Thursday, October 25, 2012

Is There Ever Not A Good Time To Mock Mark Halperin?

No. Some are concerned, nay, even embroiled, but no.

Thers over at Whiskey Fire, impressed by Slightly Dickish‘s command of the link-blegging Drudgeslobber, is holding the Mean Mark Halperin Mocking Limerick Contest, so let us go then, as the helpful Roasters we are, and spread some cheer. Thers is also accepting sheer strings of undifferentiated curse words, so there’s really no reason not to contribute. Humboldt. ; - >

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/25/12 at 01:16 AM

Categories: Knee SlappersMessylaneousPoliticsOur Stupid Media

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Her Again: Shuck, Jive And Thrive

With those tiresome debates over, it’s a down-to-the-wire race to see which right-wing attention addict (we don’t say “whore” because we has class!) can squeeze the last drops of glory from putting lips together and blowing the longest, loudest dogwhistle their air-sacs can power. In the case of the Tower of Babble, it’s not even a whistle; it’s an airhorn. The ostensible justification for the Half-Been’s rage is CNN CBS’s “scoop” regarding Benghazi, because terrorism abroad is always best met by calling the president a darkie.

CNN CBS’s lame “scoop” puts them in a fine position to challenge the Half-Been and the Bag of Hair to the Miss AW 2012 tiara. The Zales Network turned up two emails to the State Department, executive office, and about a zillion other agencies containing the thunderous information that a local terrorist group Ansar Al-Sharia had claimed responsibility for the attack, and everybody knows that whatever group is first to claim responsibility on Facebook, for attacking something in the Middle East completely obviously Did It. Why did the president not reveal this email in the nanoseconds before Mitt Romney climbed to the top of the ruins with his bullhorn? Niggovernment Coverup!!!

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/24/12 at 06:00 PM

Categories: ImagesMessylaneousPoliticsNuttersSarah PalinOur Stupid Media

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

No, I Just Meant God Wants Rape To Have A Happy Ending

Oh! Well, that’s all right, then. Stating that God wants women to go through forced pregnancy after rape isn’t extreme when you think about it, as Richard Mourdock has. After all, God loves life, and every woman’s womb could be stocked with life all the time, if women weren’t so abysmally dedicated to saying when. So will you leftie b*tches just leave the man alone already? Mitt Romney’s still exhausted from distancing himself from Todd Akin, and now he’s going to have to dodge and weave his way around poor Richard. Paul Ryan is going to have to distance himself, too, but at least we know he can do it in record time. Stop martyring poor Richard Mourdock! You’re making Michelle Malkin simply furious!

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/23/12 at 11:21 PM

RW Bloggers Frothing Over Facts of Obama “Horses and Bayonets” Statement

OK.  Quick test of listening comprehension.  Does President Obama say “no horses and bayonets” or does he say “fewer horses and bayonets”?  (Apologies for the commercial.)

OK, so obviously this is a trick question because of course Obama says “fewer horses and bayonets”.  Right wing bloggers, however are not known for reading or listening comprehension, to wit, executive editor at Tucker Carlson’s Bucket O’ Fail Daily Whiner David Martosko’s sad attempt to “fact check” the claim.  And reports back that bayonets ARE still used by marines and, and in the early stages of the Afghanistan war some soldiers rode, wait for it, wait, HORSES!!!  FACT CHECK FAIL, RIGHT!!

Well not so much if you are actually blessed with reading and listening comprehension but, again, we’re talking about right wing bloggers here.

read the whole post »

Posted by marindenver on 10/23/12 at 05:51 PM

Rombot Inc Issues Newest Mittkins™ Collectible

          I R SO NOT W

PeaceOut Bobblehead Mittkins™ is the most trustworthy Mittkins™ yet! Just like a real beauty contestant, he wants world peace and knows where the cool Syrian beaches are, sort of.  Peaceout Bobblehead Mittkins™ loves Barack Obama’s foreign policy THIIISSSS MUCH.  Stand him on your shelf next to Primary Mittkins™, Offshore Mittkins™ and Massachusetts Mittkins™.  No collection is complete without him!

Each Mittkins™is fully positionable. Binders, bayonets and beliefs sold separately.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/23/12 at 09:39 AM

Categories: ImagesKnee SlappersMessylaneousPoliticsElection '12MittensWar In Error

Monday, October 22, 2012

2012 Presidential Debate Scariest Liveblog Ever: THE UNMITTENING 3

        Baracko Nikto!

They’ll be seated at a table, close enough to breathe in each others’ stress chemicals.  Don’t bet on moderator Bob Schieffer to make the mistake of injecting a fact between Romney’s cascade of prevarications, not unless he wants all of the right-O-sphere to call him fat.

Guardian Liveblog here, and YouTube livestream below the fold. Meme generator here. Because deciding the leader of the free world has come to this. BOO!

read the whole post »

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/22/12 at 07:44 PM

Categories: ImagesNewsPoliticsBarack ObamaElection '12Mittens

RIP Russell Means


Although it’s not too likely that he will.  Most likely stirring things up in the afterlife as we speak.  He was a controversial figure most of his life and did a huge amount to bring attention to the horrendous treatment of indigenous peoples by our government (past and present).  Read more about him at the NYT.

