Are You Smarter than a Red Stater? (UPDATED X3)

...or at least better at coming up with amusing speech balloons?

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Here’s mine. I made sure not to make it too funny or clever so as not to overshadow potential commenter submissions, but man, the one I was gonna go with? Hilarious, I’m still chuckling just thinking about it. You people are lucky I’m so keen on letting you shine.

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Template below the fold.

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Entries will be graded on originality, creativity, humorousness, and punctuation. In the event of a tie, winner will be decided by wet T-shirt contest, which is why I asked you all to send me wet T-shirts last week. Good job on that, by the way—the vast majority were sopping.

UPDATE, midnightish:

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Xecky Gilchrist

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Big Bad Bald Bastard

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YAFB

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 02/24/12 at 08:03 PM • Permalink

Categories: I Don't Know Much About Art, But I Know What I Like

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“I love classic sci-fi illustrations! Especially when they show wholesome families of astronauts all wearing their space helmets.”

...but yeah. Contards and their strawmans. Since liberals acknowledge there’s such a thing as an unwanted pregnancy and want to avoid them, liberals must want to avoid ALL pregnancies. “Birth control Mom? WTF?!?!?”

Since liberals acknowledge there’s such a thing as an unwanted pregnancy and want to avoid them, liberals must want to avoid ALL pregnancies.

Much of that RedState thread is taken up with a heated discussion as the regulars swarm an infidel noob who makes much the same point!

Anyway, everybody knows liberals love to run around getting pregnant just so they can have abortions because it’s so much fun.

My captions?

“I don’t get it.”

“Oh, of course, it’s a conservative cartoon. They’re not meant to be funny.”

Much of that RedState thread is taken up with a heated discussion as the regulars swarm an infidel noob who makes much the same point!

Ha! (wasn’t me, I promise.)

This kind of misrepresentation is a cornerstone of wingnuttery, as much as the swarming and beating up the heretics. A while back there was some superb sneering from - I think - Dan Riehl about how even organic cage-free locally-grown yada yada needs to be transported by truck, so liberals are total hypocrites for not wanting any oil to be used for any purpose ever.

“Looks like that kid is destined for big things.”

“I’ll bet a bunch of assholes are going to demand to see his birth certificate!”

I can’t think of anything funny because my bowel or intestines or something (I was never good at biology) hurt.

Mary got punished by only being mentioned about three times in the bible.  Nice treatment of the mother jesus.

Obviously the men who wrote it thought she was a slut and baby factory.

Hmmm, why are the wise men two feet tall and why are there four of them?

Oh Nos!  Pink Power Ranger dude is about to kidnap the baby Jesus!

http://www.thehud.com/blog

Eh, whoever this guy is, he’s no James Hudnall.

Comment by Dan Coyle on 02/25/12 at 01:07 AM

“Poor woman.”
“If she didn’t have 15 kids, she needn’t give birth next to a mountain of manure.”

“Oh, Jesus.”

“Now we’re fucked.”

“Hmmm.  What ... am I ... looking at ... hmmm.”

“Oh, shit!  That must be the Nativity re-imagined as pasty-white muthafuckas”

So that’s where Santorum got his idea for the joy-luck-rape-baby

If only there existed an intrepid fact-checker-truth-teller-kerner-a-go-go dude to help us out on the TRUE meaning of the spaceman orgy and diaper-change party happening in that picture.

Too bad it’s not conservative guy looing on because then my bubbles would be, “Yeah, let the kid be born in poverty now…”  “So we can put him to death later.”

If the conservaloons are so convinced that libs want everyone to have abortions, want’em or not, they should just let events take their course - we’ll all die out and they will be the only ones left!  Yay!  Of course that would require the ability to think logically so I’m not expecting this to occur to any of them. ;-)

Captions:

“What, only one baby?” 

“Apparently the conservawingnut plan to outpropagate us libs is off to a rather slow start.”

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