Be the Ball, Danny: Palin’s Coded “Sports” Post Contains Encrypted Porn-Whistle

Fresh from her triumphant tongue-speaking turn at the Searchlight podium, Sarahcuda took a moment to needle the “overreacting” Librul Media with a new Facebook post that intentionally highlights a Greatest Hits collection of Quitter Queen “trigger words,” all of which are ironically embedded in an innocuous, blandly prosaic mashup of deleted pep-talk dialogue from Hoosiers.

However, the crafty cryptographers at StrangeLabs have discovered a second subliminal cypher in her text—the only purpose of which could be to excite the bodice-ripping, Mandingo-fueled amygdylas of her clench-assed “More-Moral-Than-Thou” base.

Shame on you, Sarah! Shame, and rumors of shame. (ITALICS are Sarah’s. BOLDFACE is mine.)

To the teams that desire making it this far next year: Gear up! In the battle, set your sights on next season’s targets! From the shot across the bow – the first second’s tip-off – your leaders will be in the enemy’s crosshairs, so you must execute strong defensive tactics. You won’t win only playing defense, so get on offense! The crossfire is intense, so penetrate through enemy territory by bombing through the press, and use your strong weapons – your Big Guns – to drive to the hole. Shoot with accuracy; aim high and remember it takes blood, sweat and tears to win.

Focus on the goal and fight for it. If the gate is closed, go over the fence. If the fence is too high, pole vault in. If that doesn’t work, parachute in. If the other side tries to push back, your attitude should be “go for it.” Get in their faces and argue with them. (Sound familiar?!) Every possession is a battle; you’ll only win the war if you’ve picked your battles wisely. No matter how tough it gets, never retreat, instead RELOAD!

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 03/28/10 at 06:46 PM • Permalink

Categories: Politics • Nutters • Sarah Palin • Teabaggery • Polisnark •

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You’re walking down a hallway, you turn left - brick wall! - you turn right - another brick wall! - fizzy! owls! Drano! staggering nations of nylon increditudes! mystic plankton!

Comment by Ripley on 03/28/10 at 08:00 PM

Not that Sarah is suggesting anything. And she is frankly offended that you think she is. Honest! Would she lie?

Comment by John Ball on 03/28/10 at 08:08 PM

Sarah’s having too much fun—which is usually where things start to go real wrong, real fast. Just like my weekend posting.

Comment by StrangeAppar8us on 03/28/10 at 08:15 PM

Thelma Gantry’s been a naughty, naughty ex-half-governor! Or is it half-ex-governor? But beneath that too-tight biker jacket beats the heart of a true-blue McCarthyite.

Who knows how to blend a killer frozen metaphor slushie.

Comment by Mrs. Polly on 03/28/10 at 10:47 PM

It’s a real shame you can only “friend” someone on Facebook, not “laughing stock” or “walking human farce” them. I would never “like” or “friend” it, but Palin’s channel to the red state lizard brain is compelling.