Another one rides the bus


So you thought Herman Cain would go away after his humiliating retreat from the GOP presidential field due to multiple accusations of sexual harassment and the revelation that he was financially supporting a woman who claimed to be his long-term side salad? Haha—of course not!

He’s back with a bus tour, a brand-new website and a new slogan: “Cain’s Solutions Revolution.” I guess “bus tours” are the new “rehab”—a transitional activity between career phases for has-been politicians.

The point of the tour, according to the overview Cain provides on his site, is to spearhead a Grover Norquist-like quest to strong-arm politicians into signing pledges to enact the 9-9-9 plan and the other laughably unworkable and simplistic “solutions” to complex problems that Cain touted during his brief moment in the sun.

That’s what he says. I suspect the whole thing is a ruse to escape the baleful gaze of Mrs. Cain.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 01/05/12 at 06:47 AM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

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Yikes! And Michele “Crazy Eyes” Bachmann also said a la the Cainster that she is merely “suspending” her campaign but will continue to spread the Good Message of Wingnuttery.  So, just as Grifter Palin got a bus to peddle her CD and book till it hit the remainders bin so too Mr. “9-9-9” has got hisself a bus to do the same thing.  I figure in about a week’s time we’ll see a Bachmann “Conspiracy” bus rolling down the highway.  In her case, at least, she needs a Greyhound-sized bus just to hold all her kids.  And The Newt needs a whole bus just to encompass his ego. Time to invest in busses for sure.

Like I said, none of these folks will ever actually stop running. I’m curious to see if they form like governments-in-exile propped up by PUMA equivalents.

For the 4.5 people left in the country who care, Herman Cain’s new site has already issued, with regret, the thunderous news that the Gotcha Media tried to drag him down again, just this very morning! Herman knows how many military personnel we have, don’t try to confuse him, you Gotcha Media!

The RV tour sounds like an excellent hobby for the new retiree, as long as he doesn’t get bogged down somewhere between Al-teena-tina-toona and Ko-ko-lo-ko-mo-mo-mo.

I must be getting saner in my old age. I can’t spot any clues on the side of that bus that indicate when Herb Cain is going to jump back in to the race. Wait, wait! is that an Olympic torch? The opening date of the Olympics in London this year is July 27th. And ... oh my. If you subtract one each from the Roman numerals XXX (this is the 30th Olympics) you get ... wow. I didn’t realize this was so easy.

Fuck Herman Cain and the Solutions Revolution.  Now, Lance Link and the Evolution Revolution, that’s another nother.  But the ‘Evolution’ thing would be a deal-killer for a Republican.

I’m trying to figure out what (presumably electoral law/tax-related) reasons led them to go with a new site, rather than activating The Cain Solutions as promised when he suspended his campaign

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