Alabama’s Utility Rate Hikes For Christ


A lot of folks have already taken a swat at the following religio-comic-absurdist story and moved on but, as I’m a gay woman of the 21st century, I feel a certain sense of entitlement to get my own licks in when the anti-gay crusaders of the Religious Right make particular fools of themselves.

To wit:

Twinkle Cavanaugh (real name) is the duly elected President of the Alabama Public Services Commission that oversees statewide public utilities.  Twinkle called a hearing to discuss state utility rate structures and asked John Delwin Jordan to testify at that hearing.  It’s unclear to me what qualifies Jordan, a Baptist minister and President of the Prattville (real name) TEA Party, to address utility rate structures but, then, lots of things bewilder me these days.

Nevertheless, testify Jordan did—he testified for JESUS!  Here’s that, captured on tape.

Twinkle Cavanaugh introduced Rev. Jordan, of East Memorial Baptist Church in Prattville, and encouraged the public to sign up for his newsletters. She said his weekly emails would “challenge you to walk closer with our Creator.”

Our gay-bashing Creator, I guess . . .

In case you couldn’t quite make it all out here’re highlights from Rev. Jordan’s free-associative prayer:

I pray, Lord, once again, as we take the pledge in a few moments, that we will render to when it comes to one nations, under God may we put you first and seek you first in our lives and all these other so important what we call things will be added unto.

Maybe he’s speaking in tongues because I just can’t work out what any of that means.

We’ve taken you out of our schools; we’ve taken you out of our prayers; we’ve murdered your children; we’ve said it’s OK to have same-sex marriage, God. We have sinned.

OK.  That part’s pretty clear except maybe for the part about ” we’ve taken you out of our prayers”?  Do they even still qualify as prayers?

Whatever.  Moving on to the political bits? well, the Prattville TEA Party, headed by Rev. Jordan has a grand total of six members, including the reverend and appears to have an unhealthy preoccupation with Sharia Law. 

Here’s the promotion, on their website, for the next meeting in August:

As The Prattville TEA Party leader John D. Jordan I am asking that you make this a MUST come to meeting.

Islam is nothing to take lightly.  It is the most alarming CULT out there and effects each and every American.

The Rev.Dave McLemore who is the ”Seniors Minister” at E.B.M.C. will be the keynote speaker.  A few years ago Brother Dave taught a weekly Bible study on all the different cults in the world.  So I felt he would be the most qualified to speak on the subject.  Brother Dave will give a eye opening presentation about Sharia Law along with hand outs.

Sharia Law and the United States Law are INCOMPATIBLE!

Yet the United States is funding it by buying oil and gas for our energy and transportation.  Sharia Law tells the Muslims that they are not to obey the laws of another country because it does not apply to them.  They are not to be held accountable to the United States Law because it supports Religious Freedom.  They do not want us to say anything (kind of swept it your the rug) while they set back and wait to were the numbers play out.

When they build a Mosque (like they are trying to do two blocks away from ground zero in New York) it is a symbol to the Muslim Nation around the world victory and it claims that nation.

They live by the Karan and in it (we) Israel and the United States are infidels and Muslims enemy’s.  Find out things that will shake up your thinking about Islam.  In the Karen it will tell you is is alright to have sex with girls and boys at age six and can marry at age nine.

Please mark your calendar PTP on Tuesday August 13th.

I know.  Semi-literate and frighteningly racist and ignorant . . .

But, let’s not forget that this is the guy that the President of the Alabama Public Services Commission introduced as her “role model” and the guy she has asked to testify during an official rate structure meeting as a representative of the Prattville TEA Party.  Maybe he shared his ideas about how Alabama can avoid supporting Sharia law by boycotting “oil and gas for (their) energy and transportation?”

Call me cynical but, in my opinion, all of this prayer is, as always, gaudy righteous cover for very irreligious practices. 

Here’s what John Archibald of the Birmingham News has to say about that:

She (Cavanaugh) gets – and Alabama Power gets – exactly what they want. They want the issue lost in passionate belief, an ideological tussle designed to pit tree-huggers against coal miners, conservationists against those concerned with jobs, liberals against conservatives.  Not because this issue really divides along those lines, but because those are the shiny things that everybody in Alabama can grab hold of.

Cavanaugh knows, and Alabama Power knows, that most Alabamians will raise their hand for prayer every time. Most, when asked, will choose jobs over trees. And most, if they don’t know what to think, will find their answers to the right.

And here’s the meat:

They (PSC hearings) are about Alabama Power’s rate structure. Period. It is a structure – though debated to near incomprehension at these hearings – that is high for residential customers and low for industry. It allows the company to write off an $8 million salary for CEO Charles McCrary as Operations and Maintenance, at a government-regulated monopoly.

It lets the company take a return on equity 30-40 percent higher than the national average, according to testimony today that was not disputed, and allows it to take hundreds of millions in higher profits that could be saved by ratepayers and pumped back into the economy.

Let us pray . . . because this kind of idiotic sleight-of-hand is happening all over America and it’s far more real and far more scary, to me, than “creeping Sharia.”

Posted by Bette Noir on 07/26/13 at 03:32 PM • Permalink

Categories: LGBTPoliticsRelijun

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Let me guess, this guy wants English to be the official language of the United States.

Head, desk, I believe you’ve met before.

if he wants english to be the official language, he’d better learn how to speak it. right now, it seems he’s only fluent in redneck gibberish.

That’s not redneck gibberish, it’s speaking in tongues, Jesus’s own personal language*. 

*Opinions vary on this matter…..

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