Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Speaking of the “Memory Hole”...

Funny I should mention Orwell’s memory hole in yesterday’s post... From the Department of “You Can’t Make this Shit Up”, Mitch McConnell basically wants President Obama to forget the past four years:

“Every four years on Inauguration Day, America shows the world that our major political parties can disagree with civility and mutual respect. It is in this spirit that I congratulate President Obama on his inauguration to a second term and wish him well in the fulfillment of his duty to lead the U.S. at home and abroad over the next four years. The President’s second term represents a fresh start when it comes to dealing with the great challenges of our day; particularly, the transcendent challenge of unsustainable federal spending and debt. Republicans are eager to work with the President on achieving this common goal, and we firmly believe that divided government provides the perfect opportunity to do so. Together, there is much we can achieve.”

Christ, what an asshole... it wasn’t too long ago that McConnell admitted that his number one priority was to make Barack Obama a one-term president.  Having failed in that, he now wants to call a mulligan and have President Obama pretend that the shabby treatment he received from the Republican congresscreeps for the past four years never happened.  For a party that seems to idolize the past, the GOP sure loves to shove things down the memory hole.  Forget the elephant logo, the Republican emblem should be a goldfish.*

*The pedant in me has to note that the whole three-second memory stereotype is untrue, but I figured the joke is in keeping with popular perception so I ran with it… and promptly ran over it with my “explaining voice”.

Cross-posted at my eponymous blog.

Posted by Big Bad Bald Bastard on 01/22/13 at 03:51 AM

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaBedwettersElection '12NuttersTeabaggerySkull Hampers

Monday, January 21, 2013

What Bamz Said

It’s going to take a little bit to digest everything that PRESIDENT (to Rethugs, you know who you are) Obama touched on in his amazing second inaugural address.  Here is video if you didn’t hear it:

Here’s a transcript if you want to dig in more deeply.

The biggest takeaways that I got were a, frankly, thrilling endorsement of a progressive agenda including embracing of entitlements that we have all paid for (we are NOT a nation of takers - FU Granny Starver Ryan), action on climate change, gun control/safety (whatever you want to call it), rebuilding of our infrastructure, smackdown on the Rethugs attempts at voter suppression, embracing of immigrants, civil rights for teh gays and much, much more.

What did you guys think?  Am I naive, optimistic or is B. Hussein Obamz finally going to kick some ass for progressive causes?  After all, he has nothing to lose now - why not go for it?!

And it’s just a little amuse-bouche that RMoney was so butthurt over losing that he did a big no-show.

Posted by marindenver on 01/21/13 at 10:54 PM

“Cornerites” Cope with King Day

Today being Dr Martin Luther King, Jr. day, I figured I’d look at how the National Review‘s “Corner” has tried to cope with King’s life and legacy… by shoving its own ignominous past into the memory hole At the National Review website, there is a perfunctory post which completely glosses over the fact that, as commenter MikeM points out, National Review was extremely hostile to Civil Rights and Desegregation efforts throughout its ignoble history.  It’s no mystery that the particular moment of history that William F. Buckley tried to stand athwart yelling “STOP!” was the moment that desegregation was beginning to be implemented.  In 1957, Buckley wrote his most infamous take on race:

“The central question that emerges . . . is whether the White community in the South is entitled to take such measures as are necessary to prevail, politically and culturally, in areas in which it does not prevail numerically? The sobering answer is Yes – the White community is so entitled because, for the time being, it is the advanced race. It is not easy, and it is unpleasant, to adduce statistics evidencing the cultural superiority of White over Negro: but it is a fact that obtrudes, one that cannot be hidden by ever-so-busy egalitarians and anthropologists.”

“National Review believes that the South’s premises are correct. . . . It is more important for the community, anywhere in the world, to affirm and live by civilized standards, than to bow to the demands of the numerical majority.”

“The South confronts one grave moral challenge. It must not exploit the fact of Negro backwardness to preserve the Negro as a servile class. . . . Let the South never permit itself to do this. So long as it is merely asserting the right to impose superior mores for whatever period it takes to effect a genuine cultural equality between the races, and so long as it does so by humane and charitable means, the South is in step with civilization, as is the Congress that permits it to function.”

