiping hard drives given a certain episode in Mitt’s past presented an open goal for the spoilsports in the Obama campaign.

As you dab away the tears of laughter and sprayed coffee, spare a thought for poor Mitt. Already floridly paranoid, and having chosen to up the stakes by playing hardball earlier in the week, he and his staffers now live in a permanent state of trepidation.

read the whole post »

Posted by YAFB on 06/16/12 at 04:35 PM

Friday, June 15, 2012

Oh, that’s why they call it The Daily Caller. Huh.

Neil Munro of the Daily Caller, journalist, immigrant, hero of the day, claims he thought President Obama was finished speaking (the fuck he did) when he called out his very well-thought-out question, “Why do you hate America?” I think that’s how it went. His follow-up was definitely ” What about American workers who are unemployed while you import foreigners?”

Now, you could chide the fellow for being an arrogant boor who interrupted the President of the United States while he was talking to the grown-ups. Or you could point out that Obama’s plan pertains to people who are already here in the country and have been here since before the age of sixteen—he’s obviously not a good fact-collecting little journamalist. You could even try to explain to Cally McCallingoutofturnerson that a “press pass” is not “that thing of when, if you call yourself a member of the press, you get a pass.”  But feh. They will be singing him beer-songs in the halls of Wingnut Valhalla, for points have been put up on an irrelevant board.

Another reason we can’t have nice things.

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 06/15/12 at 04:58 PM

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaNuttersOur Stupid MediaSkull Hampers

Thursday, June 14, 2012

FL Election Officials Declared Rick Scott Dead, Ineligible to Vote


He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named told a Florida radio station that he was mistakenly dropped from the voter rolls in 2006 on account of being dead. This forced the future purchaser of the Florida governorship to cast a provisional ballot. Luckily,  Voldemort future Governor Scott was later able to produce an intact Horcrux driver’s license as proof of life, so his votes counted.

The Dark Lord Governor Scott contends that if he could produce a Magickal Object ID to secure his right to vote, then by god, so can all those US citizens who are being jettisoned from the rolls in the Great Voter Purge of 2012. So shut up.

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/14/12 at 03:42 PM

Categories: PoliticsBedwettersElection '10Election '12NuttersTeabaggery

The Magical Mittstory Tour


... is coming to take you away—if you live in what the Romney camp considers winnable swing states that just need a little dab of the Mittens charm to clinch the deal, according to an LA Times report a couple of days ago:

The GOP presumptive nominee will kick off a five day, six-state bus tour Friday at the place it all began — the Scamman Farm in Stratham, N.H., a 300-acre tomato, herb and seedling operation where he announced his presidential bid last June.

From there, he will head to Pennsylvania, Ohio, Wisconsin, Iowa and Michigan — battleground states in his fall race against President Obama that played major roles in the primary contest between Romney and Rick Santorum.

This all sounds a little too close for comfort to the charabanc antics last year of another hasbeen politician with pretensions to power, but will it offer similar scope for hilarity? Elspeth Reeve at Atlanticwire answers the question you’re all no doubt asking:

Why did Romney pick these swing states instead of the southern or western ones? For starters, the “Every Town” states are the ones where Bain Capital is the least popular. A Purple Strategies poll released last week found that New Hampshire, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Iowa, Minnesota, and Wisconsin are the most likely to think private equity hurts the country instead of helping the economy. Republicans have urged Romney to own his success. But he needs to explain it just right. A Pew poll released this month found that while 88 percent of people completely or mostly agree with the statement “I admire people who get rich by working hard,” only 27 percent completely or mostly agree with the statement “I admire people who are rich.” Maybe this tour is his chance to show his hard-working side.

If you’re desperate to catch a glimpse or touch the hem of Mittens’ garment, I’m afraid that his campaign’s increasingly florid paranoia means that the precise tour itinerary is a bit sketchy. The LA Times adds:

The campaign has released few details about the “Every Town Counts” tour, saying that Romney will meet with families and business owners in small towns. He will take part in a Father’s Day pancake breakfast on Sunday in Brunswick, Ohio, and rally supporters on Monday at a park in Davenport, Iowa.

read the whole post »

Posted by YAFB on 06/14/12 at 07:46 AM

Categories: PoliticsElection '12MittensPolisnarkSkull Hampers

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Feminazis and Baby Snatchers:  Ross Douthat—Pull Up a Chair

Hope you don’t mind the choice of furniture, it simply goes with the rest of the decor. Ross, I can call you “Ross”, right? I’ve been meaning to discuss your columns with you for awhile, and on the basis of the last two, I think there really might be no time like the present.

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Posted by Vixen Strangely on 06/12/12 at 07:50 PM

Categories: PoliticsHealth CareNuttersOur Stupid MediaSkull Hampers

On the Road Eating Stuff With Mitt: Donuts, to You*

The Mitt-Bot has learned that baked goods are food, but is still not familiar with the different varieties thereof.

(Until the Food Network catches on that this would be a brilliant show idea, at least we have the campaign trail.)

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 06/12/12 at 07:29 PM

Categories: FoodPoliticsElection '12Mittens

Saturday, June 09, 2012

See, that’s what I was missing!

