I watched part of the clip too but also found the voice unbearable. What’s that saying, “elections have consequences?” Well, one happy consequence of this one is that I don’t have to listen to Sarah fucking Palin anymore.

Our resident perl hacker is pulling it together.

If it turns out to be katiebird, I’m throwing myself in front of a bus.

I want to know who told them to unplug their modems and wait 7 minutes. That’s precious.

The Palin video just doesn’t work without something being slaughtered in the background.

I want to know who told them to unplug their modems and wait 7 minutes. That’s precious.

Not 6 minutes and 59 seconds, Betty.  That won’t work.  It must be 7 minutes exactly. And you must be purring when you plug it back in again.

PUMA HAKA

We should do a “help, I’m in moderation” thread before I enforce another much-needed PUMA moratorium when the awards are over.

(Hint: unplugging your modem and waiting 7 minutes is an unnecessary waste of time if you want high speed cheating. )

A modem.  How quaint.  I assume they have it plugged in next to their 8-track player.

OK, let me see if I understand this.

In order to “prove” that someone else is cheating by voting more than once per day per computer, one of the blogs entered into the competition is going to figure out how to cheat and then post it to their blog.

And they think that will lead to the disqualification of some OTHER blog?

Have I captured the obliviousness properly?

Ooooh, not only are they ferocious advocates for Women’s Rights 2.0 (sign up, ladies, before all the good rights are spoken for!), they’re also mega-ultra-doublesecret tech monkeys with mad skillZ?

Hey, lesson learned.  I won’t be fuckin’ around with those cats anymore, believe me.

Oh, little known fact:  It was some cheaty cheat cheater with a perl script who caused McCain/Palin to lose the election.

God damn computers!

Have I captured the obliviousness properly?

Perfectly.

As a sometime Perl hacker myself, I eagerly await some of the most bass-ackward High School-level Perl to hit the web since Matt’s Script Archive.

Even better, I can’t wait for NewOrleansPuma and friends to paste it into Word and wonder why it isn’t doing anything.

Even better, I can’t wait for NewOrleansPuma and friends to paste it into Word and wonder why it isn’t doing anything.

We have an early contender for Comment of the Day.

“The site who must not be named”?!
That’s priceless! If Wonkette is the Voldemort of the internet, can we be deatheaters? I always wanted to have magic powers, think of all the cheating we could do, the possibilities are endless.

Does anyone know if the new Pumasphere site requires some kind of special browser plug-in to activate?

On my computer, it just sits there like a turd for days on end.

bass-ackward High School-level Perl to hit the web since Matt’s Script Archive

funny!

having been sick all week, this weblog awards war has been my reason for draggin’ myself to the laptop each day.

Strange - not for me; it loads right up on Firefox.

It’s basically just a clearing house of FAIL - some bullshit mission statement and links to other PUMA sites (three total)

Tom65—That’s EXACTLY what I’m seeing, which is why I thought there was something wrong with my computer. ;->

Hmmmm…your votes couldn’t be because you’re not unbearable twits who still think HRC has a chance.  Off to unplug my modem…

This may be a little too geeky for a post (I’ve programmed in Perl, too), but figured I’d knock this out for Sean as a thank you for the chuckle.

It’s not enough to turn off the modem. You actually need to physically disassemble it, then follow this ancient hacking tip from The Dick Van Dyke Show:

“Put everything in the bag, the phone and everything, then go out on your lawn, wave the bag over your head, and SCREAM LIKE A CHICKEN!!”

Can’t wait until they try and call Hayes customer support.

“Put everything in the bag, the phone and everything, then go out on your lawn, wave the bag over your head, and SCREAM LIKE A CHICKEN!!”

Eerie how Dick Van Dyke predicted the whole strategy of the PUMA movement.

Actually, the PUMA is speaking of one of their esteemed members, Pearl Hacker.

Come to think of it, that would be a great drag name.

Does anyone know if the new Pumasphere site requires some kind of special browser plug-in to activate?

On my computer, it just sits there like a turd for days on end.

I guess they just cloned the PUMA PAC site then.

