Beck: Do You Know What It’s Like to Fall in the Mud and Get Kicked, in the Head, with an Iron Boot?

“Of course you don’t, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that’s a dumb question…skip that.”

Glenn Beck closed his final radio hour today with a lot of talk about getting “kicked in the head” by Soros/ACORN/HAARP Project/Underpants Gnomes or whatever it is he was going on about. But mostly, he was touting the effectiveness of his research staff in exposing the global conspiracy of blanket-sitting Online Poets and Twitter-Haters who crashed through his phalanx of ex-Secret Service bodyguards and exploded their wine-filled bomb belts all over his family. 

Note to Lindsey Piscitell: However this came down, there is nothing on earth more vindictive than a wealthy, paranoid drunk with a radio show. Keep deleting. You’re the new Van Jones.

[UPDATE:] My bad — it’s GOD who’s kicking Glenn in the head. I guess Lex Luthor was busy today.

[UPDATE:] Waiting for announcement that Beck has carved a backward “B” on his face.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/29/11 at 11:21 AM • Permalink

Categories: NewsPoliticsOur Stupid Media

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Of course you don’t, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that’s a dumb question…skip that

Heh! Just watched that movie the other night. Still brings the lulz all these years later.

The gentle, Christian, wounded lambs at the Blaze are doing the sort of “sleuthing” some of us Rumproasters are all too familiar with, including threats:

DLG123
Posted on June 29, 2011 at 12:02pm
I.Gaspar…
We do have a form of lib spray to keep them away… Its called a 30 round clip from a semi automatic carbine

It seems one can’t link to specific comments there, but I’ve a lovely screencap to Blingee now.

Having built up the We Were Nearly Lynched! angle, Beck isn’t getting 100% support even from his own followers:

ZORRO6821
Posted on June 29, 2011 at 12:25pm
This woman is a nutbag!!! All the more reason Glen should have not let his family attend such an event. She spilled wine, but it could have been worse. Glen, I still blame you for putting your family in harms way. I just don’t understand what Glen was thinking ? I am truly puzzled and disappointed by Glen irresponsible action. You can’t control the crowds but you can control your actions and simply not go.

MANDORS
Posted on June 29, 2011 at 12:17pm
Wait a minute. Did Glenn really have bodies guards with him? If so, those tears on yesterday’s show seem a little less justified. If not, then sure I can see it.

So which is it, Glenn: are you an out-to-lunch, irresponsible asshat, or an out-to-lunch, gelatinous glob of self-pitying melodrama?

I am truly puzzled and disappointed by Glen irresponsible action.

Which one — taking his family out in public or inciting violent revolt on the airwaves and Internet 24/7?

More Beck-Thug Love:

RepubliCorp
Posted on June 29, 2011 at 12:54pm

This lib should know complete accidents happen all the time

It is like the accident knew your name and address.

And more:

clingingredneck
Posted on June 29, 2011 at 12:58pm

I believe the anti-thug spray is called a 38.

Oh… to soon? NOT! Keep calling them out and shining the light on the truth. That is repellant enough.

I can’t wait for Beck to show up in Poland and tearfully compare his personal BlanketNacht to the Holocaust.

Beck is hoping for the World to End. He thinks he killed his Mom. He knows he destroyed a lot of lives when he was a drunk. And he knows he can never be forgiven for any of it.

Plan B: Help destroy everything, step in, start over, and be a Hero because you’re the only guy with gold coins, perpetual lunchmeat and a copy of the Constitution.

There’s a Glenn Beck at every AA meeting in America — the guy who knows his only hope of redemption is if everyone else winds up in a Hell worse than the one he created for himself.

There’s a Glenn Beck at every AA meeting in America — the guy who knows his only hope of redemption is if everyone else winds up in a Hell worse than the one he created for himself.

And he’s usually a sponsor.  This is one of the Twelve Step programs’ unfortunate design flaws.

And he’s usually a sponsor.

FOB, I see. ;->

Not really.  FOFOB.  And what always came through to me from their stories is that throwing a bunch of users together with a rather nebulous plan to serve as their guidelines generally works about as well as you’d think…

Understood. Personally, I never made it past the First Step, and decided I was better off being a harmless, high-functioning jet-propelled typist than joining a bizarre, self-defeating cult.

Detox, on the other hand, is a swell program. All the pudding and cold cuts you can eat, plus smoke breaks — but twice a day you have to watch a government movie and pass around pictures of shrivelled brains.

and pass around pictures of shrivelled brains.

Hence your fascination with PUMAs.

I made it one month, the “Higher Power” shit was too much. I was the only one in outpatient rehab voluntarily, and I bet I’m the only one still sober 19 years later. I did it on my own without too much hassle, and it’s why asshats like Beck and Bush piss me off to no end. They’re both dry drunks who will never understand what it means to be truly sober.

@Knitting Bull — Kudos for beating it on your own. That’s a hard road.

I knew it was a waste of time when everyone applauded me for being an alcoholic. Had I confessed to being a cannibal, I’d have probably received a standing O.

I stuck around a bit for the highly-entertaining “Can You Top This?” drunk-story wars and the chance to observe the dating rituals of dopamine-starved people whose “higher” power had shifted decidely southward.

Then, at some point, I realized I didn’t have a drinking problem. I had a dating-a-married-woman problem. Once I rectified that, everything else fell into line.

thanks, Strange-I found after I went through rehab that dumping my loser job, getting off my ass to get a better one and getting off the fucking “pity pot” (as my late, VERY alcoholic mother called it-she had five years of sobriety on me when she passed) made a lot of difference.

The meetings were good in that I realized I didn’t belong there. The evangelical crowd is pretty big in Anchorage, and there’s a LOT of them at AA. Nice folks, but they get really creepy when that “come to Jeezus and be SAVED!” takes over the meetings. God and I have an agreement: I try to not take His/Her/Its Name In Vain too often, and He/She/It doesn’t strike me with lightening. So far, it’s a pretty good system. The Evvies, not so much.

I actually think giving up smoking was more difficult. My rehab counselor’s boss thought I should try giving up booze and cigarettes at the same time. I looked at him and asked, “and just how many corpses are you prepared to take?”. He dropped the suggestion. Idjit. Named after a character in the Bible, go figure.

Salut!

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