Andrew Malcolm, you horribly dumb (and lazy) bastard
Laura Bush’s slothful ex-press secretary, who we recently dubbed one of the worst professional polibloggers, brings the stupid in a big way again today in regards to this picture (and another similar one):
That picture generated two very important questions in Malcolm’s almond-sized brain, both of which, apparently, would have been too difficult for him to answer on his own like, ya know, “journalists” are supposed to do:
First Lady Michelle Obama showed up Thursday as a surprise and welcome volunteer at Miriam’s Kitchen, a soup kitchen for homeless poor people not far from the White House. [...]
The first lady served up mushroom risotto and broccoli to a long line of homeless men and women during part of her lunch hour and in these photos poses for a picture by one homeless diner obviously excited to be in the first lady’s presence. [...]
Both of these news photos were widely distributed across the country and even around the world.
It doesn’t detract from the first lady’s generous gesture or the real needs she seeks to highlight to ask two bothersome journalistic questions about these news photos:
If this unidentified meal recipient is too poor to buy his own food, how does he afford a cellphone?
And if he is homeless, where do they send the cellphone bills?
Andrew, you horribly dumb (and lazy) bastard, please pay very close attention…
- Point your web browser to google.com.
- No, don’t really point, Andrew. Browsers don’t work that way. Type “google.com” into the elongated box at the top of your browser and hit the enter key.
- Now type these two words in that elongated box in the middle of the web page: “cellphones” and “homeless.”
- Click the button “Google Search.”
- Yes, the colors are pretty in Google’s logo, Andrew, but I need you to click that button.
- Yes, it is cute that the other button says “I’m Feeling Lucky,” Andrew, but sweet jesus fucking christ on a cluestick, click the other button.
- Good. See all of those links? There are so many, right? Click on the first one and start reading:
There are days like the one last week when John Marzette is low.
The 41-year-old homeless man is low on job prospects, low on cash and low on minutes for his cell phone.
“You don’t have as much money as you usually would because you have to continuously charge it with prepaid minutes,” Marzette said of the used T-Mobile phone his sister gave him to stay in touch. “It has its ups and downs. But it’s an important thing to have.”
Though it may seem strange to own a cell phone when you don’t have a roof over your head, homeless advocates say the phones are becoming increasingly important to people living on the street.
They offer the best chance homeless people have at getting a call back from a potential employer. They are the most reliable way to stay in touch with family members who don’t live in the area.
Okay, that’s just the beginning of the article. You can finish reading it later. Now let’s click on the third link from the Google search and see what that tells us:
Homeless for more than a year, Rebecca Carrington can go without her own bed, fancy clothes and most material possessions.
But there is one thing she cannot imagine life without—her cell phone.
“It’s everything,” she says, hands stuffed into a hooded black sweatshirt on a chilly day. “How I call my family; how can I try to find an apartment or get a job. I couldn’t survive out here without it.”
Carrington, 26, is hardly the only person on the streets with a cell phone. In fact, a growing number of the city’s homeless will surprise you by whipping Nokias and Motorolas from otherwise empty pockets.
Workers at Fort Worth’s homeless shelters say the number of guests with cell phones is growing rapidly. Some shelters have even reported problems with too many guests seeking outlets to charge their phones.
Now, Andrew, continue to click on those links from the Google search until you experience this weird sensation called “getting it.” It could take you several hours or maybe even days, but don’t give up. I promise you it’ll be worth it.
Posted by Kevin K. on 03/06/09 at 02:49 PM • Permalink
Categories: Images • News • Politics • Election '08 • Barack Obama • Nutters • Poliblogs • Our Stupid Media • Skull Hampers •
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