Breitbart Beat-Down: The Sorrow and the Pity

The first reports of the atrocity began to trickle in this weekend: BigHo founding blogger Andrew Breitbart had a real-life “Showdown in Searchlight” while on his way to the Sarah Palin Screech-a-Thon and Monster RV Rally in the desert. A video of Breitbart’s harrowing encounter with “unhinged” Harry Reid supporters has finally emerged.

WARNING: If you have small children or sensitive pets within a 10-meter radius of your computer, please remove them from the vicinity before you click “play.” And then steel yourselves before watching, for what follows is so hideous, so vile and so repugnant that it may instantly strip away your faith in humanity and even sap your will to live. Don’t bother sending your therapy bills to me—you have been warned:

Talk about man’s inhumanity to man. It kind of puts that Katyn Forest kerfluffle into perspective, doesn’t it? Weep for your country, and then pick up the threads of your lives and go on. If you can.

UPDATE BELOW THE FOLD!!11!!

H/T to fellow Roastafarian StrangeAppar8us for suggesting a Zapruder tape-level examination of the evidence:

Who threw the eggs? Where are the splatter marks? Notice the shape of the eggshells and the way they flutter in the breeze generated by the assaulted bus. Is that a grassy knoll behind the policeman in the last frame? I’m suggesting nothing: I merely report. You decide.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 03/30/10 at 05:35 AM • Permalink

Categories: NewsPoliticsBedwettersNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryOur Stupid MediaSkull HampersYouTubidity

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Damn. The A-List Jason Mattera swaggers through the enemy camp with a cameraman, and gets driven off with an air-horn. The image will be forever burned into my brain, just like that awful movie where Martin Short plays an obnoxious little kid.

Five bucks says Andy slows this down, adds some film grain and runs it on a loop like the Zapruder tape in a perma-box next to the Big Government masthead.

I wonder if his tears taste like cinnamon?

Brilliant idea, Strange—stay tuned for an update.

Back, and to the left….back, and to the left…back, and to the left…..

There was enough cholesterol in that egg to kill 10 Anti-Christs!

It would help if the shooter knew how to use the auto-iris on the videocam. Some details are blown-out at this exposure. Why is history always captured by amateurs with shitty equipment?

Quite clearly, though, the cop in the background can be seen arcing his arm (egg release?) at the moment the bus passes out of frame. Textbook COINTELPRO, if you ask me. But only the guys in the Egg Ballistics lab know for sure, and they’re probably hip-deep in this thing.

I can’t stop watching that slo-mo video. It’s better than “The Wall”!

There’s definitely something in the underscore that sounds like the opening synth riff from “Mexican Radio” (at matched slow speed).

Could this be a subliminal anti-immigration “Easter” “Egg”?

Fuck, this thing is a Dagwood Sandwich of multi-track layered propaganda. Now I must hear it BACKWARDS!

I think you’re on to something - I definitely heard “Paul is dead” in there somewhere.

EGGS! They are the Gnome King’s greatest fear, so why wouldn’t they work against the Nome Queen?

Anyone else notice how Breitbart talks with a lisp when he gets defensive?

I think all this hyper-con fear-mongering is being used to hide a little secret!

Jeff-

As much as it makes sense.. speaking for Teh Gayz, Ltd., we don’t want him on our team.  Please, say it’s not so.

The kerning on that bus is all wrong. Also too, teleprompter!

Inspired, I’m having a delicious omelet for lunch.

Breitbart makes no bones about his obsession with fisting.  It’s all he ever talks about when challenged on, well, anything at all. 

Only Andrew has added “fisting” to the “Muslin Kenyan Teleprompter Nazi” epithet generator.

Why is that?

So… He’s gay, right?

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