An Open Letter to the Rick Scott Voters Who Finally Figured It Out
Dear Rick Scott Voters Who Finally Figured It Out:
So, I see some of you have changed your minds about your vote in the last Florida gubernatorial election! Rick Scott squeaked into office with 49% of the vote, besting Democratic opponent Alex Sink by barely one percent. However, a recent poll reveals that Scott would lose to Sink by 20 points if the election were held today.
But you know what, Rick Scott Voters Who Finally Figured It Out? The election was NOT held today, you stupid, stupid motherfuckers! It was held in November, and while it’s apparently news to you drooling idiots that Scott is a crook, it was widely known by everyone in the state with an IQ eclipsing that of a Peeps marshmallow treat well in advance of the election.
You brainless ninnies are very lucky internet technology has not advanced to the point that I can reach through the screen and snatch you bald-headed to match the ambulatory dildo you empowered with the governorship. However, these are your current instructions: Make a fist (with either hand). Now, start punching yourself in the face, and don’t stop until January 6, 2015. Fuckers.