Thursday, November 28, 2013

Ferme la Bush!

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Well, it was bound to happen . . . Republicans have found a new way to distract America from Obamacare getting fixed by spreading the Too Stupid for Prime Time whopper that President Obama is closing the US embassy to the Vatican as retribution for Catholic resistance to certain employer mandates in the ACA. 

Conservative media has lit up like a Hannukah bush.  Drudge shrieks “Obama’s call to close Vatican embassy is ‘slap in the face’ to Roman Catholics”; WND opines “OBAMA ‘INSULTS’ CATHOLICS IN VATICAN-EMBASSY SHUTDOWN”; and the ever thoughtful dead-heads at Breitbart, seeing right to the heart of the matter report:

. . . the Obama administration is trying to diminish and discredit the Vatican’s role in the world because it’s pro-life, pro-family, and pro-religious freedom values is at odds with the Regime’s pro-abortion, pro-gay marriage stance.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 11/28/13 at 08:42 AM
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Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsElection '16NuttersRelijun

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Snowbound in DC

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Well, the TEA Party sure has given America a boatload of dumb shit over a relatively brief period of time but Henry J. Radel (R-FL), America’s first Hip-Hop Conservative, has to be way, way at the top of the list and a sure contender for inclusion in this year’s five-volume edition of #GOPFails To Remember.

Trey Radel started out as one of those Rad Young Cons to Watch, a sure-fire change agent who would have undecided millenials flocking to the GOP’s Big Top.  And—BONUS ALERT - Él habla español.  Definitely New Age GOP.

What political donors and supporters couldn’t have known, at the time, was that speaking Spanish was key to Radel’s Colombian back-packing quests for the world’s best blow - a mission that pre-dated Radel’s recent enthusiasm for representing the good people of his home district in the US Congress.

So, when Radel arrived at the Capitol, earlier this year, one of his priorities was to hook up with a Capitol Hill coke dealer.  And that’s when Trey Radel’s terminal stupidity and narcissism ruined the whole game . . . thank God.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 11/26/13 at 12:41 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Sunday, November 24, 2013

And Then A Hero Comes Along . . .

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Senior Statesman and the Keystone Kops Republican Party’s No. 2 man in Congress, Sen. John Cornyn (R-Loon Stare State), distinguished himself last night by being up late and one of the first US legislators to publicly react to the news that a breakthrough agreement with Iran had been reached over its nuclear enrichment program.

Upon learning that the US and other world leaders had successfully taken a first step in preventing Iran from building its own nuclear weapons,  Cornyn took to the Twitter with this provocative assessment:


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And, in one masterful move, Cornyn managed to diss Obama, make clear what his own priorities are and become an overnight favorite contender for Stupidest Tweet of the 21st Century.

And, apparently, I’m not the only one who thinks so . . .


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And that’s only the tippy-tippy-top of the troll scroll.  Well played Sen. Cornyn, sir.  Well played.

Posted by Bette Noir on 11/24/13 at 08:00 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrElection '14Nutters

Friday, November 22, 2013

Fire In The Hole!

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Well, it appears that the Hatfields are utterly gobsmacked that the McCoys have fired back at them.

In my opinion, the worst thing about all of this “nuclear” showdown is how widely and thoroughly misunderstood the whole business is, which might be due in some small part to the misnomer “nuclear option,” the coinage of which is usually attributed to the ever flamboyant Sen. Trent Lott (R-MISS) and implies something of epic proportion.

The Right Wingosphere is quivering with rage and awash in the tears of despondent patriots decrying “225 years of tradition blown away” and, I suspect, before too long, some ill-regulated militia will be suiting up to defend the Republic from Harry Reid. 

Well, take a breath, folks.  Rumors that the filibuster is dead have been greatly exaggerated—legislation, Supreme Court appointments can still be filibustered til the cows come home or until the Library of Congress runs out of Dr Seuss.

Reid’s Rule, as it has been dubbed, is a narrow rule change that addresses only judicial nominees and cabinet and administration positions.  In other words, appointments that have rarely been challenged in the past.  Appointments, in fact, that Republicans like Mitch McConnell have constantly reminded us should, for the most part, go unchallenged.

Is it possible that even the lowest-info Americans believe that the Senate has been operating flawlessly in some Utopian legislative realm, that has now, suddenly, been sacked by vandals and will never be the same?  Bullpucky.  If you believe that one, I have a compassionate conservative candidate you might be interested in voting for.  It wasn’t so very long ago that the very same Senate hosted a night of performance art, unforgettably rendered by Mr Cruz, Jr., to advance him in his effort to shut down the US government.

