Aqualunge, My Friends, Made Him Start Away Uneasy…

I just am not up to putting together a critique of Obama’s pretty darn good SOTU speech, which addressed climate change, gun control, and raising the minimum wage—all things quite timely and appropriate; nor am I concerned with poor Senator Marco Rubio’s long day, which started with voting against VAWA and ended with a speech where he complained that the President (who mentioned lowering the deficit, like a million times) was trying to create bigger government and boo-hoo’d over the notion that any Democratic president might ascribe motives to the GOP based on the logical outcomes of their policies as opposed to assuming in good faith that they believed their talking points. I just want to focus on what everyone will focus on, and are already all about on the Twitter engines:the Big Sip.

It’s a thing of so much awkwardness, and the water bottle is so tiny. He moves in for it like maybe, if he moves fast enough, we won’t even notice he had a case of cottonmouth and naturally, took a drink during a speech (LIKE PEOPLE DO!). (JUST NOT SO AWKWARDLY!)

Anyone want to share their impressions? Open thread.

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 02/12/13 at 11:32 PM • Permalink

Categories: I Don't Know Much About Art, But I Know What I LikeMessylaneousPoliticsBarack ObamaElection '16Polisnark

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Thanks, Vixen. You have saved Rumproast—nay, the world—from a post headlined “Water Rebuttal!

The GOP: too cheap to splash out on a glass.

Seriously (!), he’d probably have gotten away with it if he’d broken eye contact while he got the deed done. Otherwise, rabbit, meet headlights.

Of course, we’re horrible, shallow meanies for making fun of it if you read the RW blogs. Not a teleprompter joke in sight.

Furtive.  That’s the word for it.  Furtive, and awkwardly so.

Yeh,that’s really going to enhance his presidential prospects, all right.

Boy done Jindalled himself.

Boy done Jindalled himself.

@janicket Priceless comment, you fit right in here!

I thought it was a Jindal-class disaster. Not just the Watergate aspect, but the content. I know the GOP is fond of strawmen, but Jeebus. I was wondering if the Obama peeps supplied the wrong speech draft to rebut.

To everyone’s surprise, the thesis of Marco Rubio’s
GOP Response to President Obama’s SOTU was “Make your body happy. Drink more water.”

Watergate aside, the speech was simply terrible. It wasn’t a counterpoint to anything Obama said, just a trite, by-the-numbers list of the same old GOP talking points. Jennifer Rubin loved it, though.

Jennifer Rubin loved it, though.

LOL.  Tom, a five-spot says she’ll be denying that she said it, comes the cock a-crowin’.

Apparently I’m the only person on the Internet who doesn’t understand why taking a sip of water is funny. All I know is that one of the most popular articles on the Atlantic is a bunch of animated .GIFs, and I really didn’t think that publication could sink any deeper into trivia than when they hosted McArdle’s cooking videos. Go figure.

I must admit to getting some schadenfreude-y enjoyment from the commenters on Althouse’s blog whom I think are among the nastiest anywhere, and who would enjoy Watergate tremendously if it happened to the other team but are now ruffling their feathers and squawking like Eulalie Mackechnie Shinn. 

My favorite is this comment:

It’s sad that infinitely more energy and attention is paid to nuances of how he drinks some fucking water than the substance of his speech.

... posted by someone who calls himself Professor Mom-Jeans.

Just to get this out of my system—the reason he doesn’t break eye-contact while diving for the water is most likely because he doesn’t want to lose his place on the Teleprompter. So there’s a reason for it. But. You know. Teleprompter.  I know it’s shallow. And it is the funniest thing. That he was rebutting a speech Obama didn’t give while using talking points from the Romney (losing) campaign is arguably funnier, albeit in a bittersweet, “There they go again” fashion.

As others have observed, the whole setup of the SOTU response—especially the way the Republicans have framed it the last few times—is inevitably bathetic.

To cut abruptly from the pomp and clamorous hubbub and applause and glamorous surroundings of the SOTU to a lone figure in an apparently deserted room and not have the effect of bathos would demand that that figure not just command the space, but project that through the screen, so it’s a severe test of charisma. Rubio came across as wooden, hammy, and horribly overrehearsed, which didn’t help when he was trying to appear to emote. And that’s before even considering what he was actually saying, which has garnered a lot less attention but hasn’t gone much better for him when it’s been the focus.

Then there’s the room itself. The opulence of the surroundings may be intended to lend gravitas (along with the overdressing with flags etc.), but a grand stateroom doesn’t exactly project Joe Everyguy. So the messaging is already hopelessly mixed.

Add to that a cheap unintended prop like a plastic bottle of water located out of comfortable reach and the inartful duck for it and it jars even more, and underlines the amateurish fraudulent pretentiousness of the whole shebang.

In the end, you either find the whole thing funny, or you don’t. It’s like trying to explain a joke.

What may be amusing is to see whether the Republicans revise their approach for future SOTU responses. It’d be surprising if they don’t already have professional input in its staging. Maybe they’ll go over the top in trying to overcome the previous shortcomings.

I was too busy drinking beer and listening to a lecture on the microbes which happily live in our guts to watch either SOTU or either rebuttal.

Love the “aqualunge” bit- high five!

Seriously (!), he’d probably have gotten away with it if he’d broken eye contact while he got the deed done. Otherwise, rabbit, meet headlights.

I blame those meddlin’ kids!

You know, the whole ‘waterbottlegate’ thing is a bit silly, but I don’t care - call me shallow.

However, the MSM is even more shallow, and once they get a meme in their teeth, they stick with it, so if this sinks the latest offering from the “look, we loves us some ethnics, see? we gots one right here!” wing of the rethuglicans, then I’m all for it.

I’ve decided that adults look ridiculous drinking from bottles.  I’ll be shopping for one of those little telescoping glasses.

Also too, if repubs aren’t going to respond to the speech which was given, they should call it something else; maybe I Know UR But What Am I?

What, too long?

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