Yeah, just let that sink in, all the while remembering what Buckley characterized as “cultural superiority”:

Also in 1957, Richard M. Weaver wrote a book review in the National Review titled “Integration is Communization”.  Here’s the “money” quote from this piece:

“‘Integration’ and ‘Communization’ are, after all, pretty closely synonymous. In the light of what is happening today, the first may be little more than a euphemism for the second. It does not take many steps to get from the ‘integrating’ of facilities to the ‘communizing’ of facilities, if the impulse is there”

In 1964, to commemorate the tenth anniversary of the “Brown vs Board of Education” decision, Buckley wrote this:

“But whatever the exact net result in the restricted field of school desegregation, what a price we are paying for Brown! It would be ridiculous to hold the Supreme Court solely to blame for the ludicrously named ‘civil rights movement’ – that is, the Negro revolt . . . . But the Court carries its share of the blame. Its decrees, beginning with Brown, have on the one hand encouraged the least responsible of the Negro leaders in the course of extra-legal and illegal struggle that we now witness around us. . . .

“Brown, as National Review declared many years ago, was bad law and bad sociology. We are now tasting its bitter fruits. Race relations in the country are ten times worse than in 1954.”

National Review was at the vanguard of the “idtellectual” wing of the conservative movement, and their staff had a hate-on for anyone who was working for desegregation and equal rights.  Again, WFB’s stated purpose was to stand athwart history yelling “STOP!”, by which he really meant, “STOP GRANTING CIVIL RIGHTS TO UPPITY NEGROS AND STRIDENT WOMEN!” There’s no memory hole deep enough for the cornerites to bury all of the garbage that their magazine has written about Dr King’s struggles, and their failure to own up to their past sins is doubleplusungood.

For a good dissection of conservatives’ failed attempts to co-opt Dr King’s legacy, this post is hard to beat.

Cross posted at my eponymous blog.  Hat tip to commenter MikeM at NRO

Posted by Big Bad Bald Bastard on 01/21/13 at 07:30 AM

Categories: PoliticsNutters

Sunday, January 20, 2013

All God’s Children Need Guns


On Sunday it just seems right to check up on what’s shaking in the Wonderful World of Christianists.  Today, since the buzz is all about guns lately, I figured I’d tune into Tim Donnelly’s recent pronouncement regarding the role of guns in God’s master plan. 

According to Tim, God is all about guns:

They are used to defend our property and our families and our faith and our freedom, and they are absolutely essential to living the way God intended for us to live.

That came on the heels of Donnelly blasting President Obama for “politicizing this tragedy to impose an anti-Second Amendment agenda that would have done nothing to prevent the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary.”

read the whole post »

Posted by Bette Noir on 01/20/13 at 09:31 AM

Categories: PoliticsNuttersTeabaggery

YAFB’s 2012 Rumproast Roundup, Part 5


This summary of December—from the sublime “Gangnam Style” to the ridiculous Marco Rubio—completes my 2012 roundup.

Part 1 is here, Part 2 is here, Part 3 is here, and Part 4 is here.

read the whole post »

Posted by YAFB on 01/20/13 at 08:00 AM

Can You Hear Me Now, You Feckers?


Wireless carriers are blood-sucking leeches run by amoral pricks whose unfathomable greed and utter disregard for fair dealing would make Bernie Madoff ashamed enough to seek species reassignment surgery. My husband and I recently fell prey to a scam perpetrated by our long-term mobile, landline, TV and Internet provider, Verizon.

We innocently strolled into a local Verizon retail outlet a few months ago to see about upgrading my husband’s old clamshell-style crap-phone so he could stop writing notes on paper, photographing them and sending that in lieu of text messages. A more credulous pair of bumpkins has never been so effectively swindled by such a brazen pack of bald-faced liars.

The fecking feckers sold us a packet of magic beans: a bundle that would supposedly result in a lower overall monthly payment for all services while upgrading hubby’s crap-phone to a smartphone, expanding our channel line-up and improving the quality of our landline service. (That last part smarts especially in retrospect since we had intended to get rid of the landline, which we rarely use.)

But no, the lying Verizon motherfuckers told us: With THESE special beans, the landline is BETTER than free! It exudes a magickal “savings dust” that reduces your overall bill, each and every month! Plus, the new and improved landline service comes with a snazzy new transmitter base with periwinkle-colored ambient lighting and can even serve as a marital aid / can opener / wine decanter!

We idiotically signed on, and when the incomprehensibly Byzantine combined bills began to arrive, we found that—quelle surprise!—the deal was not as advertised! When I called to investigate, I was eventually made to understand that through a combination of “line access” charges, service fees, etc., our bill was going to be around $30 more a month than it had been.

Moreover, I was given to understand that not only had we extended my husband’s phone contract by two years (which we knew), we were now locked into two-year contracts for the landline, TV and Internet service too, all of which had previously been at-will. The bottom line is, if we want to dump Verizon right now, it’ll cost us nearly $800.