This Senate is not your granddaddy’s Senate and hasn’t been for quite some time . . .

As John Dickerson, channeling Sen. Robert Byrd, put it:

. . .  today’s change made what was de facto now de jure.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 11/22/13 at 11:56 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Wait! I Said Coup! COUP!!

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Mr C. W. Cooke [with an “e,” if you please] is a young British gent who has come to America to seek his fortune telling Americans how to do American better.  He does this important work in the pages of National Review and via occasional guest appearances on conservative thought leadership outlets such as Fox News, The Blaze and The Washington Times.

Now, aside from the fact that Mr Cooke, at 30 years old, has been in this country for only a grand total of two years, he is an Oxonian [British for a graduate of Oxford University] who has spent considerable hours swotting away [as they say] at Modern History and Politics. 

So. That makes him a very smart fellow indeed who has found his niche lecturing Americans on free speech, the Second Amendment and American Exceptionalism.  Obviously, young Mr Cooke is hankering to be an exceptional American himself.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 11/21/13 at 05:44 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersHealth CareOur Stupid Media

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Hypocrisy and Privilege: This is About Trey Radel


You know what? I’ll even spot Rep. Trey Radel (FL-R) his weak, borrowed from Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, excuse that he only did cocaine because he was such a drunk, because sure. It’s not like the sting that busted him was perpetrated because he already had a history of purchasing coke (it was), and in any event, I can’t talk about what drunk people might get up to. I am only an indifferent drunk myself. I do know I can’t afford $250 bucks worth of blow if I had that much to spend on bourbon. That is some fucking stupid drunkonomics. But maybe being wasted on microbrews made him wonder if he shouldn’t maybe be doing lines, just like I interrupt a wine binge with espressos (I do no such thing). Sure. That’s logical. (By which I mean “NOT”.)

What isn’t logical is being well aware that people acquire substances to help them through the bitter pain of their day to day existence and get dependent on them, and then thinking that it would be A-OK to penalize the poor for their propensity to self-medicate against the horror of a crappy reality by piss-testing people to qualify for their benefits.

Do I think Rep. Radel was maybe in the midst of getting high his ownself when he thought this would be a nifty exercise to spring on the poor? Yeah. I think so. Do I think he thought he was fundamentally different from some wasted SOB who couldn’t catch a job because he himself had a good one in Congress, and therefore, he was morally better than that other kind of substance-user? Yes, indeed. I think he believes he is morally and substantively different from some person who might use drugs, but does not have money.

In other words, he is a real prick. Now, there is drug and alcohol rehab, but I do not know that there is any successful “being a real prick” rehab. But he could use that kind. He surely could.

(X-posted at Strangely Blogged)

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 11/20/13 at 11:40 PM
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Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Say You Want A Revolution?

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Unless you’re a right-wing extremist voyeur or really peculiar in other ways you were probably completely unaware of the demonstration taking place in Lafayette Square across the street from the White House, today.

The demonstration/occupation/whatever is being led by a former Reagan administration DoJ prosecutor turned birther named Larry Klayman.  The name might ring a bell because Klayman showed up at the World War II memorial for the “Million Vets March,” last month, to help the Republicans who shut the memorial down, reopen it. 

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Posted by Bette Noir on 11/19/13 at 02:15 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersTeabaggery

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Creepers

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[Note to Roasters: By the time this is published many of the links in this post may have 404d.  The subject of the post is doing some pretty extensive damage control on his own links so I’ve tried to provide alternatives with clips from original.]

Every once in a while, on a Sunday, I’m moved to check up on what the God-botherers are up to, just for the hell it.  It just so happens that this week the hot story along those lines has to do with one Justin Lookadoo (I know?) whose current “ministry” is as a motivational speaker for high-schoolers [and any other age group that can cough up his speaker’s fee].

From what I can tell, the cool thing about being a Christian motivational speaker is that you don’t need any qualifications outside of being a Christian to make a full-time job of it.  Lookadoo couldn’t peddle his public speaking skills to bankers, for example, because he doesn’t know squat about high yield funds or T-Bonds.

But no-one has any problem signing him up to entertain 4th period hump-day assemblies because he, like his audience, was a teenager, attended high school and he’s Christian and that’ll do the kids some good, right?

Granted, in public schools, guys like Lookadoo have to “hide their light under a bushel” because . . . separation of church and state.  But, Texas, which is different, in many ways, is sort of relaxed about such quibbles.

And, so it is that Justin Lookadoo found himself before an auditorium full of teenagers at a high school in Richardson, TX, this week, just like thousands of other school speaking engagements he’s done over the years. 

