Friday, January 31, 2014

Want A Cookie Little Girl?

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Well, the Flying Monkeys of the Righteous Right have turned their laser-like focus on that insidious incubator of the RADICAL FEMINIST AGENDA!! and AGENT OF LESBIANISM!1!! the Girl Scouts of America.  The FMRR became aware, back in December, during the Merry Christmas season, that the GSA had tweeted out some suggestions for Girl Scouts to think about in advance of choosing their Woman of the Year for 2013. 

That list just happened to include State Sen. Wendy Davis, whom the FMRR have lovingly dubbed Abortion Barbie, and Quelle horreur!  Kathleen Sebelius, loyal Obamabot and Woman Who Refuses to Cry, Resign or Otherwise Submit to Congressional Committees.

The FMRR have mulled over their options and have decided that a fitting penance for such unladylike thoughts would be to hit the little beggars and their feminista handlers in the purse.  Thus it is that COOKIECOTT 2014 was born . . .

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I don’t know about the rest of you Roasters but I’m not doing without my thin mints or samoas . . . think I’ll order a case of each.

Posted by Bette Noir on 01/31/14 at 08:28 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersWar On Women

Thursday, January 30, 2014

One Sh*t Sandwich - Hold The Bread.  Coming Right Up!

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Evidently, House Republicans were so inspired by President Obama’s SOTU speech that they stayed up all night dreaming up really cool, bipartisan ways to help him achieve the goals he outlined.

Republicans really hate it when people accuse them of being a do-nothing pack of congressional losers because they have binders—they can show ‘em to you—full of really great laws that would fix so many problems if Obama would just put down his veto pen and quit being such a dictator.

So, this morning, House Republican leaders delivered a letter, to the President, promising to pull four of their favorite 2013 bills out of the circular file and toss them across the aisle and give him one more chance to be a team player, because this is an election year and nobody likes a do-nothing Congress.

Without further ado here are their offerings:

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/30/14 at 04:23 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaBqhatevwrElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

GOP SOTU Response: Talking To Myself And Feeling Old

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(h/t Ban T-shirts for their inspired design above)

Well, now, I’ll bet a whole lot of women feel much better this morning after Cathy McMorris-Rodgers invited the nation to join her at her well-appointed hearth to feel the love coming from the new outreachy GOP. 

Actually she didn’t do too badly, given her mission, but I have to agree with Ann Coulter for once in my life, that Republicans should ditch the voice coaches . . . whatever. 

McMorris-Rodgers did pretty much what I was expecting, stopping short of changing a diaper on camera, reading Green Eggs and Ham to her six-year-old or explaining why she votes against things like VAWA, the Lily Ledbetter Act or extending unemployment benefits when her district has some of the highest unemployment rates in the state.

I have to assume that the idea of putting Rep. McMorris-Rodgers forward was to prove that far from waging a War on Women, Republicans are anxious to welcome more women into the fold.  I’m not sure who masterminds such strategies but it’s obviously someone who doesn’t realize that nice, white, traditional values, supermom evangelicals already pretty much vote Republican . . .

I suppose that the rest of American women - single career women, single mothers, college students, senior women, women of color, Native American women, Latinas, poor women, lesbians, disabled women—the bulk of women, in other words, are just not that attractive to the GOP.  Or, maybe they realize that they just don’t have much to offer women like that and probably never will.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/29/14 at 04:36 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggeryWar On Women

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

The State Of The Union Is A Cryin’ Shame

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Nothing in recent history has galvanized the Republican party more than the back to back presidencies of George W. Bush and Barack Obama.  Bush, who has been deemed by historians as arguably one of the worst US presidents in history, did his party no favors in the public image department. 

And the very thought of Barack Obama, the United States’ first African-American president presiding over the Oval Office has driven today’s largely white Republican Party to distraction, eliciting characterizations of Obama as a witch doctor, a Muslim, a fraudulent foreign-born usurper, a Nazi, the evil mastermind behind a New World Order and a Communist among other things . . . not that they’re racist.

The aberrational and reactionary TEA Party wave of 2010 led demoralized congressional Republicans to believe that all was forgiven and that they had a popular mandate to kneecap Obama’s presidency by launching a full-out campaign to obstruct and undermine any of Obama’s policy efforts and initiatives. 

Unfortunately their nihilistic crusade has done measurable harm to the country and shows no sign of abating any time soon.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/28/14 at 03:45 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Something Is Rotten In Jersey

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Thanks to Chris Christie, little unassuming New Jersey is getting an awful lot of attention lately.  Maybe we should have been paying more attention, all along . . .