I’ve raised holy hell across the Verizon customer service spectrum, calling, chatting, emailing and even snail-mailing the bastards to request that they kindly remove their dicks from our ass. To no avail.

But you know what? I can get through this. I endured the two-term governorship of Jeb Bush and the presidency of George W. Bush, and dog willing, I will outlast the vile governorship of Rick Scott, so I know a little something about waiting out evil fucks. I’ll wait out Verizon too, and once I’m shut of them, I’m hoping to arrange it so that they never see another nickel from the Cracker household. Ever. That’s the only kind thing about time: Eventually, this too shall pass.

My question is, of all the hucksterish-prick wireless carriers out there, which one have y’all found to be the least rapacious? Also too, is there such a thing as satellite TV and Internet service? And lastly, please consider this an open thread / wireless carrier primal scream therapy center.

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 01/20/13 at 07:55 AM

Categories: Messylaneous

Saturday, January 19, 2013

YAFB’s 2012 Rumproast Roundup, Part 4


The penultimate part of my stream-of-consciousness romp through the past year on Rumproast takes us from the suspense of the eve of the first Presidential Debate to the glorious GOP recriminations and infighting of the end of November. Part 5—December—will follow tomorrow (Sunday).

Part 1 is here, Part 2 is here, and Part 3 is here.

read the whole post »

Posted by YAFB on 01/19/13 at 05:42 PM

My Inaugural Poem

Last night, on the drive to work, I heard an interview on PBS Newshour with Richard Blanco, the poet chosen to read a poem at the second inauguration of the Kenyan Usurper.  While I have no animosity toward Mister (or should I say Señor?) Blanco, I’m a little miffed that I wasn’t chosen as the inaugural poet.  I mean, I totally wasted about five minutes writing my inaugural poem:

A second term!
The wingnuts squirm,
And each cries for his momma.
The president
Is still a gent
Named Barry H. Obama.

Anybody up for contributing additional stanzas?

Cross posted at my eponymous blog.

Posted by Big Bad Bald Bastard on 01/19/13 at 06:09 AM

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaPolisnark

Friday, January 18, 2013

Son of a Gun


The NRA thinks President Obama’s daughters are appropriate fodder for the gun control debate. Well, turnabout being fair play and all, I wonder if NRA President David Keene’s (adult) son has anything instructive to add to the conversation? Oops—we can’t ask him because he’s in the slammer for shooting at another motorist in a road rage incident!

In 2003, David Keene’s son, David M. Keene, was sentenced to 10 years in prison for discharging a firearm in a crime of violence after he shot at the driver of another car from his BMW on the George Washington Memorial Parkway in northern Virginia. Police said the shot missed the other driver’s head by inches. At the time, the younger Keene, then 21, was serving as [American Conservative Union] ACU’s director of online communications.

In addition to Blam-Blam Junior’s legal travails, Keene’s ex-wife pleaded guilty last year to embezzling $400K from the ACU. The Keenes sound like exactly the sort of people who need access to a vast arsenal. Honest to god, you can’t make this shit up.

[H/T: Wonkette; X-posted at Balloon Juice.]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 01/18/13 at 04:36 PM

Categories: PoliticsNutters

Thursday, January 17, 2013

My Eyes Were Never This Good

...qr at least it’s safe to say that formal attire and buzzing, hive-like sound effects were optional. All I wanted to do was see what I was looking at.

Today, it turns out that even replacement eyes are hard to come by. I was driven to my eye and ear center this morning, presumably for the unveiling of a prosthetic eye that was being hand-painted for me by a local ocularist. Instead, I was thrown out of my doctor’s office for not already having acquired a fake eye at a cost of $3,000 out-of-pocket. No-one had ever told me that buying a prosthetic peeper was my job, and that I would be subjected to howls of derisive laughter for not doing the job no one ever assigned me.

Now, I’m a blind guy with one eye and a “your ad here” sign in the other socket and all I have for the moment is the marvelous magical Residents who must have bought their eyes in bulk. Feast your orbs!

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 01/17/13 at 06:49 PM

House Republicans: Hoist By Their Own Hastert Rule


If we didn’t all have way too much skin in the game, the post-election Republican melt-down might be quite entertaining.  Imagine you’re a European with an unhealthy preoccupation with American politics (I know.  Seriously?)  But just pretend you are.

Hard-right Republicans can be as unhinged, absurd and/or Ick!-worthy as possible and you don’t have to live with the consequences—it’s a post-modern laugh-riot, amirite? 