Except that this one broke bad and went viral.  The kids in the audience started critiquing Lookadoo on Twitter and to say that they “pwned” him is something of an understatement.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 11/17/13 at 01:00 PM
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Categories: CrittersPoliticsNuttersWar On WomenRelijun

Friday, November 15, 2013

Blame It On Texas

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It’s become close to a truism that if political events conspire to give Republicans any kind of unanticipated boon, they will immediately find a way to fk it up, usually to disastrously hilarious effect.

And, so it is that Rep. Pete Olson (R-TX), who assures us he does not take his new project lightly, has rounded up eight other steely-eyed Texan reps, plus a handful of House conspiracy experts, to draw up Articles of Impeachment charging Attorney General Eric Holder with high crimes and other stuff that really ticks Republicans off.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 11/15/13 at 10:57 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Here There Be Trolls

Congressional Republicans—they are different, you know? Going back to the Truman Administration at least (no, actually, longer than that), pols have thought it might be kind of nice for Americans to have some kind of affordable access to medical coverage so they didn’t die of easily treatable maladies. It was just this thing, you know? We thought our fellow citizens were worthwhile human beings and that maybe they shouldn’t be bankrupted in the pursuit of bodily well-being and not being dead.

Maybe not everyone got the message that our fellow citizens are worthwhile human beings who shouldn’t be bankrupted in the pursuit of bodily well-being. What strikes me as exceptionally tasteless, though, are the folks who have decided that the decades-long work to cover most Americans’ health care was a source of amusement. Like the goofy galoot pictured above, who himself follows in the vein of Asclepius.

Well, sort of. He was a doctor, but somewhere along the way, he decided that science was Satan, and I guess the whole “taking care of the sick and suffering” thing became hilarious. You know he doesn’t really care because this is how he talks about Obamacare during an EPA hearing (I know, right? Like is global warming even a thing? So boring!):

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Posted by Vixen Strangely on 11/14/13 at 08:14 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrHealth CareNuttersPolisnark

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

I Am Woman.  Hear Me Roar . . .

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Well, it’s almost a year now since Willard Romney limped offstage and exactly nine months, almost to the day, that the Republican National Committee floated its 100-page manifesto for The Great Rebranding of 2013: The Growth and Opportunity Project (GOP—get it? how clever is that?).

The GOP was chock full of searing insights and smart advice for a titanic course adjustment and anyone unfamiliar with the actual Republican Party might have thought “by Jingo, I think they’ve got it!” 

Lines like:

The Republican Party needs to stop talking to itself. We have become expert in how to provide ideological reinforcement to like-minded people, but devastatingly we have lost the ability to be persuasive with, or welcoming to, those who do not agree with us on every issue.

and

Instead of driving around in circles on an ideological cul-de-sac, we need . . . a route into our Party that a non-traditional Republican will want to travel. Our standard should not be universal purity; it should be a more welcoming conservatism.

and, especially:

The Republican Party must focus its efforts to earn new supporters and voters in the following demographic communities: Hispanic, Asian and Pacific Islanders, African Americans, Indian Americans, Native Americans, women, and youth. This priority needs to be a continual effort that affects every facet of our Party’s activities, including our messaging, strategy, outreach, and budget.

AMEN! Y’all . . . a regular Rainbow Coalition, feel me?

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Posted by Bette Noir on 11/13/13 at 10:08 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrElection '12MittensElection '14Election '16War On Women

Monday, November 11, 2013

I’m a Man, Yes I Am

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Here’s what happened when the Arlington, TX Low-T Support Group got wind that the Arlington chapter of Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America [which consists of four gun-grabbing “moms”] were “meeting” at the Blue Mesa Grill in a local shopping center, on Saturday . . . 

Characterizing the lunch date as an “Anti-Gun Rally,” the local heroes of Open Carry Texas arrived on the scene “locked and loaded,” determined to turn their devotion to their 2nd Amendment rights into an awe-inspiring flash mob that would teach those subversive Moms a lesson.

So it is that 40 or so bored, mental midgets assembled outside the door of the Blue Mesa Grill to mug for the camera, compare magazine sizes, man-scratch, spit and scare the piss out of weekend shoppers because that’s what degenerate bullies do for entertainment. 

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Posted by Bette Noir on 11/11/13 at 11:12 AM
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Sunday, November 10, 2013

So Let Me Get This Straight, 60 Minutes…

The respected tv news show runs a story about Benghazi, which Lara Logan says she worked on for a year, which basically melted like a snowball in a saucepan in something like 48 hours, and the correction and apology takes up just a couple minutes at the end of the show, and that is that?