By now, many folks following New Jersey news have heard about the AshBritt scandal.  Hurricane Sandy turned lots of New Jersey into a trash heap.  The stuff had to be cleared away before anything else could be done.  Gov. Christie deemed it an emergency and hired a Florida company called AshBritt on a pal’s recommendation.  The pal was Haley Barbour, former governor of Mississippi, Hurricane Katrina handler and world class mega-lobbyist.  I guess there weren’t any trash haulers in the tri-state area . . .

Other haulers underbid AshBritt but never received responses from the state.  AshBritt got the contract and then just happened to take out a $50,000 subscription to the Republican Governors’ Association, a major backer of both of Gov. Christie’s campaigns. 

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/26/14 at 01:21 PM
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Categories: CrittersPolitics

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Disappointed in Dinesh D’Souza

The situation may well be dire for Dinesh D’Souza, conservative public intellectual, film-maker, and Christmas tree salesman.  His recent indictment for charges of campaign finance fraud, for allegedly filtering $20K in campaign contributions to a long-time friend, Wendy Long, through “straw contributors”, could very well result in mandated jail time if he is found guilty. As in the picture above, you could say he’s up the creek on this one, but it’s a very odd thing, if you ask me.

Now, I don’t care for D’Souza, as might be evident by how I’ve written about him in the past. His claim that there is something un-American about being opposed to British colonialism, and selling that idea to people in tricorn hats waving stars and stripes, struck me as a tad incongruous and not without some racialist undertones when I first heard it, and I pretty much determined where his head was at when he quite recently made a tasteless tweet  using a dead youth to malign the current president. His sensationalization of Barack Obama’s “hidden” life and times in his wingnut welfare hit (job) movie aimed low and didn’t miss hitting a low bar and stumbling right over, failing to actually be in any way a meaningful criticism of the President, even if a meaningful criticism based on policy from a conservative point of view could have potentially been made—but might not have been “sexy” enough for the president of a smallish Christian college who did not realize that not even being divorced from his current wife would look bad if he was kinda shacking up with some other lady.

But if anything, senationalist hot-button books and movies at least have some lucrative value, even if they don’t live up to what an actual intellectual dissection of the target might mean in actual effect. But this indictment is talking about a mere $20k (is that—“That they can prove” or what?) laundered (to use a term of art) through straw contributors (they had to have consented, yes?) to a campaign that lost so very, very considerably.  I mean it wasn’t even close. Twenty large would have barely closed the deal on enough media time to make it remotely competitive. Not disrespecting whether he and the former Wendy Stone went way back—but what makes a guy risk jail time and at least four other suckers unindicted co-conspirators go in for the thing? Sheer ignorance of the FEC and laws thereabout? This is neither brain science nor rocket surgery, friends.

I get that some conspiracy-minded folks are saying this is a biased charge, but I find it hard to think there would be motion on this without any evidence at all.  I’m thinking this is out there because the Feds are dead-to-rights on the 20G’s they know about. Anything they shake out besides that is gravy. I just can’t figure out why.

That’s disappointing. What did he think he was doing there? For a public intellectual, he could be more smart.

(X-posted at Strangely Blogged.)

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 01/25/14 at 01:23 AM
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Friday, January 24, 2014

GOP Declares 2014 Year of Lady Outreach

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(h/t to Down With Tyranny for the stunning portrait above)

Well! it’s that magical time of year when Republicans hole up with the RNC to plot their next moves and this year should be a doozy because . . . REBRAND!

Apparently, Republicans have weighed their many options—Blacks? Latinos? Gays? Poors? Millenials?—and decided that 2014 will be The Year Of The Lady under the GOP Big Top.  In keeping with that theme, one of the very first orders of business for this year’s Republican Retreat was to eradicate the notion that there ever was/is or will be a Republican War on Women.

And anyone who thinks there ever was is most likely a Liebrul slut who mistakes Republican core principles for misogyny.  Transvaginal ultrasounds, IRS rape audits and forcing women to buy special lady insurance are simply conservative approaches for saving women from their pathetic dependence on Uncle Sugar to regulate their uncontrollable libidos or being lured into servitude by Democrat welfare checks.

To that end, Republicans have proposed the following resolution for 2014, on which they will vote, today:

RESOLUTION ON REPUBLICAN PRO-LIFE STRATEGY

RESOLVED, The Republican National Committee condemns the Democrats’ deceptive “war on women” rhetoric;

RESOLVED, The Republican National Committee will support Republican pro-life candidates who fight back against Democratic deceptive “war on women” rhetoric by pointing out the extreme positions on abortion held by Democratic opponents;

RESOLVED, The Republican National Committee will not support the strategy of Republican pro-life candidates who stay silent in the face of such deceptive rhetoric; and,

RESOLVED, The Republican National Committee urges all Republican pro-life candidates, consultants, and other national Republican Political Action Committees to reject a strategy of silence on the abortion issue when candidates are attacked with “war on women” rhetoric.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/24/14 at 01:07 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrElection '14NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryRelijun

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Looks Like Hillary Clinton Is Going to Run After All

I was one of maybe five people who didn’t think Hillary Clinton was going to run for president in 2016. Looks like I was wrong (via the NYT):

The largest liberal “super PAC” in the country has begun raising money to elect Hillary Rodham Clinton president, formally aligning itself with Mrs. Clinton’s undeclared presidential ambitions more than two years away from the election.

