Breaking: Incontrovertible Proof of FSM’s Existence Revealed

Wingnut douche-barge (much bigger than a canoe) Glenn Beck has been struck dumb:

image

He provided a weepy flashcard “monologue” on his Goldline Central network about the condition (it comes and goes, he says) and reflected on the need to be more uplifting and positive.

It’s as if the Flying Spaghetti Monster rammed the Rotini of Righteousness right in the bastard’s throat, just as He once stopped Limbaugh’s ears with the Vermicelli of Virtue. Ramen.

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/11/13 at 05:45 PM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsNuttersRelijun

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Heh.  Couldn’t happen to a nicer or more deserving guy. 

Let’s see, how long until the first “Obama-vocal-chord-death-ray” conspiracy theory starts to make the rounds?  I’ll give it 10 minutes.

Here is his answer:

Jeez, photoshop demanded for the “What would you say?” progression.

It’s just a play for sympathy from a grifter who wants a “reboot”.  The rubes love a “redemption” narrative.  He also wants to fool advertisers bigger than Goldline or Survival Seeds purveyors into thinking that he’s no longer toxic.

Beck seems to be a fan of the redemption schtick - it was a big part of those “inspirational” books he was peddling a few years back. Probably an easy game to run when you can cry on cue.

Jeez, photoshop demanded for the “What would you say?” progression.

If those stills don’t show up on SA or somewhere else in the next few days, I will be very surprised.

Note cards?  Pfft, that’s weak.

I eagerly await Beck’s next “silent” show where he explains the links between the IRS scandal, the NSA PRISM program, George Soros, and the Illuminati, all via interpretive dance done to the full 17 minute version of In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.

Mormon Beck fans will love the comparison to a prominent scriptural villain, Korihor, who was silenced by the prophet Alma, forgotten by his followers, and then trampled to death by a mob:

http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/30?lang=eng

Alma himself had a similar “intervention” as a rebellious youth, though this was followed by his Paul-style conversion:

http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/mosiah/27?lang=eng

Frankly, I’d be happy if Glenn’s story ended like either one of these guys.

Comment by seeker149 on 06/19/13 at 06:54 AM
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