I thought the reason I was feeling down, sluggish, half-hearted and all was because I was missing the excitement of the competitive GOP primaries, but you know, that wasn’t it. I was specifically missing one guy: Rick Santorum. But this week, my former senator has unleashed a new organization and will continue to stain the political landscape with bigoted nonsense do his political thing (which is, actually, staining the political landscape with bigoted nonsense). It’s called Patriot Voices, and it’s going to be hotter than a….teabag. In a very hot cup. Making tea. 

What’s it all about?

“Patriot Voices is committed to promoting faith, family, freedom and opportunity,” Santorum said in a news release that accompanied his announcement. “We believe that we’re one nation under God and all we do must be consistent with the Declaration of Independence, Constitution and Bill of Rights. We support candidates who share our convictions and hold those accountable that serve us in elected office.”

“Faith, family, freedom and opportunity”. There’s a slogan in that, for you. Actually they’re working on an issues primer:  “America, apple pie, abortion”; “Bullets, birth certificates, Bible” and one particularly for the ladies “Church, children, chattel”..

You may ask, aren’t there already conservative organizations abound, raising money and supporting conservatism, and, uh, raising money and supporting conservatism, and….holding conventions and whatnot?  All your Tea Party groups and think-tanky things, and other clubhouses with nifty badges and the like?  Well, yeah, but this one has Rick Santorum. So.  You can see the immediate appeal. He’s a respected former senator and was a serious candidate for president.  So he has the determination to get himself Mitt Romney elected president. And defeat Barack Obama and people who support his policies (such as gays, environmentalists, and blahs.) 

And what’s the plan?  Well, the first goal is to get a million supporters. I guess he could recruit those Millions Moms I keep hearing about.  (I’m cynical. I don’t think there are a Million Moms. I don’t even think they’re mostly moms.  Some mothers, maybe….)  Then, they are going to accept unlimited funds (yay—ALL THE MONIES!) and work with the Red White and Blue Fund SuperPAC (yay, ALL THE OTHER MONIES!) to get Rick Santorum’s campaign debt gone, get Rick Santorum a VP spot, to totally keep Santorum in the spotlight for 2016 to get Mitt Romney elected.  Because Rick Santorum!

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 06/09/12 at 03:54 PM

Categories: PoliticsElection '12NuttersTeabaggery

Insulate the Delegate


Florida is a wretched hellscape in August, with 100-degree temperatures, smothering humidity, daily monsoons and the ever-present threat of hurricanes. But the GOP is having its convention here anyway, perhaps for the same reason thieves often target Jeep products: It’s relatively easy to steal. With a cast of even more comically obvious villains controlling state government than those who boosted Bush the Lesser over the top in 2000, it’ll be “Gone in 60 Seconds.”

But there’s still the problem of how to protect melanin-deficient RNC delegates from the ferocious heat and unpredictable weather: The polyester-and-pantyhose faction and bespoke-suited plutocratic contingent alike are in danger of wilting under the fierce Florida sun or being pelted senseless by the sudden onslaught of wind-driven rain as they shuttle drearily between the Tampa Convention Center and Tampa Bay Times Forum (and titty bars).

To address this problem, the Tampa Bay Host Committee is considering a blocks-long, air-conditioned tube to connect the two staging areas. Since the summer storms often produce water spouts, small tornadoes and sudden, strong wind gusts capable of knocking over grandfather oaks, I can’t see any drawback to a plan that involves packing scores of RNC delegates into a long, outdoor plastic tube. Nope, no problem at all.

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/09/12 at 07:32 AM

Categories: PoliticsElection '12MittensNutters

Thursday, June 07, 2012

You know who Mitt Reminds me of?

Sarah Palin. I know. It felt a little weird to me when I made the connection, but he has the same approach towards Obama critique: It doesn’t even have to make sense, just “Always Be Complaining.” I suppose it appeals to a certain type of belly-acher. Take this recent load of thin gruel on white toast Romney sicked up for a sympathetic audience:

That is so weird. First of all, as the blogs all over the intertubes have pointed out, this comment over Noam Scheiber’s book isn’t true—as Scheiber himself says.But let’s take a second look at who is saying that Obama was willing to slow down the recovery in order to get the ACA passed: Mitt Frigging Romney. The author of Romneycare. You know the thing with the mandate, that is basically the Obama plan?  Yeah, that guy, whose sole raison d’etre dans cette race right here? Is that the economy didn’t do as well under Obama as should have been expected.

That’s right. Obama supposedly knew passing the ACA would slow the economy, and then very cleverly did that very thing, because of course the health care plan that the Teabaggers were protesting about in town halls and all throughout like, the first two years he was even president? Would of course make everyone forget about the economy, also, too. That would be, lest we forget, the health care plan that is the same as Mitt Romney’s health care plan in Massachusetts. And the very economy whose sluggishness is the basis for Romney saying he’d be a better president.  In other words, Barack Obama planned to use Mitt Romney’s health care policy as the basis for a bill that would pass and also shuttled the economy off to the side for the mo’—almost as if he wanted Mitt Romney for his challenger in 2012 to say these exact things. As if Barack Obama was possibly Mitt Romney’s biggest fan.

Mitt Romney—you have obviously fallen for Barack Obama’s devious plot by being you. Clearly the only way you can actually win is to be someone else for the remainder of this presidential election. Luckily, this is not difficult for Mitt.  Maybe he should consider a costume. I understand he’s partial to state trooper uniforms. Too wacky.

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 06/07/12 at 10:34 PM

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaElection '12MittensNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryPolisnark

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