Ceci N’est Pas Une Long Form

Fantasia On A Wingnut Melody

Behold the Heidelberg press, of the same vintage as the machine that was in use printing government documents like, say, long form birth certificates, in, say, Hawaii, around the time of the much questioned nativity of you-know-who. Wingnuts theorize that this press, one of which was sold at auction, was bought by “Obama cohorts’ to print a special Sucker Edition of the Long Form. Of course the Obama “cohorts” were planning to forge the Long Form eventually! This forum at Godlike Productions was discussing how to discredit the long form, should it ever appear, way back in 2009.

As if a little thing like the release of the Long Form could slow the Hatriot Party down. If anything, it gives them two documents with which to massage their conspiracy-swollen knobs. Reaction around the Altered States of Teabagistan has been fast and furious, and none more furious than the whackaloons’ favorite Raving Beauty, with her Pepto-Pink Playgun:

IT’S FAKE IT’S FAKE IT’S FAKE—- ROCK SOLID PROOF
POSTED BY ANN BARNHARDT I- APRIL 27, AD 2011 12:40 PM MST
Arrest that dirty, rotten Son of a Bitch NOW.
You know what, I apologize. I apologize for calling Obama a “son of a bitch” . . . BECAUSE DOGS HAVE PAPERS.

Barack Obama is a criminal of the highest order and MUST be arrested and tried for treason NOW.

Isn’t that sweet? There speaks a “Conservative Christian.” She styles herself a Catholic, and is of course another Randhole, because demonstrating the Virtue of Selfishness makes the Virgin Mother smile. And her years of experience with livestock commodities have made her expert in all things, like Adobe Illustrator forensics. She sends her readers to the Smoking Gun, seemingly unaware that the SG is mocking her:

So here’s a few nutty points about the birth certificate sure to be seized upon by the nonbelievers…

To be sure, she directs her readers to the bubbling bile pit that is the comments section, where more people claim to have worked in the Hawaii records department than actually populate the state of Hawaii.

Illustrator is now also the program of choice for fooling around with long-form forensics, perhaps because all of Polarik’s Photoshop forensicsantics were disproved with the short form. Now the debunking, if anybody has the energy for it, has to be started fresh instead of being a copy-and-paste job. As per usual, the Hatriots give no explanation for why a government document would have been created in the program with which they are trying to deconstruct it. They also startle easily: “Nice try Mr “President” But if this birth certificate is from 1961 then WHY IS IT IN PDF FORMAT!!!?????!!!??? ” screams one bright light at TMZ who has evidently never googled a government document.

Another commenter at the blog where Raving Beauty posts (and to which I’m not linking*) believes Obama was born in Hawaii, but something is still fishy:

“freedom1781 says:
April 27, 2011 at 1:03 pm
Looking at it again…I think he was born in Hawaii, just different date. Also where it says at the bottom “Date Accepted by Local Reg.” AUG- 8 196 appears dark green, 1 is jet black.

Yes,they changed the date of course! Because, because…....why? Because something about it has to be——not what Ozero says it is!

Over at Obamaconspiracy.org, Dr. Conspiracy, who actually has worked in health care information technology, gives his own, rather less dramatic, evaluation of the long form (photocopied from a bound book onto safety paper), and says: 

Some silly claims are being made by a few folks that the document is a fake. All I can say is that such folks are too far down the rabbit hole of conspiracy theories to be saved. They are beyond convincing, and it’s not worth trying.

And at Birther Archivist/Analyst Extraordinaire Patrick McKinnion’s place, he remarks that

The birtherstani have shown an amazing ability to ignore facts and evidence before. This changes nothing save the dialog and types of claims made.

Sadly yes.  The “Birtherstani” had been waiting for this day to come, not as an answer, but merely as an obstacle to be overcome on their mission to belittle and deperson the man in the White House, to the point where the world would understand that Barack Obama had no right to be there. For some reason having nothing whatsoever to do with the color of his skin. Of course not!
*She’s Googleable enough if you really want to find her, but if you think I’m linking our jolly little blog to Bazooka Jane, think again
** Likewise for “Dagny’s” bosom blog-buddies. I had them at my little neglected blog once, and one of them made a thoroughly ungodly mess.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 04/28/11 at 11:00 AM • Permalink

Categories: ImagesPoliticsBarack ObamaBedwettersNuttersTeabaggeryRelijunSkull Hampers

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But if this birth certificate is from 1961 then WHY IS IT IN PDF FORMAT!!!?????!!!???

Yes, because you can’t take a paper document and use it to create a PDF,  any more than you can create life; PDFs simply exist in nature, and are born and die through natural processes with which mankind can’t tinker.

LOL Steve!

Re this whole birtherpalooza thing, I haven’t been so ashamed to be an American since GWB was president. Back then the president was the source of shame. Now it’s the country…

I hope Hillary’s proud that there are still racist, wingnut former PUMA blogs with her name in the masthead that are even today salivating over every detail of the lives of Obama’s promiscuous whore of a mother, his philandering jigaboo Daddy and his bubble-butt Wookiee wife…and praying the Democratic Party will be destroyed by a tsunami of Conservative Christian Bigots like Ann Barnhardt in 2012.

I’m sure Secretary Clinton would want to curl up and die of shame if she knew what was being perpetuated in her name. Luckily for her, these obscure crackpots are largely unknown in Foggy Bottom.

And her years of experience with livestock commodities

Yeah that show involving a miniature horse ... But I have said too much already.

I can’t say that “Ann Barnhardt” had crossed my radar up until today.    Now, ye GODS what a nutcase.

BTW, Ron Polland / Polarik weighed in on the long form over at the Pest and eFail today.  Prize quote:

“Without looking at what the White House released, I know it is also a forgery.  Right off the bat, Ann’s signature is forged.”

Yes, Ron Polland, Ph.D. in bullshitology can tell a forgery WITHOUT LOOKING AT THE DOCUMENT!

Patrick, somehow I knew this would grant Polarik and Beckwith a second chance to be even more righteously and vigorously humiliated than they were the first time.

But unless Ed Hale and Chief Editor Korir return for a curtain call, I’m going to real disappointed.

Strange -  Well, someone who is believed by the PTB at Fogbow to be Ed Hale chimed in to say they threw in the towel and the long form is legit.

As for Chief Editor Korir, ask and ye shall receive   13 April 2011

https://africanpress.wordpress.com/2011/04/13/reveal ed-president-obama-is-a-lucky-man-–-the-kenyan-born-ruler- of-the-american-people/

OH FOR CRAP’S SAKE.

Sources disclose to API that President Obama will write a very interesting biography revealing his birthplace, but only when he is no longer the President. One thing he should not forget, however, is the fact that he can still be prosecuted after leaving office.

Forget the Whitey-Tape—BRING ON THE WHITEY BOOK!

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