Rep. Lynn Martin (R-IL 1981-1991) is supposed to have said that “the House of Representatives is like a pre-school class that missed nap-time.”  The mothers among us know just how apt that statement is.  And, I’d venture a guess that the House, during her tenure, was a lot saner than today’s.

read the whole post »

Posted by Bette Noir on 01/17/13 at 10:35 AM

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaElection '12Election '14NuttersTeabaggery

Prognostication’s Not Pork!

It’s a relief that the House of Representatives passed Superstorm Sandy relief in a 228-192 squeaker.  In truly asinine fashion, though, the GOP congresscritters wanted to cut $13 million from the National Weather Service.  Leave it to Republicans to want to cut funding from the National Weather Service in the wake of a huge weather-related catastrophe… I am reminded of Bobby Jindal’s scornful remarks about “volcano monitoring”, delivered while Alaska’s Mt. Redoubt was being monitored due to an eruption threat.  It’s also reminiscent of their 2011 decision to cut funding for NOAA’s hurricane tracking satellite system.

In the case of Sandy, continual monitoring was crucial, because the path of the storm was atypical, a once-every-700-years event.  The European tracking models more accurately predicted the path of the storm than the American ones… thankfully, those socialistic scientists like to share data.  If there hadn’t been accurate models, the toll of death and destruction would have been unthinkable.

Once again, the Republicans have shown a willingness to continue their war on science... hell, they have Creationists sitting on the House Science Committee.  In the case of their attitude toward the monitoring of natural phenomena that can result in mass death, their hostile attitude toward science can result in real harm.

Prognostication ain’t pork, people.

Cross-posted at my eponymous blog.

Posted by Big Bad Bald Bastard on 01/17/13 at 07:05 AM

Categories: PoliticsNutters

Like a President

Before I get started discussing President Obama’s announcement regarding action on gun control, I want to address this cowardly and pernicious little ad the NRA folks thought was actually acceptable discourse:

Did you catch that? “Are the president’s children more important than yours?” Hm. Maybe they are under more of a risk because, for one thing: THEIR FATHER IS PRESIDENT. They have armed guards at their school. They have Secret Service protection. This is because there are people who would genuinely want to hurt or kill their father, and would even hurt or kill them, even though they are children. Barack Obama has faced an unusual threat level during his presidency. But no one should be unaware that this is something he knew about upon taking the job:

read the whole post »

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 01/17/13 at 12:10 AM

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaBedwettersNuttersTeabaggeryOur Stupid Media

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Don’t Make Me Take This Belt Off!


Call me clairvoyant, but my Magic-8-Ball tells me that Republican war plans over raising the debt limit are about to be decommissioned.  Not because Newt thinks it’s a bad idea, or because Susan Collins (RINO-ME) has had a sanity seizure, but because the Almighty Koch Bros. have issued a sit-stay command to their congressional lap dogs lest their empire suffer any ill effects from the economic repercussions of GOP idiocy.

Speaking through their sock puppet Tim Phillips, president of Americans for Prosperity, the Kochs instructed their Congressional minions to

. . . calibrate your message. Focus on overspending instead of long-term debt.  Focusing on [the debt ceiling] makes the messaging more difficult.

read the whole post »

Posted by Bette Noir on 01/16/13 at 11:31 AM

Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Disgraced Con Man Edwin Meese Blorts About Impeaching Obama for Dreaded Gun Exec Orders

This is what bloviating looks like:


So Edwin Meese, Saint Ronnie’s AG, who was involved in not one but two scandals during St. Ronnie’s administration of unprecedented lawlessness among his advisers, thinks Prez Obama should be impeached because he wants to issue a few executive orders regarding srsly implementing background checks and such related to gun purchases.  Breach of the Second Amendment!!  Tyranny!! Lawlessness!!11!!1 abounds in our nation and we must put. a. stop. to. it.  Or, you know, else.

Joining in the baying pack is somebody called Rep. Jeff Duncan R-CrazyTown and a Rep. Steve Stockman R-CrazierTown.  Because they just KNOW Bam’s going all dictator on us and sending out the jack booted thugs to wrench guns from the cold dead hands of law abiding (well, sort of) citizuns!!

And it’s what they’ve all dreaded.  Dooooom-duh-doom-doom.  DOOOOOMMM!! 

As for the rest of us, well, yawn.  Carry on crazy Teathuglicans.  It’s getting where we don’t even think they should headline at Comedy Club anymore.  Too, too predictable.

Posted by marindenver on 01/16/13 at 12:38 AM

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaBedwettersNuttersTeabaggery

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