Another Stupid Week in Birtherism—the Arpaio Saga Endures
In the exciting field of birtherology, yesterday one of the premier researchers in the field, Maricopa County Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio, stood next to a very large representation of the president’s birth certificate, which you can tell by his face he does not like very much.
“Look here, folks,” he seems to be saying, yet oddly, did not say, “This here poster-board mock-up of a birth certificate is clearly larger than any actual birth certificate, so you can smell what time it is when the president is LOOK! THINGS THAT ARE NOT ME NOT DOING MY JOB!!!!!”
I’m being whimsical, naturally. What he did bring to light was that a person of his acquaintance who has a book for sale on the subject spoke to a 95-year-old Hawaii state worker (retired) who signed the birth certificate—if it is a birth certificate, HA!—but says the numbers might be hinky. Like so—
Nope. You just work that one out for yourselves. With a little patience, you’ll see where that one went wrong before Arpaio does—on the off-chance he isn’t just scamming for attention. (As if! Like sheriffs everywhere don’t dress prisoners in pink panties or play Christmas carols endlessly as psy-ops. What attention-seeking behaviors, where?)
However, with yet another underwhelming presentation, the media’s patience appeared to be wearing thin with the birther investigation. Thankfully, Arpaio said he and his birther posse have done all they can. Now, he’s calling for Congress to take up the investigation, commending his posse for undertaking a two-man investigation that would have taken “100 federal agents” to do.
Because if the “fast and furious” business wasn’t nowhere enough, let’s totally have congress debate whether we can has taksies-backsies on the last 3.5 years President Obama has been in office because some Tea Party congresscritters might think “kerning” is the new “reading entrails”. They will know better how to deal with tricky nonagenarian retired state workers, of that you can be certain.
No word yet on whether any birther has successfully investigated the missing plane ticket.