Thursday, May 09, 2013

Tranya, Wookiee Toupees And Opie’s Older, Stranger Brother

Yes, indeedy. Floyd The Barber, Gomer Pyle, Deputy Dimwit And Baalok the drunken alien nemesis in a futuristic chaise-longue. Ron Howard’s slightly older brother Clint returns after nearly sixty years to reprise his tiny tippling tyrant in the Star Trek episode, “The Corbomite Maneuver.”

Priceless, endless, thoroughly no-strings-attached thanks to Betty Cracker for the much-needed ST inspiration. I hadn’t thought much about America’s first dusty Western in outer space in a very long time, but now I can’t escape the feeling that I’m vibrating on a Barcalounger filled with Tribbles!

Kneel before Clint!

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 05/09/13 at 05:38 PM
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Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Mirror, Mirror

Via J-Two-O via Another David S., an Audi ad featuring the Two Spocks:

Nerd-Child and I already have our Star Trek Into Darkness tickets and are eagerly awaiting the premiere. We both love the franchise, but the kiddo is even more stoked than usual because the wonderfully named Benedict Cumberbatch has joined the cast as Khan. Nerd-Child informed me that Cumberbatch’s fans are referred to as “Cumberbitches.” Not in this house, they aren’t.

Anyhoo, has any classic TV series produced as many national treasures as the original Star Trek, which gave us Leonard Nimoy, George Takei, Nichelle Nichols, William Shatner,  et al? Discuss! Or talk about whatever…

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 05/08/13 at 12:07 PM
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Categories: MoviesYouTubidity

Monday, May 06, 2013

Good Guys, Bad Guys and Freaking Idiots: A New Gun Proposal

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While most of us were hoisting a cerveza to celebrate Cinco de Mayo [or Cinco de Mao, if you prefer], this weekend, the NRA was hosting its annual member shindig in Houston, TX.  Because the NRA is all about selling guns, ammo, gun accessories, gun paraphernalia, gun books, gun art, gun everything the George R. Brown Convention Center was packed with the people who make and sell all of those things and the peaceful, law-abiding responsible citizens who buy them for peaceful, law-abiding, gun-loving fun, utility and sport.

By now, we’re all pretty familiar with the notion that there are two kinds of gun owners/users: good guys and bad guys.  And, according to the NRA, there’s nothing much we can do about the bad guys except outnumber and outgun them . . . and keep our heads down and our kids inside when the firing commences.

The NRA doesn’t actually endorse shootouts in the streets of America’s towns and cities, they just expect them, and therefore they want all Americans to own the firepower necessary to stay alive in 21st century America.  Children should have guns. Nuns should have guns. Hookers should definitely have guns—in fact, all God’s women should have guns.  Nerdy guys, conspiracy theorists, neighbors, teachers, clergymen and pizza delivery guys should all have guns so that fewer of them die at the hands of “bad guys.”  Even lying socialist Lie-bruls should have guns [and then maybe they’‘d wise up?]. Limiting access to guns won’t help because the bad guys will always be able to get them, therefore the good guys needs mo’ gunz!!

Because it seems inevitable that guns are in our future, in a big way, I’m concerned that perhaps the NRA bad guy vs. good guy profile of gun-owners is a little too simplistic and, perhaps, we need to expand it a bit to take in all possibilities.  I’m proposing this breakdown:  bad guys, good guys, freaking idiots. 

I’d also like to propose that instead of expanded background checks, Congress should consider IQ and EQ (a test for emotional maturity) testing for gun permits.  Now, I know that this will be an equally hard sell to the NRA because some percentage of gun manufacturers’ market share is clearly Freaking Idiots and, if my proposal were adopted, gun manufacturer profits could plummet.  The upside would be that we wouldn’t have four-year-olds receiving rifles for their birthday, or folks firing off 8,000 rounds to get a stiffie on a Sunday, or people killing their own kids while: cleaning, sighting, pretending to be James Bond or practicing their quick draw.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 05/06/13 at 10:33 AM
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Sunday, May 05, 2013

