Twenty heavily-armed lunatics showing up to take over a courthouse and small town is a little bit scary. I’m glad the feds were able to shut the psychos down—but it gives me the queasies thinking about what would’ve happened if they’d been a bit less moronic.

I agree that a not-insignificant number of Americans have been pushed to the brink of dangerous lunacy by Talk Radio, Wingnut conspiracy forums and Red Bull.

What keeps me sane is the hope that only a vanishingly small percentage of them are both dumb enough to conceive such an idiotic scenario AND smart enough to pull it off.

They’re lucky they are white Christian lunatics instead of Muslims or Mexicans, in which case they would have either died in a hail of gunfire or been tasered to death.

On a lighter note, let’s give this article’s writer a big FTW! for coining the marvelously wonky verbal gene-splice, “Armed to the gills.”

Also extra credit for the snarky, “Obama? He’s still the unindicted leader of the free world.”

The jury pool in Sweetwater might be a little tainted by virtue of the town being confined to quarters while these goofs prowled with their guns out. The trial should be moved.

Like, say, to Brooklyn.

Tampa 2012!  Watch it!  That’s all I’m saying.  You don’t harness the evil crazy without paying in the end.

What keeps me sane is the hope that only a vanishingly small percentage of them are both dumb enough to conceive such an idiotic scenario AND smart enough to pull it off.

What scares me is that it only takes one to get it right.

The usual locution is “armed to the teeth”, which recalls the days of pirates climbing aboard a vessel with a knife in their mouths, blade-side facing outward, of course.

The only way someone could be armed to the gills would be if they were a shark with a frickin’ laser beam on their head, or if they were armed since they grew and later lost their gills in utero.

The seeds of treason, so neatly planted by Orly Taitz and watered with the tears of Glenn Beck, are bursting into flower across America.

@ the Dark Avenger: the corollary, “stewed to the teeth,” refers to the rictus induced by accidentally sucking the worm out of your bottle of Mezcal.

“stewed to the teeth,”

Precisely. What I think the writer was aiming for was a composite image that would suggest the notion of “drunk with weaponry.” And, obviously, “three sheets to the chain-gun” just didn’t ring right.

Yes, as I said to my husband this morning, “Armed to the teeth” (if he has any). BTW, I live close to Sweetwater.

Yes, as I said to my husband this morning, “Armed to the teeth” (if he has any).

In their case , “Armed to the tooth” might be more apropos.

“Armed to the tooth”

Yinz guys are killin’ me.

Now hold on just a GD minute!

Are you guys snarking on another story about a RWNJ?

Weren’t you listening to me?

I patiently tried to explain to you stupid assholes that the rules of snark require that you wait until all facts are known and suspected criminals are convicted BEFORE it’s OK to make fun of them!

For all you know, this guy may have innocently and naively failed to understand the implications of his statements and actions, and now you’ve gone and made fools of yourselves and Rumproast has lost all of its journalistic credibility as a neutral finder of fact!!1!

And I’m telling you this because I love you guys and think you’re better than this.

/G

The seeds of treason, so neatly planted by Orly Taitz and watered with the tears of Glenn Beck, are bursting into flower across America.

Awesome.  My award for quote of the day!

What keeps me sane is the hope that only a vanishingly small percentage of them are both dumb enough to conceive such an idiotic scenario AND smart enough to pull it off.

Very well said and totally true. Very wise words, wrapped in a sweet package of snark, so kudos!

Your statement holds up for all the fundamentalist lunatics out there of any time, from Al-Qaeda to the homegrown inbreeds.

Thanks G.

I prefer being able to mock you to not having you around.

Feel free to do likewise.

Peace and hair grease!

Now hold on just a GD minute!

Are you guys snarking on another story about a RWNJ?

Weren’t you listening to me?

I patiently tried to explain to you stupid assholes that the rules of snark require that you wait until all facts are known and suspected criminals are convicted BEFORE it’s OK to make fun of them!

For all you know, this guy may have innocently and naively failed to understand the implications of his statements and actions, and now you’ve gone and made fools of yourselves and Rumproast has lost all of its journalistic credibility as a neutral finder of fact!!1!

And I’m telling you this because I love you guys and think you’re better than this.

/G

Blow me Allan.

If you can’t see the difference between making fun of actual lunatics and their kooky notions and going apeshit over fake tweets and then getting spanked for being duped, well then you are a dupe.

Methinks you just keep having this tantrum because you were fool enough to buy into the whole tweet conspiracy bullshit yesterday and don’t like it that someone pointed out that you’re a reactionary sucker and you’ve been had. You can dish it, but you can’t seem to take it.

Thanks G.

I prefer being able to mock you to not having you around.

Feel free to do likewise.

Peace and hair grease!

Allan, likewise.  Trust me dude, I think you are pretty funny and I enjoy your posts.

I don’t mind being mocked at all.  I just don’t like that you either don’t get what I was actually ripping on or that you are taking it too personally.  So rip on me in context and its all good and I’ll laugh with you. 

Go all bananas when you’re argument is apples to oranges on what I’ve tried to explain to you and I’ll just slam back at ya.  No offense.

When are “birthers” going to figure out that President Obama purposely did not show his birth certificate to give you a reason to make fools of yourselves.  You lost every court case, what more do you want.

Blow me Allan.

Having established that there is something terribly wrong with you, I will now back slowly toward the exit while making sure my body language is non-threatening.

Seek help.

Allan - I’ve re-read my posts and I see know that I came across as a sanctimonious prick and I take responsibility and I’m sorry.

I see what you were reacting to now. Before that, I just thought you were being a sanctimonious prick yourself, so if I jumped your shit for just reacting to me the way I came across to you, I’m sorry.

Had I used any fucking sense, I might have paid more attention to what I actually typed and realized how it came across. I didn’t do that until just now and I see what you saw and I’m disappointed in myself for coming across that way and then jumping your shit.

I fucked up and earned my asshole points for the day and didn’t mean to take it out on you, nor to sour the mood of this blog, which I did.

So apologies all, and I’ll try not to come across as such a dickhead in the future, ok?

I’ll go back to being Mostly Harmless now. ;)

Back to the post topic, Patrick at Bad Fiction had a great rundown of the past crazy hijinks of Walter Fitzpatrick, the crazy old coot militia leader that this gun toting dimwit was “on a mission” to support.

Scroll about half-way down to his June 4th report on Kitsap Sun article to find all about his past Port of Tracyton hijinks: