Catastrophony

If you monitor wingnut blogs at all, you’ve no doubt heard about a DC “union thug” who used a placard to swat a FreedomWorks activist’s iPhone out his face, touching off an amusing round of garment-rending, persecution-imagining and revenge-avowing. Watch the swatted iPhone footage if you dare; it’s the most ghastly, wanton infliction of carnage since the Breitbart Egg-Trocity:

Absolutely chilling. And the iPhone-owner’s reference to her “personal property” clearly indicates that the assault was on her diminutive female person.

Everyone who’s anyone in the wingnutosphere was shouting this from the rooftops yesterday. Breitbart has probably locked up the BigThug domain name.

But the most interesting suggestion of how to capitalize on the incident comes from Ace O. Spades [via Alicublog]:

I would suggest that when Tea Partiers congregate, they wear an armband of a specific color if there has been any assault on them in, say, the past month. I’d suggest Purple for a bruising attack/simple assault (as Tabitha Hale suffered), Red for any attack that draws blood, and black for a truly serious attack, a deadly sort of attack (which may or may not result in actual death).

Given their hysterical reaction to iPhone-Nacht, perhaps the tea partiers should consider pulling a pair of Depends adult diapers over their faux Colonial tights at the next rally. If there was a recent “attack,” the appropriate portion of the diaper could be stained brown (perhaps ritually via a communal pudding bench). In the absence of a recent assault, the diaper could remain unsoiled in readiness for the next outrageous attack on someone’s person(al property).

Posted by Betty Cracker on 02/25/11 at 09:09 AM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBedwettersNuttersTeabaggery

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Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I’m being repressed!!

I love it when pricks pull out the “I have a ____ degree” line, especially when said prick’s political contemporaries have spent the last fifty years making the term “academic” a pejorative.

This chilling incident, even more chilling rendered in chilling slo-mo, reminded me of this.

I have to think, though, that “communal pudding bench” doesn’t come from nowhere. Betty, is there something you need to share with us? We’re here for you, as soon as our armbands from Oriental Trading arrive in the mail.

Sean Hannity (or was it Beck?) had the paid FreedomWorks “media” gal on his radio show yesterday, and no matter how hard Sean/Glenn tried to get her to make this sound dramatic and violent, she would only say that the protester swatted at her cell phone with his plastic sign. No threats, no fists, no open hands, no contact, no nothing.

At the end of the interview, she half-heartedly promised Sean that she would “file a police report.”

PS: Arm-bands and TPers are a match made in Munich. I say, go for it.

Why not a Purple Heart bandaid?  Morton Blackwell must have a few left over from 2004.

Comment by MaryRC on 02/25/11 at 10:02 AM

Try as they may, “union thug” will never have the same poetic resonance as “deplorable wingnut.”

I don’t have time to check it out, but how many of these screeching opportunistic vacuous amoral dipshits were feverishly excusing,  defending, and minimizing the Rand Paul headstomper (and no doubt still would)?

Were they this upset when the Rand Paul supporter stomped on that lady’s head last year?  Didn’t think so.

What about a RED armband with some sort of BLACK design on a WHITE background?

and black for a truly serious attack, a deadly sort of attack (which may or may not result in actual death)

Because you have to make it absolutely clear to those asshats that they don’t actually have to be dead to show up at a rally in a black arm band.

https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Handk erchief_code

Comment by casey on 02/25/11 at 12:49 PM

What about a RED armband with some sort of BLACK design on a WHITE background?

Couple it with a tidy side parting, to express solidarity with Gov. Walker, and a smear of greasepaint just below the snout to memorialize all those who’ve had to blow their noses in tears at the thuggeristic unionists’ onslaught and I think you have a winning combo.

iPhone-Nacht

Win!!  I also love Edroso’s point that Acey Spacy didn’t come up with an armband idea for people who were blood libeled like the Snook.

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