Cinco de Mao

Today, the fifth of May, marks an insidious annual attempt to lure John and Jane Q. Public into ignoring the threat to America posed by the Mexican Menace, also known as El Peligro Mejicano.  While unsuspecting Americans quaff frosty bottles of Corona beer (the name symbolizes the attempt to establish an Aztec kingdom in the U.S. after the overthrow of the democratic republic), the campaign to destroy America proceeds rapidamente.  The threat is subtle, as even corn-fed Midwesterners are being transformed into Mesoamerican corn people through, you got it, the consumption of corn.  If God wanted humans to consume corn, corn would be naturally edible, with no need to resort to fiendish Aztec alchemy to render the stuff wholesome.  At any rate, last year, the man who puts the MO in moron stumbled upon the connection between the Mexicans and the Communists.  The following is a recap of a post I wrote last year before joining the Rumproast team…

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Posted by Big Bad Bald Bastard on 05/05/13 at 12:54 AM
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Categories: PoliticsPolisnark

Saturday, May 04, 2013

If You Can’t Beat ‘em, Nullify ‘em

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Well, things are getting all testosterone-y out in the states, these days.  Letters are flying back and forth between Governors, Lt. Governors and the Department of Justice on a regular basis.  Still reeling from President Obama’s re-election and the dashing of their dreams of Mitt-topia, Republican governors in Red America have obviously decided that secession is way too costly and impractical and they are now concentrating their puffed-up provincial power on nullification.

In late April, Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback (R) signed the 2nd Amendment Protection Act, a so-called nullification act, in Kansas.  According to the new Kansas law, Kansas basically declares that it won’t enforce “unconstitutional laws” having to do with guns, magazines or ammunition:

Sec. 6. (a) Any act, law, treaty, order, rule or regulation of the government of the United States which violates the second amendment to the constitution of the United States is null, void and unenforceable in the state of Kansas.

Not really newsworthy since no one really expects them to uphold unconstitutional laws, anyway.  The key, here, is who decides whether or not a law is unconstitutional.  The Kansas law doesn’t go into that but everyone who’s passed high school civics knows the answer—and it isn’t the “Kansas Legislature.”

That’s just the silly part. 

The part that gave Eric Holder pause was this part:

Sec. 7. It is unlawful for any official, agent or employee of the government of the United States, or employee of a corporation providing services to the government of the United States to enforce or attempt to enforce any act, law, treaty, order, rule or regulation of the government of the United States upon a firearm, a firearm accessory, or ammunition that is manufactured commercially or privately and owned in the state of Kansas and that remains within the borders of Kansas. Violation of this section is a severity level 10 nonperson felony.

In defense of that bit of the law, State Representative Brett Hildabrand, shared visions of Nazis dancing in his head, saying:

The citizens of Kansas do not belong to the United States. The United States belongs to the citizens of Kansas! We cannot allow the response, “I was following orders” to be an excuse for violating our Constitutional rights. How many atrocities have been committed in history by people simply following orders?

I guess Kansans are more theatrical than I ever guessed.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 05/04/13 at 11:18 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Thursday, May 02, 2013

Oregon Medicaid Study Proves Obamacare is Useless!!11!!1

Because it is not improving blood pressure or cholesterol!!!

Wait, what?  What’s going on here?

So, a couple of years back Oregon had money to provide Medicaid to 10,000 people but unfortunately there were many more who needed it.  So they held a lottery and then had the idea of studying the random people who got picked for Medicaid coverage against a control group of people who didn’t get picked.  Some preliminary results were published several months back and now they have the rest of the results.  Led by the shrieking of the CATO Institute, righties are now declaring Obamacare to be a useless failure.  Mostly because blood pressure readings and cholesterol levels were not measurably different between the two groups. 

McArgleBlargle takes to her keyboard to proclaim that giving people government health insurance does not make them healthier and in fact maybe health insurance (for the poors) itself is a waste of money!

And it’s actually bigger, and more important than Obamacare.  We should all be revising our priors about how much health insurance—or at least Medicaid—really promotes health.  What this really tells us is how little we know about health care, and making people healthy—and how often data can confound even our most powerful intuitions.

“Or at least Medicaid” she says.  Which is, you know, what poor people, many of them with brown skins, use. 

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Posted by marindenver on 05/02/13 at 05:39 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaBedwettersHealth CareNutters

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