Kevin K - How dare you deface what was likely a perfectly good O’Reilly book like that.  I’ll be impressed if they can write a script to cheat in the voting.  Based on my own experiments, it looks like they record a timestamp and a machine ID of some kind each time you vote.  That could probably be spoofed, but you kind of would need to know how they are deriving the machine ID.  And it ain’t IP address.  All of my systems are behind a firewall, so they all get the same outgoing IP, but I can vote on all of them.  Hell, I can vote on different Virtual Machines on all of them.  I assume the unplug the modem crap is based on the assumption that you’ll get a new dynamic IP when you re-connect.  A little knowledge is a dangerous thing…

#  nicedeb Says:
January, 9, 2009 at 1:23 am

socalannie, I agree. Some modifications need to be made to the voting process, or it’s just too ridiculous. This is supposed to a fun deal. All of the races that Wonkette decided to skew are pretty much invalid.

Normal people don’t vote en masse for someone just to screw with someone they don’t like. I know that people who spend a lot of time online, are a little twisted, but come on… get a life, people.

This shit drives me crazy.  Wonkette has used stuff from here a few times during 2008 (with links back to us). I’ve exchanged a few emails with Newell. They knew about Rumproast. This wasn’t just a revenge pick. Nice Deb, on the other hand, had no relationship with PUMA blogs at all.  myiq recommended her in an obvious attempt to “down vote” Rumproast.  I’m guessing he knew about her from when he was failing over at Ace of Spades during the general election. Why is it okay for her to get votes from Ace (who may get even more traffic than Wonkette) and the PUMAs (who didn’t know who in the hell she was until Confluence started pushing her) and not okay for Roast getting votes via Wonkette and the other blogs that actually like this blog.  The only reason she’s huffing and puffing on her blog is because, surprise surprise, the PUMAs once again failed to deliver.

Retarded, I tell you.  The whole thing is completely 100% retarded.

Mrs. Polly—It’s no accident that his initials are “DVD.” I have always believed that his show was written by time-traveling refugees from the future, who buried encoded hints and warnings of things to come in every script.

The key is the “ottoman” in the opening title sequence. Once you make the connection between that and current events in the Middle East, everything else is clear as window glass.

Normal people don’t vote en masse for someone just to screw with someone they don’t like.

True. Only PUMAs and Democrats for McCain do that.

I am pretty sure the commenters need to be mentioned in the “thank you for this award, blah blah blah” post.

Rumproast is winning a majority—in a 10-way race.

Says PUMA: “INCONSTHIEVABLE!”

Wonkette posts linking to Rumproast long before the awards:

I am pretty sure the commenters need to be mentioned in the “thank you for this award, blah blah blah” post.

No doubt.

Normal people don’t vote en masse for someone just to screw with someone they don’t like.

How do these people make it through the day without putting a fork in their eye?

If the PUMAs had been smart about this they would have endorsed blogs that were already ahead.  Then they could finally say they won something and extrapolate that as proof they have relevance to voting and from there to elections in general and from there to the entire political process in the country.

I’m pretty sure there’s a formula to get there but I’ll let the awesome PUMA Perl Hackers work it out.

Wonkette posts linking to Rumproast long before the awards:

They’ll claim you faked those.

Ouch.  I just saw Ziegler get interviewed by Schuster on MSNBC.  It quickly deteriorated into a shouting match with Ziegler accusing mSNBC of having an election agenda to get Obama elected.

Tom65—I think you and I should jointly lobby for a “Comment of the Day” nod.

Nice Deb has inadvertently reduced this entire brouhaha down to a single, koan-like kernel of krazy.

Here’s my problem with the whole deal.

I vote for rumproast, Kevin sends my payment, but PayPal takes out ~3%, so I don’t actually get my full payment.

Kev, think you can bump up the payment so I get the full $5?

we’re slacking:

Stateofdisbelief, on January 9th, 2009 at 11:18 am Said:
Ummm…I don’t want to jinx us, but that site which shall remain nameless and others like it have backed off considerably.
There was not a troll in site last night during my “have compassion for the pervs” post.

justlen—What part of “We’re bored and winning” doesn’t SOD comprehend?

Somebody on Wonkette last night was pondering getting 4chan to go after them.

Now THAT I’d pop popcorn to watch.

Truthiness award should go to this comment by StrangeAppar8us:

Normal people don’t vote en masse for someone just to screw with someone they don’t like.

True. Only PUMAs and Democrats for McCain do that.

I guess bitterness is genetic:

joannathemaid 01.09.09 at 11:17 am
Single parent here also and not a dime from the x. In fact, in the 80s they would not go after a father for child support if he lived out of state. Not a dime of welfare. My mother the same. My grandmother the same.