The group, Priorities USA Action, which played a pivotal role in helping re-elect President Obama, also named new directors to steer the organization, appointments that will both cement the group’s pro-Clinton tilt and thrust veterans of Mr. Obama’s political and fund-raising operation into the center of the post-Obama Democratic Party.

Derp. There’s no way dialed-in folks like Jim Messina, et al, are out there shaking high-dollar donors down on behalf of HRC if she’s not running. So she’s running.

I’m not sure how to feel about that. I’ll definitely vote for her if she wins the nomination, and considering that the Republicans will hork up some psycho who will pledge to slash the social safety net and roll back rights for women, gays and minorities to disguise the party’s machinations on behalf of the plutocrat class, I’ll not only vote for her, I’ll donate to her campaign and work my ass off locally to get her elected. 

But I’m far from convinced she’s the right candidate for all sorts of reasons. What do you guys think?

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 01/23/14 at 11:16 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '16Hillary Clinton

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Yo! Kentucky! Pleaaassse . . Ditch Mitch

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Well it must be an election year for Senate Satrap and Most Valuable Obstructor, Mitch McConnell (R-KY), because he’s starting to surround himself with military veterans and cancer survivors once again.  And campaign manager Jesse Benton has been spotted going around sporting a chip clip on his nose . . .

Back in November, for Veteran’s Day:

McConnell spoke to a group of his supporters at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in a room decorated with American flags and ‘Veterans for Team Mitch’ signs.

 

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/22/14 at 01:47 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Monday, January 20, 2014

As The Worm Turns: Jersey Edition

No one can say that New Jersey’s Lt. Gov, Kim Guadagno is not a woman of her word.

According to Hoboken Mayor Dawn Zimmer, she met with Guadagno five days after Hoboken’s planning board rejected the recommendations of a study that would have advanced a redevelopment project and alleges she was was told by Guadagno:

It [the development project] is very important to the governor.  The word is that you are against it, and you need to move forward or we are not going to be able to help you. I know it’s not right — these things should not be connected — but they are and if you tell anyone, I will deny it.

And deny it she did in a command performance, this morning:

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/20/14 at 01:37 PM
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Sunday, January 19, 2014

Message In a Bubble:  Jennifer Rubin Edition

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(h/t photo by the one and only Mario Piperni)

Jennifer Rubin is a conservative opinion blogger for The Washington Post and for the eleventy-umpteenth time she has just about had it with the mainstream media’s lack of journalistic integrity and shoddy workmanship [this time she’s looking at you, MSNBC].

Yesterday Ms. Rubin took to her blogatorium to inform us that if there is a real scandal to this whole BridgeGate thing, it is actually MSNBC’s persecution of jolly old Gov. Christie who has already told us “I am not a bully, so fuhgeddaboudit already!”  There is so much utter silliness in this blog post that I only just finished unpacking it by Sunday morning.

If you are unfamiliar with Ms. Rubin’s oeuvre you might want to read this short offering, from last year, explaining why conservatives hate the mainstream media [which generously pays her salary].  It is cleverly entitled “Why Conservatives Hate the Mainstream Media.”  The gist of it is that conservatives hate the mainstream media because mainstream journos are lazy, lying, un-serious, morally bankrupt Lefties who never ask Obama the hard questions.

So, it’s only a short hop, skip and a jump from there to how Rachel Maddow, Steve Kornacki and Chris Hayes are just the biggest meanies in smear-dom for their abuse of Chris Christie aka the GOP’s Great White Hope 2016.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/19/14 at 02:19 PM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '16NuttersOur Stupid Media

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Constitution: 3 States: 0

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This week Oklahoma, Pennsylvania and North Carolina became the latest states to run headlong into the brick wall otherwise known as the US Constitution.  Increasingly, state legislators who don’t care for the way things are headed, in the country, have taken to writing their own laws, amending their state constitutions and proposing ballot initiatives to protect their political, social policy and ideological comfort zones.

Evidently, judging by the number of such actions, out in the states, quite a few states are uncomfortable with the powers-that-be, inspiring state executives and legislators to frequently bandy about concepts like state’s rights, nullification, secession, impeachment and the most recent addition to the Extreme Playbook, the Second Amendment Solution.

