Bumpit/Tribble 2012 : The Quality Is Unbaleevable

      The Child Stays In The Picture

EXCLUSIVE! Rumproast is pleased to have scooped the rest of the media, whose noses were pressed against the window of secluded Times Square ‘s La Famiglia Pizza (coincidentally a venue appearing in whatever that rotten show was that the President pre-empted) while The Blundering AlsoToo and the Tribble (™YAFB) ingested some long-form formaggio.

The cream of journalism did manage to record Half-Governor Me the People daintily sawing at her pepperoni with a knife and fork while Melania For-the-Moment-Trump manufactured her own food from the light given off by her diamond-weighted knuckles. However, thanks to your devoted Roastazon Reporter’s ability to shinny up pink marble using only plastic ivy and security cameras for handholds (a leftover from her days as a clerk for Spencer Gifts), she was able to grab this exclusive shot of the Teabagger Dream Ticket taken just as the Alaskan Frozen Cheesecake was presenting the Friend of The Blacks with the only trophy he’d never had to desert another trophy for. Note Piper Palin trying to engage the attention of somebody. Anybody. Tired. All hard glittery surfaces.Want to lay down, Mom. Mom?

Not funny: genuine picture of a little girl with worse bags under her eyes than Amy Winehouse.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/31/11 at 11:57 PM • Permalink

Categories: ImagesPoliticsNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryOur Stupid MediaSkull Hampers

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Not funny: genuine picture of a little girl with worse bags under her eyes than Amy Winehouse.

Jesus Christ, you ain’t kidding. We need to start a relief fund for the children of self-centered attention craving co-bags who can’t tell the difference between a child and a stage prop.

Speaking of which, what the hell has she done with Trig?

Is the knife and fork thing really so bad? I prefer to eat really hot pizza with a fork ‘cause it’s easier to cool it off and keep it from dripping tomato sauce all over my clothes.

On the other hand, in a world where arugula, spicy mustard, and Cheez Wiz on cheesesteaks are matters that prove Evil Unamerican Beliefs, maybe turnabout is fair play…

Speaking of which, what the hell has she done with Trig?

Mama grizzlies sometimes eat their young. Why do you think Piper looks so frazzled. She knows she’s next on the menu.

Is the knife and fork thing really so bad?

Well, it’s no doubt a cultural thing (like when Americans visit the UK and invite derision by eating fish and chips with anything but their hands), since the Gothamist pointedly snides:

Another weird note: Palin was eating her pizza with fork and knife.

Perhaps pickier customers usually choose to bring along their own trowels and other customized eating irons, but that may attract corkage.

And Snooki still enjoys a meat-heavy diet, apparently—“a pepperoni pizza, a sausage pizza and a meatball pizza”—which prompts me to ask how one eats a meatball pizza. Do you need a squad of fielders at the table periphery? Do they get an extra tip for every successful catch?

P.S. I have a theory that if this ticket flies, it’s going to be Tribble/Bumpit 2012. Palin would prefer another free pass to sidestep the primaries and all that gotcha debatin’ stuff, and Trump would love the chance to flaunt his blowhardery before captive audiences yet again.

You can look at that picture and just know that wire hangers must make Palin crazy.

Who’s that little girl’s daddy, Scott Weiland?

Comment by Steve M. on 06/01/11 at 08:57 AM

I can’t help but imagine that at some point in that pizza party there was a brief fleeting moment where Tribble and Bumpit locked eyes and admitting to each other psychicly that being in on the scam is fab: “Grifting; ain’t it great?  Get on the graaaaaavvvvvvy train baby!”

As for the poor kid; damn, that is some serious who gives a shit about the kid being exhausted being expressed by her so-called “mother”.  What a selfish bitch, and Piper knows better than to displease mommy dearest.

Palin said, “What do we have in common? A love for this country and a desire to see our economy put back on the right track,” and she likes “his independence, his willingness to speak his mind.”

You know, I’m pretty goddamn tired of people being admired for “speaking their minds.” If the mind in question is filled with horse manure, that’s not something to flaunt.

This must have been where the Colonials battled the Hessians for control of Times Square. It’s in the Constitution, ya know.

What’s with the lump on $arah’s neck?  Is she attempting to grow a third breast?  Not thyroid, that would be centered on her lower throat.  Perhaps, her brain trying to leave the site of the crime?

ms badger, I’ve been wondering too. Perhaps it’s from spending too much time in the sun; I myself have had to have a few moles removed, but at least I didn’t wait until they developed antlers.

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