Are Republicans Now Writing “President Gingrich” on Their Doodle Pads?

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Because this bloated, corrupt old wind bag, on his third wife, a Stepford card carrying member of the Cream Cheese People*, with his $300k Tiffany’s bill and lobbying fortune who was drummed out of his Speaker position on ethics charges, has suddenly become the new “Not Willard”.

Now, full disclosure here, a part of me would looooooove to see Gingrich actually get the nomination.  I mean Willard’s got some baggage to play around with but the Newtster?  He’s the Samsonite king.  And I guess the only part of me that wouldn’t like to see it is the part that still believes that 50% of our country has not gone seriously insane enough to believe this has-been loon could really be a viable candidate for president.

That said, keep up the good work Republicans!  You’ll keep David Frum very busy.

And assuming Newt’s surge is brief, which is probably a good assumption, who will be the object of their next crush?  Will Jon Huntsman finally catch on and start polling above the margin of error?  Or will the Pauliacs finally convince people that a Mars based gold standard really is the way to go?

Stay tooned!  (As if we had any choice.)

*Cream Cheese People via Betty Cracker

Posted by marindenver on 11/21/11 at 08:08 PM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBedwettersElection '12MittensNuttersTeabaggery

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AIIIEEEE!! Make the scary melanin-free lady go ‘way!

Her eyes are about as crazy as Bachmann’s. Maybe even crazier in this pic.

Ya know the cream cheese people has got to be the best thing that anyone has ever come up with, ever.  I mean if you look at the pre-Newt Callista, she is a normal looking person. Post Newt lady is full on Stepford Wife… How the hell does one do that?

I’m actually starting to feel sorry for Mitt.

SHE SWALLOWED MY SOUL!!!!

She’s spotted a tasty toddler in the audience and is about to unhinge her jaw and swallow it whole.

Does the face in that picture even move?

(by “the face” I meant that of the cream cheese person, not that of the fat disgusting toad currently favored by the GOP electorate)

Post Newt lady is full on Stepford Wife… How the hell does one do that?

Imagine the horrors you’d encounter as Newt’s wife. She’s done well to end up looking as human as she does.

Imagine the horrors you’d encounter as Newt’s wife.

She’s well-compensated and knew the risks going into it.  I do wonder if he promised her a throw-down in the Lincoln Bedroom, though.

She’s well-compensated and knew the risks going into it.

I don’t doubt the well-compensated part, but it’s possible that rabbit hole went way further down than she thought. For some reason the Rude Pundit’s posts about Karl Rove’s leather slave come to mind.

I went looking for one of those older pictures of Callista (before she inserted her entire head into a flatiron), but I could only find this.

Comment by Comrade Mary on 11/21/11 at 11:11 PM

Comment by Comrade Mary on 11/21/11 at 11:11 PM

There’s a hell just for people like you.  :)

And, Xecky, you may be right but fame makes folks do things they normally wouldn’t (not that I know from first-hand experience).

Holy shit. She looks like one of those creepy people on the Black Hole Sun video post-terrible special effects that make them look demented.

A fine little girl she waits for me
She’s as plastic as she can be
She paints her face with plastic goo
And wrecks her hair with some shampoo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoOwQd-1Hrg

Comment by Mr. Whipple on 11/22/11 at 12:08 AM

The beautiful thing with Newt is that you don’t even have to dig too deep into baggage claim to pull out real prizes: he creates fresh WTF? on the daily. Who’s brave enough to talk about firing janitors and giving their jobs to 5th graders?  Huh!  And what about that “dirty hippy” OWS “get a job after you’ve taken a bath” business? (http://vixenstrangelymakesuncommonsense.blogspot.com/2 011/11/just-another-whack-at-why-gingrich.html) Pure wingnut gold, Newtie!

(I just linked to me linking to Rumproast referring to another comment of mine—I’m trying to blow up the Internet.)

It’s right up there with the “lasers” to deal with North Korea. He’s not running for President. He’s running for Bond villain.

I read somewhere today that Newt is what dumb people think smart people sound like.

Paraphrasing Betty again but Newtster manages to limbo under the lowest bar you can set up for him.

Barbie’s evil stepmom?

You would look that way too if you lived in a plastic house and drove a plastic Jeep and had a plastic boyfriend with no genitals for 50 years.

I mean Willard’s got some baggage to play around with but the Newtster?  He’s the Samsonite king.

fabulous, just had to see it again.

While Barbie/Calista reminds me of a past her prime Svedka Vodka robot, serial adulterer Newt reminds me of an oleaginous, less charming, not quite as smooth or well turned out Jabba the Hut.

That was cruel, Comrade Mary, as well as creepy.

But I remember seeing photos of Callista (ne Bisek) in earlier years, when she looked more ...human.

I found a few photos, and just for fun, I tried guessing at the order the photos were taken, marking her transformation.

My guess: earliest, later, then later, and after that.

Whaddayathink?

Comment by meepmeep09 on 11/22/11 at 05:21 AM

Oh, and lest we forget the “quality” of person that Newt is, here’s a short reminder:

Gingrich Friend Dates Affair To ‘93

November 11, 1999 | From Tribune News Services.

ATLANTA, GEORGIA — The congressional aide linked romantically to former House Speaker Newt Gingrich has admitted that their affair began six years ago, while he was still married, Gingrich’s lawyer says.

Attorney Randy Evans said that Callista Bisek, 33, made the admission under oath during a deposition Tuesday.

Bisek told Gingrich’s lawyers the relationship began in November 1993, a year before Gingrich became House speaker, Evans said.

Gingrich, 56, has asserted he and his wife, Marianne, were legally separated at the time, but Evans conceded that the relationship continued even after the Gingriches were reconciled and Gingrich assumed the speakership in 1995.

That’s by no means the most disgusting or illuminating example, but is a lesser known factoid that deserves wider distribution

I’m particularly intrigued whenever he is embraced by self-described “family values” types, especially those who castigate truly decent self-described people of faith like Jimmy Carter.

Comment by meepmeep09 on 11/22/11 at 05:36 AM

He’s not running for President. He’s running for Bond villain.

Now that would look dandy on a yard sign.

To be fair on Callista, that plexiglas rigor probably results from years of going “Uh-huh, dear, that’s right,” while mentally calculating by how many years she’s likely to survive him.

meepmeep09, those are the pictures I was looking for. She is a naturally attractive woman and the bleaching and flattening of her looks and vitality saddens me. Age can flip us out, I know. I’m 5 years older than her and no glamourpuss, and I still spend some time looking in the mirror to document what the decades have done to my facial infrastructure. But turning into a pressed picture of yourself is just sad.

Newt is what dumb people think smart people sound like.

I believe it was the good Dr. Krugman who first made that statement.

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