Fortunately, the framers of our constitution foresaw that leading a vibrant, young nation might sometimes devolve into an exercise in herding cats and they prudently built that framework of very stern stuff.  Our constitution has survived some very trying times and ultimately, those tests have strengthened it and repeatedly strengthened our resolve to uphold the core principles that make us the global model of Democracy.

As with most foundational documents, though, ours are open to interpretation and argument and, in some cases, amendment but, ultimately such instruments must pass a rigorous testing of their essential constitutionality before becoming part of the fabric of American law.  Thus the framers attempted to protect citizens against the self interests, regional imperatives and transient political agendas of their elected representatives.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/18/14 at 12:21 PM
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Categories: LGBTPoliticsNuttersRelijun

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

The Rebranding 2014: Brave New GOP

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If anyone asks [and, so far, no one has] I’d have to give the RNC’s rebranding effort aka the Growth and Opportunity Project a solid F+.  The plus is for the one thing that was prescribed in that roadmap that Republicans actually seem to be doing something about—creating a 21st century GOTV operation to beef up their heretofore pathetic ground game.

For that particular line item, I’d give them a C because they are still talking about it, have made a few hires and announced that the Republican National Committee is getting out of the political ad business to focus its considerable talents on IT.  Judging from their condescending derision of all things healthcare.gov, this should be entertaining.

The Republican National Committee says it is changing its entire approach to campaigns, electing to focus on building the party’s grass roots on a constant basis rather than stockpiling money for TV ads in the months before an election.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/15/14 at 01:59 PM
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Categories: LGBTPoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

The Loon Star State!  Not For Everyone . . .

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Just suppose you’re the lucky blogger who is invited to speak at the Texans for Freedom and Liberty “Freedom Rally” at the Cottonwood Creek Baptist Church last Saturday.  Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to loosen up the crowd with a little conservative humor [oxymoron alert] before the main event:  The One, The Only, Senator Ted Cruz.

You must find just the right subject matter and tone so that the crowd will be ready for The Really, Really Serious Message to be delivered straight from the lips of The Anointed One.

Here’s what Bill Whittle came up with:

“You will see a lot of cars coming west heading east on Interstate 10, and they’re going to have California license plates on them,” Whittle said, as the crowd begins to laugh. “Now, if you see these cars pull into rest areas or hotels or restaurants, that’s fine; wave goodbye, make sure they go out on the Louisiana end.”

“But if you see them pull off into residential areas, you need to open fire on these vehicles immediately,” Whittle said, as the crowd laughs appreciatively and applauds loudly. “Immediately. Not with 9mm or AR rounds; you need to put mortars on those things, you cannot take any chances.”

And, just in case anyone found that advice a little scary:

“What’s the worst that could happen to you?” Whittle said. “I mean, honestly, this is Texas, right? You’ll stand in front of a Texas judge, (and) he’ll say, ‘Did you shoot up that car full of Californians?’ You’ll say yes, he’ll say why. You’ll say, ‘Well, your honor, they needed killing.’ And he’ll say, ‘We’ll strike a medal in your honor,’ and off you go.”

HAW!HAW!HAW Y’ALL!

I know, I know, Texas . . .

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/14/14 at 01:10 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrElection '14NuttersTeabaggery

Sunday, January 12, 2014

FUHGEDDABOUDIT!

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I was born, raised and have lived most of my life next door to New Jersey.  And when I say “next door”  I mean two miles from the border.  I worked in New Jersey for many, many years.  When I tell you that Jersey is “different,” you can trust me.  And it was “different” for decades before The Sopranos created an indelible and enduring image for a state that most Americans couldn’t find on the map without help.

When I was growing up, on the edges of Philadelphia, people talked about so-and-so being “connected.”  That one word, applied to an acquaintance, a relative, a co-worker—whoever—produced instant shock and awe.  It meant that the person referred to had serious juice and was completely hands-off.  A connected guy could snatch your grannie’s purse or set the neighbor’s cat on fire, for an audience in broad daylight, but nobody, including the cop on the beat, would ever see a thing.

Being “connected” didn’t necessarily mean that you were a mob princeling or even a “wise guy” but it meant you did business with such people on a regular basis and that smart people would stay out of your way.

And it wasn’t all fear and loathing, either.  Connected guys were often heroes in their neighborhoods because they could make the seemingly impossible happen.  Troubles with the zoning board?  need a traffic light on your street?  need a loan that no bank will give you?  connected guys help out the little people and the little people don’t forget.  And the world goes round . . .

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/12/14 at 02:07 PM
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Categories: New York CityBrooklynPoliticsElection '16

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