Condolences to his family.  He fought a long, hard battle with cancer and I know what a toll that takes on everyone.  His niece is a friend of mine and of my kids.  She plans to continue his legacy and we support her all the way.

Posted by marindenver on 10/22/12 at 04:45 PM

Categories: MessylaneousNews

Debate Liveblog? I Prefer…DEBATE UNDEADBLOG


Why yessss, we have an appointment tonight….you will return, return to us at nine, nine in the evening, to imbibe of the Rumproast life force as we dine on the viscera of our enemies, THROATY LAUGH!

Liveblog thread to go up at a quarter to. Hack easy pun finish: THE STAKES COULDN’T BE HIGHER! But really, do you want Cuddles up there to add “President’s Spawn” to his Curriculum (un)Vitae?

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/22/12 at 03:21 PM

Categories: ImagesPoliticsElection '12Rumproast Related

Cocktail Corner: Kraken Kolada

I realize it’s early (at least on the Eastern coast of the US) to talk about cocktails, but I formulated a new recipe last night that I’m eager to share. And since there is a highly consequential debate tonight, you may want to get liquored up early so you’ll be prepared to slur your encouragement to President Obama on the teevee, urging him to take the fight to whichever Rombot shows up.

I’ve loved the flavor profile of piña coladas ever since I tried my first several at age 12 via room service at a fancy beach hotel. My mother had foolishly left my sister and me to our own devices in our hotel room while she met friends for cocktails at the bar downstairs. After she was gone, I called room service and ordered two piña coladas (even at 12 I had a whisky voice and could thus pull this off). Why piña coladas? Maybe that dumb 70s song? Maybe because that’s what people drank on “The Love Boat”? I don’t know.

Anyhoo, my little sister and I executed our plan: When the room service dude came to the door with the drinks, I pretended to be Mom in the shower. I was sitting in the bathroom with the shower on, and I turned the water off when my sister knocked, opened the door a crack and took and signed the receipt my sister passed to me while the room service dude deposited our drinks on the table. It worked like a charm! It worked so well that we did it again, ordering DOUBLES in the next round and fortunately getting a different room service guy so our ruse continued to work.

We didn’t get busted until we checked out and Mom wondered why there were charges for room service piña coladas (and a handsome tip) on our bill. But when we confessed, she was so impressed with our ingenuity that she just paid up and didn’t punish us.

However, the characteristics that made the drink perfect for a pair of prepubescent rebels – the sugary taste, gloppy consistency and over-adorned presentation – made the piña colada distinctly less appealing to me as an adult. But I still like pineapple, coconut and rum.

Which is why yesterday evening, as hubby and I were wrapping up our kitchen renovation labors for the day and accepting the fact that we would have to face at least 24 more hours without plumbing, I started thinking about piña coladas with a more grown-up twist, and thus the Kraken Kolada was born. It’s more of a martini-style cocktail than the alcoholic sundae that is the classic piña colada, but it delivers on the pineapple and coconut themes:

1 or 2 parts Kraken Black Spiced Rum
2 parts pineapple juice
2 parts coconut water (not coconut milk or, FSM forbid, coconut cream but coconut water)

I shook mine up with ice in the above-pictured cocktail shaker, and it was cool, refreshing heaven in a plastic cup (since we have no working kitchen sink or dishwasher to deal with dirty martini glasses). If you like rum but haven’t tried Kraken, by all means do so. Even if you’re normally not that keen on spiced rum. It’s really good.

Anyone else have tasty cocktail recipes to share? Beer finds? Good wines? No? Then feel free to discuss whatever.

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]


Posted by Betty Cracker on 10/22/12 at 02:01 PM

Categories: Booze

The Curious Tale of Bipartisan Mitt

For whatever otherworldly reason arrived at by the ever-spinning windmills of their minds, Team Romney has decided that this would be a good time to trot out Mitt Romney’s underwhelming tenure as governor of Massachussetts for another spin around the swing states.

I imagine that they are hoping to make some sort of political hay out of recent Team Obama statements about Republican obstructionism in Congress which Team Romney has decided was all President Obama’s fault—and if he had only taken a page out of Mitt’s book on achieving bipartisan nirvana the Obama administration could have done so much more.

Here are some facts that I’ve unearthed about Mitt’s Magical Mystery Tour of Duty in The Bay State . . .

read the whole post »

Posted by Bette Noir on 10/22/12 at 09:52 AM

Categories: PoliticsElection '12Mittens

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Nope. It’s a deflated gasbag!

Or possibly an omen?

Earlier today:


Romney blimp turning heads in South Florida
Mitt Romney leads President Obama in latest Florida polls

MIAMI - Flying high in the polls, Mitt Romney was also flying high over the streets of South Florida Friday morning.

A blimp with the headline “America needs Romney” was seen flying over Miami-Dade and Broward counties.