Somebody on Wonkette last night was pondering getting 4chan to go after them.

A few of us were trying, but hackers, while amazing and awesome when utilized, have ADD to an unexplainable extreme.

As John Ziegler kicks and scratches for attention for his trumped-up interview, be sure to pass on the infamous interview this no-talent assclown had with Nate Silver a few months ago:

Glix—Thanks, but I shamed myself by begging.

Give that prize to Tom65 for saying the same thing, only funnier.

Ziegler is an idiot hack and nothing more.

The best part about it is that I’m sure he intended that interview footage to be pro-Palin propaganda, but all I’ve seen is the media tearing her to shreds over it.  Say what you want about Hannity, but at least he actually made her look good enough in his fluff job interview(s?) so that there wasn’t a pile-on after it.

I think everyone on this thread should get comment of the day, but I really liked this from Ripley:

ferocious advocates for Women’s Rights 2.0 (sign up, ladies, before all the good rights are spoken for!)

Because that’s really how they think. PUMAs are the annoying kids who were always checking to see if you got the cookie with more chocolate chips and if you did, they would pout and scream “It’s not FAIR!” They think of rights as a limited commodity, like the last box of Krispy Kreme donuts in the conference room, so obviously if “inadequate black males” get a leg up, then there is less room for them. And since they are at heart passive and scared people waiting for someone else to do the heavy lifting, they really do worry that “all the good rights” will be taken before their savioress arrives to help them.

Which is also - ding ding ding!—precisely how most conservative Republicans, especially those of the evangelical bent, see themselves. Heaven couldn’t possibly be big enough for everyone, so there has to be a culling process—kind of like a whites-only country club. Not everyone can possibly deserve decent healthcare, so we need to ration it through the marketplace, and if you can afford it, then you deserve it more.

And it’s not about working hard—why do you think the GOP was so set on rolling back capital gains taxes and “death taxes,” but perfectly okay with payroll taxes? Their master plan was to make sure that those who have wealth, not those who work, will get the tax breaks. And PUMAs unconsciously mimic that mindset by expecting to reap the rewards of feminism (symbolic or not) without having done any of the labor required to build the movement.

I’ve always had disdain for the phrase “victim feminism’ (though not as much as for “do-me feminism”), but if there were such a thing, the PUMAs would be it. Fortunately, most real feminists are focused on being proactive, not wallowing in bathetic cults of grievance.

OT, from huffingpost:
Obama Inauguration: Celebrity Attendee List
Hip-hop will be well represented in DC that night, thanks to the Hip-Hop Summit Action Network’s ball, which will feature guests and performers like Russell Simmons, T.I., Young Jeezy and LL Cool J on the eve of the inauguration. Jay-Z recently announced that he would also perform at a party that night.
————————&# 8212;———————— ;———————
How will it take Chucky’s little hate group to say this “proves” Obama is a “misogynist”?

Kevin—Nice idea for the O’Reilly book, but the PUMAs seem to like to do things by hand.  For example, in their prowls, they basically function as a human bot-net to send large (well…) numbers of emails.  If Murphy could get them to prowl arbitrary lists of addresses about such pressing feminist issues as “R0!EX W4TCH3S” and “It’s so small,” she might be able to run a decent small business.

One thing that interview brought home for me is that Sarah Palin really is the perfect role model for the PUMAs - for her, everything that goes wrong is always someone else’s fault.  The interview with Couric didn’t go well, not because Palin couldn’t bother to prepare for it, but because Couric’s an attention hogging bitch.  Likewise the failure of her candidacy generally was the media’s fault.  If she’d been on the Democratic ticket (gag), everything would have been different.  The transference of the PUMAs’ “loyalties” to Palin was really a given.

HAH!

Schuster just said that Zielger may be on Hardball tonight.  Pop some popcorn kids, that should be a classic segment.  I’m sure tweety is already salivating.

Jay-Z recently announced that he would also perform at a party that night.

Didn’t they get their panties knotted over this guy during the primaries and wasn’t it totally debunked?

Their shenanigans are so epic I can’t keep them straight anymore.

Just heard on MSNBC that the Illinois House just voted to impeach Blago by 114-1.  Now I’m trying to figure out what idiot would think it was a good idea for the Blag to continue on as governor!