Okay. We have a story that seems to have consisted of one flawed source with no corroborating eyewitness, whose book has been recalled and will be pulped, I guess. And there must be some indignity, no doubt, in 60 Minutes now being fact-checked by WND. They point out that Dylan Davies, who went by a pseudonym “for his protection” in the piece and as a nom de plume, was mentioned as having left town in a Telegraph story a year ago. This is really rather embarrassing for them, you’d think?

Or maybe they’d simply prefer not to dwell on how they got this one wrong. I do not know that it’s true, as fired former 60 Minutes exec Mary Mapes speculates, that they did this story specifically to appeal to a right wing audience, but I agree with the lesson that this is “instructive”, in the sense that just because there are people pointing to something, doesn’t mean that something is really there. I also don’t know whether a former Fox News honcho now with CBS had much to do with green-lighting the piece, except to agree that it is fascinating how stories can seem to serve certain biases, hm?

The mea culpa here seems a bit insufficient in this case particularly, though, in that the ongoing appearance of a bigger story has been the basis for a certain senator holding up Obama administration nominees--not that the spoiling of this particular line of inquiry has any effect. But all the same—if the organization is interested in getting it right, and fails, maybe they should try caring about making it right?

(And as an aside, regarding Sen. Graham’s continued quest to appear relevant in the face of his primary challenges, would it be entirely possible for him to appear actively obstructive if not foolhardy if his stand continued to turn up nothing of note? After all, if the Administration’s position as of 9/12/12 was no different than what anyone else knew at the time, you’ve not really got evidence of a cover-up at all, so much as the Administration’s failure to be omniscient—a standard that most people would agree is mighty high to expect of mere humans. I dunno. Maybe Graham is a romantic at heart and has always been prone to the menacing of aerial turbines. But this is shall we say, a Quixotic act—not realpolitik.)

(X-posted at Strangely Blogged.)

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 11/10/13 at 11:24 PM
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The Fever Swamp’s Not So Deep Anymore

The news that Rand Paul got a gig with Breitbart’s organization after the Moony Times cast him loose because of repeated instances of plagiarism made me nostalgic for some of the hilarious conspiracy-theorizing that the right-wing engaged in when Carroll O’Connor’s evil doppelgänger kicked the bucket.  The sheer lunacy of those paranoid comments inspired me to check out Free Republic, one of the worst fever-swamps of the American right.

I was a bit taken aback when I checked out the site, which often featured thousand-post comment threads.  The most recent threads didn’t break double digits, and many of them had less than ten comments.  Apparently, the moderators at the site conduct purges (recounted more fully at this right-wing site).  The purging of insufficiently right-wing members of the commentariat was common enough so that the community had it’s own term for a banning.  A look at the site’s web traffic revealed a precipitous drop in late 2012 (I wonder why?) and in early 2013… it seems to be clawing its way back up to a decent traffic level, but the spirit of the community seems to be diminished.

Happily, I found the site Freeper Madness, so I don’t have to actually check out Free Republic to get a dose of right-wing lunacy.  Yeah, I can give my traffic to a great site, not one of the worst sites out there.  For added bonus content, I’m including some Freeper comments which perfectly illustrate the combination of paranoia and narcissism that infects even rank-and-file right wingers.  Beneath the fold, there’s comedy gold…

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Posted by Big Bad Bald Bastard on 11/10/13 at 06:23 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersPolisnark

Friday, November 08, 2013

El Cucuy Gonna Getcha, If You Don’t Watch Out

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Apparently, Ted Cruz is feeling a little insecure these days what with his highly publicized catalog of freshman fiascoes and the fact that dear old Dad, Senor Crazypants, is upstaging him at every turn, lately.

The most recent sign that Cruz is making a course adjustment was news, last week, coming out of a closed-door Republican luncheon, that Cruz has promised to “not actively campaign against” his Senate colleagues or “help raise money for their primary opponents.”

What a guy!

So. What does a megalomaniac do when he’s not getting enough attention? well, this one goes out to his own backyard and barks at the president in a typically Cruz-ian display of tastelessness and deplorably bad timing.

Days away from the 50th anniversary of the Kennedy assassination in Dallas, TX, Cruz decides that it would be appropriate to publicly warn President Obama against coming to Dallas:

President Obama should take his broken promises tour elsewhere so Texans can continue focusing on the solutions that have allowed our state to become and remain the nation’s economic and job creation powerhouse.

No wonder some Tejanos refer to Ted Cruz as El Cu-cuy—the boogeyman.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 11/08/13 at 12:45 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '16NuttersTeabaggeryRelijun

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