The blimp is the first sign that South Florida will take center stage in the political universe over the next few days.

This evening:

Mitt Romney blimp makes emergency landing near Fort Lauderdale

A blimp-like aircraft emblazoned with an “America Needs Romney” message made an emergency landing near a Davie park this evening, much to the joy of many voters in Broward County, one of the most-liberal places in Florida.

There were no injuries, Davie police said. Except, perhaps, for Republican pride.

The Sun Sentinel adds:

Two people were on the 160 foot aircraft but no one was injured, said Davie police spokesman Capt. Dale Engle.
Engle said high winds forced the aircraft to land in the Parkside Estates development around 7:10 p.m., near the Robert H. Bamford Sports Complex.
“The winds were so strong it was pushing them west,” he said. “They were trying to drive east but they couldn’t push into the wind.”

Oh the humanity!

read the whole post »

Posted by YAFB on 10/21/12 at 09:34 PM

Not Your Father’s Republican Party

LIFE magazine has been delving into its archives, and pulled out this feature:

“On the evening of May 20,” begins an article in the June 16, 1941, issue of LIFE magazine, “members of the Young Women’s Republican Club of Milford, Conn., explored the pleasures of tobacco, poker, the strip tease and such other masculine enjoyments as had frequently cost them the evening companionship of husbands, sons and brothers.”

Thus the storied weekly and photographer Nina Leen chronicled the shenanigans that erupted when a group of GOP women got together for an old-fashioned “smoker” (noun: an informal social gathering for men only) on one long, memorable night in southern New England.


You can find 15 more snapshots of the pre-War On Women GOP here. Giggity.

Posted by YAFB on 10/21/12 at 03:34 PM

ADD Wars

This, the first post-Citizens United American election, has been one long experiment with democracy. It’s too early to call any firm conclusions so far, and superPACs’ activities aren’t restricted to paying for advertising, but it’s becoming apparent that success cannot be measured purely in terms of the amount of money you can throw at the media.

A few days ago, The Atlantic published an article about the differing effects of the two campaigns’ advertising, citing a study by researchers Qualtrics (PDF) and Evolving Strategies:

They found that Obama’s ads were working to sway swing voters, while Romney’s were not—and the Koch Brothers-backed GOP super PAC, Americans for Prosperity, didn’t help Romney either.

The study exposed 2,300 voters to Romney and Obama ads on three themes—Medicare, economic plans, and economy-based attacks on the other candidate—as well as the Americans for Prosperity ad, “Disappointed.” A control group didn’t see any ads. All the respondents were either pure independents or weak partisans; none were strong Democrats or Republicans.

Obama’s ads overall had the desired effect: They increased his share of the vote by six points while decreasing Romney’s share of the vote by 8 points on average. Romney’s ads, meanwhile, had no statistically significant effect on the survey respondents. The survey sample began the experiment favoring Romney by a 47-42 margin; after watching both candidates’ ads, they favored Obama, 48-41.

This may go some way toward explaining the split that national pollsters are finding between the north and the south, where it looks like Romney’s winning hard in the Republicans’ southern heartland, but not so much in the swing states:

There was a silver lining for Romney, however. His ads didn’t convert swing voters, but they did persuade voters who picked John McCain in 2008 to vote for Romney this time around. Obama’s ads had no impact on his supporters’ enthusiasm.

In fact, some of these ads may be backfiring:

As for the super PAC [AFP], with friends like these, Romney may not need enemies. The Americans for Prosperity ad features testimonials from Obama voters who say the president has let them down. The study found it had no effect on the vote overall and actually hurt Romney with women voters. The only positive effect of the ad was a large increase in enthusiasm among males who voted for McCain in 2008. “Surprisingly, the ‘Disappointed’ ad is terrible as a soft-edged appeal to swing voters, but seems to be very effective red meat for male voters in Romney’s base,” the study notes.

When it comes to Web ads, the aims are different. Obviously there’s a hope that some will go viral and peel off some undecideds via social media etc., but generally they’re aimed at bolstering the base and helping GOTV efforts. With ads of the quality of this one doing the rounds, we’ll have to wait and see how it all pans out:

Posted by YAFB on 10/21/12 at 07:42 AM

Rest in Peace, George McGovern

Via Balloon Juice commenter Steve from a thread last week, here’s a link to a great story about an incident that occurred when Senator McGovern was a bomber pilot in WWII. Incredible.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 10/21/12 at 07:41 AM

Categories: NewsPolitics

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Bay Buchanan, Romnesiac


“Left up to the states?” You misunderstand, substandard sexual deviants—-I might have said “leftover plates.” We have so much crockery at campaign headquarters, because the Governor is so tough on china! I’ll be here all night, tip the veal, and yes, that’s me up there doing a star turn for the window-dressers at GOP Proud.You people do that so well.

And don’t forget to come and see my gig with Alan Keyes at the National Association For The Repression of Colored People! Be there or be part of the 47%!

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/20/12 at 09:08 PM

Categories: ImagesPoliticsElection '12MittensNutters

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