By the way, I wonder when Daragh plans on filing her year-end report with the FEC? Memorial Day is just around the corner, you know…

I want to know who told them to unplug their modems and wait 7 minutes. That’s precious.

Pssst.  Don’t let this get around, but my mad Perl h4Xo4 skillz have revealed that it will work if they unplug their modems and wait 24 hours.  I’ve done it like three times already!  Srsly!  It rly workz!

And I keep voting for Rumproast because that will prove how the Internet is controlled by Obots.

Wake up, media!!!1!

Yeah, Jay-Z has a couple of PUMA related issues - the 99 Problems (But a Bitch Ain’t One) and the brushing off the shoulder thing.

Schuster just said that Zielger may be on Hardball tonight.

Marindenver, may I present the idiot in question?

Will Bower deserves to have the interview with David Schuster played on a constant loop on the flat-screen TV I plan to hang on his tombstone.

Forever.

“but why am I still the only person in the world who has pointed out that Palin uses the word “also” more than the word “the””

Some years ago, I read a long last vicious flame by a winger before he left a forum, and one of the examples he gave for what he hates so much about liberal was that they would use (apparently elitist) words like “likewise” and “also”. Since then, I always smile a bit when I see someone from the right use one of these two words. Someone from the right who not only uses it, but has it as a verbal tick? Brilliant!

So, also, I think that’s pretty funny that, uh, also, these words are so likewise aristocratic and also likewise liberal!

Still no Perl script.  I guess “resident perl hacker” is having a hard time plugging their modem back in.

My Perl contract rates are very competitive, PUMAs.  Maybe you can take up a collection, or Murphy can throw some of her funds my way before the FEC seizes them.

Also, speaking of Murphy:

Our SOS Action Team is CRACKLING! Each of the six members has taken on at least one mainstream media outlet to monitor every day.

Translation: In our tireless effort to fight woman-lynching and femicide (I shit you not), over half of the regulars are sitting around yelling at their televisions.

Seriously, “femicide?”  Is that the stuff you spray on your credit cards to keep goldberries, er, gold-diggers away?

over half of the regulars are sitting around yelling at their televisions.

All day.  Every day.  Jenniforhillary’s dream job.

Kerry Reid, re your comment on 01/09/09 at 12:32 PM -

Here’s how I have come to characterize the phenomenon of which you speak.

I describe people as generally adopting one of two worldviews: the philosophy of abundance, or the philosophy of scarcity.

The philosophy of scarcity can be summarized as: there is only so much to go around; anything you have means less for me; I have to hold on to everything because someone else will steal it from me.

The philosophy of abundance can be summarized as: there’s plenty to go around; I’m glad you have what you have because I don’t want others to go without; I can give away everything because I can always get more.

PUMAs and other Republicans generally fall into the former category; Rumproasters and other Democrats into the latter.

Allan, spot on.

Tony Kushner gave an interview several years ago, when Stanford was in the midst of the uproar over revising their humanities canon, and he talked about the philosophy of scarcity as attached to knowledge: if people read Toni Morrison or Ralph Ellison, then inevitably Shakespeare or some other dead white male will get shafted. When in reality the pursuit of knowledge is ever-expanding, and exposure to all kinds of literature makes it more likely, not less likely, that you’ll continue to see out a wide array of good stuff.

And for fuck’s sake, though I don’t unquestioningly worship Toni Morrison, I also think we can stop pretending that every word Shakespeare wrote (or the Earl of Oxford, for any conspiracy buffs in the house) was genius and thus we must all read “Titus Andronicus” before we even dream of reading “The Bluest Eye.”

Just to clarify, obviously Tony Kushner decried the application of the philosophy of scarcity to the acquiring of knowledge and the study of literature.

Exactly Kerry. 

After all, everyone knows that the human brain can only hold so much knowledge, and if you fill it up with Toni Morrison you will get a “memory full” error message if you try reading Shakespeare.  I hate it when I go and try to acquire new knowledge and am then forced to delete other things I used to know from my brain.

For instance, I started reading Jonathan Safran Foer’s “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” and now I no longer remember the recipe for pina coladas.  By the time I’m finished reading, I won’t even know what a pina cola… umm… what was I saying?

Like that episode of “Married With Children” where Kelly is studying for her finals or something and her brain keeps getting full!