Beck Staffs Truth-Seeking News Portal with Aspiring Wingnut Hacks

Because there’s just not enough Truth in the Public Discourse, Glenn Beck has launched his own high-minded, self-policing, politics-neutral beacon of journalistic integrity, The Blaze:

The image of flame is a powerful [No noun in original text, Ed.]. It has long stood for a burning truth. A truth that is not consumed. The Blaze will pursue truth. Of course we will make mistakes. Honest mistakes. And we’ll be quick with corrections. We intend to earn your trust and keep it day in and day out with hard work and a lot of transparency.

Needless to say, the Truth is in no danger of being “consumed” or even casually bumped by a passer-by on Beck’s clunky, eye-hating billboard for Goldline and Tea-Party-Hijacker Dick Armey. Nor is it likely to be invited to a Midtown lunch-meet by Beck’s All-Star Editorial Farm Team of would-be Conservative media party-crashers who never got let past the Velvet Rope:

Scott Baker, Managing Editor:  Former Breitbart VP of Business Development and co-founder of Breitbart.tv. Also, an erstwhile Pittsburgh news anchor who self-produces a Conservative vanity video project called The B-Cast...which aptly describes both the program and the talent.

Pam Key, Associate Editor/Video Producer:  Former video contributor to the proudly racist, pathologically Obama-hating Naked Emperor News.

Jonathon M. Seidl, Assistant Editor:  Occasional writer/contributor for relentless truth-pumps WORLD Magazine and The American Spectator.

Meredith Jessup, Assistant Editor:  Former associate editor for the eminently non-agendized Townhall.com and contributing editor for Townhall Magazine.

No doubt, The Blaze will fill America’s aching void of Must-Read, Small-Bore, Lib-Loathing Flackery in the Age of Restoring Honor.

SEMI-RELATED BONUS: Chris Hitchens calls Beck’s 8/28 rally “the Waterworld of white self-pity.”

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/31/10 at 10:15 AM • Permalink

Categories: NewsPoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryOur Stupid MediaPoliblogsPolisnark

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Y’know, I was just thinking the other day that the Internet really needed another right-wing opinion clearinghouse. All they’ve got now is Townhall, WorldNetDaily, The Corner, Hot Air, PJTV, Big Hollywood, Big Government, Big Journalism, Big Peace, American Spectator, Renew America and the Daily Caller. Why, I bet there are dozens of wingers without meaningless sinecures!

Of course we will make mistakes. Honest mistakes. And we’ll be quick with corrections.

For instance, if an article about Obama neglects to compare him to Hitler, Stalin and Mao they’ll be sure to fix that right away.

Or maybe they mean they’ll fix the HONEST mistakes and let the dishonest ones stand.

Beck is such a lying, hate-sowing POS that Jesus is truly going to enjoy peeling off his flesh and pouring Jerk Spice over him for all Eternity.

Unless, of course, Jesus decides it’s better to lock him in an inescapable airless room with all the people whose lives he ruined when he was a drunk, and every Goldline customer he’s recruited since then.

The image of flame is a powerful

Yep. Mr. Beckkake knows all about that.

(I could have resisted. But I didn’t.)

Okay, that’s the last straw. We lefty snark-purveyors have to organize and split up the fucking work. There’s only so much mockery to go around.

PS: You’ve earned a special place in Snarkhalla with “Jesus is truly going to enjoy peeling off his flesh and pouring Jerk Spice over him for all Eternity.”

I can’t wait for such hard-hitting Blaze expose’ pieces like “Democrats…Monsters or Muslims?” and “Do You Know Who Is Breathing All The Oxygen God Put Here Six Thousand Years Ago?  Liberals!”

Oh, and Rumpies, Jane Hamsher and the Firebaggers are taking a victory lap on watching the Dems burn.

Please squish them.  Thanks.

Please squish them.

On it, Z!

Dammit, they just won’t let Tucker Carlson have ANY fun, will they?

Rooting for America to lose, Glenn?

Comment by Steve M. on 08/31/10 at 03:38 PM

Teabaggers like images of snakes, flames and blood.  They’re going to love the afterlife. ;)

More competition for Politico.

...Jane Hamsher and the Firebaggers are taking a victory lap on watching the Dems burn…

FYI/FWIW, she got props from Weigel on her poll-aided prescience.  She acknowledged Weigel’s attagirl in an update to her post.  Permanent thaw in Hamsher-Weigel relations (particularly chill winds emanating from JH in the past, for reasons I’m too lazy to dig out)?  OR merely insincere air kisses sent over an icy pond?  I reportify, u deciderate.

Comment by meepmeep09 on 08/31/10 at 05:40 PM
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