Best. Online. Petition. Ever.

What about the children?

I know we have some Food Network junkies around these parts, so I’m sure this online petition, brought to our attention by the folks at FN Humor via Twitter, will produce a chuckle or two:

Cover Giada De Laurentiis’s cleavage on Food Network

Although Giada may be a competent chef, she is a disturbance and promotes sexuality to innocent viewers, including children. Her excessive cleavage-revealing outfits are not appropriate for a learning show. Focus should not be directed toward the host’s outfit but toward the element that he or she is producing. Because of this distraction, I think it is fitting that the viewers that feel the same way I do express their emotions.

UPDATE: The signatures are pouring in. Keep ‘em coming.

Posted by Kevin K. on 08/27/09 at 03:40 PM • Permalink

Categories: Food • Skull Hampers • Television •

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Ooooo, can we Wonk the petition and make up funny names? I see Booby McBooberton led the way. I’ll put on my thinking cap…push-up bra…whatever.

Comment by Betty Cracker on 08/27/09 at 03:47 PM

Ooooo, can we Wonk the petition and make up funny names?

I would be heartbroken if you guys didn’t.

Sincerely,
Booby McBooberton

Comment by Kevin K. on 08/27/09 at 03:53 PM

I won’t let you down, sir.

Sincerely,
Mrs Hugh Janockers

Comment by Betty Cracker on 08/27/09 at 03:59 PM

Wow, with the addition of you two guys they’re standing at 8 signatures - well on their way to the projected 10,000! Bring it on Roasters!

(I can’t sign the petition because Giada’s boobies are one of the highlights of my aging spouse’s life and I can’t do that to him.)

Comment by marindenver on 08/27/09 at 04:07 PM

All of a sudden, I really want a ginormous vanilla milkshake. With two cherries on top.

Comment by Oblomova on 08/27/09 at 04:47 PM

I’m keeping abreast of this developing situation.

Comment by Tracy on 08/27/09 at 05:01 PM

Has anyone ever considered all the delicious things you can make with Mounds chocolate bars?

Comment by Oblomova on 08/27/09 at 05:04 PM

Erin Gobraughless ... oh man ... I guess I gotta break out Mammy Graham

Comment by HumboldtBlue on 08/27/09 at 05:33 PM

Since I have neither cleavage nor cooking ability, I think Ms. De Laurentiis is perfectly justified in flaunting her assets.

Comment by Oblomova on 08/27/09 at 05:41 PM

Hi! My name is Isiah Nipslip and I just registered my poutrage at this outrage.

Rusty Warren would be proud. Knockers up!

Comment by notjenna on 08/27/09 at 06:05 PM

A Rusty Warren reference. This day is now perfect. Thanks, Notjenna!

Comment by Oblomova on 08/27/09 at 06:15 PM

Spectacula Pontoons and Areola Mountaintips have doubled down on standing up for duty, sir!

Comment by Mrs. Polly on 08/27/09 at 06:53 PM

Dr. Phineas Phunbags at your service!

Comment by Oblomova on 08/27/09 at 07:29 PM

Mammary. Misty water colored mammary…

Comment by Hunger Tallest Palin on 08/27/09 at 07:48 PM

Ivana Morterborder reporting for duty!

Comment by Pumalicious! on 08/27/09 at 07:48 PM

By now the originators of this petition are probably considering hara-kiri.

Comment by marindenver on 08/28/09 at 12:45 AM

We don’t get the food network over here (we make do with Nigella Lawson, spawn of Nigel, Destroyer of Lives), but I can only assume that it doesn’t involve much frying.

Comment by YAFB on 08/28/09 at 04:20 AM

By now the originators of this petition are probably considering hara-kiri.

Or a new petition to make it illegal to Wonk petitions.

Comment by Hunger Tallest Palin on 08/28/09 at 05:54 AM

Thank you all for making me lose my shit on a dry, overly technical conference call that was making my ears bleed and remove what was left of my brain cells.

Comment by gimmeabreak on 08/28/09 at 08:32 AM

ChiChi Maidenform, checking in

Comment by Tom65 on 08/28/09 at 09:08 AM

Stop it people she is well loved on this part of town! Besides we’ve moved on from her Boobs to how ridiculously small her damn hands are….even if she is like 4’6” tall.

Harry Paratesttees