No question Adam Lambert would have done it with a lot more flair. ;-)

I only watch the auditions phase. Everything after that is just bleh.

I guarantee you I could walk into any third-rate karaoke bar in any piss-ant town and find someone with a better voice and superior stage presence.

Or Senator Scott Brown’s house. (Marindenver will get that reference. ;-)

Can we make it a rule that anyone who sings the National Anthem as though he is being prodded with a red hot poker actually GETS prodded with a red hot poker?

I blame it on Whitney Houston. Ever since she destroyed the modern pop song by refuuuuuusing to eeeeeverrrrr hiiiiiit the fricking nooooooooooote, every goddamned pop singer who’s followed is some sort of Whitney imitation.

May she be haunted by zombie Cole Porter and zombie John Lennon the rest of her days. As to AI, I remain spotless in my record of having never seen it.

Having had to sit through hundreds if not thousands of versions of this former British drinking song-turned national anthem and listening to singer after singer turn it into a bluesy-poppy-dirge rife with ear-shattering librettos, long drawn-out warbling and off-tune screeching I recommend a Constitutional amendment to require that any playing or singing of this horrible ditty must be done within 1:00. If not, the mic gets shut down and we get to see what we came for, some form of sporting contest.

Can’t you find the Grateful Dead version?

Can’t you find the Grateful Dead version?

Nope, it’d be about 8 minutes long.

If not, the mic gets shut down administers 10,000 amps to the singer’s face and we get to see what we came for, some form of sporting contest.

Fixored.