Amy Siskind: Liberalism’s Ex-Girlfriend

You broke her heart, and now she hates you. She keyed your Audi and fried your vinyl album collection in Crisco. She got elected to your Borough Zoning Council just so she could tear down your privacy fence and have your driveway designated a “toll road.” She sent a confidential letter to your company’s HR department requesting clarification on corporate policy regarding homosexuality, gambling addictions and employee theft, and signed your name to it. Now she’s on Fox News shilling for a candidate who’ll burn you both, only Amy will be laughing as the flames consume her on a pile of your favorite Italian pullovers.

Then you’ll be sorry. And you’ll wish you’d been nicer, you selfish bastard.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/22/11 at 09:12 AM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsElection '12Manic ProgressivesNuttersPUMAs

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Pure brilliance, the only thing you left out was boiling the pet bunny rabbit.

Hahaha! In addition to bitterness, PUMA Palin fans like Siskind also seem to have trouble relinquishing the impression of Palin they formed between the moment they first heard her name and the second before she first opened her pie hole on the national stage.

Palin unites people? She’s “libertarian” on social issues? She’s capable of working with non-wingnuts? She excels at explaining things to people? On what fucking planet?

PLEASE LISTEN TO AMY, SARAH!

Poor Amy, reduced to being the token librul endorsing the Quitbull.

This is all Obama’s fault, of course.

OK, the words are bonkers and she’s finally come out as a Repub, so I’ll be lookist just to be annoying.

That’s one heck of a makeover Lady Lynn Ladedah’s cash bought.

@YAFB — Only alien “stealth” science recovered from the Roswell crash could have smoothed out that wedge-head, fer sure.

Of course her heart is broken! Doesn’t “Oh….hey there, Amy….you’re going to the prom? Um, that’s good..yeah, I’ll be there…mind if I just squeeze around you to my front porch? I think I hear my mother calling…BYE!” actually mean “Please please please, Amy Siskind, be my date to the prom?”

Sure Sarah’s a solution: two parts paranoia, two parts self-pity, add one part each jingoism, greed, and mean, muddle with a cluestick, serve agitated and always remember to consume irresponsibly.

BTW, “Larchmont Lockjaw” is evidently not a myth!

Betty hit all my salient squawking points.  Palin, benefactress of the nation’s only socialized distribution of corporate assets, a libertarian?  The snarkiest mean girl in the cafeteria can
“bring people together”?

And yet she went unchallenged.  On Fox!

It’s innaresting, innit, to see on the teevee a well-groomed woman entirely and completely full of shit.

The snarkiest mean girl in the cafeteria can “bring people together”?

Well, by all acounts she did wonders on that front within the McCain campaign. They were almost unanimous in their dislike of the grifter.

She’s running! She’s running!H/t to LGM.

@ DXM—we can surely believe Mr. Singleton on the strength of this:

Though he is the Iowa “Organize4Palin” representative, it doesn’t seem that Singleton has any inside information about Palin’s campaign or about any deeper purpose her September 3 appearance at the Iowa tea party rally.

“I believe that she will run,” he said. “I can’t see her sitting this election out.”

Hey, that’s good enough for me.

She’s running! She’s running!

Heh. Peter Singleton is a freelance pol loon in Iowa who reputedly has no formal links at all to Palin’s apparatus. Last seen collaborating with Ian Lazaran of C4P to cock up the Pella premier of Palin’s picnic picture show.

Hey, that’s good enough for me.

Oh ye of little faith:

Mrs. Palin is remaining relatively quiet…..she is waiting….she (and only she) knows her battle plan….she knows her timing…..she is learning….studying the opposition….guarding the “cubs”....waiting quietly with occasional “roars” (like the Iowa State Fair).....reconnoitering the challengers from within and the enemies from without…..studying their weaknesses….building and conserving her own strength….endlessly practicing….reading…honing her skills…..waiting…..waiting…

This war has not yet begun. What has been seen of the other candidates to date has been nothing but minor and irrelevant skirmishing. Candidates in…candidates out….candidates winning….candidates losing…..candidates saying silly things…..candidates saying cogent, insightful things…..candidates being personally attacked by the msm (including fox) and the intelligencia…the msm in a spin trying to attack all the candidates all the time…..or trying to ignore them….and there are some candidates being hailed as the “stain eradicator”.....

It is a very, very long way to November, 2012. There is no need to rush. In her mind’s eye, Mrs. Palin smiles knowingly and remembers the words of Napolean, “Never interupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” and General Patton, “Our basic plan of operation is to advance and to keep on advancing regardless of whether we have to go over, under, or through the enemy. We are going to go through him like crap through a goose; like shit through a tin horn!”

When she arrives, you can count on total war. She has learned how to fight. She has been through this before….all the way to election day. She does not spin; she does not back away from principles; she means exactly what she says…and says exactly what she means. She builds a base of support because of who and what she is….not because of who or what she panders to.

Patience…..patience….

Wait for it!

And keep the faith….

Amy Siskind wins today’s Pooper Scooper Pundit award.

Now we know where Gingrich’s former PR flak went.

O ye of little faith * 2.

I have never gotten a bum steer from RawStory.

H. Clinton is a peaceful, peace-loving person. You know how I know?

She hasn’t hunted down and brutally beaten all the dipshits who think she and Palin are 100% interchangeable.

Christ. I know she endured a lot of hateful asshatery when Clinton was in office and when she ran. But somehow the Clinton = Palin club (supposedly HRC supporters) strikes me as the very worst.

Mrs. Palin is remaining relatively quiet…..

These people kill me.  With their explicit or implicit combat metaphors, their armchair military “toughness” and “strategic dispassion.”  Their voice-of-history affectations, their hack Military Book Club Member cliches, their pipe-puffing pomposity (It is a very, very long way to November, 2012.), their ready quoting of Patton, Churchill, Sun Tzu, Napoleon, their Rotarian blowhard turns of phrase—

—and all in the service of describing—admiringly—this carnival sideshow of intellectual oddities, frauds, transparent liars, proud ignoramuses, bigots, jerks, and known criminals.  All of this brandy-snifter swirling, Borkum Riff-tamping discoursing about, of all people on earth, the idiot Sarah Palin.

I can’t decide whether it’s hilarious or depressing.  I keep rooting for the former but sometimes succumb to the latter.

There is no need to rush. In her mind’s eye, Mrs. Palin smiles knowingly and remembers the words of the Meow-Mix jingle: “Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.”

Sarah would never have surrendered to Grant. She would have followed the OODA Loop process to discern his weaknesses and dislocate his forces. Also, there would have been ninjas and a tricked-out foreign sports car.

The Palinites strike me as being very similar to the doomsday cultists who predicted the end of the world earlier this year. Nothing can convince them their Eldritch Dork God isn’t perfect, no matter how many times she pulls the rug out from under them.

The main difference being that the doomsday cultists were a lot less likely to start blowing up buildings when they didn’t get Raptured…

I suspect that when the Griftress in Chief finally reveals the Final Uncoming to her perpetually expectant acolytes, she’ll have figured out a great way to explain it away as somebody else’s fault and paint herself as a victim.

At which point she’ll probably proceed to get up to all sorts of mischief from the sidelines, and possibly be more of a nuisance to the GOP than anyone else. Remember her brilliant campaign for the Dems in 2010? She had to be good for a handful of congressional seats.

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