BoogerGate: Digging for the Truth

Thanks to alert Balloon Juice commenter WereBear, I learned that Rush Limbaugh was possibly caught on film picking his snoot in Patriot owner Robert Kraft’s booth during last night’s Super Bowl. There is much speculation about it on the Google: Did he or didn’t he shove his finger knuckle-deep into his nostril in full view of all the swells in the skybox, including Steven Tyler?

Deadspin has a pretty definitive photo here. However, some wingnut site called the “Daily Rushbo” gives the clip the Zapruder treatment and concludes that no nose-picking occurred. Not content to rely on the analysis of someone daft enough to run a Limbaugh fan site, I used advanced digital still analysis techniques and found that the truth is far worse than the original rumor.

First, here’s the Deadspin still:

image

And here’s a detailed view of Limbaugh in mid-pick—the enhanced image clearly shows a viscous, green glob of mucus dangling from his index finger:

image

And a couple of frames later, the horrible truth is revealed: Not only did Limbaugh extract a slimy, revolting booger from his snout, he disposed of it by wiping it on the back of his host, Mr. Kraft.

image

Jesus, that’s disgusting. But it kind of puts the NFL ownership’s rejection of Limbaugh’s bid to join their little club in a new light, doesn’t it? It’s not that the owners were put off by Limbaugh’s constant race-baiting and misogyny; it’s just that he’s one crass motherfucker.

[X-POSTED at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 02/06/12 at 10:57 PM • Permalink

Categories: NewsPoliticsBedwettersNuttersOur Stupid MediaSportsTelevision

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Ah, the old Seinfeldian conundrum of “pick or scratch”? It’s forever a question of vantage, indeed. While the “enhanced image” shows the nasal nugget of the proboscal prospector, one who has listened to Limbaugh might imagine that a deeper sinal probe was taking place. It’s my belief, based upon his position in the backrow of the box, that he did not expect anyone to see him nudge the icepick that has been shoved up his nose for several years, which he prods on the odd occasion that his battered forebrain attempts to form any compassionate or logical, non-partisan thought. He was thus performing the surreptitious scratch of that angry inch or so of neurons that might, without constant maintenance, possibly make a wholly unprofitable decent person of him—and which therefore, is perpetually punished.

Rather than an icepick I pictured Homer Simpson’s crayon lodged up there.

Isn’t that Steven Tyler front row center?

I was rooting pretty hard for the Giants, didn’t know Limbaugh was in Kraft’s box until after the game.  Another reason to root against the Pats!

@Ubik, yep, that’s Tyler.

@JasonM How sad that his chemical dependance has resurfaced as an addiction to Velveeta.

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